{{Dedicated to every single one of you out there who stuck with me from the beginning, and to those who joined along the ride. I love you all very much.}}
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Ever since the truce they'd called a little over a week ago while dealing with the last-minute chemistry assignment, things had begun to shift between Caleb and Rhea. It wasn't a rapid shift to say the least; it was slow and deliberate. Well, deliberate on Caleb's part. It had taken Rhea quite a few days to catch on to what Caleb had been doing day after day, minute after minute. But once she figured it out in the silence of his car while he drove with utmost concentration, only taking his eyes off the road momentarily to sneak glances at her from time to time, things had taken an entirely different form. It was the final—maybe the most crucial—stage of the shift, the one that left them at an impasse.
Now, she was aware that Caleb—though unclear to what extent—returned her feelings. What she couldn't figure out was why he wasn't making a move.
When he'd woken her up in front of her house that night—she must have fallen asleep at some point during the two hour drive—he'd looked like he wanted to say something. He'd even inhaled sharply as if to brace himself but decided against it at the last minute, clamping his lips shut. Instead, after regarding her with a soft look for a moment, he'd bid her good night and driven off into the night.
Frustrated with the complicated nature of their situation, she'd lay awake well into the night, contemplating everything and nothing.
It had been a month since Yasmine and Caleb broke up. Was that enough time to get over something that had gone on for three years?
If there was one thing she'd figured out this year, getting over someone—or something—had little to do with time and a lot to do with circumstance. Everything she'd gone through during and after her brief relationship with Floyd had been jarring enough that it might have taken her months—years even—to get over and let go of if it weren't for Caleb and the revelations she'd had. She could have been scarred for life, become unable to trust men due to the way she'd been treated in her first relationship, but knowing someone like Caleb—someone in such startling contrast to Floyd—existed had eased her through the process.
She hoped—for the first time, without feeling guilty for it—that having met her would be enough to ease Caleb through the process of letting go of his first relationship and quite possibly his first love.
Because at the end of the day, she didn't want to hold his heart in her hands if she couldn't be entirely sure it belonged to her, and her alone.
On Monday, she was sure she'd have some sort of conversation with Caleb, bringing some much needed resolution to their situation, so she spent the entire weekend mentally prepping herself for it—with the help of her best friend, of course.
Over steaming hot cups of tea, they discussed every aspect of the situation, dissected every bit of interaction she'd had with Caleb in the past few weeks. Willa seconded her theory about Caleb's change in attitude but to be entirely sure, they called on Wade's expertise of the male point of view.
"Guys are simple," he said to them matter-of-factly, "especially a guy like Caleb. I don't think he's one to play games. If he touches you, it's because he wants to. If he tells you you've stolen his heart, he means it. I know you girls like picking things apart but I think this situation is pretty straightforward. He likes you. He'll make a move."
So she went to school on Monday with those reassuring words in mind, just to spend the entire day on the edge of her seat, waiting for Caleb to make a move—a move that just didn't come.
He was the same as he'd been before Friday night. Playful words, casual touches, soft smiles... and nothing more.
She was confused, and even more so when this went on for the entire week.
On Friday, they went out to Patty's for burgers and milkshakes with Wade and Willa and even there, when it felt like they were on a double date more than anything, there was still that invisible line between them—a line that could be crossed easily by Caleb with the smallest of leaps.
She was sure he would finally take that leap when he offered to drop her off at her house after Patty's and walked her to her door—even surer when he casually asked if she had any plans on Sunday, which just so happened to be Valentine's Day.
However, when she gave her answer that no, she didn't currently have any plans for Sunday, he just smiled softly and gave her a peck on the cheek and bid her goodnight.
When she made it to Sunday evening without any development on the Caleb front, she decided it was time to throw herself a pity party. She threw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt, prepared an unhealthy amount of snacks and began to get ready to settle down on the living room couch to marathon romance movies.
A moment later, her parents entered the living room, looking crisp in formal wear. Her mother was in a black, long sleeved dress and heels and her father looked handsome as ever in a black suit. They were going out to dinner to celebrate Valentine's Day, which didn't help her mood in no way whatsoever.
"You sure you don't want to come out with us sweetheart?" her mother asked, as she fixed the silver necklace around her neck, giving her a soft, yet worried look as she did.
"And what"—she scoffed—"crash my parents' Valentine's Day dinner? I'd like to think I'm not that pathetic."
"O-kay," her father said, clapping his hands together. "This feels to me like a hot chocolate emergency."
With those words, he swiftly turned around and walked into the kitchen, taking cups out of the overhead cabinets, filling them with water and placing them in the microwave. As the water heated, he rummaged in yet another cabinet for marshmallows, coming out successful in his quest a moment later. Rhea trudged in moments afterwards and sat down on the kitchen counter as she continued to watch her father make the hot chocolates like she'd had a hundred times over. Her mother took her heels off and silently made her way upstairs, knowing the hot chocolate was some sort of sacred routine between the father and daughter. Rhea loved her all the more for it.
After only a few minutes, her father slid a steaming mug full of hot chocolate and mini marshmallows towards her and watched her carefully until she took a tentative sip.
"There you go," he said, giving her a grin that made him look a lot younger. "There's nothing a cup of hot chocolate can't fix."
When he reached for his own cup, she asked, "You sure you want to drink that now? You'll be too full to eat later."
He gave her a soft smile. "I'll always have room for hot chocolate."
She smiled at his words and the meaning behind them. Once again, her chest was filled with warmth at knowing her family always had her back. "Remember when I used to have nightmares because of that Harry Potter movie and you used to make me hot chocolate?"
"Of course," he said, "those are my favorite memories from your childhood. I know that you and your mother have always been closer, it's inevitable really, the bond between two women. But I loved that you chose to entrust those moments in me, that you trusted me to comfort you."
"Dad," she whispered, "of course I did. I still do."
"Tell me, then," he said. "Why the long face?"
"It's just..."—she let out a sigh—"this soulmate business is trickier than I thought it would be. I mean, what's the point in knowing you're meant to be with someone if you can't be with them?"
"Oh, honey... love isn't meant to be easy. You're supposed to fight tooth and nail for it if you have to. I know this isn't what you want to hear but if it's easy, that just means it's not worth it." He let out a chuckle. "God knows it was anything but easy with your mom. We didn't get together for months and when we did, it wasn't exactly a walk in the park. The thing is, you just have to fight for each other, not against."
As Rhea was processing these words, her mother walked into the kitchen, her heels still in her hands. She came to stand next to her father and rested a hand against his abdomen as she asked softly, "Are you ready to go, my love? The reservation is in fifteen minutes."
Her father looked at Rhea for a moment and when she gave him a nod, he softly pecked his wife on the cheek and said he was.
When her mother leaned on her father for support as she put on her heels and he in turn immediately wrapped an arm around her waist, Rhea couldn't help but ask, "Why is it that I'm not feeling as sick as before when you guys are all sweet with each other?"
Her parents smiled at each other knowingly. Finally, her mother said, "Being in love does that to you."
She scoffed. "Yeah? Well, being in love sucks."
They both chuckled at that. "Give it time, sweetie."
After her parents left, the house was too quiet which got Rhea's thoughts up and running again.
She thought about how unbelievable it was that in the course of five seconds, six months ago, what she'd thought to be fairytales had become her reality. She'd started falling in love with a faceless ghost from that first moment she'd seen the white kitchen counter through his eyes.
In the six months that followed, her life had changed so drastically. She'd got into her first real relationship. Got her heart broken. Fell in love. When she looked back on the things she'd gone through, she realized how foolish some of her mistakes had been, how blind she'd been. Still, they'd shaped her into the person she was now. She'd learned to stand up for herself. She'd learned to tell apart infatuation from love, even if it'd taken her experiencing both to be able to tell the difference.
Now that she was in love, all that she wanted was to be with the person she loved, have the kind of love she'd witnessed between her parents growing up.
Before she pressed play on the first romantic comedy of the night, she thought that if this soulmate business was as magical as her parents had made it out to be throughout her entire childhood, Caleb would be outside her door right this instant.
Just as she was about to doze off on the couch after having spent the past hour halfheartedly watching a particularly sappy romance story, she jerked awake at the sound of a knock on the door. Three short raps and she sat up faster than she'd ever had.
Her last thoughts came rushing back to her. However, she was hesitant to get her hopes up. The entire week had been one of letdowns and she didn't want to sign herself up for another. Tentatively making her way to the door, she peeked through the peephole.
The sight that greeted her made her heart skip a beat.
Still not entirely believing it, she swung open the door and asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I bought you coffee," he said, holding out one of the two Styrofoam cups to her. His hair was tousled from the wind and his cheeks were flushed. There was a boyish nervousness in his features that let her know this was it. This was the moment she'd been waiting for.
She smiled a smile so big, her eyes almost crinkled shut.
Caleb seemed bemused at the notion. Cocking his head to the side and scrutinizing her, he said, "You're not glaring at me."
"I'm not," she said. Her smile grew bigger, even though she hadn't thought it was possible. "We did agree to become friends, didn't we?"
"But..." he hesitated for a brief moment before he added, "friends don't go knocking on each other's doors with romantic gestures."
As his nervousness visibly grew and he began to shuffle his feet, she couldn't help but tease him a little bit. "This is your idea of a romantic gesture? You really got to step up your game, Archer."
Panic, horror and disappointment flooded his features all at once as he deflated a little bit, his shoulders sagging. "I thought it'd be...meaningful. You know, two times I didn't buy you coffee and the third time I did? I'm sorry, this is stupid."
She couldn't help but let out a laugh at that. He perked up once again at the sound, looking up at her with a rueful grin on his face. When she reached for the cup of coffee he'd extended to her a minute ago, his grin turned into the warmest smile she'd seen.
"It's not," she said softly. "Come on."
With that, she opened the door widely and stepped aside to let him in.
When they made their way into the living room, she gathered the blanket she'd been cuddling up in only minutes ago to make room for the two of them on the couch.
As they sat down, suddenly it felt so surreal that Caleb was here, on her living room couch that she found herself reaching for his wrist, only to make sure he was real, that he really was there.
His wrist was cold against her fingers, and she found herself sitting there, just looking at her fingers wrapped around his wrist as a warm current travelled up them to every limb in her body. They sat like that for long enough that his wrist was no longer cold, and her fingers were no longer scorchingly warm against it.
When she gingerly released her grip and looked up, she realized that Caleb's gaze had also been on her fingers. He raised his eyes to hers a second later and she saw something warm there. A mixture of adoration, lust and what she hoped was traces of love.
Not taking his eyes off her, he cleared his throat and said, "I came to talk and I'm going to talk a lot. I have this entire speech prepared so please just listen, okay?"
"Okay," she breathed.
"This first part is the part you probably don't want to hear anything about, but I need you to hear them, okay?" When she gave a silent nod, he took a deep breath and started talking. "Yasmine and I started dating when we were fifteen. It wasn't that we gradually fell in love over years of friendship. It was years of friendship, a rush of hormones and the comforting sense of familiarity. What we had was nice. But there's one thing I realized about it lately. We never fought. For three whole years, until the very end, we never once fought. You may think that's a good thing, but to me, it just meant there was no passionate feelings there. We just threaded on this middle ground and when there finally was a fight, it wasn't to hold on. It was to let go. With you? God, from day one you never ceased to put up a fight with me. Remember when I spilled water on your book and you completely flipped out on me?"
She chuckled softly at the memory. "Yeah well, it was my favorite book and you were being a little shit about it."
He shook his head in amusement at her wording of that day's events. "You know by now I'm cranky and sarcastic when I'm sleep deprived. That's not the point though. The point is, the fire I saw in your eyes that day nudged awake something inside me that I didn't even notice until months later when you were giving me a piece of your mind on your front porch."
"And what part was that?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
"The part of me that wanted something more than familiar—the part that wanted the exciting, thrilling, scary... You are all those things and more, Rhea."
"You sure didn't act like you wanted anything to do with me for those first couple of weeks, much less be with me."
"I'm good at putting up fronts, Rhea. Every single day I spent at this school, I put up fronts." He took another deep breath, just like he always did whenever he was about to talk about something that wasn't particularly easy for him. "I might not have been entirely truthful about why I chose to go to Lincoln instead of Rockwood with the rest of my friends. It wasn't that the commute was shorter. It was because Rockwood is a private school and the rest of my friends either had scholarships or the money for it. I had neither so it was Lincoln for me. I hated it though. I didn't want to make new friends. So I kept to myself.
"After my father left and I had to step up to his role, I didn't have time to socialize, anyway. So I solidified the fronts I'd put up; I was content with letting no one in. That is until you came along. I still for the life of me can't figure out how you managed to weasel your way in. You were all sunshine and smiles and when you came through that door in the supermarket, I was so sad to see my two worlds collide. I didn't want you to pity me. But you didn't. You made jokes about it and God, it made me fall for you little by little, even if I was too blind to realize it at the time."
"When exactly did you realize that? No, wait—tell me about when you realized my feelings first."
Another deep breath. "I started noticing things after the Halloween get-together. Not just the looks, but also the way you guys would be talking about something at lunch and then you'd just stop as soon as I arrived at the table. It happened one too many times for me not to think you were talking about me. But I didn't want to assume stuff, you know? It was before Christmas break that I knew. When you pulled out that present out of your locker and it was wrapped neatly and you were so nervous your hands were shaking. Do you remember how I got all weird and walked away afterwards?"—she gave a nod—"I was just so goddamn confused by that hug. My body was reacting to you in ways it wasn't supposed to. My heart was racing and my blood was thumping in my ears and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. I felt guilty. I felt so guilty because what I had with Yasmine...it was familiar and nice, but it never made my blood rush like that. I don't know if saying that makes me an asshole, it might, but that day wasn't only when I knew you had feelings for me, but also when I knew I might feel something for you too."
"Might?" she asked. She knew she was fishing for a confession of some sort, but she was past the point of caring.
He shook his head as if he couldn't believe she'd even had to ask. His voice was soft as he said, "Rhea, I do. I feel so much for you. But I'm going to hold off on the words, okay? Until I know we're both ready to hear them."
She nodded. She wasn't disappointed, not really. On the contrary, those words gave her the encouragement to say what she had in mind, as well.
"I have something to say too," she said. When he looked at her intently to let her know that whatever it was, she had his full attention, she said, "I don't want to start a relationship with you right away." After a moment, she added, "I want you to woo me."
Caleb let out a startled, booming laugh at her words.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked, feigning annoyance, though the corners of her lips were pulling up in a poorly concealed smile.
"You—you want me to—" He wheezed midsentence, choking on the words as he tried to get his breathing and laughter under control. Rhea waited patiently for him to cool down. To his credit, he managed to keep a straight face as he said half a minute later, "You want me to woo you," even though his eyes were still alight with amusement.
"I do." She nodded, looking serious. She'd given this a lot of thought in the past week. Even though by now there was no doubt in her mind that she was irrevocably in love with Caleb, she also knew she wanted to have it all—and yes, that included the thrill of dating.
"What exactly does that entail?" he asked, mirroring her expression of seriousness.
"For starters, you have to take me out on dates. And buy me chocolate...lots of chocolate." Warmth spread from her neck to her cheeks before she said the next words, "and kiss me any chance you get."
"Hershey's, was it?" he asked. When she looked at him with confusion, he elaborated, "That's what you got? That night you came into the supermarket?"
"It was." She smiled, butterflies filling her stomach like they always did anytime he admitted to remembering little things about her.
"Now, about that other bit..." he trailed off, grinning at her momentarily, but turning serious almost right away.
She let out a shaky breath as she saw the intent in his eyes, which were now flickering between her eyes and her mouth. The butterflies in her stomach started thrashing around violently and she held her breath completely as she surveyed his features. Caleb's eyes looked darker in the dim light of the room, his dark eyelashes fanned against his cheeks every time he cast his gaze toward her lips.
Before he leaned in, he let his fingers trace her features. His eyes closely followed his fingers wherever they went as he traced the apple of her cheeks, the slope of her nose, the bow of her upper lip... Once again, there was contrast between their skins—Rhea's face was burning up against Caleb's cold fingertips. After what felt like an eternity, he breathed out a long sigh and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.
"Do you feel that?" he asked, his breath fanning against her lips, making a shiver run up her spine.
"What?" she asked, her voice low.
He closed his eyes briefly before he opened them to look in her eyes. The emotions swirling in them were even more intense now than they'd been a moment ago, if that was even possible. Finally, he spoke in a hoarse whisper, "The world shifting. Because I want you, Rhea. In this very reality. There is nothing I want more than to kiss you right now."
All nervousness left her as she broke into a soft smile. She breathed her next words against his lips. "Then quit being cheesy and kiss me."
He didn't have to be asked twice.
As soon as it happened, Rhea knew she'd forever remember the moment their lips met for the first time.
It wasn't that they kissed like they'd been doing it ever since the beginning of time or that their lips fit together like they were two pieces of a puzzle. They did fumble a little bit and their lips were both a little bit chapped from the cold. What she knew would forever be ingrained in her memory was the way Caleb kissed her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. The way he held her face in both his hands with utmost care, like she was a porcelain doll that would break at the littlest of pressures. In all her life, she'd wanted to be treated like the strong, independent person that she was but in that moment, the way she was being held like the most delicate of beings was exactly what she needed.
After pulling back ever so slightly to look into her eyes, he gently kissed her lips. Then again, and then some more.
A moment later, he pulled her closer by the waist so that both her legs were overlapping his left thigh, not breaking apart from her as he did so. His kisses were soft, yet somehow they still carried an undertone of urgency, as if he'd gone without them for way too long and was now trying to make up for lost time. He tangled one of his hands in her hair at the same time their kiss became openmouthed and erratic until they were both pulling at each other, trying to take as much as they could, all the while giving little pieces of themselves away to the other as well.
That was when Rhea's fingers found their way into Caleb's hair for the first time and as soon as they did, she let out a soft sigh against his lips. She'd spent so many afternoons in class just stealing glances at Caleb's profile, trying to hold herself back from reaching out to smooth his hair away from his temple that even in the midst of the most intense and intimate moment of her life to date, she managed to appreciate the soft feel of his dark curls against her fingertips.
They broke apart not too long after and this time it was her who leaned in slightly to rest her forehead against his. Suddenly he broke into a smile, his entire face lighting up. Rhea couldn't have kept her own smile at bay if she'd tried.
"What is it?" she asked, pulling away just slightly to look him in the eyes as her hands moved from his hair to his shoulders to steady herself.
"I have something for you," he said. Without moving away from her, he twisted away a little toward where he'd discarded his coat when he first walked in. He rummaged through his coat and in the pocket that looked suspiciously bulgy, he found what he was looking for.
As soon as he started pulling it out, she knew what it was and she couldn't help but grin at the sight.
"I believe this belongs to you," he said, turning around once again to face her and holding her scarf in his hand.
She reached out to take it but instead of handing it over, he draped it over her neck and used the ends to tug her closer, fitting his mouth against hers.
He kissed her once, then twice.
As she relaxed against him once more and wound her arms around his neck, she had a thought that she knew deep in her bones was true.
This had to be what magic felt like.
•THE END•
A/N: Oh wow. I gotta say, completing this chapter was definitely one of the most emotional experiences I've had in a long while. THE was my first novel ever and I've connected to these characters and their story so much in the past six months.
This is not yet the end, there will be an epilogue.
I hope you liked this. Thank you so much for all your support throughout, you made this experience truly unforgettable.
May we meet again,
-Safiye.
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