A knock came from my door and I sat up wiping the final tears from my eyes. Luckily I had no make-up on so nothing would smear. Too bad my face was beat red so you could tell I was crying.
"Come in." I said quietly. The door opened and Sarah walked in.
"Anast- Anya." She said warmly with a smile on her face.
"Dinner's ready if you want to come and eat." I nodded. She came over tothe bed and sat down. "I know I'm not your mom." She started and a pain was sent through me. "I know that for sure, but I really want to be like one. I know I'll never be able to replace her, but now since you're living here I really want to help you feel as comfortable as possible." I looked towards her and her delicate finger came up and wiped a tear I didn't notice fell.
"Thanks." I said cracking a smile. She smiled back.
"Now Anya get up and you can meet Toby." I pushed myself off the bed and made my way out the room and followed Sarah. She started naming the rooms in the hallway so I could get a feel for the place. Once we descended the staircase... well the second staircase. A totally different one then I had walked up earlier.
"Anya this is Toby and his girlfriend Nadine." We walked into the dining room. A huge oak table had food all along it. Around the table were set five chairs. John was in the one at the other end of the table and on the right side sat a guy and a girl who I assumed was Toby and Nadine.
"Nice to meet you." Toby said. He nodded towards me and then I looked next to him to Nadine.
"Nice to meet you Anya." She said and a smile appeared on her face.
"Nice to meet you both." I told them as I took a seat on the left across from Nadine. Sarah took the one closer to John and then the feast began... well for them. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and all sorts of stuff was on the table. One by one the bowls and plates were passed and you'd take the portion that you wanted. I kept passing the plates down and when the bread basket came around being the final basket I looked down at my snow white plate. Not a single crumb lay on it. I took the smallest piece of bread and set it on my plate and then passed the basket across the table to Nadine.
"You're not anorexic are you?" She asked eyeing my plate. I shook my head.
"I'm just not hungry." I told her. She nodded and took the butter and buttered her piece of bread.
"Anya now are you looking for a specific thing for colleges or anything?" I turned to face John.
"Actually I'm trying to a career in dance." He stopped eating.
"Dance?" He questioned. I nodded.
"I've been dancing for awhile. Since I was 3 exactly." I said biting the tiny piece of bread that lay in my plate.
"Nothing well more..." He paused to think his word choice over. "Productional." I set the piece of bread back down.
"I like to dance and that's what I'm good at. I want to do something I like for the rest of my life." The room was surprisingly quiet. Nobody was talking. All were enveloped into our conversation.
"Well then that's a very good reason." he said lying obviously. He was a man of business and obviously didn't approve of my choice. "Since 3. Wow that's a very long time." I pushed myself up from the table and all eyes were on me.
"Yeah. You would know that. Oh wait no you wouldn't because you left the day after I was born." I hissed and walked away from the room leaving John speechless and everyone else exchanging glances. I made my way through the house up to my room and once I got there I closed the door and locked it.
I made my way over the bathroom and when I walked in I stripped from my clothes and walked into the shower. The water was steaming and I stepped in and let the water wash my feelings and horrible thoughts.
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When I got out of the shower my mind was clear.I towel dried my hair and then slipped into a pair of pajamas and sat on the bed under the covers. I brushed my hair through until it was smooth. When done I grabbed my notebook and scribbled a few things down. When I was done with that I turned off the light on the desk next to the bed and stared out the window into the blackness of the night.
"I know you're out there." I whispered. "I miss you." I said aloud. I hugged my knees closer to my body. I put my chin on my knees and continued. "It's hard without you. The man I thought would be greatest in my life doesn't even think that dance is a good career." Surprisingly no tears fell from my eyes. I let out a deep breath and then continued once again.
"Dance is my life and I don't give a shit what he thinks and if he has the courage to tell me no then I'm leaving. Mom... I miss you. You told me everything I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. Why'd you have to go?"
I laid down and stretched out my legs and pulled the pillow close to the head.
"Why?" I asked again to the darkness of the room.