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[ J A X ' S P O V ]
The car ride back home is silent.
Blaire takes her place in the front seat, her arms cocooning her brother, who's vast asleep. His head is on her shoulder and his mouth is pressed into a thin line, a dash of drool running down the edge of his mouth. Blaire notices this and smiles a little, taking the sleeve of her shirt and wiping it off his chin.
Even though I'm driving, I can't help but constantly look at her, trying to figure out what is going on in that mind of hers, especially after what I just told her not less than an hour ago. Even though I know she told me that she'll be here for me, I'm still worried. Worried about what she might think of me now that she knows some of the bad things I've done.
I don't know what I was thinking when I told her. Maybe I just wanted to comfort her. She's been so upset about Ben and I just wanted to let her know that I've done worse. A hell lot worse.
I peek another glance at Blaire and I catch her staring at me too. I don't know what else to do so I hold her gaze, pursing my lips as I grip the steering wheel harder. She looks down slightly, her dark hair falling over her face, as she strokes her brother's back, but her eyes never leave me. She just watches me from the corner of her eye.
Although I have told her about what happened a few months ago, I'm a little ashamed to admit that I haven't exactly told her everything yet. I didn't mention about the nightmares I've been having about Sienna that have been plaguing me ever since I came to LA.
I guess I'm scared that if I do, she might think that I'm insane. Besides, a little part of me thinks that the nightmares will go away soon enough. Hopefully it does so I would spare myself the embarrassment of telling Blaire.
"We're here," I announce, pulling over the mansion. Blaire nods and I help her out of the car. She cradles Eden in her petite arms, and I'm almost afraid that she might break them. But then again, I remember that I should not underestimate her strength to I help her with her other stuff as she carries him inside the mansion.
"Guest room?" I ask.
"Yeah." She nods and I lead her there. She places him on the bed gently and I quickly grab some pillows and some sheets. I place them on the bed, arranging them so Eden has a good sleep. Blaire unrolls the sheets and covers Eden up with them.
After a while, Blaire lets out a small sigh and then turns off the light, then heads out of the guest room.
"You sure he'll be alright there? You don't want him to sleep with you?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest.
She nods. "Eden will be fine. He loves me, but he keeps telling me that he needs his space. He's growing up—he wouldn't want to be caught dead sharing a bed with his sister."
That makes me grin. "Eden's really something, isn't he?"
"Yeah, he is." She says, her eyes gazing at the guest room.
She clears her throat, and an uncomfortable silence stretches, falling upon the both of us like a blanket. It's weird because this has never happened between us before.
"Right," I drawl, the grin receding just as fast as it came. "I take it as my cue to leave-"
"Wait." I feel her hand clamp down on my wrist. I turn around and met her grey eyes. Such a beautiful shade, especially under the night light. "I'm—I'm not tired. I don't want to go to sleep just yet. Do... you want to keep me company?"
Her voice sounds so small, and it's the first time I'm hearing uncertainty in her voice. Usually everything that comes out from her mouth is thought out and planned. But what she said just now sounded like it wasn't . Hell, even she seems surprised by what she's asking of me.
"Yeah. Sure." I try not to sound happy about it, but the smile on my face spoils my bluff.
I follow her to the living room and she turns her head to look back at me again, those serene grey eyes trained at me like she's staring into the fucking depths of my soul. I narrow my eyes in confusion and she quickly looks away, her feet dragging herself to the kitchen. "You want something to eat? A sandwich?"
I eye her warily. "Are you offering to make me one or are you going to make me make you one?"
She laughs. "I'm really offering, Jackson. Nutella and peanut butter, right?"
"You know me so well."
She smiles, then gets to work. I've never seen this side of her before—this nice side. It's so weird not seeing her hold herself up like she's afraid of letting people near her.
But now, it's like she wants me near her.
And I like that a lot.
She fixes us both sandwiches and walks over to the sofa with both our plates. I pop open a bottle of wine and pour the both of us two glasses. Let's face it—after the shit that we've told each other tonight, we need to get drunk to get through another conversation together.
"Here," she hands me the plate just as I place both glasses of wine on the coffee table. She wraps herself in a comforter and scoots nearer to me, our eyes locked with each other.
Blaire is the first one to break the silence.
"Do you know why I steal, Jackson?" She asks and I shake my head no. "I steal because of Eden."
I say absolutely nothing.
"I mean—it wasn't always like that," she says, sighing. "My dad—like I said just now—he had gambling problems and he wasted all our savings away. And then he and my mom died, which made things really bad for us. Both Eden and I ended up being absorbed into the foster care system. I was there for less than a month until I turned eighteen." She paused briefly, then continues. "I was going to take him out of the home with me but a couple had already adopted him. I was left with no one—no mom, no dad and no brother. I was alone in the world and it hurt. A lot."
"Blaire—" I start off. "You don't have to tell me—"
She shakes her head. "No, I want to."
She takes a sip of her wine, then places it back on the coffee table and her shy eyes meet mine again.
"So I was on the streets and the only thing I could do to survive was steal. I finally realized that I had to take to get what I want. There was no other way," she tells me, her face expressionless. "It was petty theft. All the stuff that I used to do. Nothing much. But last few weeks—I don't know. I guess it took a toll on me. The fact that Eden was slipping further and further away from my grasp and if I didn't do something about it soon, I was going to lose him."
"So you want to fight for custody," I whisper, finally gathering the final pieces of the missing puzzle together.
She nods. "Yeah. I do. I'm legal now and he's my brother. He should be with me. I don't want to have to settle just seeing him on the weekends. I don't want to have to miss him everyday because he's not with me. I don't want to have to count down how much time I have with him left. I want everyday with him, every minute, every second. I want to build a life for the both of us—together."
"So the money you steal—it's for a lawyer, then?" I ask.
"Yeah," she croaks out. "I know this guy that can help me. I just—I just need more money to convince him to take my case," she tells me. "I know—I know you're going to tell me that stealing is wrong and that I can go to jail but-"
"I'm not going to tell you that." I shake my head. "Because even if I do, it wouldn't stop you from doing it. I know that because I'm exactly like you. When I made up my mind about something, it's pretty fucking difficult to change my mind." I tell her. "So no. I'm not going to be the one to tell you that stealing is wrong. Not when I've done much worse than that."
She smiles a little, but the smile disappears just as quickly as it arrived. She leans her head against the sofa, her cheek pressing against it, but she doesn't stop looking at me. "I've never told anyone about this. Except Ben because I need him to help me with it. But I've never told anyone else because I'm afraid that people will judge me. I've gotten a lot of that when my parents died—I don't need it again," she whispers.
"I'm not judging you, Blaire," I murmur. "Sometimes, we gotta do what we have to do, you know?"
She can only nod.
"So yeah," she says. "That's the story. I steal money to get custody of my brother."
"And I'm a cheater," I say. "A fucking cheater."
"We're insane, Jackson." She laughs. "Absolutely insane."
"Hey," I touch her cheek with my hand, my fingers sliding between the strands of her hair. "The world would be fucking boring if everyone was sane, don't you think so?"
"That's true." She laughs.
"Thank you for telling me, Blaire." I nod. "No really, thank you. I've never had someone open up to me before. It's... oddly nice."
"Yeah," she says, "I know it wasn't easy telling me about Sienna. I thought that... you should know that I'm not a good person too."
"Oh, I know you aren't." I tell her. "I think that's why we fit so fucking well together."
She immediately stills beside me.
"What?" I ask. "I told you that you can't stop this. No matter how much you want to. We're it, Blaire. So fucking it."
"Jax..." her voice trails off and I jerk her chin so her eyes can lock with mine.
"There is another reason why you broke things off with Ben, isn't it?" I ask her. "And it's because of me."
She rolls her eyes. "Your ego knows no bounds, Jackson."
"Come on. You know very well it's true." I tell her, a grin forming on my face. "Belle knows it. Ben knows it and I fucking know it too. You're attracted to me, Blaire. And you don't want to admit it to yourself because you're scared. I have no idea why because you know damn well we're so damn perfect for each other."
"I'm not scared." She counters back.
"Oh really?" I fold my arms across my chest, a smirk dancing across my face. "Every time you want to kiss me, you back away. It's like you're fighting against what you feel, Blaire. Why? Why can't you just admit it that you have feelings for me?"
"Oh no. I'm not doing this with you. I'm too sober to have this conversation," Blaire mutters, taking another huge sip of her wine.
"Just admit it already," I say. "You're scared of what you feel for me."
"I'm not scared," she says sharply.
"Riiiight," I say, still grinning.
"I'm not!" She seethes.
"Yeah. Okay."
She growls. "I'm not."
"Fine."
"Fine."
A low chuckle rumbles from my throat at how childish we're both being.
"Don't laugh at me," she says, swatting my arm. "I'm not scared, Jackson. So stop it."
"Okay, I will."
She narrows her eyes at me. "I mean it."
I lift my hands up in surrender. "I swear darling, I'm not doing anything."
"But you're mocking me with your eyes!" She hisses and I laugh even harder.
"You want me to stop?"
"Yes!"
"Then admit that you have feelings for me."
She thinks about it for a while. "No."
"See? You are scared!"
"I'm not—" She makes an annoyed sound. "You know what? I don't know why I even bother with you. I'm so done with this conversation."
"Come on, that's no fun. I'm just getting started!"
She merely rolls her eyes. "Let's call it a night. Help me clean up."
I stare at her for a while and she holds my gaze. "Are you serious?"
She rolls her eyes. "Why? Do you expect the dishes to clean up by themselves?"
I quietly get off the couch. "Fine. I'll help you."
With much reluctance, I help her clean up at the kitchen—she clears the dishes and I place them in the dish washer. The both of us are still staring at each other, but nothing escapes our lips. There's something in the air—something electrifying about no words being said, just our bodies speaking for us.
I don't know if she's doing this on purpose—most probably she is. She always has a hidden agenda in mind–but I think she's teasing me. She's definitely trying to get back at me for teasing her just now about her feelings. And it's definitely working. The way Blaire moves her hips and the way she bats her eyelashes at me is so seductive I'm very much tempted to force all her feelings out in the open so that I can have a taste of her.
When we're finally done in the kitchen, the both of us walk up the stairs, our footsteps heavy and dreaded. Blaire peeks a glance at me and I catch her staring, then smile at her. She rolls her eyes and looks away, heading straight to her room.
"Hey," I call out and she turns around. "Good night, Blaire."
I turn my back on her and shuffle towards my room when I feel a hand clamp down on my wrist. I turn swiftly and come face-to-face with Blaire.
"Wait," she whispers.
"What?"
"I can't believe I'm about to do this." She groans.
"Do what?" I ask.
I hear her swear under her breath. I want to ask her what is happening but I don't even get a single word out because Blaire grabs a fistful of my shirt and captures my lips with hers.
She kisses me firmly, her lips molding greedily with mine. Hands buried in my hair, she takes everything she can get from me. There is nothing light and innocent about this kiss at all. It's wild, greedy and consumed with so
Much.
Lust.
Tongues collide, teeth clash, and mouths devour. Fuck me, but Blaire can kiss good. I've always imagine how her lips would taste like—and the real thing doesn't disappoint. She's sour, sweet, bitter, tangy, hell and heaven all rolled into one.
I tighten my grip on her waist, my hands roaming around her body, my fingers itching to get rid of the flimsy fabric that's preventing us from getting what we both want. She growls softly when my fingers make contact with her skin, her shirt ridden up—all on my account. She takes the opportunity to suck on my bottom lip, then bite it, hard.
The metallic taste of blood coats my lips but I can care less. I'm so fucking delirious from the pleasure of it all—the pleasure of making love to this girl with my lips—that I'll let her do anything she wants to do to me.
Let her.
Let her destroy me.
She already fucking owns me anyway.
I want to take this kiss further—hell, it's pretty damn clear we both want that to happen from the way we're both responding to the kiss—but next thing I know, I feel her pull away from me abruptly and the absence of her body hits me so hard I almost stumble.
"Like I said," she murmurs, breathing hard. She adjusts her shirt, a smirk growing on her face, "I'm not scared."
Then, she turns her heel and walks away from me.
What the fuck.
She has the nerve!
"Oh, and uh," she says, before disappearing into her room, "you might want to do something about that." She points to my growing erection and when I see it, I groan.
Fuck me for letting her get me this hard.
"Good night, Jackson." She smiles, clearly satisfied about her effect on me. Then, just as fast as she came... she's already gone.
I cuss to hell and back, then shamefully look at how hard she made me.
What a fucking tease.
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I couldn't sleep the whole night.
I spent an hour trying to take care of my blue balls, and the rest of the night up in my bed, thinking about that god damned kiss. It's not in my nature to have my thoughts revolving about one stupid kiss but fuck, she left me in such a state of anarchy I'm think I'm about to lose my god damned mind.
No girl has ever kissed me like that and just... left.
They always want more.
And they always come back for more.
It does wonders to my self-esteem. Really.
But god dammit—Blaire. I can't believe she would kiss me like that and leave me... ruined. Absolutely fucking ruined. And I hate it. Because I want so much more from where that came from.
And I'm not sure if she's going to give it to me.
"Oh shit, what happened to your lip?" Eden half-yawns, half-says when he gets out from the guest room. I'm in the kitchen early in the morning because I have nothing else to do since I can't sleep, so I decide to make some sandwiches.
One for me and one for Eden. None for Blaire because she left me with a huge erection that I had to take care of it all by myself.
Bitch.
"I bit it too hard," I say and slide the plate with the sandwich over to Eden, who's still staring at me weirdly.
"That's... weird." He comments. "How can you bite your lip too hard?"
"Don't ask, kid." I snap.
"Well, someone's moody today," he sing-songs. "Where's my sister?"
Probably laughing at my demise.
"Don't know, don't care."
Eden rolls his eyes.
"Just eat your sandwich." I sigh.
"It takes like shit." He slides the plate back to me. "My sister makes better sandwiches."
"Well your sister can suck my-"
"Good morning, everyone!" Blaire says cheerfully, gliding down the stairs in her satin robe. "How are we doing today?"
"Jax is being an ass, " Eden huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Eden, he's always being an ass. You just only saw his true colors today." She kisses her brother on the cheek and her eyes briefly glance at me. I scowl at her and she smiles even wider. "What has gotten into you?" She says innocently. "Are you okay, Jackson? Did something bad happen to you last night?"
Fuck you. Fuck you and your fucking kiss.
"He bit his lip too hard." Eden says nonchalantly.
"Did he now?" She raises her eyebrows, mocking me. I know what she's doing. She's getting back at me for teasing her yesterday.
Payback is such a bitch. But I'm going to make payback my bitch.
"Alright. You caught me." I say, throwing my hands up in surrender. "I kissed someone last night."
Blaire freezes, all the color draining from her face.
Eden's eyes widen. "Whoa. Really?"
"Yeah," I nod, "and she gave me something to remember her by." I point to my bottom lip.
"Are you going to call her?" Eden asks. "The girl who bit your lip?"
I glance briefly at Blaire and shrug. "I don't think so. She wasn't that good of a kisser anyway. Too much tongue."
Eden giggles.
"I'm sure she did a great job considering she gave you that swollen lip." Blaire chimes in, her eyes burning into mine.
I lean over the counter and growl. "I've kissed better."
"I highly doubt you did," she growls back, "and who are you to judge anyway? She probably thought that you sucked shit in kissing too."
"No. She probably thought I was a god."
"Um... Are you guys okay?" Eden eyes the both of us with suspicion.
"Of course!" Blaire and I say at the same time.
We don't talk to each other for the entire day.
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A/N: JAIRE KISSED! YAYYYYYY!
ANYWAYS, Merry Christmas, peeps! That kiss was my gift to you. Although, they kind of backtracked after that, they STILL KISSED SO YAY!
I guess I'm all out of Christmas gifts now. If you got nothing to do during Christmas, I have tons of stuff lined up for you!
Relive KAYNA, CIMON, BREVANS and DALEX moments again by re-reading the Perfect Christmas Short Story on the Mistletoe and Mischief Christmas Anthology here:
https://www.wattpad.com/187843827-mistletoe-and-mischief-a-wattpad-romance-anthology
And also, for those of you who don't know this, Tahlie, Alisha and I have collaborated in a three-part Christmas crossover story called 'A Lacey Christmas' starring Tyler (from Bulletproof), Storm (from Incongruous) and our very own Kayden (from Perfect Addiction)! Please check it out! So far, only TWO parts are out. The last part (from Tyler's POV) will drop tomorrow on the 26th December so watch out for that!
Here's the link to the first two parts of 'A Lacey Christmas':
https://www.wattpad.com/189231632-a-lacey-christmas
See you guys next Friday! I wonder what's gonna happen to JAIRE? hehehehehe. I'm such a little tease. Merry Christmas again and happy holidays! Have fun!
Love, Claudia.