Untrue Happiness

By monkeybaby7

1.2K 33 8

Guilt is a horrible thing. It pulls you out of yourself and leaves an irreversible darkness in your soul. G... More

Untrue Happiness
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 5

58 4 2
By monkeybaby7

Hi New Chapter! Yay! I'll keep this short. I'll upload the next chapter ASAP.

Vote, Comment, Enjoy-just not in that order ;) Or that order if you want. lol

Its been a while so here's the end of last chapter to refresh your memory.

“Do you need me for anything else or can I go home now?” I sighed.

            Farah just stared at me looking to make sure I was okay before nodding, “Yeah, I can handle everything. Shouldn’t take too long for him to get the hang of everything and we won’t get too busy today. Go home and rest. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

            “I told you how I get when I’m tired,” I muttered quickly going into the back room, getting my stuff and leaving through the front.

            “Nice to meet you, Heath Cliff.” I said on my way out.

            “You too, Hepburn.” Heath called out which caused a small smile to slip on my face.

            At least he doesn’t think I’m too crazy.

CHAPTER 5

      Monday after my first class I met up with Chris to have some lunch before going to English Lit . We’ve been doing this since we met last semester in our Survey of Music class. Unfortunately, since he is older than me and about to graduate, we don’t have any more classes together and only a few more lunch dates like this.

            We sat down with our salads at an empty table in the middle of the room. Since it was only around 11 there weren’t many students in the cafeteria yet. As soon as classes get out at 12 though, the tables would be full.

            “So tell me about this new guy.” Chris grinned, “Is he cute?”

            “He is more than cute. Practically a God. He has a weird name though.”

            “What is it? Can’t be too bad.”

            “Heath. Have you ever met anyone named Heath before?”

            I haven’t spoken to Farah since yesterday after our fight. It’s not like she hasn’t been trying to get into contact with me, I’ve just chosen to ignore her calls. I wasn’t ready to speak to her yet and I was going to be seeing her later anyway.

            “I haven’t but I can just imagine what a Heath looks like; tall, tan and oh so manly. I bet he’s really good in-“

            “Alright!” I cut him off laughing, “I get it. If you want to see him for yourself come down to the Café tomorrow when you get out of class, he’ll be there.”

            “Oh, I definitely want to see him.” He smirked.

            “Hey, I know what you’re thinking and I can almost guarantee that he is straight.”

            “You are just saying that because you want him.”

            “That’s true,” I admitted as I picked at my salad, “but I can also tell if someone is gay or not, and Heath is not.”

            “Please, gay-dar is not a real thing. Girls just use that as an excuse to make themselves feel better.” Chris rolled his eyes.

            “I knew you were gay when I first met you.” I pointed out.

            “I was making out with Evan outside the classroom. I think it was pretty obvious.”He laughed.

            “Whatever. Heath isn’t gay.”

            “You never know. Remember Anthony? I never would have thought that the big football star liked to experiment. When he asked me out, I thought he was playing a joke on me. Turns out he likey the men.”

            “That was hardly that shocking. I’m surprised more footballer’s haven’t asked you out yet.”

            “I would say that it’s more of a disappointment than shocking. I like football players, there’s a lot more to hold on to if you know what I mean.” Chris winked giving me a mischievous grin.

            “Okay, eww. What is up with you today? You’re very…” I trailed off trying to think of the right word.

            “Horny? Yeah, I know it’s ‘cuz I haven’t hooked up with anyone in a while. School has been keeping me busy with papers due and finals to study for.”

            “Well go make out with Evan or something, you’re making me lose my appetite.” I groaned pushing my salad towards him.

            He stuck his fork in one of my olives, “Ugh. No. First off, he’s not that good. Second, he’s very clingy. I finally got him to leave me alone. I do not want to go through that again.”

            “What about that guy that you met the other night at the club, you got his number right?”

            Chris shrugged, “I did but I don’t know if I want to call him.”

            “Why?! He was cute and nice and a dancer. Nothing sexier than a dancer.”

            “He told me that he just got out of a long term relationship. I could tell he wasn’t over him yet. I don’t want to get involved with that or be the rebound, it’s never as good.” He frowned down at his food.

            I shrugged, “It’s not like you have to get into a relationship with him. Hang out for a while and see how it goes. Maybe you could get him a rebound then go for it.”

            “That actually isn’t a bad idea. I’ll call him and see if he wants to go out Friday with a group and get him to hook up with Andrew or Sam or someone. It won’t last for more than a week and by then we’ll be closer. Audrey, you are an evil genius.” He gave me an impressed smirk and finished the last of his salad.

            “I’m going to call him before my next class. I’ll catch up with you later, babe.”

            “Bye.” I nodded.

Standing up with his trash, he waved as he threw it out in the garbage and walked off. I sat there for about another five minutes until I was done then made my way to English lit.  As I walked across campus I wondered if Heath had a girlfriend. Certainly a guy that looked that good wouldn’t have trouble finding a girl. That’s the thing about cute guys; usually they are either players and get with anyone or are already taken. It’s all about timing. You have to get them when they are single before anyone else can get to them.

Not that I’m looking to be his girlfriend. I just think it would be cool to hang out with him…maybe hook up?

When I got to class, I sat in my seat near the window like I always do. Around this time of year the classrooms could get stuffy and too warm so I liked being able to just reach across and open the window whenever I wanted. As I was pulling my notebook and texts out, I heard the rumble of the chair beside me being pulled out and the clang of a heavy backpack against the desk. Without even having to look up, I knew it was Matt. For some reason, since our first class, he has always sat next to me. It was a little weird to me at first because he never talks to me and being the shy guy he is, it takes a lot of balls to sit next to a bitch like me every day.

“Hey, Matt. What’s up? How was the LGBT club the other day? Did you meet anybody cute? Take him home?” I grinned teasingly.

His eyes widened and opened his mouth to say something but he floundered as Stacey, a nice but…flirty girl came to sit behind me.

“Oh, Matt. You’re gay? I never would have thought. I mean it’s not like I can pick out who is gay or not but you usually just like tell, you know? You’re really cute in a nerdy way so I guess I could see it. I always pictured you with a cute, little Asian girl who was just a little bit smarter than you though. Cuz’ you’re like really good at math and science and stuff right?”

It would be completely cliché if I said she was blonde but that only would be half true. I believe her natural hair was light brown but she dyed the under layers blonde. She had really amazing eyes though, I’m not afraid to admit it. They were a bright, shocking shade of blue that any human being would be envious about.

An evil smirk made its way to my face as I turned to nod at Stacey.

“I know right? I didn’t expect it either but I saw him at the LGBT club the other night when I was there with Chris. You know Chris right?”

“Yeah, I think I’ve had a class with him last semester. He’s really cool and cute. Matt, you and him would look super adorable together!” Stacey clapped enthusiastically.

Matt’s face was a deep red by now and looked at a loss for words. I would have felt bad for doing this to him but his face was priceless and he was just so fun to tease.

            “I-I’m not gay.” He denied looking stern and unsure at the same time.

            “Oh, honey it’s okay if you are. Were you keeping it a secret? Audrey, why did you let it slip? Don’t worry, though. We won’t tell anyone.” She winked at him as the professor walked in.

            I turned back around and cast a glance at Matt. He was looking at me so I just gave him the Triple S and a shrug in apology. He didn’t look mad and he didn’t say anything so I took it as we were good.

            A few minutes into class though, I kept looking back to Matt. He face was void of any emotions and he looked like he was really into the lesson but I was getting this weird feeling in my stomach. For some reason I felt like I had to make sure he wasn’t upset with me.

            When the professor told us to reread the next section in our text before we talked about it I slickly pushed my textbook into my bag and scrapped my desk closer to Matt’s.

            “Do you mind if I look on with you? I forgot my textbook at home.” I gave him a sweet smile to show my innocence.

            A look of disbelief crossed his face for a minute before vanishing. Without saying anything he moved his book so that I was able to read it also. After a few minutes of reading, I heard an annoyed sigh come from Matt. He was looking down at his phone and shaking his head. When he pocketed it and went back to reading he noticed I was staring at him. He looked really unhappy and a little frustrated. Was it because of me?

            “What’s up? Are you mad that I told Stacey you are gay? I was just kidding. I’ll tell her after class it was a joke. No biggie.”

            He sighed and shook his head, “No it’s not that.”

            “Huh? Then what is it about? Do you not want me to share the book with you or something?” I accused.

            I mean, I thought the kid had a crush on me. Shouldn’t he be thrilled?

            Matt was about to say something when he rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket again. When he read what was on his phone he pursed his lips and leaned over and dropped it into his bag.

            Maybe he wasn’t mad at me then. Someone kept texting him something that he didn’t like.

            “Who was that?” I asked motioning to his bag where his phone now was.

            “You don’t want to know.” He mumbled sliding the book back to his desk, clearly figuring I wasn’t going to read. Which was true. I read it once, why did I have to read it again?

            “So it’s someone I know?” He didn’t say that it was nobody I know which would imply I did know them. The thing was nobody I knew would be texting Matt.

            He didn’t answer which affirmed what I already knew.

            “Come on; just tell me who it is.” I pried, shoving his shoulder lightly.

            “It’s Justin.” Matt said before he put his face back into the book.

            I stopped to think for a second, but could not for the life of me figure out who Justin was.

            “I don’t know any Justins.” I said almost indicted.

            His face turned a light shade of red as he looked up at me.

            “Good.” Then he tucked himself away again.

            He wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding his crush on me.

            “Why is that good?”I asked.

            “I can tell him that you don’t remember him and he will leave me alone.” He leaned over to his bag and took his phone back out.

            He swiftly texted this Justin back before dropping the phone back into the bag.

            “So I do know him?”

            “You met him the other day at the club. You danced with him. Before you left he gave you his number and he has bugging me all day to ask you why you haven’t called him yet.”

            “Oh! That cute guy? Yeah, I remember him. He’s nice and all but I’m not going to call him. He was a little weird. I mean, who keeps pens in their pocket?” I scoffed.

            Matt didn’t say anything but I thought I saw his lip curl up a little.

            “You don’t like him.” I noticed.

            He shrugged, “It’s not that I don’t like him, he can just be a jerk sometimes. And annoying.”

            “How do you know him? He seemed very….heterosexual to be at a gay bachelor party.”

            “We’re brothers.”

            My eyes widened, “Really? But you look nothing alike! What about your other brother?”

            Matt blushed, “We have different fathers. Justin and Alex are fraternal twins born four years before me. When they were three their dad left and my mom met my dad.”

            “Jeez. You got any more siblings?”

            “No. It’s just us.”

            “Hmm.” I grunted acting interested.

            It was quiet for a few minutes as I tried to pull myself out of the conversation. I found out that he wasn’t mad at me, now I wanted to put my seat back but that would look suspicious since we were still supposed to be reading.

            I knew that Matt could tell that I no longer wanted to talk to him but somehow he pushed through his shyness.

            “So, do you have any siblings?”

            “Uh, no.”

            “Oh…”He trailed off but a second later added, “Sometimes I wish I were an only child.”

            “Trust me; it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” I mumbled.

            I was extremely lonely growing up in a house without parents who cared enough to eat dinner with me. The only person I could rely was my grandmother. If I thought I could pull it off, I would have stolen a younger brother or sister, I was that lonely.

            “Yeah. I guess it would get lonesome.” He acknowledged but I knew he didn’t really understand.

            I didn’t say anything keeping my focus elsewhere while he stared at me, each second getting more awkward.

            “Do you have any cats or anything?” He asked suddenly.

            My head snapped to him and my jaw nearly dropped, “Are you insinuating that I’m a lonely cat lady?”

            His eyes widened and had a brief look of panic cross his face.

            “N-no! That’s not what I meant! I’m sorry, I just meant since you didn’t have any siblings, maybe you had pets or something…you know. Like your parents felt bad and got you a dog or a cat or a gerbil…”

            “Well no. Just me.” I sniped.

            “Oh..s-sorry. I didn’t mean to-“He started to apologize but I cut him off.

            “You know what? I’m done with this conversation. Thanks.” Wow. That sounded bitchy even to me but he was starting to really annoy me. He just really didn’t know how to talk to a girl.

            Facing forward, I ignored what I assumed would be his dumbfounded expression. I heard him grab for something to say but he took the hint and kept his mouth shut.

            For the rest of class, I tried my best to pay attention but I kept thinking what it would be like to have a brother or sister. Really, I wouldn’t mind either. Just have someone to truly care about and who cared about me.

 I had to admit to myself that I was a little of jealous that Matt had two older brothers. He took them for granted too. It was clear that he had a good home life and never had any worries growing up.

As I stayed behind after class to turn my paper in early, I made sure Matt heard me tell Stacey that he wasn’t gay. I may be a bitch but I don’t go around spreading rumors.

            “Hey, Stace, Matt isn’t gay. I was just teasing him before.” I laughed.

            I glanced behind me to see Matt passing me to leave the classroom. He definitely heard me.

            Stacey gasped, “He’s not? That’s too bad. Are you sure?”

            I held back a quizzical look. Did she want him to be gay?

            “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he even has a crush on me.” I elbowed her smiling.

            Stacey gave me a blank stare before saying, “But you’re not Asian, are you?”

            "...." At least she thinks I'm smart.

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