Apparently forcing me to go back to the dance studio wasn't the only thing my parents had in mind.
"Ella, set your alarm," Mom warned me before she disappeared to her room for the night.
"What? Why?" I asked.
She sighed and closed her eyes. "Just do it. You'll see tomorrow."
I obediently set the alarm I used for school and lay in my bed, not actually getting much sleep. I rarely got much sleep anymore. In the morning, I wondered whether I should wear something formal or casual. I settled on an in-the-middle sort of outfit, capris with a nice blue polka-dotted shirt.
"You like nice today," Mimi said, kissing the top of my head.
"Thanks," I mumbled.
Mom sat at the table, typing away on her laptop. She wore a skirt and top, like she usually did for work. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and curled. I sat down across from her.
"Get your breakfast, then we'll be leaving," she said, peering over the laptop. "I took a half day off of work."
"I'm not hungry," I replied.
Mom frowned at me, but closed her laptop. "Alright, then. Let's go."
In the car, I finally asked, "Where are we going?"
"You'll see when we get there!" She said, annoyed.
I crossed my arms thinking, 'Fine, then. I won't bother you anymore.'
I sat in the back seat of the car, in the middle. I was scared to sit by either window, especially the one on my right. This was a new car, but it still reminded me of the car that had been hit. I shuddered at the thought.
She seemed to be taking me into town, where we had often gone to eat. We passed plaza after plaza, until she finally pulled into the lot by a small building. I felt my face go red with anger.
"You brought me to a psychologist!?"
She turned to me, her blue eyes as bright as mine had been. They bored into me with that 'Mom' stare, making me flinch back a bit.
"Ella, listen to me. You are going into that building and doing whatever those people tell you. I don't know what else to do with you. You can't act different like this and expect everyone to sit back and pity you. You won't even talk to me about anything anymore!"
She sat back, hurt in her eyes and I blew out an annoyed breath. I didn't want a stranger interfering with my life! Regardless, I followed my mother into the building, dragging my feet. We sat in a little waiting room-type of thing right outside the door, which was actually just a couple of chairs and nothing else. After a few minutes of tense silence, the door cracked open and a woman stuck her head out.
"Are you Ella Ford?"
I nodded sullenly. The woman stepped out, a smile plastered across her face. She was pretty tall with dark skin and friendly brown eyes.
"Welcome, Ella! Come on in and we'll have a little chat."
We followed her into a bigger area. There was a desk and chair in the corner, but out in the middle were two couches like the ones in my house. Mom and I sat on one and the psychologist sat across from us.
"Hello," she began, "I'm Dr. Jane Meloy, but you can just call me Jane."
"Nice to meet you, Jane," Mom said politely.
I stayed quiet.
"So, I want to get to know you a little bit. But before anything, I want to ask if you ever experience family issues."
Mom and I both shook our heads. I'd never had any problems with my family, since we were all pretty close-knit.
"Alright. Now, Ella. Do you have any siblings?"
"No."
"What are some things you like to do in your free time?"
"Read," I said quietly, "Watch variations on YouTube. Choreograph."
Crap. Somehow dance had found its way into my life again...
"So, you're a dancer?" Jane asked.
"I used to be," I replied bitterly.
"Ella," Mom interjected, "You're still a dancer."
I stared down at the floor and shuffled my feet.
"Okay," Jane said, "So we can work through this!"
She scribbled something on a notepad and looked back up.
"Tell me about why you can't dance."
I raised my eyebrows. "My arm, obviously."
Jane glanced at my limp arm like it was something she saw every day of her life. "Your arm limits you. But it doesn't actually stop you."
I sighed. She didn't understand.
"Aside from that, what is your current state of health?"
"She's pretty healthy," Mom replied. "They were initially concerned about a head injury, but it seems Ella's arm blocked the impact pretty well."
I glanced sharply at her. This was news to me.
The two of them talked about my health a little while longer, then Jane asked my mother to step out for a moment. It was just me and Jane in the room.
"Alright. Now I'd like to ask you how you're feeling."
"I don't know," I replied.
"Angry?" She suggested.
I felt myself nodding, though I wouldn't have admitted it aloud.
"Sad?"
Another nod.
She named feelings that I found myself agreeing to. I wouldn't have thought of a lot of them on my own.
"Relieved?" She finally asked.
I shook my head 'no.'
"Why aren't you relieved?" She asked.
"Um. Well..." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Would you be relieved?"
"Ella, believe it or not, I know what you are going through."
I looked up at her, puzzled. "Do you know why your mother brought you here, instead of anywhere else?"
I shook my head and watched her curiously as she stood up and went over to her desk. She picked up a picture frame and brought it back over. In the picture was Jane, posing with a younger girl. She looked to be about 12 or 13, a miniature version of Jane Meloy. The young girl seemed normal until I looked a little closer.
"Her leg-" I squeaked.
"Yes. This is my daughter, Karina. We found out she had Osteosarcoma when she was 8. She ended up losing one of her legs."
I gaped at Jane. The girl, Karina, had a prosthetic leg in the picture.
"We helped to encourage her when we found out she needed the amputation. That's why I became a therapist in the first place. What people don't get is that the physical aspect of losing a limb, or the use of one in your case, isn't the worst part. It's the mental aspect, the state of mind."
I was still speechless. Something had begun to click in my mind.
"Here," Jane said, holding out a white envelope. "This is a movie that Karina loved, and that kind of helped. Just watch it before our next session."
I took the envelope and felt the corners of my mouth tug into a little smile. "Thanks."
Jane smiled back. "No problem, Ella."
***
Sorry guys, I was sooooo excited about writing the next chapter that I forgot to post this one! :o
Anyhow, as always, I want your thoughts! And if you want to see any dances I put in here to the music, please ask. Because otherwise, I'm not going out of my way to put those videos up.
Vote and comment pleeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!
~HalleBallet
:)