Amelia sighed out as she sunk deeper into her chair feeling the tiredness trying to overcome her. The whole day she had spent decorating the apartment for Hanna's and Alice's arrival. Mostly because it was Alice's birthday and they wanted her to have a good one. After all, she was finally leaving her teens and entering the somewhat true adulthood. Amelia never understood nor grasped the concept of happiness because entering the adulthood although she did save her own ass after aging to the certain age.
Amelia was happy that she had the help of the three boys. Her brother Lucas, Leon and Julian. After all those two footballers were one of her closest friends she would give her life for. Not only she was tired. All of them were and there was still more job waiting for them. Yet due the tiredness overwhelming their bodies, Lucas crashed in the guest room and Leon went home leaving already mentioned Julian and Amelia alone.
The formed tension, that happened roughly two weeks ago, was almost gone. Actually it was completely gone and once again the two were acting like they had never had a fight. Amelia somehow and unknowingly walked over the fact he hid things from her, and he apologized dozens of times making sure that she wasn't angry. It was a true relief that she wasn't otherwise he would be eaten away by the passionate guilt.
Julian was sitting on her right, checking the list they wrote and crossing all the things that they had finished doing. Cake was made, barely but made. Decorations were set the only thing waiting were the rest of the snacks and drinks that Leon promised to bring on his way there. Some small details needed to be added and the whole things was set for the party.
13th July, a hot summer night that made their blood boil and sweat spill unwillingly. It was almost brutal to do anything that the party preparations required but they had made it and now the two were sitting and resting trying to catch some oxygen that filled the empty space.
"It had to be summer." Julian groaned as his head fell down, his chin touching his chest lightly.
"I think this is the hottest day so far." Amelia whipped the sweat from her forehead and pulled her hair in the messy bun. Really messy bun or something that looked like it.
"I think so too." He nodded his head slightly. "So, I'm picking them up tomorrow?"
"Yes." Amelia reached for her phone opening the notes and searching for the time of plane arrival. "She said that they should land around...5PM"
"In a different circumstances I wouldn't mind the sweat but this is just outrageous." Julian spoke clucking at the end of the sentence.
"Different circumstances?" Amelia asked curiously, wondering what was going on in his mind.
"Yes."
"Please, do share."
"Well football practice, gym, orrrr....." He laughed making Amelia to choke on her spit when she realized where he was going at.
"Julian Draxler you sick pervert." She stated with dark blush, invisible due the darkness in the kitchen, making his laugh harder.
"In didn't say anything." Julian put his hands up defensively.
"Don't you play that game with me, Draxler."
"Which one hmmm?" He teased her knowing that it made her somewhat uncomfortable and plus her reactions were purely hilarious.
"Oh god." She said poking his sides with her foot. "Pervert."
"I'm just messing with you." Julian grabbed her foot to prevent her form tickling him wanting to hide the fact he was rather ticklish.
"I know, I know." She laughed along with him not wanting the silence to fall upon them two. Moments like this were treasured by her. She loved those moments where there was on two of them, taking about irrelevant nonsense just to keep the conversation alive. She loved the sound of his voice and how soft his whispers were when he tried to be considerate in the middle of the night. Even in the dark, his eyes shined the brightest and it was peaceful. Neither of them was in a hurry or had something to do. Just two of them exacting words and ejoyed the peace they feel around each other. "If Lucas heard you, he would have been mortified."
"But he didn't." Julian let her leg rest in his lap, not letting of her ankle, instead holding it gently feeling the smooth skin under his fingertips.
"You're lucky, Draxler." She put her other leg in his lap. "That I know yore joking."
"Oh c'mon, did I look serious to you?"
"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders still smiling. "Were you?"
"Of course not." Her said quickly while watching her laugh quetly not wanting to wake up her brother. "You're doing this on purpose"
"What?" She asked trying to act innocent.
"Teasing me."
"Karma is a bitch."
"Or Amelia."
"Ohhh Draxler that was low."
"Was it now." Julian cracked a smile
"You shady thing."
"Thank you I'm honored."
"You better be." She slightly fisted his shoulder not stopping with her laughter that she desperately tried to suppress and kept failing. Same was with him. They were both suppressing their laughter trying to be as quiet and as considerate as they could towards Lucas. Laughter soon died down and they were left in the silence Amelia tried to avoid yet it was so calming and so soothing it was just beautiful.
"Your hands are cold, you know." Julian said after her fist broke the contact with his shoulder feeling the coldness from her hand leave slowly.
"They always are." She chuckled while looking at her hands, one completely healthy and other one in a cast that lost its white color long time ago. Let's say that the team desperately wanted to become artists and her cast seemed to be the perfect material for drawing.
"I like that."
"I'll ask you again when winter comes." She laughed as Julian played with her fingers.
"You know what they say about people with cold hands?" He looked up to her, staring into her eyes that were barely visible due the darkness.
"That they have bad blood circulation?" Amelia joked pulling the ends of her lips upwards.
"Aren't you trying to be funny now."
"But really, what do they say."
"Well, they say that people with cold hands have a warm heart."
"So? You have a cold one?" He let out a deep chuckle.
"What do you think?" He whispered, his lips forming into a smirk.
"I don't think you have a cold heart." Her voice barely louder than a whisper and yet it was so clear in his head he would have sworn he could recognize it among the million other voices. Only because that specific one could make his heart go into overheat. "And I think you really have a thing for my hands."
"True." Julian laughed wholeheartedly. "Soft, gentle and cold."
"Is that the reason you want me to be your so called nurse."
"Yes." He cracked one of his true beautiful smiles that made Amelia weak in so many ways. His smile was like the brightest ray of sunshine in her life, giving her the whole other beautiful sight to the world. "And that is you, not everyone can be my Ami."
"Your Ami?"
"Well of course. Whose else's." He squeezed her hand, Amelia kept chuckling shaking her head and relaxing in the chair enjoying the presence of her loved one.
***
The next day ended up mostly them running around the apartment and finishing up the decorations for the party. Lucas ended up being Amelia's second hand in kitchen while the other two boys took care of balloons. The apartment couldn't have been recognized. It was in many different colors with mostly blooms covering the entire living room.
The snacks were ready, the drinks were in the fridge and the cake was sitting beautifully in the fridge cathing anyone's eye because who didn't like the chocolate cake in the first place.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're done." Lucas dragged of as he finished with baking some crackers he wanted to try.
"They smell good." Amelia said while looking the hot crackers in front of herself their scent spreading all around the apartment. "I'm a bit septic when it comes to the taste."
"You're such a twat, Amelia" Lucas pouted. "At least try to act excited."
"Wohooo." Amelia pumped her fist in the air showing no emotion or energy. "Let's go, crackers."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." The younger male snickered sarcastically, his face facal expression not really interested in anything she had to say.
"Wow, Lucas, those look good." Julian said after entering the kitchen. Lucas only nodded his head and glared at his sister before pointing at the Julian.
"See. He appreciates my hard work."
"Oh please, you're being a drama queen." Amelia huffed as she watched him pull another offended face.
"I swear you Becks..." Julian whispered under his breath while remembering when he went to Frankfurt with Amelia and Alice. That car ride was something and relationship between Lucas and Amelia didn't look any different.
"What?" Both of the Beck siblings asked in the same time creating some kind of scary united voice.
"I'll never understand you guys."
"No, usually were pretty normal but Amelia is ruining our look."
"Wow, brother." Amelia grabbed still hot cracker and bit on it. "Thanks."
"No problem. Anytime." He smiled fakely. "Are those any good?"
"A bit too salty if you ask me."She bit on it once again. "But I know you like salty and so do Hanna and Alice."
"Perfect then." Lucas smiled and stepped away from the counter. "I'll go and take a shower now. "
"Don't choke on water."Amelia yelled after him.
"Makes you sound like you want it." Julian whispered and Amelia put a finger over her lips as if she was shushing him.
"It will be our little secret." He only shook his head and took as seat next to her, taking the unfinished cracker from her hand and finishing it.
"It's good."
"Still kind of salty."
"I like it." Julian shrugged his shoulders as Leon entered the kitchen with red balloon in his hands.
"I knew I smelled food." Leon chuckled and grabbed one of the many crackers that were placed on a white round plate.
"Watch it. It's salty." Amelia warned with her finger pointing the cracker in Leon's hand.
"Oh shut up. You're salty." Julian teased her, earning the not so gentle punch in the ribs. Julian let our a groan after the painful contact that her hand made with his upper part of body.
"Or not."
"I like salty things." Leon said.
"Sooo, you like Hanna also? " Amelia pressed Leon's buttons with smirk on her face.
"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're very hilarious Amelia."
"I try." She giggled.
"But Ame " Leon started. "Lucas told me that Jule stayed the night."
"And?" She questioned rising her eyebrows.
"Did you get it on?" Julian fell from his chair when he heard such straightforward words leave his mouth. Amelia in the other hand kept still and unimpressed by the question of Leon.
"Well, Mr.Pervert did imply few things." Amelia said in mocking tone. "Verbally tho."
"Ohh, is that so?" Leon wiggled his eyebrows in suggestive way towards the Julian who would have punched Amelia if he didn't love her and if she was a guy.
"Ame-" Julian was cut of by Amelia quoting him.
"In a different circumstances I wouldn't mind the sweat but this is just outrageous...Were your words, Draxler."
"Ohh, Jule, you're Draxler now."
"That's what she said last night."
"You pervert." Amelia threw a slipper on Julian who caught it with ease and winked at her. She only threw him one her dirty looks that matched up to glare of the very devil.
"Ohh, you're not so innocent Amelia." Amelia just looked at him not saying anything at first af if she was trying to find some right words, yet she was only keeping her mouth shut to spare him from nasty roast she could have put him trough.
"Oh right, Goretzka." She hummed. "At least I can get some."
"So you did get it on."
"Oh my god you're an idiot." She face palmed as Julian tapped her backs while laughing. "Of course we didn't."
"Riiiiight." Leon nodded his head, his voice full of almost venomous sarcasm.
"I'll get it on with Jule, when you get it on with Hanna."
"You will?" Julian asked
"Of course not."
"Don't get man's hopes hight." Leon laughed barely keeping some composure over it.
"Ohh yeah, the men fragile ego can't take it."
"I honesty feel so attacked right now."
"Oh you guys, today you're all being drama queens." She rolled her eyes.
"I don't know about you, but you don't see us punching the walls." Leon sassed back high fiving Julian as they laughed.
"You're lucky I'm not punching you."
"Ohhhh, scary." Leon mocked back.
"Why am I friends with you two?" She asked again.
"Because you love us." Julian half singed the sentence she just couldn't deny. Towards Leon, Amelia felt the brother-sister love just like she had with Lucas. Totally sibling like and nothing more. But Julian. Now that guy was able to spin her mind all at once and suddenly leave it for long leaving her thoughts roam without the order. As if he was the storm in her mind making a huge mess in that complicated and complex mind of hers.
"True." She giggled. "Jule, aren't you supposed to go pick up Hanna and Alice."
"Oh shit." Julian's hand flew to his forehead and did the loud smack as he grabbed his car keys. "I totally forgot."
"I totally see that."
"I totally second what Amelia said."Leon popped in the conversation making the two shake their heads.
"I totally can't stand you two now." Julian joked. "Hanna will send you guys a message when we're near."
"Nice to know." Amelia nodded her head and yelled after Julian before he managed to leave the apartment. "Be careful."
"Why?"
"Just the bad gut feeling I'm having." Now it was usually Hanna who was having bad feelings and what not. More likely said, Hanna was the one with great gut feeling for things that saved her more times than she could actually remember.
"Maybe it's the 'salty' cracker." Julian smiled with his smile, slightly easing the forming tension in Amelia.
"Yeah, probably."
***
Julian's attention was caught by the tall brunette named Alice. Her hand straight in the air waving unnecessarily fast, trying to get his attention in the sea of people. As said, she succeeded. Hanna didn't even try, knowing that with her height she wouldn't be able to do much than get tired from all the silly waving.
He somehow managed to push trough the insanely big number of people and walk over the two females he hasn't seen in a long time. The last time ha saw Alice was in Frankfurt, when they visited the Becks. Back then she was pretty much devastated but today on her face was displayed huge smile. If she didn't have ears her smile would go all around her head.
Hanna, Julian kind of expected it, had somewhat grumpy face settled there. He guessed she didn't have much sleep night before and he thought about teasing her, but the unsaid words decided to stay unsaid till further. Julian smiled widely as he greeted the two, and hugged them both, trying not to break them like Amelia would with her bone crushing hugs.
"I'm happy that I got to see you, but where is my sister?" Alice asked as they tried to push trough the crowd made of sweaty bodies due the summer heat.
"She had some emergency papers to do so she asked me to pick you up." Julian lied, praying to God that it sounded convincing enough to satisfy Alice's curious side.
"Emergency papers?"
"It's beyond me." Julian put his hands up, unfortunately some guy managed to elbow his gut not so gently. Julian ignored it even if it hurt knowing that the man didn't do it on purpose. Yet few profanities managed to escape his lips quietly.
"There are so many people here, my god." Hanna said when they finally left the building and stepped out on the sun that seemed to be roasting everything out there.
"It's the season, kind of understandable." Julian shrugged it off. "Hanna what is up with that grumpy face?"
"She's been complaining about her bad feeling in the gut since last night." Alice said and Julian's eyebrows raised quickly.
"She too?"
"What do you mean 'she too' ?" Hanna asked, helping Julian with their things.
"Amelia complained about having a bad feeling before I came to pick you up."
"Some kind of virus then? Stomach flu?" Alice asked as they entered Julian's car. She gently closed the doors and put her seat belt on, watching Hanna and Julian get in the front two seats.
"No, no. I swear." Hanna said with her finger going right and left while she put her seat belt on. "This ain't a stomachache."
"Yeah, well, I'm not a medicine student. So don't ask me." Julian started the car, which turned on smoothly. Slowly stepping on the gas pedal, car started moving and they were on the way to the Amelia's and Hanna's apartment.
The music was playing softly in the background, no one said anything and no one felt the need to do so. The three of them enjoyed the sweet melodic sounds coming from the car's speakers. Julian was concentrated on the road which was understandable since he was the one driving the fancy and expensive car. Alice was minding her own business probably playing some random game on her phone or listening the music. Nether of the two on the front actually turned around to see what she had been doing. And Hanna kept her head leaned on the glass window, ejoying the cooling that was car providing her. It was definitely different from the summer heat out side of the car. The heat Hanna just couldn't bare to think about. Even so, she wasn't much thinking about it thanks to the certain 6'2 tall male that had caught her eye. Unfortunately. Hanna was sure that what she felt was small kind of attraction towards him, but was she wrong. During the period she spent in her hometown, she noticed that she missed him much more than she was supposed to. Even if she wasn't supposed to miss him at all. She was also sure that her head or her heart was playing tricks on her. One moment she was so sure that she was in love, next moment she wanted to rip his head off in the most painful way existing.
It was nice to be back to the city that felt like real home to Hanna. She wasn't gone for so long but she did miss having her own space with silly 5'10 girl giant destroying her privacy and teasing her every day, whole day. Hanna wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe not everyday was her day but her life was good. She had her best friend with herself. Her studies were going great and the club she as intershipping in wanted her after the collage. She worked with Die Mannschaft and she met lifetime worthy friends. She definitely loved her life at the moment.
It was the truth that Hanna was thinking about all the beautiful moments she lived trough in her life, but the uneasy feeling that seemed to be stabbing her gut just wouldn't let her alone. It was alsmost ripping her apart making it feel like she was put under bad torture. She felt like throwing up. The mixture between nervousness and anxiety was like the kick in the chest, making it hard to breathe. Only few times Hanna had a bad feeling like that, and it was long time ago, so having it during that moment almost felt like there was something beyond and bigger than them awaiting. Surely she didn't want anything like that to be waiting for them because if it was any good, she wouldn't have been feeling like that. Completely restless.
Julian made a stop at the traffic light, his finger slowly tapping the wheel in the rythm of the happy-go-lucky music. He was humming the tune too and no one minded that because simply put, no one payed attention to male. Maybe Hanna did, but she had gotten used to Amelia's horrible singing, the humming didn't affect her at all. Hanna shifted in her seat and looked in front of herself, staring at the passing cars at the crossing.
The traffic lights turned green and Julian stepped on the gas pedal again making the car move forwards to the destination he was headed. Unfortunately, the car didn't manage to go much further when the loud bang was heard. Another car crashed into the side where Hanna and Alice where, sending the glass pieces all over them and knocking them out instantly. Julian felt every single thing. From the powerful hit his car took, to the hit his head did against the window on his left side and the feeling like he was being kicked in his sides as they crashed.
It happened so fast, his mind couldn't even process it rightly. One second he was humming the song and the next one, the song was interrupted by the other car crashing into them. Julian's vision changed drastically. Unlike few moments ago, now it was all blurry as the blood dripped slowly from his forehead. The glass was everywhere and he felt huge pain in his neck and upper part of backs. Looking to his right he saw Hanna covered in cuts and blood that was literally pouring out of her. Her eyelids closed and her body hanging to the left side but not completely due the seat belt holding her. Unfortunately, he couldn't turn around to see what happened to Alive, he didn't have the strength to do so as he started loosing his ability to keep his eyes open. He fought for that right but the battle was almost one sided.
He could feel himself dozing off slowly to the sound of sirens furiously ringing in the distance. To the screams of people and the doors of his car being opened, on Hanna's side ripped apart. The sense of time was nothing more than a mere stranger to him as he didn't know how many minutes he had sat there listening to his shallow breathing trying to wake Hanna up. Julian's ability to speak, gone, he felt disoriented and lost in space. His limbs heavy as the biggest burdens out there and the concept of Hanna's and Amelia's bad feeling finally kicking him harder than that strange car crashed into them.
Julian's already bad vision caught the glance of Hanna being pulled out the medics screaming all around them. Alice was way to out of his line of sight, he couldn't even find her. He felt his body being pulled out, due the weakness he couldn't even move an inch. All strength was being used to staying awake, staying there trying to somewhat realize and process what had happened on that day. No access to that was allowed. His brain was struggling to keep all his organs working trying too keep him alive, but Julian could feel himself drifting slowly, slowly. Painfully slow to the welcoming darkness. Once filled mind with the memories of the woman he loved, all the memories he lived trough gone blank as he finally gave in to the darkness.
***
Amelia ran into the hospital, hoping it was all some sick joke, praying to God that nothing happened. Hoping and gripping to the idea of them being safe and sound. The moment she had received the call made her knees shake, and the air stop running trough her system. Her body was still shaking, her breaths were quick and shallow and her eyes were wide as ever. All the color from her face had drained away and the sharp pain went trough her stomach thanks to the shock she was put trough.
Amelia was walking fast, even Leon and Lucas had trouble keeping up with her. Neither of them two reacted any easier than her because after all they were a close bunch. Yet, Amelia's reaction was the worst. The tightness in her chest was holding it's grip on her making sure that the air supply was as low as it could be. Her eyes simply refused to produce the salty tears and her bloodstream going nuts even if her face was drained out of color.
Receiving the call, watching the news and actually getting familliar with such information made sure to kick her. And kick her hard as it could. The lump in her throat that had formed still sat there crushing her piece by piece as if it was trying to destroy her from the root. Burn her, crush her, completely destroy her. End her.
Amelia was desperately searching for the answers, desperately wanting to know what happened. The person that put them in that current position. Amelia wanted to know who was the responsible one for the pain of her loved ones. Her own sister, her best friend and the man she loved with her whole heart. The thought of losing one of them was scary as it is, and the huge possibility of losing them all at once was unimaginably painful.
"Miss." The female voice called out for the Amelia who jumped and turned around to see small woman dressed in blue. The blue uniform covered in blood. Amelia's eyes slowly eyed her as she approached the woman. "Is your name Amelia Beck."
"It-it is." Amelia shuttered, her voice sore and on vredge of breaking.
"Would you please sit down?" Woman said kindly, simpathy shown fully. "Before I tell you this."
"Please?" Amelia almost begged as she let her body rest in the one of the chairs. Woman took the chair and sat on the opposite side of her, taking Amelia's hands squeezing them tightly.
"Julian Draxler, your friend, he's okay." She stopped for a second. "He had some minor injuries and he's already resting in the room 200...as for the other two."
"Hanna and Alice? What happened?"
"Alice is critical, but she'll survive. She had head injuries, broken hand and leg and light internal bleeding." The breath in Amelia's throat hitched as woman spoke trying to bring the information slowly and as less painfully as possible "Hanna. They are fighting for her life. She suffered head injuries. Broken arm and leg, broken ribs that managed to rip some of the her right lung wing, glass stuck some parts of her body. Overall she probably won't make it trough the night."
"W-what?" Amelia's voice trembled. "You're lying. This is some sick joke."
"I'm sorry honey. I trully am."
"Please don't do this to me." Amelia begged her, her voice breaking fully, tears finally falling down on her pale face.
"I'm trully sorry. We're doing everything we can to save her." The woman whipped some of the tears from Amelia's face. "Listen, sweetheart. You can go and see your friend. He should wake up soon and he will look for answers. Try to be there for him. Okay?"
"I.."
"Don't worry." The woman promised. "We won't stop until your family is stabilazed."
"I-I have a question." Amelia looked at her and woman nodded her head slightly, ready to answer any question. "The person who crashed into them, how is it? "
"The person sitting in the driving seat died on the spot, and other is critical just as Hanna."
"Hey, Amelia, don't run like that again." Leon breathed out as he came the the two females, Lucas hot on his trail. The face expressions cleared up everything to him and he knew that nothing was fine. In fact he knew it is probably something that will break him fully as soon as he hears the news. Leon was aware that he had a obligation as a friend to be there for Beck siblings that were currently falling apart. He was too. At the thought of Hanna being hurt, dying. He was falling apart too and just the though of it made his heath ache like no other.
The white walls made Amelia sick in her stomach. The scent of the sterilization products gave her the unpleasant feeling in her stomach. She felt like she was about to throw up the only cracker she had ate that day. Number 200 was staring back at her almost mocking her and her current mental state. She was not ready to open the doors. She was not ready to see him beaten, injured and weak. She had no strength knowing that she'll start crying again. The man she loved and breathed for was lying in hospital injured, she knew he was fine but yet again she was falling apart. In pieces only him managed to mend back again. Those pieces turned into dust.
Stepping over her own pain, and despair, Amelia opened the door and saw sleeping Julian with gase on his head and over his left hand. There were scratches and bruises all over him, but his breaths seemed so calm and steady. Like he was in peace. She knew better, she knew that he was in the pain and Amelia felt helpless. She just didn't don't what to do.
Amelia knew he was always there for her and yet she was sick of seeing him hurt all the time. The first encounter with this chain was when they first became friends. Then it happened in Paris once again, and now he was beaten completely. Amelia started grasping everything that he had told her about watching her apart. While he watched her fall apart mentally, she watched him fall apart physically.
She walked over to his bed and pulled the chair next to it, taking the seat in the most uncomfortable chair ever. Amelia could care less that her ankles were hurting or that she was having a pounding headache ripping away her patience. Amelia cared about the three people so close to her right now. Shock overflowed her body, leaving her mouth immobile not giving her permission to speak or just react to things normally.
The image of Julian in this condition carved in her mind, leaving the impact of huge matter. The denial was long gone as he sleeping in front of her the beeping sound in the background making sure that there is no complete silence in the room.
Her shaky hand touched his, which was still warm like they usually were. Slowly breathing out she stared at his hand with few small cuts on them and she traced every single on of them. Nothing could calm her down now. Her heartbeat rapid and fast, her breaths shallow as she fought to keep her sobs from going out of control. The tears were filling her eyes without falling down her face.
She was also angry, furious in fact. Amelia couldn't shake off the guilt she felt. Amelia was supposed to be in that car, not him. She was supposed to be laying there instead of him. Even so, that didn't change the fact two of other people couldn't been saved. They were doomed to live this trough.
Just from the other side of the doors, Leon was walking in circles while Lucas was sitting in the chair trying to warp his mind around many things. Leon, who was on edge, called Hanna's parents and informed them of the current, unfortunate, situation. Lucas called his parents to find out they won't be coming. They decided Alice was not worth enough and that was what hurt him the most. His own sister, fighting for her life and yet his parents managed to find her unimportant. Irrelevant for that matter.
Leon was surely going nuts. From the two Becks that were purely in bliss and shock to the other three people being hurt badly. Either way he felt like crying, punching something or shouting all at once. Everything that he knew and found good was crumbling under his feet and the thought of falling under some kind of eternal sleep was not so bad.
Leon couldn't erase the images out of his head. He could erase the images of Hanna being pulled out of that car, or any of them. He couldn't erase the image of shocked Amelia out of his head no matter how he tried. Leon wished that he could erase every information that he knew, but he couldn't. Devastation this big had never accrued to him, never overwhelmed him and never managed to grip so hard on his heart. Wishing he had told Hanna that he was in love with her made him cringe. Not because it was a bad thing. It was because there was a chance of not hearing it at all. And it scared him. It scared him the thought of moving on from the woman that died not knowing how deep his love was. It scared him the thought of her not living the life full of happiness and joy.
Helpless, everyone felt helpless for hours. Amelia, Lucas and Leon. The three of them totally and utterly sick with worries. Just like stones on their chest and they couldn't breathe properly. From Amelia's panic attacks, to Lucas yelling and snapping at single thing and Leon who tried not to end up as two of them.
Everyone waited for Julian to wake up, knowing that Alice and Hanna are still laying in the operation room under the supervision of the doctors. Their only stray of hope was Julian waking up and telling them what exactly happened. That actually wasn't even important. The most important thing was that he's okay just like they hoped that Alice and Hanna are.
Hanna's parents practically ran into hospital. Seeing three of the young people sitting outside with hands over their mouth, staring at the floor. The sight was heartbreaking as much as the very waiting of the newest information.
Amelia was the first one to notice the Tuchels running over them but she couldn't get up. Her legs gave up on her as her ears picked up the information she really didn't want to hear.
"We're losing them!" The doctors yelled as they fought for their lives, breaking the hearts of the people waiting for them to tell that their family is okay. Surely the people close to the dying ones knew that it's not okay. Everything is not okay.
***
Amelia found herself in Julian's room once again. Twelve hours at the hospital wore her out and the sleep was finally starting to catch up on her. She refused to. Amelia refused to sleep or eat until one of them awakes.
She was sitting on the very edge on the bed staring trough the window of Julian's room. It was dark outside you couldn't see much, either way it didn't matter. Everything was better than seeing Hanna's mother breakdown and scream and cry in devastation. Everything was better than seeing everyone close to her fall apart slowly and painfully.
The girl wasn't even sure how much she will be able to take. How many times will she be knocked down with huge expectations to get up once again. Amelia was sure that she wasn't as strong as she used to be. She was sure that somehow life had a grudge on her with intention to destroy her and everyone she cared about. To literally kill them of and erase them from her life, but not her memory leaving her to suffer and hurt.
Her left hand was pressed over her mouth trying to quiet the ugly sobs coming out of her mouth while her right one rested in her lap. The tears poured freely down her face making the pieces of hair stick on it. Not caring for it, she could literally feel something tearing in her chest, hurting just like she was kicked multiple times. The air leaving her lungs forbidding her to breathe normally.
Her head turned around to face sleeping Julian whose breathing was matching the pace when she first came in. Her whole universe, and love laying in pain in front of her eyes. Amelia knew he was fine but did her mind or heart rest at ease? Of course not.
Thinking of the all times he helped her trough, been there for her and refused to give up on her made it harder. Made it much more complicated to let him go like she desperately wanted. Right now, she was supposed to be professional and be okay. Feel sympathy for the poor guy that was in accident and not cry the rivers of tears.
She was a mess. Her hair all over the place, her face pale and her eyes bloodshot red. The bags under her eyes made her look more sleep deprived than she really was and the shock was slowly leaving her body giving her a chance to finally process everything normally and as painfully possible. Amelia desperately wanted him to wake up because the very waiting just kept kicking the air out of her lungs making her think that she will soon to out of her mind.
"Please wake up." She whispered tough another sob she didn't manage to overpower. Her left hand, still cold like always, gently cupping his face. Her eyes quickly shutting close, not being able to take the wave of tears pouring out.
Knowing that he won't be waking for some time, she whipped the tear stained face and held back ghe urge to cry. If he was to wake up anytime soon, she refused to let him know she as hurting, because he was more important to her than herself. Amelia had no idea how was she supposed to bring information about Hanna and Alice to him knowing that he will surely blame himself for not being more careful and she couldn't bare it.
Just like that, like the god somehow heard her prayers and decided to put her out of her misery, Julian started moving his hands. Amelia caught the sight of his fingers twitching and moving slowly. His eyelids slowly opened, as his eyes tried to adjust to the dimmed light in the room. Pounding headache drumming in his head making him groan as soon as his mind started being aware of the things.
It didn't take him long to notice Amelia sitting next to him and waiting for him to wake up. It didn't take him long to see she was weak, tired and probably stressed out to no end. Julian felt the pain in several places of his body as he tried to move, being immediately stopped by the female he loved. His memory slowly replaying all the scenes that happened just before he felt in rather long slumber.
"Oh. Ouch." He groaned once again feeling the pain shot trough his body and head, like the car hit him. Which was ironic because he was for a fact in a car accident.
"Hey, easy there tiger." Amelia said, her voice cracked like it as dry when she was just keeping the tears from falling down.
"How long was I out."
"Over 12 hours." Amelia answered honestly feeling some sense of relief in rest in her.
"And Hanna and Alice." Julian spoke, Amelia's eyes slightly going wide. "How are they?"
"Uhh." Amelia almost cursed under her breath. "They are still in the operation room"
"How badly are they hurt?" Amelia watched him, his eyes matching her ones when it came to despair and sadness in them. Most of all all she had seen guilt. Intense and huge amount of guilt.
"Pretty bad." She whispered not wanting to look him in the eyes. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I gave been hit by a car." He somewhat joked causing Amelia to chuckle at the irony of his.
"It's because you were." She pointed out. "Not directly tho."
"Amelia." Julian used her fully name, his voice serious, slightly weak. "Can you please tell me what happened to Hanna and Alice?"
"The last thing I heard from doctors was that-"her voice trembled. "That they are losing them."
"I'm sorry." He spoke, the weakness of his voice matching hers.
"Please don't be sorry. It was not your fault."
"It feels like it was." He managed to sit up even if Amelia tried to pin him down on bed once again.
"Jule." Her hand gently cupped his face once again. "It was not your fault. You didn't crash into anyone. They crashed into you."
"But-"
"There is no buts."
"Hanna and Alice are dying." Julian spoke. "You expect me to be okay?"
"No." She said. "I don't expect you to be okay. I expect you to not feel guilty over something it was not your fault."
"Your sister is dying." Julian said. "How are you eve- how are you being so calm?"
"I had my fine share of panic attacks and crying hours ago, there is no more tears to cry." She chucked dryly and sarcastically. "Now please lay down."
"I can't, my backs hurt." He whispered not feeling alright with everything she had told him. He knew she was lying when she said there were no tears left to cry. Her eyes were teary and dull and her face was still puffy from all the crying. His head leaned on her shoulder which she accepted with no saying. Her left hand went trough his hair trying to calm him down a little but she knew he won't be able to. Hanna was his friend, Alice was probably like the younger sister he would have given anything to protect. Both of them were dying and he was physically fine.
Amelia felt something wet dripping on her shoulder, but she didn't have to look to know he started crying. She couldn't have blamed him even if she wanted to. Despite all the sadness she felt, she couldn't have imagined how he felt. She would have hugged him, but she kept her composure due his backs that were hurting him. She only doubted that anything could hurt him as much as his heart.
She kissed his temple, trying to calm him down, help him somehow even tho she had no idea how to help him. Mentally beaten Julian was practically a stranger to her. Julian who was always smiling and willing to help anyone was in a need of help and she didn't know what to do, how to react and how to make her loved one feel better. Saying that it's okay won't make it okay. Saying that they will survive when they don't even know if they will. Everything was out of place right now and she didn't know how to sort it out.
Both of them could hear the sobbing of Hanna's mother outside of the room, yelling of angry Lucas that probably was talking to his parents. Leon who was calming them down. It made Julian feel worse. True, he knew he couldn't have done anything but the burning passionate guilt was eating him away.
"I wish I was in their place." Julian whispered, making Amelia's tense up and freeze. Julian felt it, yet he didn't react to it. Her left hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him away so she could look him in the eyes.
"Don't you ever say that again. Ever." Her face showed clear signs of hurt and anger. "I don't want to heat it ever again."
"It doesn't change anything."
"Shut up." She said quickly. "You being in their place isn't changing anything. Everyone would feel the same."
"It would be so much easier." At that moment Amelia almost slapped it across his whole face while battling with the urge to cry.
"No it wouldn't." She caught him of guard. "It wouldn't make anything easier. You stupid dumb idiot, seeing you like this feels like hell so shut the hell up."
"C'mon, your sister and your best friend are more important."
"That doesn't make you any less important to me. Okay." She said, few tears falling down finally. "You're...more important to me than you think, and I will aways worry."
"Amelia." He was out of words. "I-"
"I know." She smiled gently. "You're sorry, I know. But don't be, okay." She kissed the part of forehead that was not in gase. "I'll always be there."
"You somehow always are." He spoke after she helped him get comfortable so his back doesn't hurt as much. Neither of them said anything to each other trying to block things out coming from the outside. She wanted to let others know that he's awake but he refused to let her go, he refused to be alone without her there to keep him from falling apart. Funny thing about this all was him thinking of her seconds before closing his eyes, and seeing her there the soon as he opened them. She was always there. When he got inured in Paris, she kept him awake, watched over him until he woke up. Took care of his injuries like it wasn't his job. Julian didn't know if she knew, but she has done more things for him than he could ever do for her and just by loving her, he was already whole and complete. She made him happy just by breathing and she was one of the most beautiful things in the world, that kept him safe and sound.
A/N: okay, this was supposed to be posted and finished last night but I ended up following the news about Paris and the bombings. I hope everyone that is from there and readng this okay and safe. I am praying for you all and for your safety. Please stay safe and I love you all.
Like always, sorry if I missed some mistakes while editing this and I wanted to thank you for wonderful comments and your votes. You guys made me really happy. I hope you like it and #PRAYFORPARIS.