Chapter Nine:
Panic
The dream from last night still haunted me as we trudged along the trail of the Stag. The parched air of the Fire Bog soon turned into the cool, sharp air of mountains. Ice glittered in the sunlight, hanging off trees, growing on rocks, and even shooting up straight from the ground. The only sound was the wind whistling between the mountain passes. No one said it out loud, but we all had the same thing in mind. With the Stag's trail so thick before us it would only be a matter of time before we ran into another hunting party. One that was alive this time.
My mouth tasted like ashes. The dream was so real; almost like my family was trying to remind me who I was. But the Stag's appearance only made Soren's words the other night replay over and over in my head. Shame ate at my insides as I remembered waking up with my head pressed against Soren's chest. Even after the terrifying dream his presence lulled me into a sense of safety. And that can't happen. I can't get attached. I've spent too long fighting to accept it now. But I hadn't left when given the chance, either.
I closed my eyes, allowing Panic to steer me. The horse was smart enough not to get himself in a trap.
"You shouldn't think about it so much." My shoulders tensed at the sound of Soren's voice.
"How do you always know what I'm thinking about?"
His lips quirked. "You get this look on your face whenever you're worrying over something. It's almost too hard not to notice. Also because I know how you work. You really need to loosen up."
"Loosen up?" Acid dripped from my tone. "I am loosened up."
All he did was raise an eyebrow.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
I rolled my eyes. "Look, I just don't want to talk to you right now."
Soren shook his head, his unbound, long white hair rippled like a wave. "It's a tough thing to realize, isn't it? I don't envy you."
"I haven't realized anything." I wish I believed those words as strongly as I said them. But roots begun to dig deep into this world, into Soren, and I wasn't sure that severing them was worth the pain. I peered at Soren again. His hair was whiter than the pristine snow coating the ground and even his thick hunting furs did nothing to hide the strong build of his body. His long, delicate fingers clutched at his horse's reins, easily navigating the treacherous mountain path. There was a sharpness in his purple eyes as he gazed up into the sky. That body shielded me from the cold, those hands kept me from hurting myself, those eyes burned with fury at the sight of me in danger. Something strange stirred in my chest and I turned away.
"You know what the best thing about being a goblin is?" Soren asked. When I didn't respond, he continued. "You can't lie to yourself."
I didn't dignify that with an answer.
Hunger gnawed my insides and I thought back to the last time I'd had any real food. In the Erlking's palace I drank a goblet of nectar, but that wouldn't keep me going forever and the effects were wearing off rapidly after the race through the Fire Bog. I needed real food and I needed it soon. Permafrost or not, I needed to eat like every other being. I eyed the saddlebag on Soren's horse. It was soaked red with blood from the fox they'd caught earlier. The goblins ripped into the animal raw and were carrying the still-eatable remains.
"You can have it if you want." Soren followed my gaze. "You'll have to eat something sooner or later."
"I'd rather eat toadstools," I retorted.
From ahead, Elvira halted her snow cat and whipped around. "Be quiet. We're in enemy territory, I can smell them and with all the bantering you two are doing, they can probably do more than smell us. Honestly, Soren, I expected the type of amateur thing from her but you're just a disappointment."
My muscles clenched as I tasted the air. Yes, she was right. Definitely goblin stench, but from who, I couldn't tell. Goblins didn't make prey lines, but even so I cast my eyes to the ground, hoping to find something that could help us. Instead, there was the same mess of green and blue that blended into the icy pathways and the harsh whiteness of the sun glinting off the mountain rocks.
Soren gave an easy smile. "We can handle anything."
Elvira huffed. "Maybe, for now Rekke can ride by you and Janneke by me."
Rekke's eyes widened and a blush crept on her cheeks. To make it worse, Soren winked at the young goblin. Dear Gods Above, I can't take this.
If Rekke wanted Soren then she could have him. Better he infuriate someone else.
I nudged Panic forward toward Elvira and her snow cat. The young stallion whinnied nervously at the sight of the animal's sharp fangs. I ran a hand through his mane. I hadn't forgotten that they tried to kill us either. The snow cat bared his teeth at us and Panic struggled to keep his footing. I won't let him hurt you. Even the telepathic link couldn't calm the horse's frantic nerves.
"He doesn't like you," Elvira said with a toss of her raven-black hair.
"I wonder why," I said dryly.
"You do?" She narrowed her brow in confusion.
I sighed. She was even worse than Soren. One hundred years later, it was surprising I could even joke at all at this point. "You're going to be the death of me."
"Yes," she nodded. "I am."
It wasn't what she said that froze my blood, it was how she said it. So simple and emotionless. She could've been ordering lunch for all the difference it would make.
I wasn't about to let her see my shake. I gripped Panic's reins hard and narrowed my eyes. "I have to warn you, I'm notoriously hard to kill."
"I've heard," she snorted. "What did Lydian do to you, again? Rape you half to death and cut off your breast? I'm surprised you're able to show your face."
Heat flashed across my body, lingering on the scar tissue of my chest. It was almost as if his crazed rambling was carried on the wind. Why won't you listen to me? Don't you know what's coming? Don't you get it? What's so special about you? Sweetheart, I wish I could kill you. Invisible ants crawled across my skin as I was brought back to where he'd forced himself on me night after night.
Elvira grinned, knowing she'd hit a nerve.
I shook the pain from my mind before it could take root. "He also will never walk or use his left arm the same way again."
"Soren should've killed you the moment your filthy hand grabbed his robes. Instead he treats you like a pet. Tell me, do you sleep on the foot of his bed or do you curl around his naked body?" She glared back to where he rode with her niece, the two of them engaged in a conversation that looked a lot less dire than ours. Rekke was practically glowing with happiness and Soren's small grin was enough to show that even he couldn't resist the young goblin's enthusiasm. Elvira curled her lip as she watched them.
My eyes widened, finally realizing what Soren meant when he said I 'threatened' Elvira. It wasn't about power or skill. No, this was personal. From the way she ate him up with her eyes and the almost palpable hostility rising from her there was no mistaking it.
"Why do you want to know? So you can wish it was you? That is why you hate me, isn't it? You're in love with Soren."
Her eyes widened but her objection fell away as the mountain pathways opened up before us. The sheer walls dropped from every side, glittering from the cold tundra sun. The paths widened and spiraled high above us like icy vines crisscrossing the sky. I bit my lip; the hair on the back of my neck rising at the exposure. We were sitting ducks if anything went wrong. Whatever Elvira thought about Soren and myself, she wasn't lying when she predicted company was coming.
There were so many places to hide and jump from and all around were loose bits of rock that gave way under the slightest of pressure. The paths were slicked with ice; one wrong move would send us plummeting down into the chasm below.
A high-pitched whistle broke the eerie silence and echoed across the canyon, bouncing off the walls until it surrounded us from all sides. Almost immediately I had my bow in hand, an arrow notched. The whistle came again, so high blood dripped from my ears and the ice hanging above us shattered, raining down shards.
"Get ready," I hissed to Elvira, throwing a glance behind me to make sure Soren was prepared. He was.
Arrows rained down from the sky.
I kicked Panic into a hard gallop, running him across the sheer edges of the icy pathways. My vision blurred at the stream of arrows streaking toward us. There were so many the air was thick with them. I quieted my heart and urged Panic onward down the slippery slope despite the hesitation that filled his every limb.
The pathway twisted into two forks and I took the one leading to higher ground. Soren, right on my tail, nodded toward me and took the other. I unhooked one foot from its stirrup and propped it against the saddle, paying no mind to the vicious rocking back and forth or the shower of rock and ice above me. My eyes scanned the horizon and a flash of bronze caught my gaze. I shot.
A goblin fell out of the sky, tumbling down to the path I raced on. His power slammed into my body but the stinging as it sunk in my skin was nothing compared to the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Below, Rekke had her twin daggers out, standing on the saddle of her racing horse in the world's most dangerous balancing act. She slashed at the two goblins that came up beside her, her moves as graceful as a dance.
Another goblin burst from his crevice and showered down rocks and ice. Panic swerved to avoid the blows and I dug my heel into his side, turning him before he toppled over the mountainside. The goblin raced after us, his speed turning his body into a blur.
"Too cowardly to come out and fight face-to-face?" I taunted, my lips pulled back to bare my teeth. "Is an ambush all you can do? How long did you lay in wait for someone to stumble across your path?"
I didn't wait for an answer, instead freeing my feet and letting go of Panic's reins. I slid down the saddle until I was at level with the goblin and took a swing with my axe. His eyes were black in his gaunt, hollow face, and his features were sharp and wolf-like. Gone was any unearthly beauty he may have possessed—this was the face of a killer. He howled in pain as I hit his side and fear spread through me like cold water as the goblin sprung up onto Panic's back and grappled with me for the reins.
"Who's a coward?" he snarled.
Panic's sides heaved and he slammed his body against the cliff-face. Good boy. I thought. Get him off your back.
The goblin swung at me with a blade that I barely had time to deflect. He pressed down on me, using his weight against mine. The ground beneath Panic's feet came closer and closer to my head.
Wincing in pain as my shoulders brushed against the rocks, I grabbed Panic's cinch and braced myself. The goblin dropped me and my legs hit the path with searing pain as Panic dragged me alone with him. Grunting with effort, I hooked my legs into the cinch and began to inch my way back up to the saddle.
My axe fell somewhere down the cliff side and though my bow and arrows were firmly attached to my back there was no way to reach them. With gritted teeth, I fumbled with the straps on my bracer and pulled out the bent, iron nail.
Before the nail had merely stung. Now it blazed with a type of pain I didn't know existed. Blood trickled in my mouth as I bit down hard on my cheek to keep from screaming. But if it was this bad for me—someone who wasn't even a full goblin—it would be Hel for my attacker. With the last of my strength I swung upward and plunged the nail into his throat. His eyes grew wide and his long-nailed fingers clutched as his throat, scratching until rivets of blood ran down his collarbone. The skin grew black and putrefied, flaking off to expose the muscles and veins underneath. I kicked him off Panic, watching as he fell a thousand feet below. I curled my lips at the smell of burning flesh as I shoved the nail back into the bracer. Dark red marks covered my fingertips.
Adrenaline kicked my senses into overdrive and the power I absorbed reached out wildly to touch the other fighters. Below me, Rekke finished off her last attacker but one of her hands was draped across her bloody belly, holding in her intestines. The young child's laughter never would brighten the forest again. Hatred burned away the pain in my body. She was young, so young. She shouldn't even be on the Hunt and now she would die before ever growing into her own.
I glared as Elvira hacked away at the last of her pursuers with her sword and dagger, not even sparing a glance at her dying niece. She'd got what she wanted. At the very bottom of the trails Soren streaked by on Terror, the dead littered around him like fallen leaves. His face, body, and hair were streaked blood red and the static of power that pounded through him stole the breath from my lungs. The hard muscles in his arms and shoulders rippled with strength. For once, the sight of a blood-covered goblin didn't terrify me.
A horse screamed and I broke out of my daze a moment to late. A dagger was stuck in Panic's eye. He skidded through the ice and fell only to rise and fall again. Blood gushed from his wound and he shrieked as the life drained out of him. I jumped off the horse, my own eye so full of pain I barely stopped myself from ripping it out. My insides turned to fire as the animal connected to my mind died. With my body screaming, I pushed myself upright to find Elvira with an arrow leveled at my heart.
I gripped the cliff face and pulled myself up, staggering at the weight of my own body. From off in the distance someone shouted my name and phantom aches told me to lie down and give in to the cold numbness spreading through me. A single thought broke through the cold.
I will not die. I will not die here in the ice. I will not die here by that woman's blade. I will not die. I will not die unless I take her with me.
I jumped off the side of the ledge, free-falling down and down and down. The wind whipped my face, stealing tears from my eyes. My body was boneless, weightless, melting as I fell through the air onto the unsuspecting goblin below me.
The impact knocked the breath from my lungs and I gasped for air. But I had my hands in Elvira's hair, my legs wrapped around her torso, screeching like a madwoman. The cat reared and fell as in the confusion Elvira's sword stuck through its belly.
We wrestled on the ground, her lengthening nails tearing chunks of skin out of my shoulders, ripped at my clothes. I reached up, digging my fingers into her eye sockets until they were warm with her blood. Rolling over and over, weapons forgotten, I slammed against the dwindling ground. Above me, Elvira's sightless eyes blazed with fury and blood streaked down her once beautiful face.
"You're supposed to die!" She shrieked. "It can't be this hard to kill a pathetic thing like you!"
I grabbed a chunk of rock and bashed her in the head, fighting to get her fingers away from my chest. Once they sunk in it all she had to do was rip my heart out.
"I told you that I was hard to kill!" The taste of her blood in my mouth sent me into a frenzy and I slammed both hands over her ears.
Momentarily deaf, she let go and I scrambled back away from the edge of the cliff. My bow and quiver pressed into my back, mocking me.
Elvira lunged and grabbed at my shoulders with her clawed hands, leaving bloody grooves in my skin. She slammed me against the back of the cliff as ice shards fell around us. I brought my fist down on her crotch and she yowled like a dog, but didn't let go. Blood plastered my face, blinded my eyes, and covered the ledge in a slippery pool.
A sharp stone cut into my back, wetness seeping through the once-fine tunic. Elvira and I rolled until I was facing open air.
"You're not so pretty now." She smiled in a bloody, freakish grin.
"Speak for yourself." I spat blood in her face. In the split second it took for her to regain her bearings, my legs were already wrapped tightly around her torso and my fingers dug deep into the roots of her hair.
"If I'm going to die," I hissed, "then you'll die with me." Then I let myself fall back into the abyss.
AN: Cliffside battle, what do you think? Who here wants to beat me up for killing Rekke?
AN: For more heartbreaking character deaths, check out my new story ASHES COME DAWN!