I'm sorry I haven't updated guys. I know I was supposed to. There's just been some worrying stuff going on that made it really hard for me to write this chapter. I won't burden your minds with that.
Instead I'll burden your minds with the feels that you may potentially get whilst reading this.
And I know that I was going to write a few more chapters, but plans have changed. This is the last one. I really hope you enjoyed reading!! Keep a lookout for what I post this summer. It's not going to just be fanfics, but I hope you like them anyway.
Vomment and fan! And never forget I love you!!!
-BB
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Chapter 16
Coughing.
Just coughing. That's all That was to be heard around 221b nowadays.
I had been hanging between life and death for weeks now.
I couldn't do anything anymore. I had grown too weak. Even my brain processed things more slowly.
I was wearing away slowly.
And I knew it.
I had this one little feeling in the back of my deteriorating mind.
A feeling that I wouldn't last until tomorrow.
"Sherlock, do you want some water?" John asked, looking at me sadly. I finished coughing before I answered him.
"No, water doesn't help anymore," I sighed.
John's face became even more grave. "Sherlock...I think it's time to go to the hospital."
"No. I want to die at home," I argued.
"You want me to watch you as you take your last breath?" John's voice quavered.
"Well, would you not be there if I were in the hospital?" I asked.
John nodded. "I suppose you're right."
I studied the look on his face. He was just waiting for this to happen as much as I was.
"Come here," I said, holding my arms open and trying to console him.
John reluctantly stepped towards me.
"This hurts Sherlock," he said as he plopped down next to me on the couch.
"I know, I'm sorry," I said.
"We didn't even sleep in a haunted house."
Yes. The bucket list had gone incomplete in that one aspect.
"But this is pretty old, seventy-one for me, seventy-six for you...I'd say this counts as growing old together," I said quietly.
"Not old enough," he whispered as he snuggled into me.
"Well, in a few years, we'll have eternity together," I reminded him.
"Right. I know. That's the only reason I'm able to stay strong. I have that day to look forward to," John said.
"You shouldn't look forward to your death."
"What else do I have without you?"
I blinked back the tears that I found stinging my eyes. "You have Hamish and Piper."
"Well, yes, of course. And I do love them very much, but I'll never love anyone the way I love you, Sherlock," John explained.
I kissed the top of his head in response and laid back onto the sofa.
My breaths were so strained, it was hardly worth it anymore. I was in so much pain, both physical and emotional.
I laid my head back.
Any breath could be my last...
"No, Sherlock," John whispered.
"John, it's time."
"But I can live with not seeing you every day," John's face was twisted with pain.
"I'm sorry but you can't see me again, not in this life anyway," I said pitifully.
"But...I love you," he began to cry.
"Quite right too."
John looked puzzled.
"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it..." I said.
I knew I was going to die now. I choked out the last words, "John Watson, I love you."
I closed my eyes again and let myself drift off into the last sleep I would ever have.
Visions of my life flashed before me. So many memories - all the good ones with John in them.
•••
I saw white.
Blinding white.
I squinted my eyes that I had not remembered opening.
I looked around. It looked as if I was on a cloud, shades of gold were vibrant in the sky.
"Where am I?" I whispered to myself.
"Sherlock Holmes," a voice said from behind me. I wheeled around to face a man with dark hair, dressed in white. "I am Castiel. Your guardian angel. This place has many names. Some call it the promised land, others Valhalla, but most prefer Heaven."
"What am I doing here?" I asked. I had expected to be somewhere extremely far south from here, "I've never been to church before."
Castiel laughed. "The lord cares not how much devotion one shows towards him, but instead what one does in the name of justice, and Mr. Holmes, we've been waiting for you for a long time."
"What's so good about this place?" I asked, not noticing anything special about it. In fact, there was nothing to be noticed.
"Well, you're not exactly in heaven yet, but if you travel with me in that direction, we will reach the golden gates," he pointed off into the distance.
"When I get to heaven, what will be there? What can I expect?" I asked.
"Why, everything you've ever wanted or ever will want," the angel laughed.
"John?"
Castiel's blissful expression darkened a bit. "No, not yet."
"Can you say when?"
"No, for I do not know yet. That is beyond my control," he said.
"Okay, I will come with you, but I'm going to wait for John...outside the gates," I made an agreement.
"Are you sure?" Castiel asked. "There's no telling how long that could be."
"I know. But I also know that he would do the same for me," I said.
"Very well," he nodded.
We walked on the cloud until we came to a towering gate. It must have been 100 feet in the air.
I found myself gaping up at it.
"Yes, it's tall. That way no one who was not meant to be here can enter," Castiel explained.
I stood, feeling like an ant against against the monstrous golden bars.
"I'll wait here. Thank you for bringing me," I said.
Castiel nodded, realizing that I no longer needed him. The next time I blinked, he was gone.
I took a look beyond the bars. Everything looked so happy. I couldn't wait to enter, but I would. For John.
I slid down into a sitting position and slumped against the gate.
I waited.
I found myself hoping that every person that came to the gate would be John.
Occasionally people would wave or send a smile my way, but most of the time, no one saw me. They were too obsessed with getting to their promised land.
My promised land hadn't arrived yet.
Time didn't go any faster in heaven. I waited six years.
Then he came. I saw him walking in the distance. I knew it was him. He always walked with that sense of purpose.
When he got close enough to see his face, I stood.
He looked over and immediately his face lit up. Something about him looked different.
He started running. I waited for him with open arms. When he hugged me, the force made us both fall to the ground (or cloud). I started laughing.
"Sherlock, I've missed you," he said.
"I've missed you too."
"You didn't have to wait for me," he laughed.
"Sure I did, you would have," I responded.
"You're right. Sherlock, you look young again!" he exclaimed.
That's what had looked different about him. I hadn't noticed because the John in my mind always looked young.
"You look young too!" I smiled.
"Are you sure want to be here? There's no crime to fight in heaven," he joked.
"I think I'll live."
"No, you won't. We're dead," he reminded me.
"Oh, let's just go already," I said standing up. He held out my hand to help him up.
"Yeah let's go," he smiled.
"I love you, John," I said for the first time in six years.
"I love you too, Sherlock," he said and kissed me.
Off we went, through the gates of heaven, into eternity together.