This chapter is sucky but I've been away for 2 weeks and panicked k
- Pandora -
Ashton fücked up.
This week was meant to be about him, about me, about our relationship, but instead it full of meetings and business deals. Packing and stressful shopping experiences. I tried to be supportive. I tried to be happy. But with every day we spent apart, it chipped away at my confidence, leaving me bitter and vulnerable.
He promised. He promised we wouldn't waste the time we had left together. Yet here I was, sitting with my mother in living room, watching re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.
This was my life now.
"Pandora, could you pass me the remote?" She questioned, extending her hand out towards me. I shot her a furious scowl, hugging the plastic device affectionately to my chest
"But I love this episode."
"You've seen it a million times before."
"...But I love this episode."
My mum raised her eyebrows expectantly and I let out a defeated sigh, begrudgingly passing her the remote. She smiled in delight and quickly changed the Channel, The Great Australian Bake Off now visible upon the screen.
It was this moment I began to regret every decision that had led me up to this point.
"Mum." I groaned, throwing my head back in annoyance. She just smirked smugly, hiding the remote behind her back before shifting into a more comfortable position.
"My house, my rules."
I rolled my eyes and slouched back into my chair, my demeanour grumpy and hostile. I wanted to hit everything and everyone, yet I bottled my emotions and retrieved my phone from my back pocket, debating whether or not to text Ashton.
He had ignored my past three attempts, so the chance of him replying to another was slim, yet there was a small part of me that just needed the reassurance that I could still contact him - whether he replied or not.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"What?" I frowned, abruptly lifting my gaze from my phone.
My mother stared at me from across the room, her lips pulled back into a sympathetic smile - as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. She had a glint in her eye - the same glint mother's got when they knew there was gossip to be told - and I mentally scolded myself for being so emotionally transparent.
My mother didn't even know about Ashton, so how could I possibly tell her about this?
"I can see something's wrong, sweetie." She continued "What is it?"
"Nothing." I answered automatically, averting my gaze to the floor.
I didn't want her to see the guilt in my eyes.
"Are you sure?" She pressed, studying me with motherly concern "Is it because of Luke and the tour?"
I winced, a painful reminder of just how soon Ashton would be leaving me. He hadn't even made the effort to visit me since Saturday, and the only interaction we had had was at school, with brief hugs exchanged awkwardly in the hallway.
I hated how busy he was and I hated how selfish I sounded.
"No."
"Then what is it? Is it a boy?"
I remained completely silent and slowly lowered my head, my cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. I didn't want to lie to my mother, yet I couldn't find the courage to openly confess.
So therefore, I allowed my lack of response to be my answer.
"Oh my god- It is a boy!"
A large weight lifted off my mum's shoulder as she beamed, evidently relieved by my answer. With the sudden news that Luke would be leaving us for six months, I believe she feared the worst from me. Luckily, all she had to worry about was a boy.
Or so she thought...
"What's his name?" She questioned, eagerly leaning towards me "What does he look like? How old is he? Is he tall? Do I know his mother?"
I blanched, completely unprepared for her intrusive questions. When considering telling my mum about a boy, it didn't occur to me she would want to know everything about him - although it was painfully evident now.
"Well uh... He's ah-" I paused, glancing frantically around my living - as if to find a way out of this "He's my age... Really tall. Kinda annoying."
"Sounds like your brother." She snorted, causing me to pause, blinking repeatedly as if to try and comprehend her statement.
She did not just say that.
"He's nothing like Luke."
"He sounds like Luke-"
"He is nothing like Luke."
My mother blinked a few times before subtly nodding, acknowledging my discomfort and discarding the subject. I let out a small sigh and leant my head back against the soft material of the chair, wishing I could just close my eyes and pretend that this had never happened.
Ashton was nothing but trouble and I had always known it.
"Do I know the boy?"
"Yes, you know him." I replied, nodding my head in confirmation "He basically lives here."
"Is it Michael?"
I frowned, craning my neck to meet her eager gaze, eyes wide with curiosity.
Why did everyone think that?
"No. It's not Michael." I stated bluntly, watching her face fall in disappointment.
"Oh... Okay." She mumbled, fiddling awkwardly with a few rings placed decoratively upon her finger "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive," I nodded "he's dating Emma anyway."
"Who's Emma?"
"The girl he met at the Masquerade Ball."
"I thought that was Dana?"
"No, she's dating Calum."
"Then who's Natalia?"
"Luke's friend."
"And Ishbel?"
"Isabella. And honestly, I have no idea. She works at Target."
My mum frowned, scratching her chin thoughtfully.
"And Ashton dates Alex?"
I couldn't help it - I laughed, choking on my saliva and falling into an involuntary coughing fit. My mother watched from across the room with dimmed eyes, her expression hurt and a little confused. She didn't understand my reaction, yet she would soon.
I had to tell her.
"Mum, Alex and Ashton broke up a month ago." I informed her, watching in amusement as her face fell, her eyes narrowed with confusion "He's dating someone else now."
"Really? Who?"
I hesitated, second guessing my answer. This could either go two ways, and each option scared the living crap out of me.
I just had to hope she could invent a third.
"Mum," I began, my voice dropping an octave as I tried to remain as professional as possible "I should have probably told you this about a month ago, but-"
"I'm home!" An abrupt voice exclaimed, the front door slamming harshly against the opposing wall. This was then followed by a muttered apology, to which my mother rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Your brother will be the death of me."
I chuckled lightly before trailing off into an exasperated groan, muttering profanities under my breath. I was so close to telling my mum about Ashton. So close.
"Mum! Is it okay if the boy's stay tonight?" Luke randomly asked, his gruff voice echoing powerfully around our small house.
My mother shot me a look as if to say 'save me' before yelling back a response, her expression twisted into look of displeasure.
"Honey, don't you think it's a little impractical?"
"What do you mean?" He questioned, dramatically flouncing into the living room. A figure followed in closely behind him and I felt my mouth dry, jealousy gripping wildly at my abandoned heart.
Ashton.
"Well, it's a school night." My mum explained, studying the two boys' wearily as they flopped down upon her couch "Wouldn't it be better for them to stay tomorrow?"
"But then that's Friday," he groaned, throwing his head back in annoyance "and we have graduation Saturday morning."
"Oh, I see." She mumbled, her lips pressed into a troubled line.
I knew exactly what she wished to tell them, yet she didn't want to appear unkind - especially in front of a guest - so she remained perched precariously upon the fence, swaying dangerously between sides.
"Please, mum." Luke pleaded, his lips drawn down into his signature 'I'm going to guilt-trip you into this' pout "This is the last opportunity we'll get for a lads sleepover."
"Lads sleepover." I snorted, receiving a haughty glare in return
"Shut up, Dora."
"Luke, I don't know." My mum mumbled, causing his hopeful smile to fall
"Please?" He begged, his eyes wide with hope "I promise we'll behave, Mum... Please?"
"Oh... Alright, fine." My mum sighed, caving in to Luke's requests. "But no running up and down the stairs."
"Thank you!" He exclaimed, excitedly nudging Ashton muscular shoulder before retrieving his phone from his pocket "I'll just go tell them."
As Luke typed hastily upon his phone, the room fell into an awkward silence, tension building between myself and Ashton. He was staring at me - his hazel eyes soft and apologetic - and I did my very best to ignore him, studying a random stain upon my old leggings.
I couldn't look at him, for I knew the minute my eyes fell upon his captivating hazel orbs - alight with boyish charm and humour - I would be entrapped, and all sense of annoyance or anger would be lost.
And I needed him to know how I felt. I needed him to know exactly how he had made me feel the past five days.
"So, does anyone want a drink?" My mother asked, breaking the silence and shooting us a questioning glance. I softly shook my head and Ashton politely declined, descending us back into our previous state.
Luke was too engrossed in his phone to notice.
"So how are you, Mrs Hemmings?" Ashton finally questioned, causing me to roll my eyes, letting out a disbelieving sigh.
Mrs Hemmings
"I'm good, Ashton." My mum beamed, flattered by his attention "What about you?"
"Good," he nodded, his hazel eyes briefly meeting my own before looking away, brimmed with an emotion I couldn't quite decipher "I'm good."
I couldn't say the same.
"Okay. Mikey, Cal and Tarzan are coming in about an hour." Luke informed us, slipping his phone back into his pocket before shooting us all a pleased, beaming smile - happy to have gotten his own way.
I paused, my lips drawn down into a sceptical frown.
"Wait... Tarzan?"
"Yeah, that's Harry's ni-"
"I know what it is." I confirmed "I was just wondering why he was invited."
"He's kind of our friend now," Ashton answered, lightly chuckling as he saw my puzzled expression "it's a long story."
"But you hated him."
"Shít happens."
"Mum, is it okay if we sleep downstairs tonight?" Luke asked, abruptly breaking my attention away from Ashton.
"What? No!"
"Why?" He frowned, shooting me a perplexed glance.
I felt myself visibly redden as all eyes fell upon me, yet I kept my confident stance, mentally preparing myself for the battle that awaited me.
He could not have the TV tonight.
"Because," I began "How to Get Away with Murder is on tonight."
"So?" He questioned, causing my chest to tighten in annoyance
"So, it's a new episode." I explained, attempting to keep my calm composure "Evie was coming over so we could watch it."
"Well, you can watch it another night." He announced, completely disregarding my plans and prioritizing his own "Cause the boys are coming over and my rooms too small for us all."
"Luke, that isn't fair." I stated through gritted teeth, watching as his lips twitched up into an all too familiar cocky smirk.
"Life isn't fair, Pandora."
I tensed, my jaw clenching as I bit back my hateful words. Although I wished to swear and yell at him, I had to keep my calm composure, for the better my reaction, the better chance my mother would take my side.
And in the end, it was my mother who would truly decide.
"Luke, it would only be for an hour." I spoke, my words soft and formal.
He just shrugged, clearly disinterested by my futile attempts to reason with him.
"You can just record it."
"But I had plans."
"Well, cancel them."
"I promised Evie."
I was lying. I didn't promise Evie shít
"Well break your promise," Luke sighed, exasperated "I don't care, Pandora. I need the living room tonight."
"Luke." Ashton murmured, his eyebrows drawn down in disapproval "It's fine. We could just chill in your room for a while."
"It's not fine, Ash." Luke snapped back, seeming to have forgotten that my mother was seated directly across from him, her eyes dimmed with dissatisfaction.
She was disappointed in him.
"If we let her have this, we are basically letting her win."
"Win what? The living room?" I snorted, shooting him an incredulous look "I never knew it was a prize to be given."
"It's not." My mum muttered, her lips pressed into a firm line "Luke, you are being extremely ignorant right now. The living room is a room for all the family, not just you."
"I know that, mum." He sighed, rolling his eyes "But I need it tonight for my friends."
"Can't your friends and you spare an hour or so just so she can watch her programme?" She questioned, receiving a mental high five from myself.
Queen Liz was back in business.
"No."
"Yes."
Luke and Ashton exchanged a disapproving glance as my mother sighed, clearly irritated by the situation. There was a simple solution to this problem, yet Luke remained completely irrational, ignoring any attempts made to reason with him.
"Luke, just give Pandora the hour." Ashton muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
My brother scowled, crossing his arms across his chest in defiance.
"Why should I?"
"Luke, you will let Pandora watch her programme or so god help me I will ban any friend of yours coming to the house, ever." My mum hissed, her voice raised in anger "Have I made myself clear?"
Luke appeared visibly shaken, shrunken back in his chair as he quickly nodded. Ashton remained completely silent beside him, his head bowed as he tried to conceal his bemusement. The tension in the room was almost palpable.
"What time is your show, Pandora?"
"Ten." I answered, my voice lowered warily.
Luke rolled his eyes but remained quiet - too nervous to voice his opinion - as my mum subtly nodded, approving of the time. I was smiling, pleased to have finally gotten my own way.
This was a rare occurrence for me.
"Luke, you will allow Pandora into the Living Room at ten." My mum declared, her voice soft yet firm "Is that clear?"
"Yes."
He didn't sound pleased.
"And you will not bother her whilst she watches this programme, is that also clear?"
"Yes, mum."
"Good." She beamed, her eyes alight with amusement and satisfaction "Now that's sorted, I'm going for a bath."
Getting up, she planted a soft kiss to my forehead and lightly ruffled Luke's hair - much to his annoyance - before exiting the room swiftly, leaving behind the familiar scent of her perfume. I smiled and my brother glowered, his fury directed straight towards me.
"This is all your fault." He muttered, shoving my shoulder in his childish act of annoyance.
Ashton scowled and shoved him back, his protective side emerging from the shadows. As ironic as it was, the one trait I despised was the one I had missed the most, and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips, my eyes softening with affection.
I loved him.
Ashton seemed to have read my thoughts for in that moment he looked upwards, his hazel eyes meeting my own as his lips curled upwards into a radiant smile. And as I had feared, my anger evaporated and I was left with the heavy feeling of love, weighing me down like the overbearing emotion it is.
And in that one, intimate moment, all fears of the coming days dispersed, and I was left with him. Just him and me and the possibility of what we could be.
And it was the loveliest feeling of all
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This took 4 attempts and it still ended up shítty haha
(Sorry it didn't involve smut I'm disappointed too)
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WHATS UR FAVE 5SOS SONG CAUSE MINE IS VAPOR OR CASTAWAY OR OUTER SPACE / CARRY ON DO U FEEL ME
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Song: Vapor by 5sos
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- Esmerelda 💜