Emo Angel... Save Me!
Entry 4
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Monday 19th April 2013
I've been thinking, I want to do something with my life. I think about it a lot but never this much. Three options came to mind; stop being an EMO, that wasn't ever going to happen, there was ask my mum to kick me out and let me get fostered, it's not as if she or dad cares anyway. Then there's the thing that has been going through my mind for a while.
Suicide..
I mean it's common for EMO's to cut but suicide? Right?
I sat on my bathroom floor today with a razor blade in my hand. I just kept thinking if there was something worth living for? There's not many reasons:
My mother hates me.
My father hates me.
My brother couldn't care less.
I'm bullied every day at school due to my EMO looks, quiet voice and bony figure.
All of those things could have been turned into 'My mother loves me, My father loves me, My bother is my world, People at school don't bother me' If only those things could be true but hey, step into reality once you idiots!
So, anyway, I was sitting there and I cut my wrist zig-zags, circles, lines and casual cutting across the wrist. I didn't cut upwards, i still have a life! But it's a life that's not going to get me any where.
I finally came to my senses though, I bandaged my arm up, moped the floor and left it at that. I had tons of homework to give in tomorrow, I personally think that my teacher Mrs Flint purposefully gives me extra because she not only 'dis-likes' me she hates me!
Not forgetting school today, it sucked! Nothing exactly changed! Pushed, shoved, ate in the library and was given every possible beating. Today though, the beating was worse. All the football players kicked the crap out of me! I couldn't exactly take 1 of me to 8 of them, could I now?
So I better do that then, aye? What ever, I'll write more tomorrow when I can.