Chapter Sixteen
"Zade..." Namumula ang buong mukha ni Sam habang ako ay nakangiti lang sa kanya. She looked cute. I love cute. Cute looks beautiful on her.
"Shhh," I whispered before unbuttoning her blouse.
Nakaupo lang siya sa kama habang nakatingin sa mukha ko, habang ako ay abala sa pagtatanggal ng butones ng damit niya. Tinanggal ko ito sa kanya at maayos na tinupi, inilagay ko ito sa gilid ng kama. Isinunod kong tanggalin ang palda niya.
"Kaya ko namang paliguan ang sarili ko," she said in a voice that lacks conviction. I gave her a small smile before scooping her up. She produced a yelp before encircling her arms around my neck. Ipinasok ko siya sa banyo at iniupo sa isang monoblock na inilagay ko sa loob kanina. She started reaching out for the dipper but I glared at her.
"Ako na," saad ko bago kumuha ng isang tabong puno ng tubig. I gently poured water on her and she gasped.
Ilang beses ko pa siyang binuhusan ng tubig bago ko kinuha ang sachet ng shampoo. She watched me as I tore the sachet open with my mouth. Naglagay ako ng shampoo sa kamay ko at iminasahe ito sa buhok niya. She was just staring at me and I stared back at her, too.
Pakiramdam ko ay nalulusaw sa saya ang puso ko. Dad always tells me that his heart melts whenever he does something for Mom. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam. Ang sarap pala talagang pagsilbihan ang taong mahal mo. Bathing her feels like a natural thing to do.
"Zade nilalagyan mo na ng shampoo ang mukha ko." Sumimangot si Sam at natawa na lang ako. She was adorably beautiful. The kind of beautiful that can light a dark grey sky.
"Sorry, I got distracted." Sagot ko bago hinaplos ang mga bulang papunta na sa mga mata niya. She reached for the soap and scrubbed herself while I continued massaging shampoo on her hair. It was teamwork.
"Talikod ka muna." She requested and I cocked an eyebrow.
"Excuse me, Ms. Antonio, pero nasilayan na ng mga mata ko ang mga gusto mong itago." I teased her but she scowled at me.
"Andeng naman."
"C'mon, babe."
Matagal niya akong tinitigan. "You called me babe..." She muttered.
"Yeah, well—"
"I like it." She smiled at me and it made me smile, too. Her smiles are contagious. Everytime she beams at me, I feel the need to beam back at her.
"I can't thoroughly soap myself if I don't remove these," sabi niya pagkatapos ituro ang mga natitira niyang saplot. I gave her a grin.
"Then remove it." I suggested helpfully.
"But you're watching." She pointed out and I groaned, giving up.
"Fine. Call me when you're done. I'll be standing outside the door." She nodded and I walked out, leaving her inside to clean herself up.
Kumuha na ako ng bihisan niya at inilapag iyon sa kama, 'yung mga pinag hubaran niya ay nilagay ko na rin sa marumihan. I felt like I was her husband and it made my heart pound faster. I liked the idea, loved it, even. Pagkatapos lang ng ilang sandali ay tinawag niya na ako. Pumasok akong muli at nakita kong naabot niya na ang tuwalya at nakabalot na ito sa kanya. She reached out for me with a smile, "I'm done."
I scooped her up into my arms and placed her on the bed. Kumuha ako ng isa pang tuwalya para tuyuin ang buhok niya.
"That feels so good," she murmured. Napangiti ako at bigla na lang siyang hinila palapit sa akin. Niyakap ko siya kahit nakatalikod siya. I buried my face on her still damp hair and yes, it feel so damn good. My sweet Dulcinea. "Hmm."
Hinanap ng kamay ko ang buhol ng tuwalya niya at tinanggal ito. It slid off her smooth and delicate skin. Hinalikan ko ang leeg niya at napaungol siya. It sounded like an open invitation to me so I continued. Her voice sounded like an angel's.
Iniyapos ko ang mga braso ko sa bewang niya habang patuloy sa pag-gawad ng mga halik sa leeg niya.
"The Rose." Her voice cracked a little. "Lang Leav."
It took me a moment to understand why she said that. She wanted me to recite the poem out loud. Natawa ako sa tinuran niya.
I've almost forgotten how much of a nerd I was when Elaine and I became an item. She was into sports and I wanted to please her so I learned tennis and baseball. 'yon na ang quality time naming dalawa. Pero hindi ko alam na sa mga ginagawa kong 'yon ay nakakalimutan ko na kung ano talaga ang gusto ko, kung sino talaga ako.
Being with Sam reminded me of who I really am.
Beneath the businessman that I am now, is the nerdy Zade Andrei Hurdiss Monteverde. I am never a fan of tennis, nor baseball. I'm a fan of classical literature. I never liked sports, I liked books and coffee. I was a nerd, and as I sank deep into my thoughts, I bumped into a sudden realization.
I was a nerd, and I still am. This is who I am.
Sam had never been ashamed of it.
Idinikit ko ang mukha ko sa buhok ni Sam at napapikit ako nang maamoy ko ito. Heavenly. That's what the smell is like.
"Have you ever loved a rose, and watched her slowly bloom; and as her petals would unfold, you grew drunk on her perfume..." I started. Iniharap ko siya sa akin, her expression told me that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
She reached for my face and kissed me so I did the most sensible thing to do: I kissed her back with the same passion. Binuhat ko siya at inilagay sa mga hita ko. I shifted a bit to accommodate her weight. Her skin was hot and it scorched mine.
Kinagat ko ang labi niya at sinipsip ito. She put her fingers on my hair and tugged. I love that. God, I love everything she's doing to me. She could slap me or smack me, but I would still look at her with a lovesick glint in my eyes.
"Have you ever seen her dance, her leaves all wet with dew; and quivered with a new romance—the wind, he loved her too..." My voice was barely audible but I continued.
She smiled that wonderful smile of hers and something inside me ignited.
Her hands found the buttons of my polo and she undid them slowly, torturing me.
"Babe, please..." I begged in a voice so ragged that I couldn't even recognize it.
"Have you ever longed for her, on nights that go on and on; for now, her face is all a blur, like a memory kept too long..." Itinuloy niya ang tula.
Higit-higit ko ang hininga ko habang tinatanggal niya sa akin ang polo. She pushed it on the other side of the bed and looked at me. She ran her fingers on my abdomen and I cursed under my breath as I let her put me in hysteria. My emotions are swirling in a murky tornado.
"Sam, Sam, Sam—" I called her name like it was the first word I learned when I was a child. She bent low and licked my skin. Napapikit ako dahil sa ginagawa niya. She licked and nipped different parts of my torso and all I could do was let out a low groan and occasional moans of pleasure.
She undid my belt too and unzipped it. She pushed my underwear aside and held me. She started moving her hand; up and down. It was putting me in delirium.
"Have you ever loved a rose, and bled against her thorns," she spoke again. Napaungol ako nang bilisan niya ng kaunti ang pagkilos ng kamay niya. Pawis na pawis na ang mukha ko at ang bilis na ng paghinga ko pero hindi ko gustong tumigil siya.
"Damn, baby..." I groaned due to the sudden assault of pleasure. Mabuti na lang at umalis si Jen ngayon kung hindi ay baka narindi iyon sa mga ingay na ginagawa ko.
Sam squeezed me tighter and I hissed. I was so close, I can feel it.
"And swear each night to let her go..." She was starting to get sweaty, too. But it doesn't matter. Papaliguan ko siya uli. Kahit paulit-ulit, hindi ako mapapagod.
Binilisan niya ang pagtaas-baba ng kamay niya kaya hindi ko mapigilang mapapikit. Her face was crunched up as she quickened her hand movements even more.
"Then love her more by dawn." She finished the poem. Just then, I felt my own release. Naghahabol na hininga na tinignan ko si Sam. She looked shy and fulfilled all the same. I chuckled and asked her to give her hand to me. Kinuha ko ang polo ko at pinunasan ang kamay niya. Nang matanggal ko rito ang lahat ng bakas ay inilagay ko na ang polo sa trash bin na katabi ng kama niya.
"Mauubusan ka ng damit kapag patuloy mong ginawa 'yan," sita niya sa akin.
"So, you mean there's more?" She gave me a teasing shrug.
Ibinukas ko ang dalawang braso ko at gumapang siya papunta ro'n. She hugged me. Para akong lumulutang sa alapaap nang dahil sa yakap niya.
It's amazing how magical a hug can be.
Binuhat ko siya at muling ipinatong sa mga hita ko. She's naked, I'm naked.
I couldn't believe that we were reciting her favorite poem while she was doing me. It felt amazing in a weird kind of way. It seemed like the thing only Sam and Zade would think of. The kind of thing only Sam and Zade will do.
"Andeng!" Pinalo na lang ako bigla ni Sam at nang tignan ko siya ay nagsisimula na namang mamula ang mukha niya.
"What?" I asked, feigning innocence.
"You're... You're..." She blushed profusely and I laughed.
"Hard?" I offered and she glared at me. Inihiga ko siya sa kama at tinanggal ang mga natitira kong saplot.
In a matter of minutes, I was already pushing myself inside her while she writhed below me. Ah, what a wonderful sight to behold. I pushed myself even deeper, impaling her faster and harder and she screamed and cursed. She called my name.
I felt like I was seeing Oz, then journeying to Wonderland, then flying in the blue skies of Neverland. I was up in Olympus, then in a sudden blink of an eye, I was standing in the lost city of Atlantis.
She closed her eyes while she moaned. I continued thrusting inside her and moments later, I felt her walls convulsing. With one final thrust, we both came.
"Damn..." Napamura ako. Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.
Sam looked guilty while staring at me. "I'm scared."
Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya. I pulled out and cupped her face. She was starting to become teary-eyed.
"Babe, what's wrong?" Nag-aalala kong tanong.
"I'm terrified of getting pregnant."
"Oh..."
Her face was pale and when I touched her hand, I discovered how sweaty her palms had become. I put a finger at the bottom of her chin and willed her to look at me.
"I know we have a lot of plans and it scares you..."
"It's not that." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Natatakot ako kasi hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin mapigilang isipin na ang lahat ng sayang 'to ay may hangganan. Sa gabi, bago ako matulog, laging may boses na nagsasabi sa akin na 'wag akong pakampante. And... I'm sorry for thinking that way, Zade. Hindi ko sinasadya."
"It's alright. Naiintindihan ko naman ang punto mo."
"I'm overthinking kahit na alam kong kailangan kitang pagkatiwalaan para mas maging magaan ang takbo ng relasyon natin... I mean, kung ano man itong mayroon tayo ngayon."
I gave her a small smile before kissing her tears away. "I'm sorry na masyado kitang nasaktan kaya natatakot ka. You could've just told me that you were scared. I could've given you an assurance, Maria Samantha."
"Assurance?" She asked, tears falling from her eyes. "What kind of assurance?"
There's only one kind that I could think of.
Alam kong dapat ay engrande ito, pero ngayon ay sinseridad ko pa lang ang kaya kong ibigay. Alam kong dapat pinaghahandaan ito, pero habang nakatingin ako sa kanya ngayon, alam ko na sobra akong sigurado.
"I would like to marry you."
"W... what?" It was her turn to stutter and look appalled.
I pulled her hand and placed it on top of my chest so she can feel how fast my heart is beating right now. I hope I can also get my fears, my regret, my guilt, and all my love across. She stared at the hand I placed over my heart and listened.
"You're not kidding, are you?" gulat niyang bulong. Umiling ako.
"I will never." I took a deep and nervous breath. "Will you marry me?"
Ang tagal niya akong tinignan. Kinabahan ako.
Ayaw niya ba akong maging asawa?
Hindi pa ba siya sigurado sa akin?
Tatanggihan ba niya ako?
"Zade—"
"It's okay if you're not ready." Agap ko.
"Andeng, sigurado ka ba?" Her voice sounded uncertain. "Hindi ka ba nabibigla? Nape-pressure dahil sa sinabi ko? Baka naman magbago pa ang isip mo."
The moment I came back to her, I was already certain that I wanted to bring her to the altar to prove my intentions. Naduwag lang ako. Dahil alam kong masyado pang maaga, na hindi pa siya handa. I want to take things slow, but when she told me about her uncertainty about me staying in her life, I couldn't stop myself. I had to prove that this time, it's as real as it gets. This time, there are no doubts.
"Sam, sigurado ako sa'yo."
Her eyes watered and I shushed her.
"Getting married is..."
"is done by two people who are deeply in love with each other," dugtong ko. "Mahal na mahal kita, Maria Samantha."
"Mahal mo ako?" tila hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong.
"Would I stay if I don't?" I answered her with another question. Humagulgol siya bago ako hinila para yakapin.
"Okay lang ba sa'yo na magkaroon ng asawang hindi nakakalakad—"
"All I know is that I'm in love with you and I'll stick around. Ako ang magsisilbing mga paa mo sa mga araw na hindi mo kayang tumayo. Literally and figuratively."
Natawa siya sa tinuran ko. Hinigpitan niya ang pagkakayakap sa akin.
"I love you, too, Zade."
Para akong inihehele.
"And yes, I want to marry you."
Kumibot ang labi ko pero kinagat ko ito para hindi niya makita na naiiyak ako. Sa dami ng pinagdaanan naming dalawa, simula noong nasa kolehiyo pa lang kami, hanggang ngayon, sino bang mag-aakala na sa huli, kami pa rin.