I cried. Wept. Bawled. I stood in the corridor outside the Zephyr's medical bay. My left hand hung at my side, fingers clutched about the crook of the peace-bound Scipio. My right hand touched the back of Hedone's sailor shirt as we leaned into each other.
All my confidence fell away. I could not keep a stiff upper lip. I could not hold the anguish inside me any longer. I thought of my father. My mother. My sister, Blade. Leaving home. Now, the possibility of loosing Murphy was too much to bear. I could lose everything he had been, and everything we might have been.
I saw him in my mind. A perfectly appointed dandy with a bright smile. Always touching me. How I'd protested. How that made him do it more. The saintly way he looked when he played sitar. Lying there on the beach. Murphy on a table, stripped of nearly all his clothes, wires and machines about him. The way his body had jerked and convulsed hadn't looked natural.
"Minerva."
Hedone stroked my hair, brought my head to rest on xer shoulder. "Let it out," xe said, "it's all right."
I don't know how long I stood there, shaking, crying to Hedone. At some point Valentine arrived. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and smelled the equally strong Eau de Cologne. "We're underway. It's safe," he said, "The three of you should rest if you can. There are some box dinners in the galley."
"I will go if Jade does," Sina said.
I told them I wanted to lay down. We went to one of the crew quarters and found bunks. Hedone climbed into my same bunk. "You do not have to," I said.
"You could use the company of a friend right now."
I just nodded. I did not undress, but let the sword and mask drop to the floor. Hedone pulled a heavy blanket over us, but I still felt wretched and shaky. "Can you tell me," I asked, "how it was you met Murphy?"
"Of course." It sounded like Hedone smiled. "We met in Berlin. I went there after a doctor at the refugee camp referred me to a colleague who was a member of the Wissenschaftlich-humanitäres Komitee, and I traveled to the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, where they study human sexuality."
"I'm not sure I want to know how."
Hedone laughed. "I will not bore you with details. I made friends there. Some took me to a cabaret for the evening. That's where we met. Tyron was there with a friend from Paris. We drank, and danced, and talked. Do you know how you can feel excited just to speak to someone and discover things in common? It was like that."
"But, what was he like?"
"The same as now," Hedone said, "only the setting was different. His friend was a fashion model from Paris, so there were always celebrities and aristocrats stopping to speak to us, but Tyron was most eager to speak to musicians or writers. He was happy, like when he's in a sparring match with you. Mostly, he and I talked about what we read or how things in Paris or Berlin were so different from where we came from."
"Different how?"
"You know. If others are greatly concerned by how masculine one is, or how old, or who does what to whom. But...I think he should tell you. When he's better."
"It's very different?"
"Yes. But you know, don't you? How Murphy tried to make you look like a femminiello in Napoli, but not in Venèxia."
"Of course." Honestly, I hadn't realized what lay behind Murphy's motivations for editing my attire, except that he was rather a dandy. "He's still better with disguises than I am."
"But you created the masked swordsman costume." Hedone laughed.
It had almost been fun, at the time.
I fell asleep, for a little while.
When I woke, Dr. Laurus was there. He waited until Sina, Hedone, and I were awake and seated before explaining. He said Murphy was still unconscious, but his vital functions were stabilized; it was like he was sleeping and we could come see him.
"I will see him later. I want to wash first," Hedone said.
"I want to see him," I said. I turned and looked over my shoulder, and tried to smile for Hedone. "Thank you."
Xe patted the back of my hand where it lay on the bunk.
Sina agreed and we left for the medical bay. Before we entered, Dr Laurus said, "You'll see a few needles and tubes on Murphy, it's part of the treatment I'll explain."
I glimpsed Murphy from a small distance, tucked into a bed with a blanket covering much of his body. There was a needle visible in one of his arms attached to some tubing and a hanging bottle.
I had wanted so badly to be with him, but now I felt hesitant to go close. I didn't want to break down again. But, I saw Sina take a seat in the chair beside Murphy's bed.
"Would you like a seat, Jade?" Dr. Laurus pulled another chair out away from a wall and pushed it toward the bed.
I took the seat as Dr. Laurus sat in another. "Murphy is in a state of coma," he told us. "In my exam I found a puncture wound on his left upper arm. This, the cyanosis, and slowed respiration lead me to conclude that he was deliberately poisoned via intramuscular injection with a high dosage of an opiate, likely morphine. This led to the unconscious state in which he was found." He paused. "Last night, he suffered cardiac arrest. His heart stopped. Thanks to some quick thinking on Mr. Tesla's part, we were able to establish a normal rhythm with an experimental procedure. For now, I have him on intravenous therapy and he is stable."
"Is he going to wake up?" I asked.
"We don't know," the doctor answered.
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Part of a double-update.
The media is that song/video I hinted about a few chapters back, Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths.
Also, on a historical note, the organizations and institutions Hedone mentions are, well, from real history.