"Oh my god, Vic!" I threw my arms up, all of my fear now gone and replaced with annoyance. "As soon as I thought you might have had a good excuse, you just say 'I didn't do it'. I can't believe you're still lying to me. Was everything you ever said to me a lie? How do I know you're not actually 32, or 16? Maybe you're not called Vic Fuentes. Or even better, you might not even be a man for all I know!"
"Kellin, stop being such a drama queen," Vic chuckled dryly, being his usual facetious self. "Let me explain, before jumping to conclusions."
He looked to me for approval, but I just rolled my eyes and grumpily crossed my arms over my chest. I was not a drama queen.
"Fine," I muttered.
"It's a long story," suddenly the mood dropped from a teasing to a glum one, "but both of us have quite a lot of time." He took a deep breath, before properly beginning. I only wanted an explanation, but maybe it was easier to tell me chronologically. "It all started five years ago. I didn't lie about anything, including the fact that I became a librarian after quitting college, because I couldn't afford it. I always wanted to become a lawyer, so having to give up on that because of financial difficulties kind of sucked."
I was confused. How did this have anything to do with the three – or rather, two - people he murdered? This only made me lose more faith in him. Vic probably had something evil planned and was just dragging it out by telling this pointless story.
"I became really depressed. Like, I wouldn't eat, sleep or communicate with anyone. It really sucks when everything you've worked for so hard, is taken away from you because your parents are too egotistical to help you with anything even though they know you can't do it yourself..." He trailed off at the end, probably realising that what he was saying was not exactly necessary, although I wanted to know more about it. I still let him carry on though. "So, after not contacting him in months, I started talking with my brother, Mike, again."
"Do you have any more brothers or sisters?" I asked, just to be completely sure.
"No, it's just Mike and I. So, basically, Mike introduced me to his friends: Tony and Jaime. They were both really cool and, as soon as I met Jaime, we hit off straight away."
I was not sure if I wanted to really hear about Vic's love life as, whenever he talked about this Jaime guy, his eyes lit up with a dead spark and it almost made me ache inside like someone was mercilessly poking needles through all of my vital organs. It was as if he still hoping for something which would never happen.
"Even though we were quick to fall in love, we knew that it was a forever thing," he mumbled dreamily, softly smiling at the memory which only tugged on my heart strings. In the bad way. "Tony was also really awesome and we spent a lot of time together. It was basically the four of us, Tony, Jaime, Mike and I; we were inseparable. We did everything together: Mike and I lived the same house, the four of us started a band, we went out together every day. They were like my escape from the problems and the depression. They made me feel alive and so happy again. But then it went downhill."
Vic's face completely fell at the recollection and all I wanted to do was just go up to him and embrace him in a warm hug, but I fought against the urge to do so.
"We started doing things which we regretted later; mainly drugs. It was all for fun and they weren't heavy drugs, at least not for Jaime, Tony and I; but Mike, he always wanted more. He moved onto the more serious stuff. He took cocaine, heroin, cannabis. It all started getting out of hand for him and, before we knew it, Mike was involved with even worse things: gangs. He was constantly around dangerous people and we were really worried. He claimed that all he did for them was deliver and receive packages and it was completely safe, but it was quickly escalating to something beyond his control."
So, somehow, this all linked back to that sweet, bubbly man, Mike. He was in jail for drugs, but I never would have expected anything like that from him.
"Tony, Jaime and I wanted to put an end to it. We had stopped with the drugs and we wanted to help Mike do so too, but he didn't want to be helped. He was getting worse and worse with every single day. We tried everything to stop him – heck, we even drove him out of the city for a few weeks, hoping that some time away from everything would be the solution - but Mike always kept going back and relapsing. So we had no choice: we told him that we were going to the police. And, before we even knew what had happened, we were in the basement of the house that Mike and I shared, tied up, with my brother standing over us. And you already know what happened next..."
I gawked at him in disbelief with my mouth hanging slightly open. No, this was impossible!
"It was so horrible, Kellin," he choked out painfully, liquid pricking the corners of his eyes and it was an alien sight to me. "First, he tried reasoning with us. He really didn't want us to tell on him and he tried making up ultimatums, but all of them involved him carrying on fuelling his addiction and it was no use. So he...he forced me to watch, when he killed both of them. My own brother killed two of the people I loved most. They were his best friends too, but he looked like he didn't regret a thing."
By the time Vic finished the story he was bawling his eyes out; something I had never been unlucky enough to witness before. It broke my heart to know that someone hurt him so much and, as much as I wanted to believe him, not everything fit together yet.
"This doesn't make any sense Vic. You were hanging and Mike had his wrists slit," I pointed out.
Vic sniffed and scratched at his nose, then securely wrapped his arms around himself in comfort which I so badly wanted to give to him. But I could not trust him yet. His sobs had decreased, but tears were still flooding his tanned face and I felt the urge to dry them off, but quickly pushed the thought away as soon as I had it.
"Mike faked it all," he cleared his throat, to make it less raspy. "Just as he heard the police sirens, he knocked me out and hanged my body up to make it seem like I had done it myself. I wasn't exactly awake for the next few hours, but I'm guessing that he cut his own wrists so that it looked like I was responsible for everything."
Slowly the evidence for Vic's innocence started making more sense. After all, he had no motives to murder his boyfriend, best friend and attempt to kill his own brother too. Mike, however, obviously was not fully mentally stable at the time and he was led on by the fear of going to jail and the unsatisfied hunger for drugs. They were the only thing he cared about.
All Vic wanted was an escape from the cruel reality of life and the only people who could give it to him were those three men, however it all ended up breaking him further. Maybe even beyond repair.
"Up until now, I assumed that Mike was dead. I was told that he had died as well and I thought that maybe, while faking his own homicide, he accidentally cut too deep or something else happened. They were probably doing that for his own safety so that I would never try looking for him if I were to escape or something. And, when I saw him, just standing there, along with all of those unsuspecting people, I was so furious. I just wanted revenge for what he did, but I guess that kind of backfired. Still, I'm sorry if I scared you back then."
"Vic, I'm..." I was at a loss for words, overwhelmed by the information which I had been blessed with. "Why haven't you told anyone? You could easily prove your innocence and they would let you out."
"But I don't want to be let out."
Vic's answer had me tilting my head to the side in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I deserve this, Kellin. I was the one who suggested we start taking the drugs, in the first place. I never thought it would get so bad, but I started it all." He gazed at me through thick, soaked lashes, then choked out, "It's my fault they died."
"Don't say that!" Before I could take control over my spontaneous body, I found myself embracing Vic with the intentions of making him feel better. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and sobbed into it. I held him as close as humanly possible, and he held me too. "It's not your fault. You didn't know that Mike would do anything like that. You weren't the one who held the knife or the gun, it's all Mike's fault. Don't ever blame yourself for that, okay?"
I did not expect the question to be answered, and it wasn't. Vic only cried harder, which consequently made me want to break down too. His tragic story reminded me of what happened with Katelynne and I, although his case was much, much more horrific. I felt selfish for thinking that I had it worst, with being accused of rape, but Vic was accused of murder of the people he loved most. That must have hurt a lot more.
"Vic, now we're going to go to Officer Wentz and we will tell him the truth. I don't want you wasting your life here for something you did not do." I rubbed his back with one hand, while the other tangled into his long hair. Beyond the emotionless shell, hid a troubled, insecure man who wanted nothing but reassurance that things would, sooner or later, be okay.
As much as I did not want to be here alone, Vic deserved a better life than this and I was willing to give him the opportunity to do so. They always say 'if you love something, let it go' and, as much as I loved Vic as a best friend, life here was not good for him. Even if it meant I had to face the consequences of being beaten up every day for the next 15 years of my miserable life, I wanted him to be free.
"What about you?" Vic lifted his head to look up at me, tear stains ran like train tracks down his flaming cheeks.
"I'll have to stay, but it's fine. You've already spent enough of your life here and I don't want you to spend any more," I assured, with a shrug.
"But you did not do anything either."
"What?" My eyes widened, his statement catching me off guard, and I pulled back slightly to hold him at arm's length. "How did you know?"
"It's not that hard to figure it out," Vic chuckled humourlessly. "You seemed too innocent and affectionate to do something like that so, when I got to know you better, I was sure that you did not actually do it. Also, I kind of broke into one of the offices and looked through your file which made it even more obvious." He smiled sheepishly, blushing like a child who got caught red-handed. "We have a lot more in common than you think."
"I know," I sighed, "but it will be a lot harder to prove my innocence. No one is there to back me up, but we can still get you out of here. I don't care if I'm left alone, as long as you are happy." I smiled warmly at him, running my fingers down his soft face to get rid of the tear stains, and gave him a reassuring look. "Now, let's go tell M all about this so that he can get you out."
"He already knows," Vic said, as soon as I tried leading him out of the room. "Even though he believes me, he said that it's still not enough to get me out of here. Apparently I'd need actual witnesses and more evidence. There are no witnesses, that I know the names of, so the only way they'll actually believe me is if Mike confesses, but he obviously won't do that. It's probably the same with you and your wife: if she confesses to lying, then you would be innocent."
Only now, I knew how truly helpless Vic felt. Even if he wanted to leave Irongate Prison, he would not be able to. I wondered what it was like to know that you would be locked up in jail for your entire life. I still had some hope, with the knowledge that I would be out in 15 years or less, but Vic had nothing left. And I would do anything to make it better for him.
"So, who else knows the truth?" I asked, keeping our gazes locked as my hand delicately rested on his tight chest. My fingertips vibrated along with the rhythmic beating of his heart.
"It's just me, you, Mike, Gerard, Frank and M."
That was exactly what I had expected, as soon as Vic told me that more people knew. Gerard and Frank were not afraid of Vic like everyone else, so it made a lot of sense. I wondered why Vic had told them specifically and not someone different, but that was a question for another time. I was already exhausted with the events of this day.
"Why haven't you told more people?" I quizzed, finally detaching myself from Vic and leaning back against the wall behind me. I missed the feeling of his skin on mine, but I did not want things to be strange between us again.
"Why haven't you told more people?" He reversed my own question, making me answer it.
"Because they already look at me like I'm a piece of meat. If I told them that I'm innocent, they would think of me as a normal person, not a prisoner, and would probably assume that I'm totally helpless against them and would take that to their advantage," I explained.
"And that's exactly the reason why I haven't old any more people. It's better to be feared for something you're not, than be beaten up for something you are," Vic informed me with a knowing grin, when he noticed the realisation on my face. "It's easier to just let them believe the rumours and have everyone be scared of me, so I don't have to deal with any of them. They all think I'm some sort of unstoppable killing machine who could take on five people at the same time but, in reality, I am absolutely terrified of most of them – like, have you even seen how huge Austin is? And, my God, Zack could probably pick me up with one hand, with those muscles of his!"
We both laughed loudly at Vic's confession, feeling the tension disappear into thin air.
Times like these made me content with my life. Even though nothing was okay, Vic made it seem like it truly was and I trusted him more than ever before. With him here, my mind was not being overrun with thoughts of Katelynne and Copeland. It was just Vic and I and it was perfect.