“Would you like to step this way, please,” he said. Mouthing an apology to Stephanie, I followed the man. Run away now, whilst you can, you stupid boy. You’re going to go to prison for life! Maybe that’s where you belong though and Stephanie can see you for what you truly are.
I tried to control my thoughts, my feelings but they were overwhelming me. I almost blurted out my confession. After Stephanie was far enough away not to overhear, he stopped, turned round and patted me on the shoulder.
“We’ve been trying to find you for a while now. There’s something you should know. Your mother has been attacked. She’s in hospital now. I can take you there if you like.”
His words hit me like a fist to my face. Although no physical blow came, I felt as if I’d gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. I struggled to remain on my feet.
“How?” I managed to stammer.
“We don’t know conclusively what happened but we think your father is the culprit. I’m very sorry.”
Oh, no. What had he done? I had left her there, home alone when he was drunk.
It’s all your fault. You’re the reason she’s fighting for her life on a hospital bed. You should have stayed home. You’re just a good for nothing idiot.
“Are you ok? Do you want to go to the hospital?” I managed to nod, still struggling with my emotions. I felt like going to sleep and never waking up again. Surely this was just a dream? Of course, it wasn’t just a dream. Stephanie was looking directly at me, concern etched across her face.
“Can she come with me?” I asked the man.
“If you want her to,” he said.
I beckoned her over and we strode towards the car.
“What’s happened?” she asked, when we were in the backseat alone. I told her about my father’s recent behaviour, about the miscarriage and that my mum was now in hospital.
“It’s all my fault, I should have been there to protect her. To help her. Now she could be dead because of me.”
Stephanie grabbed hold of me, shaking me from side to side. Her eyes looked straight into mine, the stare making me uncomfortable.
“Listen to me, Caleb. It’s not your fault. If you’d have been there you’d be lying in a bed next to her, trust me.”
“I’m the reason they argue in the first place. They hate me, you know? I’m not a normal child and they hate me because of it.”
“What’s so great about being normal? I’m not normal, you’re not normal and we’re all the better for it.”
“What makes you so abnormal? I’m the guy who has never had a friend all the way through school, who sat in the corner alone. I’m the guy who couldn’t even go to college because he was so messed up with psychological issues. What’s so different about you?”
She let go of my hand, and I began to fear that I had lost her. However, she turned around and looked at me again.
“You really want to know?” she asked.
I nodded. I did want to know.
“What happened to you is nothing compared to my story, let me tell you. You were just lonely and you’re learning to get over that. I can never be cured from what happened to me. I have to live with it for the rest of my life.”
What she told me shocked me to my very core.
It wasn’t very long after I left our old primary school. I moved houses and to a closer school, it made sense at the time. I wish I could’ve stayed and been able to get to know you more, but that’s beside the point.
Mum and dad wanted to go to visit our family in Manchester for the Christmas holidays. I didn’t want to go, I told her I wanted to try and make new friends at my new school. If I was away for all the holidays they would forget that I’d even joined their class and I’d be a stranger all over again come January. But she insisted that she hadn’t seen her sister in such a long time, so we were going. That was that.
On the day we were to set off, I refused to pack my clothes and sat in the corner of my room sulking. Mum packed for me, not even bothering to fold my dresses, just shoving them into the suitcase. She was mad at me, of course, but I was even madder at her so I didn’t care.
My suitcase was in the car. Mum and dad were waiting for me but I refused to move. In the end, dad came to my hiding place and picked me up in his arms. I screamed, kicked and cried but it didn’t work. I was going to Manchester for Christmas.
We were driving along the motorway, when I stupidly decided to start crying and screaming again. I was upset, and young, so you’d think I could forgive myself, right? Dad took his eyes off the road, turning around to shout at me to be quiet and that’s when it happened. He lost control of the car, and we collided with a truck and the central barrier. They told me that my mum and dad died instantly and that it was a miracle I was still alive.
I was only in hospital for a couple of days, with minor bruises and scrapes. I was inconsolable; I kept blaming myself for what happened. I still do. If I hadn’t had been such a spoilt brat they would still be here. I went to live with my relatives in Manchester for a few years, but my aunt hated me. She couldn’t forgive me for what happened, so when I was old enough I decided to run away. I came back here and have lived here ever since, working two jobs and somehow managing to go to school. Its ok, though, someone very kind allows me to live with her. She’s very understanding with my situation and understands that I give her all the money I have.
At the end of her story she was crying heavily.
“It’s ok, Stephanie, you did nothing wrong. I learned that recently, too, and it’s hard to accept, I know it is but you were too young to know any different.”
“Don’t you think I’ve told myself that a million times? No matter what I think it was still my fault.”
“If it was your fault, you’d be in jail, yet here you are. After all this is over, I’ve got someone I’d like you to meet. You’ll think differently after you’ve met him, trust me.” She ignored my words, crying silently into her tissue.
“We’re here,” said the officer driving the car. With Stephanie telling her story, I had forgotten why we were in the back of a police car. I braced myself for what was about to happen and got out of the car. Stephanie followed me, still not talking.
Inside the doors, the hospital was very busy. People queuing up, waiting to be treated. Doctors and nurses rushing to and fro. The receptionist appeared alert, ready for our enquiry with a smile. Her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, which didn’t help her average features. I couldn’t help but wonder what she’d look like with her hair down.
“How can I help you?” she asked.
“I’m Caleb Jones, my mother had just been brought into hospital after being assaulted. How is she doing?”
She scanned her computer screen, typing on a keyboard, processing my information.
“Take a seat, Mr Jones. The doctor who is looking after your mother will be with you in a minute.”
I smiled, said my thanks, and waited for the doctor to arrive. Various magazines were splayed across a coffee table, and Stephanie picked up one to read. I was struggling to contain my nerves, fidgeting in my seat, crossing and uncrossing my legs.
“She’ll be ok,” said Stephanie next to me, but I hardly heard her words. The hospital itself was very clean; obviously they hadn’t cut back on their cleaning budget. I could smell the fluid used to mop the blue tiled floor from my seat. A huge wooden door opened to my right and a man strode through, dressed in a standard issue white coat. He clearly wasn’t afraid of showing his age, with his thick grey hair matching his aged angular face. His skin was slightly tanned, indicating that he probably had had one too many holidays abroad this year.
“Caleb Jones?” he stated, scanning the waiting room.
I stood up, and told Stephanie to wait for me.
“Would you like to follow me?” he asked. I nodded, walking quickly to catch up with him. He led me through the interior of the hospital, before we came to another door, which led to his office. He offered me a seat and I took it.
“We’ll get down to business straight away,” he said. “Your mother has suffered a quite brutal attack that left her with some internal bleeding. We’ve managed to stop that but we are going to keep her in for a couple of days in case it starts up again.”
“So she’s going to be ok?” I interrupted.
“As long as she doesn’t start bleeding again, yes. Only time will tell. I must say that I’m sorry that you’re having to go through this, it must be terrible.”
“Can I see her?” I asked.
“She’s asleep at the moment. Come back tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“No problem. It’s my job.”
When I got home I had an unexpected visitor waiting for me.
“Hello, Caleb. Deb has sent me to look after you whilst she’s in hospital. Your father has been arrested for assault, and I hope he rots in jail for what he did to my daughter.” I got the feeling my Grandmother wasn’t one for small talk. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“No, thank you. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Probably wise. Are you at school in the morning?”
“Yes,” I said, not bothering to explain that I didn’t go to school anymore.
“About time,” she said. “Good night.”
Great. Just great. As if my life couldn’t get any worse. Now I would be reminded every day that I had killed her husband, albeit in self-defence. Stephanie was hardly talking to me after coming clean about her life, mum was in hospital and dad was in prison. Yet, I knew what I had to do.
After tonight, the police would be all over our family like bees to pollen. That would make the disappearance of my grandfather a top priority. I was trying not to panic about this, but it wasn’t working. I was scared, it was plain and simple. Stephanie had it easy, she could never be convicted, and she just had to live with the guilt. In my case, the police would think that I’d killed in cold blood.
I needed help, to devise a plan to steer the police off track. The only person who knew my secret was Dr Palmer and I wasn’t about to come clean to anyone else. I needed to find him and get him to come back. I just had to figure out how.