The church was enormous. Painted white with red and navy blue chairs that were so comfortable. I couldn't believe a church could be so beautifully decorated, it looked like a house and I already felt at home with the beautiful worship session.
The praise and worship leader led with such crescendo that by the end of the praises, I was at a point of Ecstasy. It was hypnotic! I had spent such a long time away from church services that I had forgotten what exactly it felt like to be in the presence of God.
Kunbi leaned towards me and whispered " wait till you hear testimonies and the message. Our pastor is anointed"
"shh!" Kunbi's mum hushed, leaning towards us from my other side.
"Stop talking in the house of God" she said calmly.
I lowered my head shyly while Kunbi tried to protest but his mum did not give him the opportunity to, as she relaxed back in her sit to my left.
A line of testifiers had lined up and one after the other, they told about the wonders of God.
"praise God!" one of the testifiers who was a woman said "I want to testify of the wonders of God in my life. I was diagnosed with breast cancer the same time I was confirmed pregnant after 5 years of marriage. I told God that I needed a miracle and that I wanted to be healed before the birth of my child. It seemed so impossible as time was running out but I want to thank God because 5 months ago I gave birth to my baby and was tested cancer free."
Immediately she finished her testimony, the church erupted with claps and shouts of joy. I was dazed! Other testifiers came up and each had on striking thing to say about God.
Could this really happen? Was it magic or is God real and able to give miracles? But he allowed the accident to happen. Could he now heal my dad?
I was confused on what to think or believe. I wanted to believe in the God of miracles but something was holding me back.
"Jeremiah 29:11-12 : for I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you" the pastor read out as he climbed the altar to preach.
I followed his reading as I clutched tight to the Bible in my hands. It was a new Bible Kunbi's mum handed to me in the morning. "it's a gift" she said and when I looked down at the Bible uncomfortably, she quickly added " I hope you would one day understand it and find peace in it"
I read the two verses over and over again trying to make sense of it. was my dad's accident all part of the good plan of God for my life? Because if it was then it was a terrible plan"
I lifted up my eyes to the pastor as he continued preaching
" I know that sometimes, if not most times, we do not see how the plan of God is 'good' for us. Sometimes we can't see how exactly that plan fits into our lives"
Yes! Yes! Explain further I thought.
"but the way of God is not the way of man." he continued. "Every disappointment is for an appointment and God uses all these circumstances to make us strong and to draw us closer to him"
I was even more confused.. How??
" Remember Joesph in the Bible.. What was he called -ha! The king of dreams. I had this video called Joseph king of dreams that I usually played for my little boy and he will come and say to me 'daddy I want to be a dreamer just like Joseph' " The pastor said mimicking his son and the church laughed.
"Joseph did nothing wrong? He was a good boy." the pastor proceeded more seriously. "He helped around the house, in fact, he was the little boy his father loved so much and his father made a coat of many colours just for Joseph. Somebody say Joseph"
"Joseph!" The church chorused.
"now Joseph was sold as a slave by his brothers and even if Joseph was dutiful and faithful he was thrown into prison in Egypt. He was a committed slave, who won the heart of his master but it wasn't just the heart of the master, he also won the heart of the masters wife." the congregation laughed at his statement.
"But let me tell you something! If Joseph wasn't thrown into prison, he wouldn't have met the cup bearer and the cook, he wouldn't have interpreted their dreams and guess what? he wouldn't have become the Prime Minister of Egypt later on and he wouldn't have saved nations during the great famine. I am sure that when Joseph was sold and when he was imprisoned, he must have wondered what the plan of God was for him."
"hmm!" the congregation hummed in agreement.
"I know there is someone here who is angry with God, you feel he has let you down, you think his plan has ruined you. You believe there is no hope or there is no God but let me tell you something! His plans for you is to prosper you and not to harm you If you are that person here I want to tell you that you can reconcile with God and God loves you"
"yes!" the congregation chorused and I couldn't help but nod my head.
"John 3:16- For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. That whosoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life. If God could sacrifice his son for you thousands of years ago then be rest assured that he will do anything for you." The pastor paused and scanned the congregation "Is there someone here that needs that eternal life?"
I was torn on the inside. It all finally made sense to me and I was in pain. Pain because I blaimed God for my dad's accident when in fact I should have been praying for him.
"If you want to reconcile with God today can you kindly walk out here to the front. Jesus wants to encounter you today. Common! Walk out boldly and receive the gift of his salvation." the pastor said as the choir led a solemn song that caused goosebumps on my skin.
I was heart broken for my ignorance and for all the bitter accusations I had made at God. Tears clouded my eyes and without clearing them I carefully made my way out, walking slowly till I got to the altar.
"yes! Heaven is rejoicing for you" the pastor said aloud while the church clapped on to encourage me and others who joined me in the front.
I shut my eyes as the pastor led us through a personal confession. The rest of the service was a haze! The interview we had after the service rushed by quickly. I found my way to the car where Kunbi's parents and Kunbi stood waiting for me.
As I approached, Kunbi's mum hurried to meet me and pulled me into a big hug.
"sweetheart I am so proud of you." I nodded my head against the soft cotton gown she was wearing.
"okay let's get going and I owe you a big bucket of ice cream" she added as she pulled away from the hug.
We got into the car with me perched at the back sit with Kunbi. I was quiet all through the ride home, using the silence as an opportunity to sort out my heart for God. All the hatred and anger I had, had dissolved and was replaced with a wonderful feeling of wholeness.
Kunbi tenderly wrapped my left hand in his right and offered a warm smile before he looked back out the window with his hand still over mine. It was as if he knew I wanted to be quiet and I needed time to sort Myself. I was grateful for the fact that he understood me perfectly well.
Immediately we arrived home I skipped lunch and just went straight to the guest room where I was staying.
Crumbling on the bed I closed my eyes and imagined Jesus welcoming me into his arms and whispering promises to me that he will never leave me.
I turned on my back and looked up at the ceiling.
"Lord, thank you for this new gift of salvation which you have given me. Thank you for this peace and joy I have received. I am new to this Lord but I need your help. Help my faith, help me to trust you always and trust your plans for my life. Help dad too God and please give us our very own miracle."
I recited Jeremiah 29:11 again and went ahead to highlight it in my new Bible.
"Hey, you got time" Kunbi asked from the door way.
I sat up briefly to look at him, he was still in his Sunday outfit- a black solid suit pant, a black Ralph Lauren dress shirt and a brown Italian leather shoe.
"yeah! come in"
he walked briskly towards me holding his I-pod "I don't mean to disturb you but i have something i would like you to listen to"
"Okay?" I stretched my right hand and he handed the I pod to me with his beats headphone.
"Its a song- 'my heart is overwhelmed' by Hillsong. You don't have to like it, but i always listen to the song when i need to remember what God has done for me. The song kinda reconnects me to God so, i thought you might like it.
i smiled at him before plugging on the headphones "thank you Kay."
"please don't thank me.. i will just leave you to yourself now" he said and backed out of the room.
I returned to my position on the bed and touched play. Soon, the melodious song filled my ears and my mind as the wordings of the song sunk deep into me.
A smile crept to my face and I realized it was my first genuine smile since the accident.
Maybe things were going to change after all, but for the best and not the worst I presumed.
Thank you for reading. I attached the song above, please check it out. I am sure you will enjoy it. Please Like and comment.
-Unini