Megan Crawford.
Saturday, June 27th 2015.
18:11.
My family had never had much money.
I had been aware of that for so much time, but I never told my mother. I knew that she wanted to hide that from me, she did not want me to worry about our economy.
But I could not help but concern when I saw her on her bedroom desk with a letter on her hand and tears in her blue eyes.
I had gone in there to tell her that dinner was almost done, because on Mondays I was the one to cook. I had made tomato soup for all of us, my mother, my sister Catherine, and me.
But when I walked through the door, everything was forgotten.
I had only seen my mother cry a few times before. My father left when I was ten years old, he had found another woman that he loved more than me, my mother and my sisters. Catherine had been born a few months before that, and my older sister, Chloe, had been fourteen.
After my father left, I had listened to my mother sob almost every night when she thought everyone was asleep. The walls between our bedrooms were so thin. I had never gone to her to try to make her feel better, but I had always wanted to.
In that moment, when I saw my mother with her forehead against the wood of the desk and heard soft whimpers escaping her lips, I was reminded of those dark days when she would not smile at anything and would be so sad.
"Mom, what happened?" I asked, making her look up at me and brush a few strands of her blonde hair from her eyes. Her gaze was bloodshot and dull, and I was so dazed as to what had happened that had made her feel so miserable. My mother was a strong woman, not much could get to her.
"Megan, I'm so sorry you had to see that," she said, her eyes wide and her bottom lip between her teeth. She started to play with a loose thread of her shirt in a nervous manner and I walked over to her after I closed the door of her bedroom behind me.
"No, that's fine," I assured her as I knelt down in front of the desk chair and looked at my mother. I took her hand in mine as my eyebrows knitted together. "I'm just worried about you, what's wrong?"
"I do not have money to pay for the rent of this month," she admitted to me, her eyes not meeting mine for even a second. Her body was shaking as she told me and the tears were falling down her cheeks at a quick pace. "They want to take our house away."
I was taken aback, and stared at the paper on her hand. I only had to read a few words to realize that the letter was a warning to tell her that if she did not pay for the rent soon, we would not have a home anymore. I was so confused for a moment because I had never thought we would come to something so terrible. I had never known we had so little money.
"When do you have to pay?" I wondered, my voice silent and afraid of the answer.
"They are giving us a month before we get evicted," my mother replied as she finally glanced up at me with her pale blue eyes and saw the horrified look on my expression. "I know, honey. I swear I am going to work another shift in the hospital and perhaps that could help us."
My mother was a nurse in the hospital in town, but her salary was not much. I knew that she would not make enough money to pay for the rent, and I started to think. My mind was fast to come up with an answer to our problems, and I started to speak as I nodded my head.
"I have to find work," I said in a determined tone. I had never had a job before, but that did not matter to me in that moment, I just wanted to help. "I think they want to hire someone in the bookstore down the street, The Book Escape."
"No, not a chance," my mother argued as she started to shake her head in disagreement. "I am supposed to be the one to take care of you, not the other way around. I can handle everything."
"I want to help," I said in a sincere nature.
"Oh, Megan," she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around my body and pressed her forehead against my shoulder. "I don't want to bother you. All of this is my fault."
"You would never bother me," I promised to her as I traced patterns on her back with my fingertips. I spoke into her ear in a soft whisper to try to make her feel better about what was going on. "Everything is going to be okay."
But to be honest, I was not so sure that everything would be okay.
-
Megan Crawford.
Sunday, June 28th 2015.
14:33.
"I wish there was something I could do."
I was on the phone with Chloe, my older sister. She was in New York, in her small apartment. She went to the University of Columbia because she was such a wonderful student and had earned a scholarship.
Chloe and I were speaking about the conversation I had had with my mother the day before. I had just told Chloe that I would find work in a bookstore and would try to make money to pay the rent. She was concerned for us, but I assured her that we would be just fine.
I was on a park bench as I watched my little sister, Catherine, run around on the playground. There was wind in her hair and a wide smile on her lips. Both of my sisters and my mother were blonde and had blue eyes, but I resembled my father instead, with my brunette hair and hazel eyes.
"There is nothing to worry about," I said to her, but then again, there was no way that I could know that for sure. I wanted to be certain that we would not be evicted and we would keep our home. But I did not know how much money I would make in my job, and maybe, it would not be enough to pay the rent.
"Okay, Meg," Chloe said, even though her tone was still unsure. I could hear her sigh on the other line and I could not help but sigh too. "But please, if you need any more money I can just send some to you."
"Chloe, we will be fine," I told her.
In that moment, I saw my small sister walking towards me, with a smile on her face and sparkling blue eyes. I grinned back at her as she was about to reach me. I did not want Catherine to hear my conversation with Chloe, and that is why I spoke into the phone to say goodbye to my older sister. "I have to go now."
"I love you, sister," she said through the phone. Afterwards, she told me something that made me feel better about my problems. "I will see you in a few weeks."
Chloe would come back home to Blackford in three weeks to see the family and spend some time with us. I had not seen her for a few months and I was so excited for her to tell me about her experiences in college.
I was very close to my older sister as well as my younger one. Even though our father had left and we did not see each other all the time, we were a family and we cared and watched out for each other so much.
"I love you too," I said and ended our phone call, just as Catherine sat down on the bench beside me with an exhale. She seemed exhausted after she had run around the playground. I placed my hand on her blonde hair and she looked up at me with a wide gaze.
"What are we doing now?" she wondered, her eyes already excited about our next adventure. I gave her an apologetic look and shook my head.
"I am taking you home with Mom," I admitted to my little sister as I stood from the bench and took her hand in mine. She frowned up at me and was about to open her mouth to say something else, but I spoke up first, "I have things to do."
"I want to go with you!" Catherine whined as the both of us started to walk down the grass of the park. She went on, "When Mom is home, all she does is sleep! She is boring, and I want to have some fun with you!"
I did not love the fact that she complained so much, but after all, she was a seven year old. She did not understand that our mother worked very hard to take care of us. She just wanted someone to pay more attention to her and someone to play with.
"I'm sorry, Catherine," I told her, my tone sincere. I always tried to make her happy when she was upset about something, but in that moment, I had to leave her at home with my mother. "But I am going to a bookstore to find a job. I am very sure you think that's boring."
"I miss Chloe. She always wanted to spend time with me," she told me as she stared down at the floor and pouted. I could not help but feel bad because she was right, Chloe was the one to spend more time with her. She would be in town soon, but Catherine got bored almost immediately and there was nothing she could really do until our older sister came home.
"I promise I do want to spend time with you," I said as I brushed a few strands of blonde hair away from her eyes and offered her a gentle grin. "But I really have to find work, and you have to stay home."
"Fine," she grumbled. I put an arm around her shoulder and leaned down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head. The both of us were silent for a moment, before she gave me a mischevious grin and said, "But you have to take me somewhere fun soon."
"I promise."
-
Megan Crawford.
Sunday, June 28th 2015.
15:02.
Violet had sent me a message.
I had just left Catherine at home with my mother and I was about to make my way to The Book Escape to ask for the job. The store would not close in another few hours, but I just wanted to get everything over with. I had nothing better to do anyway, or at least, not until I read the text of Violet.
Do you have half an hour? I want to get some ice cream with you, Megs.
I would have asked if Blake was going to be there too, but I already knew the answer to that question. I knew that for a few days, Violet and I would have to be alone, because our other friend, was heartbroken.
After Ted had cheated on Blake with Ava, she had been distant. She had not wanted to be with anyone, she just wanted to be alone and be sad for the break up. I was worried about her, but I would give her all the time she needed to heal.
I replied to Violet and told her that I would meet her in Dream Cream. That was the name of the ice cream parlor in town and they had the most delicious of flavors there. My favorite one was the buttermilk one and Violet had told me before that hers was the strawberry one.
I had to walk to the shop because I did not have a car. My mother could not afford to get me one, she only could borrow me hers when she was not at work. But most of the time, I would walk around our small town to go wherever I wanted. Often, Blake would drive me, but right now, that was not an option.
I started to walk down the street as I stared down at my worn out black boots. I wore those shoes almost every day because they were my favorite pair. They were old and did not look too good anymore, but they were comfortable and I loved them.
In that moment, alone, I could think and breathe for a few seconds. My mind wandered to my father, and I started to realize that if he had never left us, we would have money to pay the rent and I would not have to find a job.
Everything had been so sudden, he had just told my mother that he wanted a divorce and had had her sign the papers. Just a day after that, he had driven away from our house and had started his new life with his new wife.
I did not even know her name, but to be honest, I did not want to know. The woman should have known better than to fall in love with Mitchell Stanford, my father.
I did not have his surname because my mother had made sure to change our names just after the both of them separated. She started to go by her real name again, Cara Crawford. I admired her for what she had done, she had been strong even when he had broken her into a thousand pieces. She had kept her head up.
When I arrived at Dream Cream, I was upset. Just the thought of my father could make me mad and I hated him for that and for everything he had done to my family.
Violet was not there yet, and I decided to order my buttermilk ice cream as I waited for her. I stared at the pastel walls of the shop and the colorful flavors of the desserts as the employee gave me my cup. I paid for it and sat down on one of the cold metal chairs as I kept quiet.
When the door of the shop opened a few minutes later, Violet was standing there with a strand of her black hair curled around her finger and a small smile on her face. She always seemed to be so happy and she usually would pass off her good mood to me. But in that moment, I was not at all glad, I was just angry.
She waved at me and made her way towards the counter. I returned the gesture as Violet started to ask for her ice cream, and after they gave her the strawberry cup, she walked to the table I was sat on and smiled at me. She greeted me, "Hi, Meg."
"My father is so terrible," I said in a bothered tone, not caring about what else she had to say. I was so pissed off that I did not even want to say hello to my friend. "We are going through hell because of him. We have so many problems because he could not care less about us."
"Sweetness, you should not be thinking about him," Violet told me, she did not seem to mind that I had not acknowledged her in any way. She placed her hand on my shoulder and traced patterns on my skin. "He is not worth it."
"I just cannot believe he would leave us alone," I groaned as I ran my hands through my brunette hair and shook my head. I took a spoonful of my ice cream and swallowed the sweet taste. "We are supposed to be his family. But he loves his new wife more than he ever loved my mother."
"You are right, he really is a bastard," Violet agreed as she nodded. She seemed to be very worried that I was thinking about something that was not at all good for me. That was Violet, she protected me, even when I needed protection from my own self. "But you do not have to worry about him, just forget about that man."
I sighed because I was sure she was right. Being mad about what my father had done so many years ago would not be helpful, it would just hurt me. I had to see the bright side of what was happening in my life in that moment, even when everything seemed to be dark.
"I know. I'm sorry, Violet."
"You should not apologize, I understand," she assured me. Before I could say anything else, she decided to change the subject. She admitted to me, "I wish there was something I could do about the rent you have to pay."
"That is not your problem," I said in a quick manner, not to be rude, but because I did not want her to be concerned about me. I shrugged my shoulders and watched her take another bite from her strawberry ice cream. "I can handle some work."
"I know you can," she agreed with a small grin. She shook her head as a sigh escaped her lips and she said in a proud tone, "You are such a heroine. You save everyone from everything."
The both of us talked for another half hour about different things, but that statement stayed in my mind for so much time. I did not save everyone from everything, I just tried to do what was right for the ones I loved.
And still, none of that ever seemed to be enough.
I have no idea why, but I thought about Josh in that moment. I had tried to make him happy in the party a few days before when I had told him to spend time with Eliza. But that was not at all what I had wanted. I had wanted him to be with me and only me.
I just always got hurt when I tried to do the right thing.
-
Megan Crawford.
Sunday, June 28th 2015.
17:20.
I was in The Book Escape.
I had walked past that store so many times when I would leave my house. After all, the place was just a few steps away from home. But I had never gone in, at least, not until that day.
The store sold books and coffee. There were shelves with novels of all sizes and colors around the room. There also were tables, chairs, menus and a counter to order desserts. The floors were wooden and the lamps gave a dim yellow light.
The bells of the glass door made a noise as I walked in. There was a desk on one side of the room and on the other side was the coffee section. On the desk, there was a young woman with blonde hair and pale skin. She seemed to be a few years older than me, and when she saw me, she smiled.
"Good afternoon, welcome to The Book Escape," she said in a cheerful tone. I smiled back at her and walked towards her, looking into her light green eyes. I took my bottom lip between my teeth and started to speak in a quiet manner.
"I heard you wanted to hire someone," I said, my tone unsure and nervous. I scratched the back of my neck as I looked around and wondered, "Are you the owner of the store?"
She seemed surprised when I told her I was there for the job, and she stood from the chair behind the desk and offered me her hand to shake. I took it in mine for a moment before I let go of her long and slender fingers.
"I'm Aria Norwood, a pleasure to meet you. I have owned the store for a year now, it used to belong to my grandmother," she explained as she gave me a wide smile. She looked at me up and down and took in my appearance, I felt insecure under her gaze, but I did not say anything. She asked, "What is your name?"
"Megan Crawford, but you can call me Meg," I told her. Then, in an anxious and quick voice, I added, "I am not sure what I should do; I have never really had a job before. But I promise that I will be a wonderful worker if you hire me."
"I am sure you will," she assured me with a warm smile. Aria was being very kind to me and I appreciated that she was giving me a chance to work there. She slanted her head to the side and asked, "How old are you, Meg?"
"Seventeen," I replied.
"Good," Aria responded as she nodded her head several times and sat down on her wooden chair again. She took a pencil in her hand and started to write down on her notepad in a beautiful penmanship. She bit down on the gum of the pencil as she stared at me and asked, "When can you start?"
My eyes widened because I was so taken aback. I had never thought that everything would be so simple, I had not done much to get a job. I had been nervous for nothing, after all, finding work had been easy for me. I frowned at Aria in confusion and said, "Was that it? Do you not have more questions for me?"
"Not really," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. She gave me an embarrassed expression and explained to me, "I have been waiting for someone to come ask for the job for weeks now. You seem to be a good person and the work you will have is not at all hard."
"Sounds marvelous! Thank you so much!" I exclaimed. "I can start as soon as possible. I also want to work five days a week, if that is okay."
"That is more than okay," Aria assured me as she nodded her head and raised her eyebrows. She took a calculator on her hands and started to press some numbers. "I guess you can start tomorrow. You can work from Monday to Friday, from nine to twelve in the morning."
"You will earn thirteen dollars an hour and work three hours each day," she muttered under her breath as she frowned down at the calculator and concentrated. "You will make one hundred and ninety five dollars every week you work here. Is that fine with you?"
I did the math in my head. If I worked there for two months, I would make more than a thousand dollars. If I added my mother's salary from her job in the hospital, that had to be enough to pay the rent of that month and the next one. I had decided to work for two months instead of just one, because I knew that my mother could still use the help.
"That is perfect! Thank you, Aria!" I screeched out.
"Thank you," she said with a sigh of relief, and I chuckled at her. She clapped her hands together and told me, "I guess I will see you tomorrow, Meg."
I nodded my head as I smiled. I could not believe I was going to earn money to help my family. I felt so proud of myself because my mother would be so happy when she found out. I would make our problems better and we would pay the rent. I knew that for sure now.
As I walked out the door of the store and waved at Aria, I could feel the grin on my lips and a sigh escaped me. I felt good about what I had done and I was relieved that I had found a way to help my mother.
I could take care of my family now.
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