The next morning, after Taylor and I stumbled back to the Ravenclaw dormitories the night prior and discovered that we were roommates, we make our way down to History of Magic. Taylor practically had to force me onto the moving stairs, but after a reminder that we only had four minutes until we would be late, I complied. We manage to throw ourselves into a third-row table before I look around and realize that this is a joint class - with Slytherin.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that Taylor is sitting completely still as if she has also just become aware of her surroundings.
"Where is he?" I ask, taking note of how painfully straight my posture is right now.
"Two aisles to the right, one row ahead of us," Taylor dutifully reports, albeit a bit stiffly. I toss my gaze in that direction and it slams head-on into Draco's. He is turned so that his body is completely facing mine, that smirk looking more inviting each time I see it. Even though I know he saw me looking at him, I rip my eyes away from his and train them carefully on the vacant podium at the head of the classroom.
The rest of the room's constant speaking and shuffling dies down into a dull drone, but if I could hear Draco's eyes on me, it would be ear-shatteringly loud. As much as my mind wants to focus on anything but him, it would take a much stronger person than myself to resist his pull. Even after class begins and Professor Binns starts his lecture, my eyes are itching to return to his.
After the whirlwind that my life has been since I stepped foot off of the train yesterday, a boy should really be the last thing on my mind. There's just something about his obvious interest in me when he seems to hate everyone else that makes me curious about him. I try to take notes, following along with the lecture and forcing myself to focus. It's my first class on my first day. I can't let a boy distract me now.
"Malfoy is like... blatantly staring at you," Taylor whispers ten minutes into class. I had almost been able to focus before she mentioned it. Now I'm fighting a losing battle with my own mind, begging myself to just sneak a glance in his direction.
"Should I look?" I ask, adjusting my body again with the fresh reminder of my audience. I lift my chin and toss my hair, but keep my eyes firmly on Binns. Taylor rolls hers.
"No, you should not," she tells me, with enough finality that I actually try and listen to her. My mind repeats each word as soon as the professor says them, concentrating so hard that I can't concentrate at all. Eventually, the weight that came with Draco's stare lifts and I'm positive he isn't looking anymore. Now in the clear, I dare to look toward him.
Draco is whispering to the boy beside him, animatedly raising his eyebrows and using his hands to make his point, whatever it may be. I watch him for a moment, wondering how someone with such a soft face and an easy smile could be so renowned for being cruel.
I watch while he adjusts the hood of his robes and leans back in his chair, spreading his legs out in front of him and crossing his arms. When he looks back at me again, I don't expect it. He catches me with my chin sitting in my open palm, full-frontally and unapologetically staring at him. Instead of poking fun, he just smiles at me. Not a smirk, not half smirk half smile. Just a genuine, simple smile.
My smile is way too eager, and I have to drop my face back down to my notes to keep from giggling. A moment later when I look back his direction he is facing forward again, but I can see a toothy grin plastered on his face.
After class, I have to fight the urge to pack my things too slowly in hopes that I might run into Draco. It feels incredibly juvenile, so instead, I fill my bag with moderate quickness and funnel out into the hallway with Taylor and the rest of our classmates.
"So," Taylor starts, giving me the strained smile that she's been using when anything involving Draco pops up. "did you have fun in there?"
I roll my eyes and bump her while we walk, making her stumble and both of us laugh. I feel bad, though. Most of our friendship so far has had my budding crush on Draco looming overhead, something that seems to make Taylor bite her tongue a bit harder each time it comes up. Our friendship must be more than that.
"In celebration of our first day of classes and our new status as roommates, I say we sneak some sweets from the Great Hall tonight and have a girls night," I suggest as we make our way to Transfiguration. Taylor looks up from her feet and smiles so widely that it runs out of room on her face and hops over to mine.
"Couldn't agree more," she says, still grinning.
***
Later that evening, after the sun has set and many of our classmates have gone to bed, Taylor and I try to muffle our laughter in the Ravenclaw common room.
"You can't be serious," I demand, wiping tears away from the corners of my eyes. She's just finished telling me a story of her dog at the foster home getting into her stash of Pepper Imps from Honeydukes.
"Deadly," Taylor confirms, clutching her chest. "When I caught him, he'd already swallowed a whole handful of them. Burped fire for a week!"
I scrunch up my nose in disgust and say, "Never liked those things. I'm more of a taffy girl."
"I don't care for them either, I only got them because they were my dad's favorite," Taylor tells me, sniffing back her laughter. I watch as her smile falls slowly from her face as her mind races. After talking for hours, we haven't really gotten very far into her backstory. All I know of is the foster home, which isn't really much. I decide quickly that we are close enough to dig deeper.
"You knew your dad?" I ask quietly, still smiling in a way that I hope she finds encouraging. Taylor shakes her head, eyes trained on the floor beneath us.
When she looks up at me, her expression is guarded as she says, "My mum left me a letter when she dropped me at Wool's orphanage. It doesn't tell me who they are, but it tells me things about them."
I give it a moment before asking, "What kinds of things?"
There are wheels turning in her mind, evident by the way she looks everywhere but in my eyes. I'm not sure she's ever told anyone these things, and I am honored to be the one to hear them. Mingling with the honor, though, is anxiety for my friend, who is clearly fighting an internal battle. It seems that the side in favor of sharing deep dark secrets wins out in the end, and Taylor snuggles down in her blue armchair before speaking.
"Mum writes that when I was born, they weren't together. She and dad, I mean. She had no one, and she couldn't take care of me on her own." Taylor says shakily. When she looks at me for encouragement, I smile warmly and lean slightly forward in my seat.
"My mum was a Hufflepuff, her name's Rosemary... Dad was a Slytherin, unnamed." she continues, tugging on the ends of her hair. "After they left Hogwarts, she says that dad sort of... shifted. This was back when You-Know-Who was still at large, and my father aligned himself with the dark side. He left my mum and me when I was only weeks old and never came back. He's still a death eater I reckon. I've never heard a word from either of them, other than my mum's letter."
Taylor's unearthed secret hangs above our heads, permeating the air in the common room like the stale smell of an old attic. From my perch on a loveseat about eight feet from Taylor's chair, I can see that her eyes are shining with tears. Her father... he's why she is so opposed to Slytherins. She probably thinks Malfoy would up and abandon me if we started something ourselves.
I decide quickly, with the feeling of Taylor's secret still coating my skin, that I will tell her what I discovered about my parents.
"My mum and dad were Slytherins, too," I tell her, trying my best to smile in light of the melancholic atmosphere around us. Taylor looks up at me with a furrowed brow and opens her mouth to speak, before confusing herself and closing it again. I get that feeling.
"Dumbledore told me last night after I was sorted," I explain, stretching my arms above my head. Our dynamic has shifted from distant when Taylor told her secret, back to normal when I told mine. Taylor doesn't feel alone anymore and my heart feels warmer.
Despite herself, my friend grins while she readjusts her position in her chair, moving from an almost cowering fetal position to stretched out with her legs draped over the chair's arm. She tilts her head back to look at the stars on the ceiling and I follow suit, finding a few constellations. Blush crawls onto my cheeks when I find Draco, tracing my eyes over all of its stars. Of course, someone as magnificent as the King of Snakes is named after a constellation.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Taylor says, "I'm glad you're here, Lex. Fifth year is brutal, I'm not sure I could've gotten through it if you didn't come along."
I smile at my friend in the firelight, thinking of my life a week ago versus today. Then, I was traipsing around my London flat, completely friendless and wondering if Hogwarts was all it was cracked up to be. Tonight, I sit with my best friend, proudly donning a blue and bronze jumper and snacking on treacle tarts that we snuck out of the Great Hall; which was no easy feat, and I spent a full minute scrubbing my hands free of the sticky syrup. But although we were sticky and tired from our five classes, I had never been so content in my life.