Ethan
To say that my brain was going into meltdown would be an understatement.
Harry was standing in the middle of the room, a pained expression on his face that he was desperately trying to disguise. It was a result from me punching him, accidentally, in the stomach.
But I couldn't even acknowledge the pain in Harry's face. Not now that they were telling me this absolute, utter shit.
A secret mission? A fucking secret mission?
I had a second of doubt in my head at believing them before I knew that they were being honest. I could tell by the way they were talking and I could tell by Harry's face. He couldn't lie for shit – that was evident by his scenes at the graveyard. It was beginning to make sense.
A tiny ounce of concern for Harry and Hugh managed to nudge its way in through the meltdown in my head and that only made me madder. I shouldn't have anything but accusations and hatred towards them for this.
I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time. I had never in my life felt so vulnerable. Well, apart from the day this dickhead drove away and left me here under the apparently false pretences of not loving me anymore.
How could he do it? How could he actually have left me? I knew that I was the more serious one in our relationship, especially when it came to work, but I knew that I could never, ever have left him. Not for anything. The hurt he inflicted on me these past few months wasn't worth a billion dollars and certainly not a measly secret fucking mission.
I watched in awe as Tom was silenced by Harry's fist. I was numb – I could barely even feel the tears flowing down my cheeks now. When had I started crying? Or re-started, I should say. When Harry and Hugh first arrived into the room I had been in the middle of a semi-breakdown.
Harvey and Jennifer could see that I was on the verge of losing it earlier when all the other agents couldn't keep their mouths shut about the return of the 'wanderers' that were Hugh and Harry. Not even Tom could calm me. So Harvey and Jennifer dragged me into their office where I just let everything out.
It had been a relief, to be honest. But now, now that I looked at all of their faces, all I felt was betrayal. Raw, gut-wrenching betrayal. I didn't care for their reasons. I didn't care that they did it to end the saga of Dawson and Michael ruling our lives.
I just didn't care.
"I'm sorry," Harry said hoarsely to me as he walked out the office door, leaving Hugh struggling to keep Tom upright after he was knocked out. In the past I would have smiled proudly at Harry's accomplishment at actually succeeding in knocking someone out. But now, I couldn't even comprehend what was happening.
Tom's father – the man who had threatened to kill me on numerous occasions if Tom didn't end our relationship – was back. He was the reason Tom and I had ended. And even though I didn't love Tom like that anymore, I was still haunted by my eighteen-year-old self – the boy who had to turn into a man very quickly.
How many more people were going to rise from the fucking dead? I was glad for the first time in my life that I had no parents to suddenly resurrect. I had been given up for adoption as a baby and since I could remember I was thrown from foster house to foster house until my eighteenth birthday when I was left to fend for myself.
The only person I truly had back then was Tom. Until his father took that away from us.
There was a tension-riddled silence in the room once Harry and Hugh had left. Tom was lying on the ground with a bruise gathering on his right temple. None of us moved. I think Harvey and Jennifer were afraid to. Afraid of what I would do.
My mind started to clear somewhat and this made the anger all the more blinding. What was I doing? What was I doing here when Harry and Hugh were going on the most important mission of their – our – lives? I couldn't think about what Harry had done to me.
I couldn't think about the fact that I may never forgive him.
I had to think about what was right. And at this moment in time, what was right was saving those idiots when they undoubtedly got into some form of trouble.
I knew Harry too well – when the pressure mounted, he buckled. He needed me by his side, no matter what he said. I needed to see past my unwavering anger towards him, though. It was as if my mind still hadn't registered that he hadn't left me because he had fallen out of love with me. I was battling with two different types of anger towards him. The heartbroken, agonizing anger I had been building up for months and now this new anger – the hot flash of lividness that went through me every time he spoke.
It was becoming more permanent now, though. And a lot stronger.
I stood up suddenly from where I had been leaning against Harvey's desk and stormed towards the door without speaking.
"Ethan, where are –," Harvey started to shout after me.
"Go fuck yourself, Harvey," I snarled, my shoulders tense and fists clenched. I would never forget who was involved in all of this. I wouldn't forget who sat back and watched me wallow in my despair.
I had a murderous look on my face and as I walked through the crowd of people in the living area, I didn't need to push past anyone. They all moved, giving me a pathway to the door with nervous looks on their faces.
I had built up somewhat of a reputation of being terrifying over the months. I doubted they had ever seen me look so furious, and that was saying something.
Harry and Hugh were just about to drive off when I stormed outside, heading straight for their car. I slammed a fist against the roof of the car, halting them. I could see Hugh's eyes widening and I swear he squeaked a little.
Harry instantly jumped from the car, a questioning look in his eye. The fact that he had no shame pissed me off. At least Hugh had the decency to look ashamed.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes hardening as he took in the expression on my face. I knew there was no time for us to argue out here. I knew he didn't want to brush me off, but being the good agent he was, it was what he was going to do.
"I'm coming with you."
"Like hell you are! They could recognise you instantly, Ethan. They could shoot you on the spot!" He ran a shaky hand through his hair in frustration.
"You have made enough decisions that affect my life. I'm making this one. Get into the fucking car, you're losing time," I snapped. I walked to the passenger side and opened it. Hugh peered up at me in confusion.
"Move," I growled.
He instantly jumped out of his seat. "Sorry, Ethan.... sorry..." I knew he was apologising for more than just the seat.
Harry was staring at me from the other side of the car, an unreadable expression on his face. I had been about to ask him what was wrong when I stopped myself. It wasn't my job anymore to make sure Harry was okay. Even though this had all been one big fucked up mission, I couldn't just let him back in again.
It was driving me crazy that he could have just upped and left me so easily.
I looked away from his gaze and sat into the passenger seat, staring straight ahead. Harry still hadn't gotten back into the car. Hugh cleared his throat awkwardly from the backseat. I looked at him through the rear-view mirror and could see he was desperately trying to think of conversation.
He should know better than to even attempt to speak to me now.
After a few seconds I heard Harry curse and he eventually jumped back into the car. He didn't even hesitate as he turned on the ignition and slammed on the accelerator. Hugh gasped and I had to admit, I was even shocked at the speed.
Harry's eyes were unreadable as he sped dangerously down the driveway and barely looked to see if there were any cars coming when moving onto the main road.
"H-harry!" Hugh cried as we came dangerously close to hitting a wall as we swerved around a corner.
"I have to go this fast, Hugh. Otherwise the bad guys will chop our heads off and feed them to the alligators if we're late." Harry was seriously pissed off. And I was guessing it was at me. And that pissed me off.
"Slow the fuck down. You're being reckless," I snapped, not moving my eyes away from the road.
Harry didn't answer and kept going.
When we came close to colliding with an oncoming car, I couldn't help but turn in my seat and glare at him. Hugh was blocking his eyes and praying in the back.
"Do you want to kill us all? Is that it? What the fuck are you doing, Taylor?" I was livid and couldn't stop myself.
"Stop it," he replied instantly.
"Stop what?"
"Talking like that."
I frowned, my head spinning. Who the fuck did he think he was getting pissed off with me? After everything I had been through the past few months, who did he actually think he was? I was so close to punching him. The only thing that was stopping me was that he was behind the driver's seat.
"Talking like what?"
Harry bit his lip, unsure of whether he should continue. "You're reminding me of when I first met you... and I don't..." he sighed, trying to find the appropriate words, "I hate seeing you like that. I didn't think... I didn't think I'd see that side of you ever again..."
His voice faltered towards the end. My jaw had gone slack from disbelief.
"What do you want, Harry? For me to be happy you're back? For me to be happy that you didn't leave me for nearly a year for the reasons I thought? That I might have some hope that you still love me, so I should be grateful? Well thank you so much, bud. Thank you for lying to me. Thanks for all of the betrayal. Thank you for breaking my fucking heart. I hope it was worth it." My voice was as sharp as I could make it.
Tears filled Harry's eyes and he sniffled quietly. I was trying very hard not to let his tears affect me.
I scoffed and turned in my seat when he didn't reply. I had so much more I wanted to say, but this wasn't the right time. I had so many questions – so many accusations. I knew that this field of work was intense and mind-boggling at times, but I had never felt more overwhelmed in my life.
Harry had a hard look on his face. It was making me more agitated.
"I don't know where you get off being pissed off at me," I snapped, unable to bite my tongue. His eyebrow quirked up at this statement.
"I'm not pissed off at you."
"You obviously are. And you have no right to be. You were the one who left me, Taylor. You." We had so many other things to be discussing right now instead of our situation. But it seemed I couldn't let anything other than us enter my mind.
Harry was close to one-hundred and eighty kilometres an hour as we tore down the motorway. Hugh had calmed down marginally and was now just tapping his fingers nervously against his knee.
"I know, Ethan!" he retorted, "Don't you think I know that I'm the one who made the decision? It's not you I'm pissed off at – it's me. I made the decision to go to Australia. I chose to listen to Harvey and Jennifer and not tell you. And now, everything has turned to shit." He stopped talking and just shook his head.
He was genuinely upset and I hesitated before answering. I didn't know what to say. I could hurl insults and accusations at him all I wanted but I doubted I could make him feel any worse.
I bit my tongue against another remark and instead changed the topic. Harry needed to get his head in the game and talking about our relationship was the worst form of distraction.
"What's the plan when we get to the airport?"
Harry's jaw tightened when he realised I wasn't going to answer him. I diverted my eyes back to the road. We weren't too far from the city but we only had another half hour to spare.
"You two are staying in the car – I'm going to the terminal where they normally keep the jet when flying to New York. The guys are expecting me. I take the delivery and meet you back at the car."
"It all seems too easy," I commented.
"Well yeah, I have it pretty figured out. That's why." He seemed offended.
"I think I should go with you," Hugh piped up from the backseat. He leaned forward and looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to back him up. I had caught him a few times staring at me through the rear-view mirror. He could think again if he thought we would be on good terms anytime soon.
"No – you'll just fuck everything up Hugh," Harry grumbled. I knew that he was just trying to protect Hugh and it had nothing to do with his abilities. Which told me that he wasn't all that prepared for what was going to happen. Not if he didn't want Hugh to come with him. This unnerved me.
I told myself I wasn't being overprotective of him – I was doing what any agent would do for their partners. Because that's what we were, professionally speaking. Partners. I couldn't even think about what we were to each other outside of that. It hurt my head too much.
"I'll go with you."
"Fuck off, Ethan. No chance," Harry replied to me instantly.
"You can't tell me what I can and can't do," I said simply.
"Yes I can when I'm the one who's in charge. And I'm telling you that it's too risky for you to be seen with me. They could recognise you. I'm telling you both my best bet is to go solo."
I pondered what he was saying for a few moments before shaking my head. "I'll stay behind you and just make sure that all's okay. We won't be seen together. Hugh, you can drive the getaway car, so to speak."
"I'd love to!" Hugh replied instantly.
"I've said no. Ethan – don't push me on this," Harry warned. I clenched my jaw, glaring at him.
"You don't have a choice. I'm going in with you and that's final. You could need backup." He was being a stubborn asshole.
He sighed in anger. "Ethan, I'm just picking up a fucking bag of weapons – nothing will go wrong!"
"It could."
"Jesus Christ Ethan – I did this fucking stupid shitty mission to keep you safe and to have a future with you. What's the fucking point of it all if you're killed during it because you were being a stubborn dickhead?"
There was a silence and I could feel Hugh dramatically widening his eyes behind me.
"Our future together looks uncertain anyway, whether or not I die. So don't worry about that."
I couldn't have said anything nastier at that moment in time but I was glad I did. I wasn't going to let him think that now that he was back, I would just give in and take him back. I didn't care what his reasons were – he had left me. He had toyed with my emotions, making me feel worthless in the weeks leading up to his 'secret mission'. And once he had left – I had never faced darker times.
I doubted my ability to forgive him. No matter his reasons for taking part in this charade.
"Fine. Come with me, then." His voice was tight and strained – I had hit a nerve. We didn't speak for the remainder of the journey.
Harry's knuckles were tightened around the steering wheel for that entire time, making them almost translucent. I knew he was trying hard not to show his emotions.
The guilt started eating at me then but I bate it away. I needed to stand my ground – his feelings couldn't be a factor for me during this. They just couldn't.
With seven minutes to spare we made it to JFK. We all jumped from the car once we pulled in at the departures parking bay. Hugh took the driver's seat – obviously he knew that he couldn't argue his way past Harry and come with us.
I walked alongside Harry, my eyes peeled. I was there as a backup if anything went wrong – nothing more. I knew I couldn't approach the jet with him, but I at least could watch from afar, gun ready. Even though I was going through a tough time loving him anymore, I would always have his back.
"Okay – so security know we're coming, I assume?" We were walking fast through the busy airport, people with suitcases everywhere. Airports were quite emotional places – everywhere I looked I saw people either looking excited at the journey they were about to embark on, people crying with sadness from bidding farewell to loved ones and others crying happily when welcoming them home.
"Yeah. Palmer once told us in a meeting that most major airports in the world knew to turn a blind eye whenever his name was mentioned. He always calls ahead. Nothing is left to chance," Harry explained.
Fredrick Palmer. I never thought I'd hear his name again. It still gave me goose bumps.
We rushed through the airport, the minutes ticking away too fast. From Harry's urgency it was obvious that this company didn't react well to disappointment and tardiness. It made me wonder what he had been through to get this agitated about them.
No. I couldn't think about that. Not now as we ran through an airport to a jet that held hundreds of thousands worth of illegal weapons. Not when I was so mad at him that I could scream. I couldn't care about Harry – not now.
We reached security with four and a half minutes to spare. Harry boldly brushed past everyone in line, not even apologizing or offering any form of excuse. Nobody even questioned us until we got to the front as to why we were skipping – they were probably all shocked at our lack of shame.
"Oi – those guys skipped! They friggin' skipped!" A short, fat man with bright red cheeks and a straining shirt eyeballed us with sheer uproar in his eyes. His Boston accent was thick as he shouted a charade of insults at us when we ignored him.
"Excuse me, but there is a line gentlemen," the security guy said to us in a tired voice. I eyed Harry. How was he going to get past him? He just looked like a regular guy. I highly doubted he would even flinch when Harry mentioned Palmers name.
"Fredrick Palmer." Harry was so cool and collected as he addressed him. I tried hard not to be impressed and instead kept the same stoic look on my face.
The security guard perked up immediately and stepped out of Harry's way. "I'm so sorry, sir. Go right ahead."
Harry strode past him, seemingly without a word. That was until he stopped, just as I was about to follow him.
"I don't know who this guy is – he just followed me when I skipped the line," Harry said to the guard.
My eyes narrowed. The guard instantly stood in front of me again, blocking my access.
"I'm afraid you're going to have to rejoin the queue, sir. Make sure to have your boarding pass at the ready," the guard eyed my empty hands. I ignored him and glared at Harry.
"Don't you fucking dare take another step," I snapped at him as he turned to walk away. "Harry!" I roared as he disappeared into the crowd, trying to burst past the surprisingly strong security guard.
"Sir, I will be forced to detain you if you do not rejoin the queue," he threatened.
"Yeah – join the queue you jackass!" Boston shouted from behind.
I stopped fighting when I knew it was futile. Harry was lost in a sea of people now, rushing for their flights. I would never find him. It felt like my heart dropped to my stomach when I realised this. He was going alone – he had made yet another decision on my behalf.
I turned around and stormed back through the queue, gaining a lot of insults and swearing in my direction. I didn't care, though.
I was going into meltdown mode. I was shaking I was so furious and I couldn't handle these feelings of concern for Harry. Not when my very core wanted so badly to hate him.
He had never planned on letting me go with him – I should have known he would pull a stunt like that. I had no other option but to go back to where Hugh was waiting at the parking bay. It killed me to do it but I had to. If Harry got into trouble he had Hugh's number, not mine on that phone.
"Why are you back?" Hugh gasped as I jumped into the passenger seat.
I rested my elbow against the car window, staring out of it. "Keep your phone on you," I replied dully.
"But –,"
"Do as I fucking say, Lawman."
He didn't speak again, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye peering at me every couple of seconds with big, sad eyes. They weren't working on me, though. I was too wound up, annoyed and betrayed.
I was going to kill Harry Taylor one of these days. I couldn't stop my erratic heartbeat as Hugh and I waited for him. He was a fucking idiot.
After twenty minutes Hugh's phone rang. I jumped and spun around in my seat to watch him as he answered it.
"H-hello?" he said quietly into the phone. Jesus the guy was even afraid of a phone call. "Oh, yeah, we're still here. He's still in the airport. Ethan and I are out in the car," I knew then it was Harvey or Jennifer on the line. My heart dropped – where was Harry?
"He wouldn't let me come, Harvey! I can't argue with him, you know what he gets like! Right. No, it's fine. Okay – talk soon. Bye."
He hung up and stared at the phone, not meeting my gaze. I stared at him for another few seconds before giving in and turning back around in my seat.
I was prepared for another few minutes of silence before Hugh made the decision to speak again. I was about to shush him again until his words became of interest to me.
"We didn't leave to hurt you. The opposite, actually. It was our only shot, Ethan. We had no new leads and this was our last chance – we couldn't trust anyone else in the agency. It had to be us." He tried to keep his voice steady but a slight tremble fought its way through at the end.
I swallowed hard. "And why couldn't I have been let in on this plan? Why did you have to hurt me so badly by keeping me in the dark?" I was using a new tactic with Hugh – trying to be reasonable. But my facade wasn't going to last long. I was too angry and pent up to be understanding.
"You wouldn't have let him go. Not if you knew where we were going."
"You don't know that."
"I do. If you knew where we were going, you wouldn't have allowed it," Hugh repeated.
I started to get annoyed. "You can't fucking say that, Hugh. You don't know what I would or wouldn't have done. All you guys were doing was infiltrating a gang – that's textbook agent stuff."
"This place was different," Hugh said, a distracted look coming into his eyes.
I frowned. "How?"
"They're like animals there. I would have died there without Harry stepping in for me."
I was about to get him to elaborate before the backseat door flung open. Harry threw two heavy bags onto the seat beside him, sweat running off of him from lifting them. "Go," he gasped.
Hugh nodded and slammed on the accelerator, only to conk the engine.
"For fucks sake, Hugh! Go!" Harry shouted, "They're texting me the address of delivery soon – we need time to go back to the mansion first and make a plan!"
Hugh took a deep breath and restarted the engine, focusing himself. Finally he pulled out, going at a fast speed but nowhere near as fast as how Harry had gone.
"Sorry about earlier Ethan, I –," Harry began apologising to me but I cut him off straight away.
"It's fine. I don't care."
"But –,"
"You can do what you want. I'm not involved with your life anymore. I can't hold that against you." Bitterness was seeping through me, almost enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Hugh and I's conversation was playing on my mind. The fact that I so desperately wanted to know what had happened to Harry so I could hurt whoever hurt him wasn't boding well with me.
I couldn't just let the past year slide. I didn't want to feel so much for him again. I was too mad and too hurt.
We drove in silence for the remainder of the journey. Harry still hadn't gotten a text about the address when we arrived back at the mansion. I was relieved to be back on safe territory until I spotted someone waiting for us at the front doors.
Tom had seemingly come to and was looking majorly pissed off. I heard Harry gulp.
Hugh pulled up as far as possible from Tom, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled the keys from the ignition.
"It's okay, Hugh. I'll handle this," Harry reassured him as he got out of the car. I had never seen Harry as protective over Hugh. I wondered if this was what Hugh meant when he said Harry stepped in for him.
"Now, now Tom. Let's not fight over spilt milk," Harry said with a smirk as he raised his hands in surrender, walking to him. Tom was striding towards him with an angry look. I immediately jumped from the passenger seat when I saw this look – it wasn't going to end well.
I didn't make it to Harry on time, however, before Tom swung for Harry. His fist connected with Harry's right cheek. I didn't think Harry expected it – I think he genuinely thought he was going to be able to talk things through with Tom.
"Tom, Tom! Stop it," I commanded as Harry stood up again, not defending himself. Tom had gone to lunge for him again until my voice stopped him.
"Oh don't tell me that you've gone soft on them already – Harvey and Jennifer told me everything. How can you even stand to be near them?" Tom sneered. He was upset and shocked over the re-emergence of his bastard of a father. Yes, I was blindingly and possibly permanently furious and hurt by Harry and Hugh, but I knew that Tom's anger was a lot more vicious.
"I haven't – don't worry. I just know that violence won't solve anything. He has to make a delivery to Michael Taylor and he can't show up with a black eye. Okay?" I was speaking urgently yet simply. I knew how to get through to Tom.
Hugh came to stand beside Harry, both of them looking like deer caught in headlights. People were starting to stare out of the windows of the mansion.
Tom took four deep breaths before looking at Harry and Hugh again. "Once this is all over, I never want to see either of you again." He stormed off towards the house. I could tell he was trying to hold back tears. I was too, to be honest.
He stopped and looked back at me, waiting to see if I would follow. Harry's eyes were on me, looking tired and defeated. I felt like I was torn between two people. But I wasn't torn at all, really. At least not in this moment in time.
"That makes two of us."
I went straight after Tom, putting my arm around his shoulders comfortingly as we walked back up the steps into the mansion.
I couldn't get it into my head what Harry and Hugh had done in their quest for 'righteousness'. How dare they turn me into the shell of a man I was today. How dare they make decisions that so seriously affected my life. As far as I was concerned, Harry, Hugh, Harvey and Jennifer could all go and fuck themselves.
I couldn't help myself but look back at Harry as Tom and I walked through the main doors. He hadn't moved a single step and was like a statue, watching me walk away. His eyes held a pain I could understand. It was tough watching the person you loved walk away. He needed to understand what I had been through.
But I doubted he ever would, though. I had contemplated suicide at one point. And to think that I would have done it in vain. It made me shudder.
I stopped in the middle of the entrance hall, looking at all of the people crowded around the windows, staring out.
Nathan, an agent I had come to regard as above standard here was the only person who had the decency to walk away from the window once he saw I was watching them.
"Get away from the window," I snarled. Everyone jumped away immediately. "This isn't a fucking soap opera – this is our lives."
I caught a junior agent diverting her eyes discreetly back outside, her eyebrows raising.
"Did you not just hear what I fucking said?" I walked towards her, my lip curled.
She snapped her eyes back to me, trembling. "I-I'm sorry Agent Moore... It's just..."
"Just what?" I barked.
"There's about ten black jeeps driving down the driveway..." she quivered, daring to look back out again.
Everyone rushed back to the windows again, staring out. Tom and I didn't think twice and looked out too. I squinted my eyes, trying to see who was driving them. They were too far away down the driveway, though.
"Here, use these," A nerdy computer whiz who worked down in the IT department handed me a pair of binoculars. I didn't waste time asking what he was doing with a pair of fucking binoculars. Staring through them, I focused them on the first jeep.
Once I got clear visuals on who was in the car, the binoculars fell from my hands.
"It's an ambush..." I whispered.
"What?" Tom eyed me anxiously.
"Everyone get into your positions – it's an ambush!" I roared. We all had our protocol if we were ever targeted in our own headquarters. There was no panicked scrambling. Everyone in the room simply sprinted quietly and efficiently into their positions.
Tom ran to get Harvey and Jennifer and I ran to get my weapons until I realised.
I ran back to the main doors, flinging them open. Harry and Hugh were unloading the two bags of weapons from the car slowly, both looking down and defeated. They hadn't even noticed the jeeps. They twenty seconds away from reaching them.
"Harry!" I roared desperately. He snapped his head up to look at me immediately. "It's an ambush! Get into the house!"
I didn't take my eyes off of him as he slammed the doors shut, himself and Hugh taking a bag of weapons each and sprinting towards the main doors. Harry was faster than Hugh and my heart beat painfully fast as Harry stopped at the bottom of the steps to wait for Hugh. He needed to hurry.
They both quickly ran up the steps and once they were in, I slammed the doors shut and ran to the desk in the entrance hall. I pressed the emergency button and it automatically sealed all of the doors and windows, steel grates slamming down in front of them all, blocking anyone from coming in or out.
We were like prisoners in our own home, but at least it bought us time and protection from the monsters outside.
"What the hell is going on?" Harry panted, staring at me with wild eyes.
I took a step towards him, all resentment towards him falling away in the intensity of the situation. It felt like the past year hadn't happened in this moment. I put my hand on his arm, swallowing hard.
"It's your father and Dawson. They're here."
Dun dun dunnnnnn... So this is chapter twenty-two! I was determined to get this chapter finished tonight and I'm so happy I am! I can't wait to start chapter twenty-three!!
Thoughts? I know it's tough seeing Ethan so mad but you have to understand that he isn't thinking about what Harry did for him but rather what he did to him the past few months.
Please, as always, comment and if you enjoyed the story a vote would be appreciated :)
The song I've chosen for this chapter is 'Unbreak my Heart' by Toni Braxton. The words are so powerful I love it <3
-O.