She was gone.
The world had stopped and my life was over.
Aria wasn't here anymore and all the light had left my life.
All that remained was darkness and grief.
Gone. Just gone.
It had been 6 days since the sun disappeared and an endless night took over.
Today was the day I had to say goodbye.
And I couldn't handle the thought.
Yesterday I went to see her a last time, today we would bury her.
I went with my sister yesterday and I placed the promise ring around her finger, she had never had the time to do it herself.
The nurse who gave her the wrong pills had been arrested and there was an investigation going on.
But nothing could save me.
Nothing could bring her back.
I'd never thought someone could have such an immense influence on my life but that was before I met her.
And now she was dead.
And I felt like I had died with her.
I wasn't able to see any sense in life anymore.
All had stopped when she died.
Time passed but I didn't feel it.
Life carried on but I remained the same.
The only thing that had kept me from suicide was Ariana.
She was still in the hospital and I spent my days next to her little bed.
Like a zombie, watching her every move.
Afraid to loose her like I had lost her mother.
Her mother, my love, my sun and my life.
They told me the pain would disappear after a while.
But I couldn't imagine that.
My time with her had been short, too short, but still perfect.
She would always stay the love of my life.
I had to make her daughter just like her.
Perfect in every way, that was the only thing left for me to do in this life.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up in Simon's face, he nodded at me and together we entered the church.
I sat front row, between my mother and Simon.
I tried to see clearly but my eyes were stuck by tears.
The priest in front started to speak.
'We are here together today to say goodbye to Aria Young, who left our lifes way too soon. She was loved by all who knew her, and she enlighted their lifes with her presence. Her short life had been tough the last 2 years, but the last months she started to become happy again. And that's when doom came. It is way too soon to say goodbye to her, but that's why we are here today. We must say goodbye to this wonderful girl.'
I heard sobs everywhere around me and I watched Liam getting up and walking to the front.
He cleared his troat before he started to speak.
'Aria, she was wonderful. It's hard to ignore that. She was wonderful in every way. She had been trough so much, but still all she cared about were others. She was afraid to do us any harm, she blamed herself for a pause. Where she no fault in. She was wonderful. Going trough hell she deserved to be happy. She more than anyone I know. But life hadn't been hard enough. No. When she finally started to get better, a new bomb was dropped on her. She was pregnant. But she never doubted. She wanted to keep the baby. She could never give it up. That's how she was. And she found love. We were all so happy. She found someone who would always take care of her. She found Harry. Harry who found her that day on the streets, took her home and starter to heal hear. Fixing what was broken inside her. And together they grew. To the light. They were happy and I truly believe that's how they would have stayed forever. But unfortunately life is not fair. And she's taken from us. We'll never see her smile again,that wonderful smile that reached us all so much. But she will never be forgotten and she will live in her daughter, who is as wonderful as her. Aria Young will live forever in all of us.'
He went back to where he was seated and Demi came forward, Demi Lovato, she and Aria had become close the last months and they both had some of the same problems.
Drinking dad, abuse....
'Aria, I still can't believe you're gone, probably none of us can. I dropped my phone on the ground when I heard the news. I won't see you again. I won't be able to talk to you. We had so much in common and to admit: I really looked up to you. I often had the feeling you were already much further in progress than me. I could talk to you about everything. The most hard thing or the biggest bullshit. I can't believe that will never happen again. It's all over. You called me in the hospital to aks me if miracles existed. I said I didn't know. And you told me: yes they do, a miracle gave me my daughter and brought me back to Harry. Dear Aria, wherever you are. You were a miracle yourself,anc you'll always be one. You learned me hoe to keep fighting, how to go on. And now I have to go one, without you, but I'll go on. For you. I've written a song for you and I hope you can here it wherever you are. I'll never forget you.'
She started to song with tears running over her cheeks. The song was full of emotion. And she had to stop a few times when tears stuck her throat and held her from singing.
This is a story that I've never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro
All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed so confused, I was broken and bruised
Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than ive ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you cant get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Out of the ashes,I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I'lll never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know
Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed so confused, I'm not broken, or bruised
Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
Im a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway
Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Nooo oooh yeaaah yeaah
You can never hurt me again
'You were a warrior, Aria.' she spoke before returning to her place.
I watched how Eleanor and Louis stood up and walked forwards.
Eleanor was leaning on Louis for support and he held her close. She was first to speak.
'Aria, just like Demi I looked up to you. You were so young but so brave. You really were the strongest girl I've ever known. I felt so sorry for you, but you didn't want that. You just kept going on, caring about others. Helping wherever you could. I have to admit I was a bit jealous when I saw you with your baby girl. You looked so peaceful. You told me I would once have such beautiful children of my own. And that our children would play together, dancing on the music of their dads. Cause that's how you saw Harry. As the father of your child. I can't understand it will never be like that. They will still play together, but you won't be there to sit with me, drinking tea while watching them. I'll sit there, with an empty chair before me. Oh, Aria, how I blame myself. For not telling you. I wanted to wait a bit longer, but I should've said it that day in the hospital. I am pregnant, Aria. There will be playing kids together in the garden. Our kids. But you won't be there. I promise I'll show her, I'll show Ariana what her mother was like. Perfect. Aria, please forgive me, for not telling you. But I promise. I won't let you down. I'll look after them. Harry and Ariana. They were the ones you loved the most. I won't let you down. I hope your happy wherever you are and that you look down on us. That you are still seeing me, please give me your strength to carry on. Without you.'
She started crying, and her body was shaking. Louis tried to calm her but het he was crying himself while he tried to speak.
'Aria, how a beautiful name, for a beautiful girl. No I'm not joking. I don't feel like joking. Not since you left. You left. I want to thank you, you came in our lifes and you brought so much with you. Above all: your strength. But you also brought love. To all of us. And most of all to Harry. You brought back the Harry we missed so much. You healed him while he was healing you. But now you're gone. And you can't help us anymore. We have to help ourselves. I wish there was still something I could do to help you. But there isn't. I'm sorry, Aria. I couldn't save you. I can't say more even if I want to, I just can't. You'll stay with us forever.'
He walked off with El, both of them crying uncontrolled.
Gemma and my mother walked forwards next. My mother released my hand as she went.
Gemma cleared her throat but she wasn't very successful as she tried to speak.
'Wel heyo girl! Remember how I said that to you when I came to visit you once. You giggled and pulled me in. Telling me about the surprise you had planned for Harry. You would take him to Paris. One of his favorite cities. That's how you were, always planning things to make others happy. That's how we will remember you. In all your beauty, inside and outside. He was so in love with you, Aria, my brother. And he still is. You didn't want to believe it, you couldn't believe why he would like you. But he did and we all understand why. You were his everything. And to me you were the sister I never had. The sister that came into my life but left way too soon. I still remember how I whispered the words in your ear when I left the first time after meeting you. Can I call you little sister now? Well little sis take care of my little brother. Don't let the drama queen make you crazy. That's what I said. And you did, you took care of him. Better than anyone else could've done. I want to thank you for that. And I promise I'll take care of him now. Now that you're gone. And of your daughter. Both of them will be safe. I hope you found peace wherever you are and that you see us here. You will always have a special place in my heart. Sleep in all peace, little sister and look after me.'
She was pulled in a hug by my mother who tried to find to speak herself.
'Daughter, that's how I called you and how I will call you. You were like a second daughter to me. You healed my son and brought the sun back in his life. When I wasn't able to do that. You did. And I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. But now you're gone and I'll never have the chance to do it. I hope you've found your real mother there. And that she's as proud of you as we all are, all were. I got a new daughter, but I had to let her go too soon. As a mother we spend our whole life, trying to protect our children. And I failed, first Harry got all this hate and I wasn't able to help him. But you did it in my place. Second, I failed to keep you. You left this life, and you left us. Now is see Harry, completely broken and you're not here anymore to help him. You were the light that came in our lifes. Please forgive me, Aria.'
Perrie and Zayn came forward.
'You know I'm not a man of many words and nowit's just like that. I just want to thank you for coming in our lifes. I'll miss you;' Zayn said and hid himself behind Perrie.
'Girl. When I first met you I told you to change your life. You did, but what I didn't exspect is that you would also change ours. You changed them for the good. I'll promise you that one day we'll meet again.'
Zayn left and Periie was joined bythe other Little Mix girls.
Leigh-Anne rose her microphone
We are friends for life
Hold that deep inside
Let this be your drive
To survive
Little Jade looked around her, tears running over her face.
And just stand high and tall
Make sure you give your all
And if you ever fall
Know that I'm right here
Again they all joined
We'll always be together
Don't you worry, oh
I'll always be by your side
Don't you worry
Don't worry, no no no
The circle will never end
Just know that we'll meet again
And we'll always be together
Forever always, oh
I am here
Jesy looked up, searching for something above
Find me in the sky
Dancing with the moon and night
Your heartbeat is disguised as my
Lullaby
[Perries strong voice filled the church
Be happy and know that I'm
Watching you travel far and wide
Waiting for us to meet again
They all sang together again
We'll always be together
Don't you worry
Don't you worry
I'll always be by your side
Don't you worry
Don't you worry
The circle will never end
It'll never ends
Just know that we'll meet again
We'll meet again
And we'll always be together
Forever always
Oh
I am here
Leigh-Anne looked up at the ceiling
If you need me, yeah
I'm in the wind
Look for me friend
I'm in the stars
Jade looked at the photo of Aria as she sang
When you need me
The heavens will send
A message within
Straight to your heart
Oh
They hugged eachother while singing one last time
We'll always be together
Don't you worry
Don't you worry, no.
I'll always be by your side
Don't you worry
Never worry about a thing, no no no no no no no
The circle will never end
It'll never end
Just know that we'll meet again
We'll meet again
And we'll always be together
Forever always
Don't you worry
I am here
I am here
Yeah
I am here
I am here'
They did a groupshug, not caring their tears were ruinign their clothes.
Niall went after them.
'I can't say much. You were my favorite cook and I just... I'm sorry.'
He ran off.
I felt Simon leaving his seat next to me as he took the word.
'I blame myself. It's all my fault. I killed her, I killed you, aria. I arranged that concert. You were like the daughter I never had? But you left and it's because of me. I'll never forgive myself. I stole your life. I'm sorry.'
He ran out of the church before someone could stop him.
Danielle had made a photopresentation.
And I watched all the pictures while the tears made their way out.
It was my turn.
'My love, my sun, my joy, my life, my Aria. You're gone and I'm still here. I can't believe it. All that remains are memories, pictures and your daughter. And you're gone . I can't describe what's it like and I can't describe you, you're too good for all the words in the world. Remember when we were reading old poems? This one's for you.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message She Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
I'll always love you. That's what I promised when I gave you that ring. I would always take care of you. I failed. I'll always love you but you're gone, i couldn't take care of you. But I will take care of your daughter, Ariana. You'll live in her.
The other boys joined me, it was time for out final goodbye.
Shut the door, turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this even though I try
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgement is clouded
Like tonight's sky
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this hard girl
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Flashes left in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
Dancing on with my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today'
I let myself fall on the ground, my eyes blinded as I watched at her photo.
It was all over.