:: 15 ::
The thing about Luke, is that he may like how being a hockey player's son gets him attention, but he doesn't like the kind of attention he gets. No matter how much he says he willingly uses his father's name to get him friends, that's the exact opposite of what really happens.
Without the mention of Andrew, there's only ever been a few people he's gotten along with. Even bringing up his father, some people just don't care—well, they care, but not so much as to just be around to say they're friends with someone who happens to be related to a sports star.
So, when he finds someone who goes for the latter approach, it excites him. Especially when they know a thing or two about hockey and don't just try to impress him to get on his good side. Luke doesn't even care that much about the sport, despite what people think. He knows about it, knows when things are wrong, but that doesn't mean he cares as much as Andrew.
If it were Luke's life as much as it was his father's, he wouldn't be home at all. Just like Andrew. If it were Luke's life as much as it was his father's, he'd be home sometimes, but wouldn't stop talking about himself. Just like Andrew.
But that's not who Luke is, and he cares about how people's days were and he likes to hear about what others did on their own time.
Which is why Luke is smiling to himself while on the phone with Penelope—the girl he met at the school's hockey game—as she talks about what she was doing over the weekend. The girl lived on a farm, Luke had figured out. When Michael snapped at him and told him to leave, Luke went to hang out with Penelope like she had asked.
Luke ended up letting out a really pathetic squeal when he realized he had pulled up to a farm. His mom, who sat next to him, had laughed and told him to get out of the car.
They didn't do much, just sat against the shed and talked while Luke tried not to ask about the animals or farm every five seconds.
"Yeah, my mom made my sister clean out the pigs," Penelope laughed. "She hates working on the farm. Doesn't like getting dirty."
"But your pigs are so cute," Luke replied with a pout. "If you ever need help, you could always call me."
"Oh, yeah, I'm totally making the boy I'm interested in clean up pig pens with me," she said, Luke imagined with a roll of her eyes.
"Interested in?" Luke teased. It was different when Luke actually found someone attractive; suddenly he was actually confident, for whatever reason. He's still not sure why the change in attitude even happens, but it helps. A lot.
When he flirts, Luke doesn't just do it to lead anyone on. If he knows how it feels to have fake-something, why would he make someone else feel that way?
Again, Penelope giggled, "I guess you're alright," before Luke heard shifting on the other end. "It's almost midnight, Luke. We'll be walking corpses at school tomorrow."
"I'll see you then, Penny," Luke bid goodbye. A feeling was bubbling inside of him and, damn, he felt good. That hasn't happened in a while, and it almost felt foreign, but Luke liked it. He really, really liked it.
At school the next day, it felt less like a Wednesday and more like a Friday. Or, maybe that was because Luke was just in a good mood. He hadn't talked to Michael since he went to check on him yesterday, which wasn't normal for the two of them anymore. If Luke was really going to admit it, Michael was becoming his best friend. He knew Michael had Calum, so it probably wasn't the same for him, but Luke didn't mind.
Speaking of Calum, that's who Luke saw Michael with when he got to school this morning. They always hung out in the cafeteria until the warning bell sounded, so it wasn't a surprise. But, Calum looked concerned and then he looked upset and then he looked pissed off—all while Michael seemed to be talking about something. The boy had bags under his eyes and a crease in between his brows, he was either taking whatever Calum was yelling at him or simply ignoring it. Luke couldn't tell.
And even though he thinks Michael is mad at him, Luke wants to know what's wrong. He may consider Michael his best friend, but that doesn't mean the boy ever opens up to him. Granted, Luke doesn't really open up to Michael, either. The only time Luke can remember being let into Michael's problems was during his panic attack, and even then he seemed to be in his own place that wouldn't allow Luke to get to him.
For the next few moments before the warning bell, Luke stands to the side of the cafeteria and watches Calum's mood continue to change, Michael's got progressively more broken than it was. He looked like a kicked puppy, and nodded every time Calum said something. He was guilty of something, Luke figured.
It was eating away at Luke to know the reason behind whatever just happened. As far as he knew Michael was just in a rough place at the moment, he didn't understand why Calum would scold him for it.
The bell sounded, and Luke sighed. I'll know eventually, I guess.
Michael startled when Luke approached him during the last ten minutes of fourth period. The boy sat in the empty seat next to Michael. "I still think it's unfair we have AP Lang as out last class," he tried to ease into comfortable conversation, "I mean, it's practically torture."
Sitting confused and still a bit sad, Michael moved completely in his seat so he faced his friend. "Luke?" He hummed.
"Why are you talking to me?"
"Oh...you don't—that's okay, I can—"
Michael shook his head quickly, "No, I just figured I was rude to you and you wouldn't want to talk to me."
"You were in a bad mood, I get it," Luke smiled. "And besides, you're always kind of rude. But in, like, a weird and entertaining way."
"You're too nice to me," Michael groaned, letting his head drop down onto the desk. "I don't deserve this."
Luke shrugged, "Sure you do; you're my best friend."
Michael felt his chest tighten. He couldn't sit here and put himself through such nice things that he didn't deserve. It had taken him an entire night of thinking to realize that he truly was a shitty person. His life had been centered solely on himself and thinking he was the best at everything.
He told Calum about what happened yesterday, and Calum defended Luke—not that Michael was surprised when he did. It made him feel worse, sure, but Michael now understood that sometimes he did things that he deserved to be yelled at for.
Underneath the chatter of the class, Michael's thoughts were pounding against his skull, the fluorescent lighting not helping much with the headache they caused. "Do you think I can come over after school? I...I want to talk about stuff," he proposed quietly.
But, instead of the instant agreement he was used to, Michael saw Luke frown. "I don't know, Mike. Pen—"
"Penelope, yeah," he sighed. "I just thought I'd explain since I was an asshole." Michael is really trying not to be bitter about this girl. It isn't fair to her, because he doesn't have a clue about Penelope as a person at all, but it's a lot more difficult when she's all Luke seems to be focused on and Michael isn't used to not have his attention.
Michael doesn't like people abandoning him, that's all. He never had to worry about that with Calum because he has the same rule about dating that Michael does (or had, really) and focuses on sports. He's just not as hard on himself, he knows how to handle things a lot better than Michael, and that's probably how they get along so well: they balance each other out.
"We weren't going to hang out or anything, I was just going to call her later," Luke explained. But there was a blush completely covering his face and Michael hated it.
He is ready to admit that hearing Luke talk about someone else is hurting with every syllable that passes through his ears. He's ready to admit that yes, this annoying boy who really sucks at baseball is also the boy that Michael wants to know he wasn't just his last name and doesn't need to be good at anything because Michael will still like him anyway.
Except, it's clear that Luke is starting to like Penelope. Michael isn't good with feelings, and he's not good with confronting people about certain things; this is one of them.
It's not like Michael is dying to get Luke to date him, but it's definitely gotten to the point where there's no hiding that he's caught himself with this stupid, dopey smile every time he sees this giant dork and he knows he can't do anything about it and that kind of sucks and Michael is just really sad again.
He doesn't do feelings. Feelings mean he's exposed, unguarded, which is all Michael has felt the last few days and he doesn't want to deal with more of it.
Suddenly, the last bell of the day sounded and Michael moved slowly to get his things—or more like himself—together.
"Wait, Michael," he heard Luke call until the boy stood directly next to him in the halls. "I can call Penny later. You're my friend, and I wanna know what's wrong."
"I don't want to bother you," Michael mumbled. Of course, he was trying to act like he didn't want Luke to cancel for him, but really, that's what he needed. Luke watched him have a panic attack and that's the most vulnerable both he and Calum have ever seen Michael. So, yes, he was about to dump all of his feelings onto Luke because at least he has an idea of how nice Luke will be to him. Luke is always so nice.
"Did I just hear Michael Clifford tell me that he doesn't want to bother me?" Luke scoffed, but smiled when hearing a quiet laugh out of Michael. "Yeah, I want to know what's wrong."
"But, Pen—"
"Mikey, accept some help for once, okay?"
"Okay," he nodded hesitantly. "We have to wait for your dad again?"
"Uh...yeah. I don't know how long he'll take today, but it might be my mom," Luke smiled apologetically and sat next to Michael against the brick of the school building once they reached outside. A lot of other kids were waiting for their parents or whoever their ride home was, so it's not like it was weird that they were still here.
"This feels like that time we sat by the fields while you waited for him." That was a whole two months ago, it now being the end of October.
"You mean when you first couldn't accept criticism?" Luke chuckled.
He shrugged and picked at the grass growing between the cracks in the cement, "I still can't, really."
Then, Michael remembered. He's grounded for a still undecided amount of time, and if he didn't tell his dad he wasn't going to be home, the man would most likely take Michael's hockey stick and hit him in the head with it. So, he quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text, knowing the man would look at his messages later on.
"Maybe after you're done telling me what you want to, we can get your mind off of it by practicing my baseball," Luke suggested, a smirk on his face as he bumped Michael's shoulder with his own. "I know you love to boss me around."
"Some of the baseball conditioning has already started, though," Michael said. "Or are you doing what my dad suggested?" The actual season started in a few months, but the training for it was always a little before. A lot of people who have been on the team for a while try to prepare earlier.
If Luke got lucky, he'd make Junior Varsity.
"Yeah. I think I just want this year to be about getting better at it," Luke replied.
"You are really bad."
With a gasp, he pushed Michael over lightly. "Hey! Just because I'm self-deprecating doesn't mean you have to agree," he whined. Luke perked up when a car came into view, and Michael assumed that it was his dad. "He's here earlier than usual."
Michael remembers when they sat exactly like how they are now—against the school, talking (at the time it was somewhat negative, but still) and watching his dad run training. Luke had said something like, No one's forgotten about anybody, when Michael teased him about being left at the school by Andrew. He's starting to think that maybe Luke believes he has been forgotten. In a sense, at least.
Things are forgotten, they're left behind. But Michael doesn't think Luke should be.
• • •
idk this is weird and michael is sad and luke is flirty and penelope lives on a farm and i am going to DIE
also made the snapchat add me @ trashcait