That Summer
Sehun told himself that he wasn't running away from his problems. He wasn't. He simply preferred to spend time with people who didn't know much about him or his problems, and that meant ignoring his two best friends.
Jongin had claimed that he was being immature by refusing to speak to Luhan, and they had gotten into a heated argument after that. Tao, who usually never take sides, actually agreed with Jongin, and that led to Sehun ignoring him as well. Since then, they've been trying to contact him, but Sehun wasn't ready to face them yet. Deep down, he knew they were right, but Sehun has always been stubborn.
It was difficult enough for him to admit that he has feelings for Luhan, a fact he still has trouble grasping, but to suggest that he should confess was something entirely impossible.
He had no plans to tell Luhan how he felt, not after spotting Luhan and Kris together more than a few times over the summer.
A part of him wanted to snatch Luhan and take him somewhere far away from Kris. Somewhere Kris can't find them.
Somewhere Luhan would be Sehun's.
But in the end, the part of him that chose to ignore the hurt won. He wasn't exactly proud of that side, but it gave him assurance that he won't make a fool out of himself...
It was Friday night, and Sehun was at another wild party hosted by people he didn't personally know, but that was normal. He's been attending these types of parties often, hoping to forget, even if just for a few hours, that he's Oh Sehun, the guy secretly in love with Luhan.
Sehun wasn't sure what he expected to happen tonight at this particular party, maybe meet someone interesting, try a little alcohol, but whatever it was, it certainly didn't consist of watching the person responsible for all of his problems stepping through the front door.
Luhan?
Sehun's eyes widened when Luhan, who looked so nervous and out of place among strangers, closed the door behind him and took a tentative step forward.
A million things went through Sehun's head, but none of which consisted of him walking up to Luhan.
He simply stood there, frozen, eyes glued to the familiar face he's been dreaming about since the start of summer break.
Luhan's eyes were scanning the crowd, most probably looking for Sehun because Sehun was sure he knew none of the people here. These weren't the types of people Luhan should be associating with, in Sehun's opinion.
When Luhan's eyes finally met his, Sehun swore he forgot how to breathe.
Luhan weaved his way around the crowd to stand in front of Sehun, his expression serious. Sehun would have wondered why he looked like that if he wasn't so fixated on the fact that Luhan was really standing in front of him.
"I can't believe you're really here," Luhan said, and Sehun detected disappointment in his voice.
"What?" Sehun croaked after snapping out of his thoughts. Suddenly embarrassed, he cleared his throat and tried again. "What?"
"What are you even doing here?" Luhan asked, crossing his arms, looking very much like an adult who was in the middle of scolding a poorly behaved child.
Not liking the tone Luhan was using, Sehun narrowed his eyes. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"I'm only here to get you," Luhan said matter-of-factly. "I have no interest in staying at this party."
Sehun scoffed. "And why are you here to get me?"
"Because Jongin and Tao told me that you've been ignoring them and coming to these types of parties." Luhan took a quick look around, frowning at the empty beer bottles on the floor and the messy plates of food on the tables.
He turned his attention back to Sehun. "In other words, I'm here to take you away before you do something you regret."
"I don't see how my choices, or my life for that matter, should concern you," Sehun stated, confused and slightly offended that Luhan would take him for someone who made horrible decisions.
"Well, it does," Luhan stated, eyes staring right into Sehun's own. "Are you leaving with me or what?"
Sehun huffed. "What is this really? Is this Jongin's idea of a sick joke?"
"No. Why do you consider this a joke?"
"Because you're - forget it. I'm not leaving, but I suggest you do."
Luhan furrowed his eyebrows, frustration slowly creeping in. "And why is that?"
Sehun picked up a random cup from the nearest table and said in a voice that was meant to be condescending, "Because you don't belong here. You should go back to your boyfriend's arms and stay there. It's not safe for someone like you to hang around here."
The frustration in Luhan was quickly replaced with surprise and confusion. "My boyfriend?"
"Yes, your boyfriend," Sehun said through gritted teeth, hating the taste of the word. "I don't think Kris would appreciate you being here."
Luhan's eyes widened. "K-Kris?"
Sehun doesn't understand why Luhan looked so shocked. It wasn't like he was speaking in a foreign language. Kris and Luhan were together, and that meant Kris was Luhan's boyfriend. What part of that wasn't clear?
"Kris and I aren't --" Luhan started, but a voice calling for Sehun cuts him off.
Sehun turned around to find a familiar face smiling at him. It was someone he met a few weeks ago at another party. The guy smiled and beckoned Sehun to come over. Sehun nodded.
"I'm assuming you know where the front door is," said Sehun, eyes on Luhan.
Luhan shook his head. "I'm not leaving without you," he said, voice firm, determined.
For a second, Sehun wondered what Jongin and Tao promised Luhan when they assigned him this task, but he quickly ignored it. He was here to have a great time, not worry about Luhan and all the feelings that come along with Luhan.
"Well, suit yourself. I'm going to enjoy my time here," was the last thing Sehun said before he turned to walk away.
When he got to where the other guy was standing, Sehun positioned himself in a way that allowed him to see Luhan from where he stood.
After standing awkwardly for a few seconds, Luhan looked around and made his way to the couch. He sat on the end, mindful to keep a decent amount of space between him and the next person. Sehun noticed the discomfort in his face when the person next to him blew puffs of smoke into the air near him.
Sehun opened his mouth, wanting to say something to the rude person sitting next to Luhan, but then he realized that he was supposed to be enjoying himself. He wasn't supposed to be worrying about Luhan. He shouldn't be.
He turned his attention back to the guy he was talking to, trying his best to pretend like he was genuinely interested in what the guy was saying.
And though he did this for a while, his eyes continued to wandered toward Luhan.
"You wanna meet my other friends?" the guy asked, forcing Sehun back to their current conversation.
"Uh. Sure," he said, deciding that he could turn away for a bit because Luhan would be fine.
Big mistake.
After Sehun greeted the other guy's friends, he made his way back to the living room, expecting Luhan to still be sitting there waiting for him, but Luhan wasn't there.
Sehun's blood ran cold.
His eyes widened when he scanned the entire room and found no trace of Luhan. "No..." he mumbled, pushing his way in between people to get to where Luhan was a few minutes ago.
"The person that was sitting here," Sehun said, voice on edge, as he pointed toward the spot, "where is he?"
The guy who was smoking turned to look at him. "You mean the really pretty one?"
"Yes," Sehun answered, voice cracking a bit, slightly desperate now.
The guy blew out another puff of smoke, this time in Sehun's face, and it took everything in Sehun not to punch the guy in the face. He really needed to know where Luhan was, and this guy may be the only one who can tell him.
"Some other guy came over and took him somewhere," the smoker said without any emotions.
"What?!" Sehun shouted, panic now taking over.
He knew what some people did at these parties, sick people who prey on the newcomers, the innocent first timers like Luhan, and the thought made him want to vomit.
"Where did they go?" Sehun asked, balling his fists - the only reason behind him not grabbing the guy's collar and shaking him like a rag doll.
The guy shrugged, and Sehun cursed under his breath as he rushed out of there. He frantically searched the entire house for any signs of Luhan. Sehun needed to find him fast before... He rather not think about what would happen if he didn't find Luhan in time. He rather not.
Sehun ran upstairs and checked every room, not caring that people screamed at him for interrupting whatever they were doing. He shouted Luhan's name, but no one knew who he was.
Sehun turned the corner that led to the last bedroom and stopped in his tracks.
There, a few feet in front of him, on the floor, was Luhan.
Luhan was unconscious, his back resting against the wall, head lolling to the side. Beside him was some older guy with greasy hair and tattoos covering his arms.
"You're a lot heavier than you look," the guy muttered breathlessly as he wrapped his arms around Luhan, trying to pick him up.
Sehun growled. "Get your filthy hands off of him."
Startled, the guy spun around and upon seeing only Sehun, he raised an eyebrow. "Um. No. What's your problem? I suggest you get outta here because this ain't none of your business."
The guy turned his attention back to Luhan.
Sehun took a steady step forward, seemingly calm, but internally, he was anything but calm. "That wasn't a question," Sehun said, his expression murderous.
He took another step toward the guy. "I'm telling you to get your filthy hands off of him."
The guy stared at Sehun for a second, as if he couldn't believe some stranger was talking to him in such a tone. "Dude, I don't know you. I'm just trying to have fun with my pretty doll here," he gestured at Luhan, "so I suggest you leave. Find yourself someone else. This one's taken."
Something inside Sehun snapped, and he ran forward and grabbed the guy by the collar, yanking him away from Luhan. He punched the guy, making sure the punk would bleed when his fist came in contact with his nose. The guy doubled over, hands covering his nose. Sehun grabbed his greasy hair and kneed the guy in the face. The guy howled when his face met Sehun's kneecap.
"Don't ever call him your pretty doll," Sehun gritted out after he threw the guy against the bedroom door.
The guy groaned and cursed Sehun as he tried to get up. Sehun sent him a hard kick to the stomach before he could get on his feet.
"And don't EVER touch him again," Sehun spat, eyes blazing with hatred. He grabbed the guy and slammed him against the door.
Forcing the guy to look him in the eyes, Sehun promised him, "If you come anywhere near him again, I will make sure that it's the last thing you ever do. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"
As if he knew that Sehun meant every word, and that any other response would result in him getting another beating, the guy quickly nodded his head, blood from his nose slowly trickling down his chin. "Ye-Yes."
Sehun released the guy, who immediately ran away. With his fists still clenched, Sehun took a few deep breaths. A few seconds ago, he wanted to snap the guy's head off, but right now, he needed to calm down. It was over. He made his point. He momentarily closed his eyes, refusing to let the image of that guy touching Luhan invade his mind. He was never going to touch Luhan again. Never. There was no way in hell Sehun would ever let that happen.
A soft groan from Luhan brought Sehun back to his senses.
Sehun bent down in front of Luhan, his right hand reaching out for Luhan's face. He paused when Luhan suddenly mumbled his name.
"Sehun."
Sehun's heart stopped.
Did Luhan mumbled his name? He wasn't dreaming, right?
Before Sehun could pinch himself to make sure this wasn't a dream, Luhan started sliding toward the left, and Sehun's hands automatically reached out to cupped his face, stopping him from hitting the floor.
With his hands on Luhan, Sehun's heart started racing.
He could feel the world shifting around him.
With his eyes studying the sleeping face in front of him, taking in every flawless detail, Sehun finally came to terms with the undeniable truth.
He is hopelessly in love with Luhan.
After putting Luhan on his back, Sehun made his way downstairs, ignoring the questioning gazes from the others. He made his way to his car and opened the passenger door. He settled Luhan down, and after adjusting the angle of the seat to a reclining position so that Luhan could be more comfortable, Sehun buckled him in.
Once he was in his seat, Sehun couldn't help but look at Luhan. There's so many things going through his head right now, the most important one was how he was going to explain this to Luhan's parents. Should he take Luhan to his house instead since his parents were out of town? That would be easier, he supposed, but he still had to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why Luhan was spending the night with him.
Luhan shifted a little in his seat, and Sehun immediately held his breath, afraid that any sudden movement would disturb him. Eventually, Luhan stilled, and Sehun exhaled.
He puts the key in the ignition and drove away with a destination already set.
After gently placing Luhan down on his bed, Sehun began taking off his shoes and his socks because if he remembered correctly, Luhan didn't like sleeping in them. He pulled the covers over Luhan and sat down next to him.
Sehun was bombarded with all kinds of emotions as he sat there, watching Luhan. The most prominent emotion was guilt, overwhelming guilt. It was essentially his fault Luhan got in this mess in the first place. If he had just left with Luhan like he wanted, none of this would have happened. Sehun thought about what could have happened to Luhan, and he again felt sick to his stomach. If only he wasn't so stubborn.
"I'm a bad guy," he whispered, eyes trained on Luhan. "Maybe it's a good thing you're not with me.."
Eventually, guilt was replaced with resentment. The thought of that guy, or anyone else, taking advantage of Luhan angered him to the point where he felt his whole body burning up, unimaginable rage threatening to consume him. Sehun squeezed his eyes shut for a minute, his hands gripping the sheets. He mentally counted to twenty before opening his eyes again. He had to remind himself that it was over. No one was going to hurt Luhan.
Luhan was here, safe in Sehun's room.
An hour later, Sehun realized he was exhausted and that everything ached, but he couldn't bring himself to rest. Call him paranoid, but Sehun was afraid that if he closed his eyes, Luhan would be gone when he opened them again. That thought was absolutely terrifying, so while Luhan slept, Sehun simply sat there, close to him. And occasionally, he would put his palm over Luhan's forehead to check his temperature. He doesn't know why he does it, considering Luhan wasn't sick, but it gave him comfort nonetheless.
Maybe he just liked being able to feel Luhan - to assure himself that Luhan was actually here with him.
It was actually amazing that his heart was still pounding feverishly against his chest whenever he looked at Luhan. Was this a symptom of being in love? If Sehun had realized this sooner, would things be different? Most probably, but there wasn't anything he can do now.
The whole room may have been quiet, but Sehun could hear his heart thumping against his chest loud and clear.
The sad part was that the person his heart was beating for could not hear it, no matter how loud. No matter how strongly it beats.
*******
Feeling as though a dark fog had lifted, Luhan slowly opened his eyes. He still felt a bit dizzy, but more aware of his surroundings than before. When he realized that he was laying down on a warm bed, Luhan gasped and immediately sat up, instantly regretting it when his head started throbbing from the sudden movement.
"Are you okay?"
Luhan yelped and scooted back towards the headboard, surprised by the voice. When his eyes finally met a pair of familiar brown ones, he was even more surprised.
"Se-Sehun?"
"Yeah.." Sehun got up from his spot on the bed to turn on the lights, even though the lamp on the nightstand was on.
Luhan took a quick look around and realized that this was Sehun's room. "What? What am I doing in your room?"
Sehun leaned against the door frame. "You were unconscious when I brought you here."
"Unconscious?"
Sehun nodded. "Yeah," he answered, and if Luhan wasn't wrong, he sounded a bit regretful.
Before Luhan could ask what was going on, he felt his stomach lurched, and he immediately covered his mouth. He jumped out of Sehun's bed and ran to the bathroom, quickly emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet.
When he was done, Sehun offered him a cup of water to rinse his mouth, and Luhan took it thankfully, although he felt embarrassed that Sehun had seen him throw up.
"What happened?" Luhan asked as he sat back down on Sehun's bed, his mind now trying to make sense of the situation.
"What was the last thing you remembered?" Sehun asked from his spot across the room.
"Ummm..." Luhan closed his eyes. "There was a guy.."
"And?"
"And he offered me a drink....I took it and then..." Luhan opened his eyes, confusion evident in his features. "I don't remember anything after that."
"You were drugged," said Sehun, causing Luhan to look up at him.
"What?!"
"The drink he offered you had something in it that caused you to black out," Sehun explained, his face stiff.
"But - but he said it was soda," Luhan muttered, his mind replaying the scene where the guy, who claimed to be the host of the party, sat down next to him and offered him a glass.
"Seriously," Sehun started, and Luhan looked at him. "How could you just accept a drink from a stranger?"
"I didn't know --"
"Anyone with common sense would know not to drink something from a guy who looks like that sick bastard. Did you not --"
"I didn't think he would drug me!" Luhan snapped. Sehun blinked at him.
To stop his lips from quivering, Luhan bit his bottom lip. "I've never been to a party like that. How was I supposed to know?" he mumbled before looking down at his hands.
A strange silence filled the room.
Luhan had experienced awkward silences with Sehun plenty of times before, but somehow, this felt different. He dared to look up, and when his eyes fell upon Sehun, his breath hitched. Sehun was staring at him, almost as if he was trying to figure Luhan out. Or was he trying to find the right words?
Sehun turned away. He quietly made his way over to his desk and sat on the chair. Luhan watched him curiously. He expected Sehun to ignore him, but he actually did the opposite.
"I'm sorry," Sehun said, his voice dripping with sincerity. "For what happened."
With his eyes on Sehun, Luhan felt as though he was looking at a different person - a different Sehun.
Luhan's heartbeat quickened. Was he falling all over again?
"I shouldn't have left you alone at the party," Sehun continued. "And I wanted you to know that nothing happened...I - I carried you out of there before things..." Sehun cleared his throat. "Before things got out of hand."
Luhan blinked. Sehun saved him?
"Thanks," he said softly, not knowing what else to say.
He still didn't know what happened, but judging from how uncomfortable Sehun was talking about it, Luhan felt that he rather not find out. All that mattered was that he was fine, and that Sehun was here.
"I called your parents and told them you were sleeping over at my place," Sehun said.
Luhan's eyes widened. He didn't even consider what his parents would think if they found out he was sleeping outside!
"They said it was fine," Sehun added, now avoiding eye contact.
"Oh..Thanks." Feeling as though he would soon suffocate if he stayed in Sehun's room any longer, Luhan stood up and got ready to leave. "I guess I should go home now."
"It's four in the morning..."
Luhan gasped and looked at the clock on Sehun's wall. It really was four in the morning. How was he going to explain to his parents why he was coming back at four in the morning?
"You can stay here until later," Sehun suggested, not looking directly at Luhan, but rather somewhere above his head.
"Oh..Uhh.." Left with no other reasonable options, Luhan agreed to staying a little longer, even if he doubted his heart could take being with Sehun for so long.
The rest of the morning was spent with Sehun doing something at his desk, his back facing Luhan, while Luhan sat in Sehun's bed, second guessing his decision to stay.
What Luhan didn't know was that Sehun had fallen asleep, finally giving in to his body's exhaustion.
Not long after, Luhan also fell asleep, and when Sehun woke up to check the time, he found Luhan snuggled up under his covers.
Luhan had dreamt about Sehun's special smile many times before - a smile he rarely got to see after their fallout.
A smile he remembered only from past memories.
A smile he wished he could see again some day.
And that morning, Sehun smiled that special smile, but Luhan wasn't awake to see it.
*******
It's been three days since the party, and Sehun was back to being friends with Jongin and Tao. He figured he should grow up, and accept reality as it is.
It's still hard sometimes for him to think about his feelings for Luhan, feelings that would never be returned, but he doesn't regret having them. In a sense, he was glad that Luhan was the one he had feelings for. He was worth it.
It was early in the morning when Sehun decided that he should go jogging to clear his mind. He had woken up earlier feeling miserable. All because of a dream he had of Luhan and Kris getting married after high school. They had decided to go study abroad, and the last time Sehun ever saw Luhan was when he handed him his wedding gift a few days after their actual wedding. He couldn't bring himself to attend - to see Luhan marry someone else. The gift was something Sehun had spent weeks agonizing over. It was what Luhan had wanted when they were younger - a jar of stars.
While jogging down the streets, Sehun thought about the time an adorable five year old Luhan told him that if he could pluck the stars from the sky and put it in a jar decorated with a pretty white bow, Luhan would love him forever.
In the dream, Luhan accepted his jar of stars with a smile, but he doesn't remember the promise.
By the time he got to the park, Sehun was already tired. He made his way to a bench nearby and sat down. There was barely anybody around. He looked over to the basketball court and spotted a basketball. Sehun was never really into basketball, though he played many times with Jongin and Tao, but for some reason, he felt like playing today.
He walked over to the court, picked up the ball, and stood in front of the basket. He dribbled a few times and got in position to shoot a basket.
It's completely childish, but he told himself that if he made this first basket, he would be one step closer to winning Luhan's heart.
He aimed the ball and shoots.
He missed.
Sehun grabbed the ball and tried again.
He missed the second time.
And the third time.
And the fourth time. Fifth time. Sixth time.
"You really ."
Sehun turned around and came face to face with Kris, who had another basketball in his hands.
"Well, I play tennis for a reason," he countered.
Kris chuckled. "I can see that."
Sehun watched as Kris dribbled the ball a few times, ran up to the hoop, and successfully completed a dunk shot.
"Should I teach you?" Kris asked.
"No."
"You sure?" Kris smirked.
Sehun wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. He tossed the ball toward the basket, and without fail, it missed.
"Are you trying to prove something?" Kris asked, gazing at him intently.
Sehun shrugged. "Maybe."
"What? What are you trying to prove?"
"That I'm actually not bad compared to you. I might even be better."
Sehun jumped and dunked the ball into the basketball. He was always better at these dunk shots.
"Why do I feel as though you're not referring to basketball?"
Sehun turned to look at Kris. "Is that so?"
Kris puts his ball on the ground. "Yeah.. It sounds to me like you're talking about someone."
Sehun tightened his grip on the ball. "Like who?"
Kris lets out a dry laugh. "Don't play dumb, Sehun."
"You know my name?"
Kris gave him a look that suggested Sehun should have known the reason why he knew his name.
"Pretending to be the cool guy won't get you anywhere," Kris stated.
"Who's pretending?"
"So you're not pretending that you don't like Luhan?"
Sehun's throat dried at the mention of Luhan.
Kris snorted. "I figured."
"You don't know me," Sehun said flatly.
"I don't, not on a personal level at least, but I do know that you're crazy for Luhan." Kris cocked his head to the side. "And how do you think I know that?"
"I'm not a mind reader."
Kris smiled. "Because it's obvious. The way you look at him. The way your eyes flicker at the mention of his name. It's embarrassing to see from my perspective."
Sehun tossed his ball roughly to the side and strode toward Kris. "And what is your perspective?" he asked when he got close to Kris's face.
"From the perspective of someone who actually has the guts to admit his feelings," Kris replied, expression cold. He took a step back. "Don't challenge me when you yourself are too afraid to step up."
"There's nothing wrong with accepting his choice," said Sehun, eyes focused on Kris. "Even if I can't stand it."
Kris quirked his eyebrow. "His choice?"
"Do you want to rub it in my face?" Sehun asked, all thoughts of being civil quickly dissipating.
Kris looked at him thoughtfully before erupting in laughter. "You're really stupid."
"Excuse me?"
"You think we're together," Kris stated. "For someone who's apparently in love with Luhan, you don't know much about him, do you?"
"What?"
"Let me spell this out for you - Luhan and I are not together. But. But that may change because, you see, I'm persistent. I don't give up easily. It's not in my nature. And that, Sehun, is what makes me a better choice."
"Sounds like someone who can't take a hint, if you ask me."
Kris's expression darkened. "I really don't want to hear what you have to say. You're not any better. It would only be a waste if Luhan picks you."
Sehun clenched his fists. "A waste?"
"Honestly, what can you give Luhan? I heard about your experiences in middle school. You weren't very nice to him." Kris pretended to pout. "Are you going to bully him into liking you?"
"That was in the past. I'm not like that anymore."
"But you're still hiding behind your insecurities," Kris stated. "Don't all bullies have insecurities? What are yours?"
"What is this? A therapy session?"
"No, it's a conversation between someone mature and someone who has an emotional age of a kid in elementary school."
Sehun scoffed. "You really need to get off your high horse. Is this your way of letting out your anger at being rejected?"
Kris took a step forward, knuckles clenched. "At least I'm not a coward. I don't hold myself back."
"Maybe you should consider holding yourself back sometimes, it might make you more attractive."
As soon as Sehun said that, Kris landed a solid punch to Sehun's cheek.
"I really don't like the way you talk to someone who's older than you," Kris bit out.
"Yeah?" Sehun threw Kris a right hook. "I don't like you. Period."
Quickly recovering from Sehun's punch, Kris fisted the collar of his hoodie. "What does Luhan see in you?" he snarled.
"Obviously something you don't have," said Sehun.
Kris punched Sehun in the guts this time, which led Sehun to tackle him to the ground.
They continued to throw punches at each other, neither willing to back down, not until a frightened voice screamed for them to stop.
"STOP!" Luhan ran over and tried to pull Sehun and Kris apart. "STOP FIGHTING!"
Kris shot Sehun a nasty left jab, and Sehun reciprocated with an elbow to his jaw.
"SEHUN! KRIS! STOP!"
When Luhan had somehow managed to get them further than a few inches away from each other, he stepped right in between them. And though they both had their fists up, neither of them was willing to fight with Luhan smacked in the middle.
"Why are you fighting!?" Luhan demanded, eyes darting between Sehun and Kris.
Sehun looked at Kris, and Kris looked at him. Sehun waited for Kris to tell Luhan, but he didn't.
"So you're not going to tell me?"
Sehun and Kris stayed silent.
Luhan looked at Kris, his eyes demanding answers from the elder. Kris gave him none. He then turned to Sehun, and Sehun avoided his gaze.
"Whatever it was you were fighting over, was it worth getting beat up?" Luhan asked.
Kris and Sehun both responded with a "Yes."
"Unbelievable. I mean, Sehun, look at you!" Luhan cupped Sehun's face, his fingers lightly touching the cuts and bruises. "You're bleeding!"
Sehun grimaced, and Luhan frowned deeply, concern etched all over his face.
Seeing Luhan inspect Sehun's wounds made Kris feel as though he was invisible. Painfully invisible.
"It hurts when you're this obvious," said Kris, causing Luhan to turn and look at him.
And as if he realized what he was doing, Luhan dropped his hands from Sehun's face. "Kris.."
Kris shook his head. "I get it. I think I've always gotten it." He swallowed. "But I was hoping I was wrong."
Without another word, Kris turned, picked up his basketball, and walked away.
"Kris!" Luhan called out. "Kris!"
When Kris doesn't turn around, Luhan ran to follow him. Sehun watched as Luhan got further and further away from him. His heart was pounding again, but this time it was screaming for him to do something.
His heart was telling him to hold on.
So he did.
Sehun ran after Luhan, and grabbed his wrist, turning him around.
"Don't."
Luhan stared wide-eyed at Sehun. "But I have to go."
"No, you don't." Sehun tightened his hold.
Luhan tried to pry his hand away from Sehun's vice-like grip. "Sehun, why are you doing this?"
"Because I didn't do this last time."
Sehun stopped breathing. He realized that this was the moment - the moment he would tell Luhan what he should have told him since the beginning.
"What?"
"I'm not letting you go," he said. "Physically. Figuratively. Emotionally. I'm not letting go."
"Se-Sehun.."
"I don't want you to go after Kris."
"W-Why not?"
"I don't want you to be with him. You can't be with him."
Sehun could feel his own hands shaking as he held onto Luhan's hand.
"And why can't I be with him?" Luhan asked.
"Because he's not me!" Sehun shouted, the pent up frustration finally being released. "Because Kris isn't me! You're supposed to be with me."
Luhan stared at him, utterly shocked. Sehun took it as his opportunity to pour his heart out, the heart that was currently celebrating at finally being given a chance to speak out.
"I can't let you be with him because I want you." Sehun took ahold of Luhan's other hand. "I know I haven't been the best friend you wanted me to be. I know I treated you wrong when we were in middle school, and I'm extremely sorry. And I know you probably won't return my feelings because I'm the biggest jerk in the world, but I just wanted you know that I'm absolutely in love with you."
Sehun gave Luhan a small smile. "I'm in love with you, Luhan. I don't think anyone can love you more than I do. Not Kris. Not that guy from gym class. Not your admirers. No one."
Sehun squeezed Luhan's hands and continued, using the warmth of his hands as encouragement. "I know everything there is to know about you. I know you're allergic to sea food. I know your favorite color is white, but sometimes you like teal just as much. I know you brush your teeth twice because you don't think you did a good job the first time. I know you like to take naps when it's rainy outside. I know about that tiny tin can under your bed that has your first allowance money. You never spent it because you were so happy that you were finally old enough to have your own money. I know about that horrible picture I painted for you when we were in first grade, and that you kept it in a red box in your closet, along with other things I've given you. I hope you still have that box because I want to give you more of my stuff. I know you wanted to become a chef ever since you watched that cooking movie I can't remember the name of because it's been too long, and my head is spinning, and my heart is threatening to explode because I'm blabbing now."
Sehun took a deep breath. "And lastly, I know that even with all your quirks, I still find myself falling. Even if I know a lot already, I still want to know more. I was in denial for a long time, and now that I finally understand why I feel a certain way whenever you look at me, or whenever you look at someone else, I want to let it out."
"Sehun, I --"
"One more thing." Sehun cupped Luhan's face and pressed his lips gently against Luhan's. Not too lightly because he wanted his feelings for Luhan to sink in, to leave some sort of lingering mark, but also not too firm because he didn't want to force his feelings upon him, to leave a scar he can't erase.
He honestly doesn't want to part because kissing Luhan felt wonderfully surreal, but he accepted the fact that it was simply a moment, a moment he believed he would remember years from now.
When Sehun pulled away, he smiled at Luhan. "Thanks for hearing me out."
Sehun blinked. He did it. He confessed.
With a satisfied sigh, Sehun lets go of Luhan's hands. He took a step back. "I'll give you time to think about this. It's okay if you don't want to be with me, I understand. My feelings won't --"
Luhan cuts him off by pressing his lips into Sehun's, kissing him firmly without reservation. Unlike Sehun, Luhan wanted his kiss to leave some sort of permanent mark.
When Luhan pulled back, he blushed.
"Wh-What was that?" Sehun spluttered, unable to get his head around the fact that Luhan kissed him back (and that it was an even better kiss than the one before).
Luhan's cheeks reddened. "What? You kissed me first," he accused.
"Because I wanted you to know how I feel."
"Well, so do I. You can't expect me to listen to your confession and not have one of my own."
Sehun's eyes widened. "What?!"
Luhan suddenly entwined their fingers, and said, "You're the person I was talking about in that art room. I was in love with you way before you realized your feelings for me."
"What?!"
Luhan pecked Sehun on the lips. "I'm. In. Love. With. You. Oh. Sehun," Luhan slowly repeated. "Do you get it now?"
Sehun opened his mouth to say something, but found out that he couldn't put anything into comprehensible words right now. He looked down at their joined hands. Was this really happening?
"Even though you confessed first, I want you to know that I love you a lot more."
Sehun tore his eyes away from their hands and found Luhan smiling brilliantly at him.
Sehun huffed. "As if."
"It's true," Luhan argued as Sehun started walking toward the playground, hand holding tightly onto Luhan's.
A few minutes later, it got quiet as the two sat on the swings, both of them looking straight ahead - still holding hands.
Luhan eventually broke the silence. Turning his head to look at Sehun, he asked, "When did you realize your feelings for me?"
Sehun stiffened. "Pass."
"Aww come on. That's not so hard."
"Oh yeah? Well, let me ask you then. When did you realize that you were in love with me?"
Luhan turned back around. "Pass."
Sehun muttered, "Exactly."
A few seconds later, Luhan tried again, but with a different question. "Sehun, be honest - how often do you think about me?"
"Pass."
"Okay, that was extremely easy."
Sehun turned to face Luhan. "Really? How often do you think about me?"
Luhan grinned. "Constantly."
Sehun mentally cursed at how cute Luhan looked when he said that.
"What are you thinking about?"
Sehun schooled his features to look as though he was thinking about nothing - especially not about how much he wanted to kiss Luhan again.
"Nothing," he said calmly, despite his racing heart.
"Do you want to kiss me again?" Luhan asked in a low whisper.
Sehun wanted to die on the spot.
"Pass," he mumbled.
"You can't use three passes in a row," Luhan quipped, squeezing Sehun's hand playfully.
"Who says?"
"Me."
"And why do you get to decide the rules?"
"Because you obviously want to kiss me, but since you're denying that fact, I'm entitled to decide on your passing privileges."
Sehun squinted his eyes at Luhan, looking at him as though what he said wasn't logical in any way, but still Sehun couldn't deny the statement.
Luhan laughed when Sehun decided that the best way to get out of this situation was through silence.
It was then that Sehun realized that he really liked the sound of Luhan's bubbly laughter. It was contagious.
However, before Sehun could laugh along with Luhan, he winced. He had forgotten about the injuries on his face. He cursed Kris and his giant knuckles.
Noticing this, Luhan looked at him worriedly. He lets go of Sehun's hand so that he could gently rub the bruise on Sehun's cheekbone that was slowly turning purple.
"I think we should put ice on that," Luhan said softly, thumb caressing the side of Sehun's face.
Sehun groaned and abruptly stood up. He grabbed Luhan's hand and led him to the hidden area underneath the jungle gym, behind the big kiddie slide. Before Luhan could ask him what was wrong, Sehun kissed him. Longer this time.
When they part for air, Luhan smiled, and Sehun's heart fluttered at the sight.
As he leaned in once more, his lips only centimeters away from Luhan's, Sehun decided that he could get used to this fluttering feeling....