Jackie's laugh rings out from upstairs as she runs down the stairs with Jessie hot on her heels.
We're celebrating our victory and welcoming party downstairs in the living room. We decided not to go out to a club or a bar because the police are hot on our trails as said by Josh. So we're celebrating in the mansion with bottles of beer and champagne and bags of gummy worms, Jolly Ranchers, and all kinds of candy. I'll probably be high on sugar for the next four hours and I'll have a killer hangover tomorrow morning, but right now, I'm just enjoying myself.
We plugged in Ricky's iPhone to two small speakers and you can hear his music blaring from the kitchen.
I'm wearing a faded, black tank top with a rock band on the front that I borrowed from Sweet Pea and jean shorts along with golden hoop earrings and red lip gloss, and I took my hair out and curled it and teased it up a bit. I really went all out for Ricky. Does he think I look good?
So far, he's been sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette, and staring at me. I'm only sitting a few centimeters away from him, but I can still feel the heat coming from his body.
I want be closer to him.
I want his hands on me.
The thought of it makes me blush.
Maybe I had one too many drinks.
So far, we've popped in two horror movies and laughed at the fakeness of it, played beer pong and something the guys made up called "piggyback racing" which is basically getting on someone's back and holding on while the person you're on tries to crawl to the finish line (Nicki and I tried racing Louis and Jerry, and I got on Nicki's back at that time, but we both fell to the ground, laughing before we could even move.) listened to four rap and dance songs, and now we're just fooling around.
I'm suddenly awake of two legs on either side of me and an arm draped around me in the front. "Are you having fun?" Ricky whispers in my ear, his hot, cigarette-scented breath in my ear. I freeze, my whole body going hot and still, and all I can do is nod. Does he know what he does to me? I hear him chuckle and feel him kiss my cheek before inhaling more smoke and blowing it into the air.
I watch as Josh goes into the kitchen and Liv, Jackie, Nicki, Sweet Pea dance around as "Show Me" by Kid Ink plays through the speakers. Jackie turns to me, her hair all over the place, her face sweaty and beautiful.
"C'mon, Kate!" she says, holding out her hand. I feel Ricky unwrap himself from me and I feel oddly cold before Jackie's pulling me up on my feet and towards her. I can feel Ricky's eyes on me, burning into the back of my head, and I'm suddenly drunk with the feeling of it. I start swaying my hips, singing along to the words since I've been hearing this all week on the radio, laughing when Nicki twirls me around. "Oh, my God!" Sweet Pea yells with a high-pitched laugh and I'm suddenly seeing Jessie trying to twerk, but failing epically as Jerry behind him with a camera, laughing. I see Ricky throw his head back and laugh, long and loud and I smile.
I love his laugh so much.
I'm twirled by Sweet Pea and she makes an attempt in dipping me effortlessly to the ground, but fails and she falls on top of me, trapping me. I try to breathe, but I can't, partly because of Sweet Pea on my stomach and partly because I'm laughing too hard.
I've never felt so happy before.
I feel as if this is were I had belonged all along, with Ricky.
And I finally realize it:
I don't want to leave.
Ever.
I want to stay here, to live here with Ricky and the rest. I want to learn how to shoot guns more and fight other street gangs and jump from city to city, from state to state with them when the police or more street gangs find us. I want to keep the electric, thrilling feeling I always feel when I'm with them in my heart, lock it up, and throw away the key.
"Power Trip" by J Cole starts playing and I'm taken back to the night back in Ricky's car, when we road around the city and he sang along to the radio.
He's suddenly in front of me, his hand outstretched towards me. He doesn't have to say anything to let me know that he wants to dance with me. I was never the one for the slow dances. I once stepped on crush's feet when we asked me to prom back in high school and I dirtied up his shoes. He never spoke to me ever again and I never went to another prom and never slow danced after that night. But with Ricky, I'm willing to make an exception.
I put my hand in his and he pulls me towards him, one hand on my waist, the other on the small of my back. I put my hand on his heart, feeling his heart beat under my fingers as we sway to the music. I hear a few cheers and laughs as we dance, but other than that, the living room is empty. I hear someone laugh in the kitchen and off-key singing, and Jackie's shriek and a splash outside. I hear Jessie's laugh and a loud yell along with splash. They must be playing in the pool, pulling each other in.
I close my eyes, drowning in the smell of Ricky and the sound of his heart against my ear. "Are you glad you stayed?" he whispers, his breath warming my neck.
"I am," I answer, smiling softly as I open my eyes and look at him.
"I'm glad you stayed too," he says before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. An electric shock runs through me and I'm buzzing with the feeling of his lips on mine.
Does he know what he does to me?
Does he know that I would do anything for him?
Does he know that I would kill a policeman and burn down the whole city if it meant I could stay with him?
The thought scares me, but it also thrills me. Love does crazy things to you. I'm crazy for this man, and I don't think I ever want to be sane again.
We keep dancing until the song ends and Ricky leads me into the kitchen to see Josh and Jerry sitting at the kitchen table, drinking two bottles of beer and smoking some joints. They're talking about something and Jerry is laughing unnecessarily loud which gives away that he's drunk.
"What're you guys doing?" Ricky asks, lighting a cigarette, swiping Josh's beer bottle from him and taking a swig.
"Screwing around," Jerry says, inhaling a puff of smoke. "Some of the guys are downstairs in the basement, playing pool. I think Jessie and Jackie are outside in the pool."
"Probably doing more than swimming," Josh adds, getting a couple of laughs.
Jerry suddenly stands up, stumbling out of the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" Ricky calls.
"Head hurts," Jerry calls from the living room. "Gonna lay down."
As soon as we hear the thumping of feet up the stairs, Ricky and Josh let out a laugh.
"He's gonna have a killer hangover in the morning," Ricky says, taking a joint from the ashtray in the middle of the table and lighting it. He inhales some smoke and blows it out in a slow, gray cloud that's thicker than the regular smoke from cigarettes.
"Gonna go downstairs and play some pool," he says to me. "You wanna come with?"
"No," I say. "I'm gonna sit down. I'm feeling a little dizzy."
He kisses my lips before giving me one last smile and walking down the stairs.
"You really like him, don't you?"
I turn to Josh who's still smoking his joint, looking at me intensely. I nod, my cheeks heating up. "Yeah," I say, honestly. "I do."
"I've never had a girlfriend before," he says. "Not even back in high school. I always kept to myself."
I sit in the chair that Jerry forgot to push in, crossing my arms on the table.
"People thought I was dangerous," he says. "They thought I was some kind of damn disease or something. Girls never got near me. Except for Ricky. He was always fun to be around. Clever, friendly. All of that shit."
My eyes widen a bit in surprise. Is Josh jealous of his little brother?
"But who would want to date me?" he says, wisps of smoke coming out of his mouth. "Who would want to be around me? I'm just a douche bag."
"No, you're not," I say, and the words seem to shock Josh because he looks at me, his eyebrows raised.
"Don't say all of those things about yourself, Josh," I say, "because you're known of them. At first, I pretty terrified of you when I first came here. I was uncomfortable when I was around you. I thought that you were rude and selfish and didn't care about anyone. But as I got to know you over the past few weeks, I realized I was wrong."
Without thinking, I put my hand on his. He looks at them, but he doesn't move.
"You are an amazing, strong, beautiful person, Josh," I say, with a reassuring smile. "Any girl would be lucky to have you."
He looks at me, his mouth partly open before the corners of his lips turn up into a smile, showing his teeth. "Thanks, Kate," he says. "You're really sweet. Ricky's lucky to have you."
I smile, a blush making it's way onto my cheeks as I say, "Thank you."
I stands up and push the chair in. "If you need me, I'll be downstairs," I say over my shoulder before I walk downstairs where half of the gang is playing pool and the others are sitting on the floor, drinking beer from red, plastic cups.
Ricky is bent over the pool table, a joint in his mouth, watching Louis position his pool stick. When he looks up and sees me standing there, he smiles and strides over to me, making me buzz even more he's in front of me. "Hey," he says, wrapping his arms around me.
Josh was wrong.
Ricky's not lucky to have me.
I'm lucky to have him.