"In the end, you didn't remember. You remembered other things, just not me...damn it, this is just horrible. For you to believe me so easily when I said I was Kamukura...this really is just horrible. Does my existence barely mean anything to you?"
"...Huh? Eh? W-What?"
I didn't know what to say. An intense chill assaulted my spine, and my teeth began to chatter like a drum.
"A-A-Are you really...M-Matsuda-kun...?"
"The real Izuru Kamukura has been taken from here long time ago. That means you and I are the only ones left...almost as if someone planned this all out."
That impossible string of thought that floated in my head took the form of a concrete truth. I desperately opened up Ryouko Otonashi's Notebook and flipped through the pages in a frenzy, searching for anything that would deny this impossible truth.
Then, after a while, my hands stopped.
In the Notebook were an amazing amount of portraits detailing Matsuda-kun. Looking up and confirming the individual in front of me one more time, the scattered puzzle pieces in my thoughts immediately were placed back together.
"B-But why...? How come I'm not-"
The heartbeat in my chest, the rise of emotions-
"...I know. You're not feeling anything."
Ironically, those words proved that he was Matsuda-kun.
After all, the only other person who knew my method in recognizing Matsuda-kun was, Matuda-kun himself.
"That's because you're beginning to remember things again. Because you've began to regain your memory...you've stopped thinking about me."
"...Eh?"
"In the end, that shows how my existence wasn't anything special to you. But, you forgot about that fact...that's why you were filled with such emotion towards me."
Matsuda-kun isn't important to me?
Because I forgot that, I thought he was important to me?
"W-What are you talking about...I don't get it..."
Then that intense itching entered my brain again.
I remembered. The things I would have said to Matsuda-kun when meeting him, the things I would have done when meeting him, why I wanted to even meet him so bad in the first place. I remembered the reasons for everything.
"W-What is this...why..."
Suddenly, I wasn't able to believe anything.
Not Matsuda-kun, not myself,
Not even the world.
I spontaneously began stepping back. But, those legs immediately began to stop. Behind me stood a wall blocking my way, so I just stopped and stood there.
Matsuda-kun began taking steps as if pursuing me, impatiently moving forward.
"M-Matsuda-kun? What's wrong...?"
I cried out with a voice tinged with terror.
He responded with a pale face.
Tension building to the point where it could take my breath away, filled with fear I spoke that name.
"C-Could it be...Junko Enoshima's fault?"
He stopped in his tracks and stared at me with a piercing glare.
"...Ah, that must it be it."
That sharp glare felt as if it pierced my entire body.
These are Matsuda-kun's eyes?
Are you really Matsuda-kun?
I quickly swallowed those words almost coming out of my throat. I could tell that they would only make matters worse.
"...Hey, Matsuda-kun. Let's stop this."
Being cornered by Matsuda-kun like this, pleading was all I could do.
"How about we just head back to the laboratory? We could just relax and chat while you perform treatment on me. If we do that...everything will go back to normal!"
By the end of my pleading, my voice changed into a scream.
After all, this is just wrong!
This has to be wrong!
"...It's already too late."
But, Matsuda-kun turned his head.
"I can't go back anymore. Neither you nor I...we can't go back..."
Hearing his freezing voice, my whole body quickly began to grow cold.
"W-Why are you saying that?"
"Why are YOU spouting these cruel words."
Continuing with that freezing voice, he spoke with rage and irritation.
"You still can't remember what I've done to protect Junko Enoshima? I see, then I'll make you remember."
"I-It's alright! Let's just forget about this and get away from this place!"
"Nothing will change even if we forget, no one knows that better than you do!"
"I don't know anything!"
Reaching my limit, I shrieked with all my might.
But Matsuda-kun, without paying it mind-
"...Alright, just hear me out."
But, why was he speaking with such a sad face?
I'm the sad one here.
"Hope's Peak Academy's Worst Incident...everything changed because of it. No, I finally realized it because of that incident. The fact that my life which I thought was completely normal, was actually a fake scenario set up to control me...."
Those words were not directed towards anyone, not even me, but towards himself.
"I've been fooled by Junko Enoshima all this time...completely fooled...but even so, I couldn't stay away from her...I thought I could save her. I thought I would be able to stop her...that's what I was made to believe."
His voice immediately began to stain with bitterness.
"In order to protect her, I concealed her existence itself. But regardless of that, she went ahead and even killed the Committee Board members...that's why I went as far as to hide those corpses. I dealt with the evidence for her sake."
As my ears took in his words, my mind began playing through all the scenes that had occurred up to this point. There was no time to even feel the itching.
"Not only that...I even murdered people for her sake. In order to silence Soushun Murasame, who knew the truth about the incident...it's the same with that Yuuto Kamishiro...for her sake, I couldn't let them live. That's why...I killed them..."
I was completely submerged by the torrent of truth blasting out of Matsuda-kun. But there was something I needed to know no matter what, so I struggled to keep my head above the waves as I attempted my question.
"I-Is she really that important...? Junko Enoshima...is really that...i-important to you...?"
"She is."
Matsuda-kun responded with no hesitation.
"W-Why is she...so important to you?"
As my tears of confusion and fear pushed me against the flood, I struggled forward as I frantically raised my feeble voice.
"It's because of what she said to me. What she said to me when I lost what was once important to me. 'From now on, I'll be what's important to you.' It was ridiculously impudent...but thanks to that impudence, I was prevented from being all alone. She's not family, a lover, or even a friend...but she's someone just as important to me as any of those."
Just as important as any of those, that's how Matsuda-kun felt about Junko Enoshima.
It felt like everything was over.
No, rather, everything was over from the beginning. I had no chance of winning from the start.
Someone who had no past had no chance of competing with Junko Enoshima.
Frustration, jealousy, there was none of that.
'It's over' was all I could feel.
I let out a huge breath. Contained in that breath was my resignation to the entire world.
And then it happened.
A clashing sound could be heard, and Matsuda-kun instantly turned around.
The scene past his shoulder was laid out for me.
I could see a girl standing in the elevator.
"Look's like...I was right on time..."
With showy makeup as if straight from a fashion magazine, and huge inflated fluffy blonde hair. The uniform was popped open enough for a ridiculous amount of cleavage, along with an insanely short skirt from which long, slender white legs ran down.
"Junko Enoshima!"
I shouted out with confidence.
"Junko Enoshima...?"
Matsuda-kun mumbled mixed with doubt.
Huh?
"Oh, it's not like I came here to get in your way or anything..."
Without even a word being said, she began explaining herself.
"I just came here to provide the supplementary explanation...it appears to be the right scenario for this..."
The blonde haired girl with showy makeup unmatchingly spoke in a hesitant manner, wait, isn't that kind of weird?
"Um, well this explanation...you can probably tell from my appearance but, Needs be that I am to follow Junko-chan's Scenario, only to enact this part...yeah, that's what this is."
Then I was once again attacked by that severe itching. It was so bad that I felt like I wanted to claw my hands into my brain, and then immediately after that-Along with feeling like my vision opened up, I remembered.
I remembered the face of the girl standing in front of me.
This face I've been seeing was not Junko Enoshima, but someone else.
That's right, that would be Mukuro Ikusaba's face.
But, at the same time another question floated up in my head. If the me right now was able to recognize Mukuro Ikusaba, what about the past forgetful me? Showy makeup, blonde hair, popped open uniform, insanely short skirt, if I saw that disguised girl, would I be able to connect things together and realize it's Mukuro Ikusaba?"
"Then, does this mean...the Junko Enoshima I've know all this time..."
"I'm sorry."
The girl bowed her head.
"To explain things...the Junko Enoshima you've met was really me disguised as her."
Disguised...Basically, a fake?
"But, it's not like I did that because I wanted to...it was because Junko-chan told me to...that's why even my lines were set up by Junko-chan..."
Then, what about the real Junko Enoshima?
"So, this is the most important part but, the reason why I did all of this was-"
"Because I hid Junko Enoshima, right?"
Matsuda-kun's irritated words interrupted her.
"Because I hid Junko Enoshima, the real her is gone...and taking advantage of that, you become Junko Enoshima. Doing so, you make this one believe in Junko Enoshima's existence."
"...U-Um, what are you guys talking about?"
Make me believe in Junko Enoshima's existence? But why?
I was completely lost.
"Basically, Enoshima anticipated my actions. She saw through my plan in hiding her...and is now simply spectating my actions in amusement."
Spectating?
I frantically looked around the hall. There must have been something here indicating that someone was spectating us but, there weren't any peeping holes or hidden cameras anywhere. Huh? Why?
"This is ridiculous...to think she'd be this driven by despair...I don't want to believe this but, she must have gotten near me at some point..."
Whatever he was about to say, it quickly faded away.
I was already incapable of understanding his feelings.
His frustration towards Junko Enoshima.
His resentment against Junko Enoshima.
To the point of despair, I couldn't understand anything.
But, there was one thing that was clear to me.
Once again to the point of despair, very clear to me.
"He must love her...but at the same time, hate her right?"
"That's right..."
Matsuda-kun quietly nodded.
He confirmed my thoughts.
I was right to give up.
There was nothing I could but to give up and let everything end.
This is the end of my world.
This is the end of the world of Matsuda-kun and I.
The moment I gave up, the curtains of my soul began to slowly fall- thump
Huh?
"That's why...I have to end this."
While covering his face with both hands, Matsuda-kun let out a huge sigh. He then lifted his face with eyes brimming with unwavering determination.
"It's likely that my desire to protect her was...true despair. That's why unless I end this...my despair won't end either."
That was the voice of someone who gave up on everything.
"That's why, I have no choice but to end this..."
His eyes were full of anger, sadness, love, and hatred, all boiled and concentrated together. But even then, there was a mysterious calmness expressed on his face. thump thump
Huh? But why?
"I didn't want Junko Enoshima to get involved with others...I thought I would be protecting her that way..."
Matsuda-kun began to close our distance at a slow pace.
"That's why I hid her...that's why I desperately tried to hide her..."
thump thump thump thump
As Matsuda-kun drew closer, the beats in my heart grew louder and louder.
"But it was pointless. My actions did nothing. What I did meant nothing to Enoshima...in the end, there was nothing she could do but to inflict despair on anyone involved with her. That's why this is despair...the fact that I finally understand that."
I finally understood as well.
The thumping in my chest, I just now remembered.
The moment I gave up on everything, I remembered my feelings towards Matsuda-kun.
This must be because of the Scenario Junko Enoshima set up.
In order for despair, she had me finally remember it.
"That's why I've decided...to end things once and for all."
Matsuda-kun finally stopped in front of my eyes.
The distance between us was to the point where our feet almost touched, and while I felt the continuous heartbeat in my chest, I felt dizzy with blood rushing to my head as I looked at him.
Then, as if about to embrace me, he took those hands and squeezed them around my neck.
I was done for.
There must have been no other way. After all, Junko Enoshima was an important existence for him. Seeing how no one loved Matsuda-kun more than I did, I understood that.
But, to the very end,
I wanted to die in the world of Matsuda-kun and I.
That was the hope that embraced me to the very end.
"Is this also for the sake of...Junko Enoshima...?"
With that faint hope in my chest, I timidly asked that question.
"...No, this is for my sake."
His calm response surprised even me.
I've already accepted this.
I've already completely accepted Ryouko Otonashi's end.
"You don't need to remember anything anymore..."
I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks as he spoke those gentle words.
"...This is, the end of everything."
"Yeah, I know. After all, this has nothing to do with me, right..."
He then calmly began to put force into his hands.
But it I wasn't in pain.
In fact, the warmth coming from the palms of his hands felt comfortable, I was most likely smiling.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
My raging heartbeat. My entire body heating up. Intense ringing in my ears.
I guess I was at least a bit scared, but Matsuda-kun's face in front of me seemed to become gentle, as he released his extreme stress.
Ah, It really is Matsuda-kun.
As I burned that face into my memory, I slowly closed my eyes.
I'll be done at this rate.
Everything will be over.
It'll finally-
not be over.
"Upupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupupu."
It was all of a sudden.
That familiar sinister laughing voice began to echo within my ears.
"C'mon, I've said it before haven't I? I'd murder you bastards one day...I've come to fulfill that promise. Don't tell me you've forgotten...upupupu."
That giddy voice forced my eyes open, and all I saw was Matsuda-kun's surprised face.
I could see a black figure standing behind him.
Super High School Level Despair.
Walking from behind Matsuda-kun, she slowly approached my face. Once she got close enough to the point where she was lined up with Matsuda-kun, the face within the figure finally presented itself to me.
I could remember it now.
That face, was me.
"Upupupu! That's right! Ryouko, Otonashi, never, even, existed, in, the, first, place! Upupu, hilarious isn't it? It's so despair inducing that it's hilarious!"
That voice that rang out, was of myself.
By the very end I remembered.
I finally remembered everything.
At the same time, everything crumbled apart.
The scenery I perceived to be an immutable existence, easily, and then completely crumbled apart. It was like that sand castle. No matter how elaborate or stable it appeared to be, it easily crumbled apart like that sand castle. My entire body's skin, muscle, bones, all like dry sand crumbled apart, and I faded away.
Everything crumbled away, and went back to normal.
My world ended, and her world was created.
That would be my, Ryouko Otonashi's, final moment.
Then, everything finally returned back to normal.
The strength within those hands gradually began to weaken as energy left the entire body.
Then Matsuda finally relinquished his grip on that girl.
clang
A sound rang out from the ground. It was a knife tainted by blood. It was a knife engraved with Hope's Peak Academy's emblem. Blood could be seen dripping down around it, and soon it developed into a sizeable pool of red.
Putting my hand towards my stomach, I could feel a warm sensation.
Matsuda then returned his eyes to that girl.
"...Listen, you bitch."
He spoke while suffering.
"B-Before I die, you should know that...what I told you was a lie. That wasn't any kind of treatment. I've been...preventing, you, from, remembering, anything, at all..."
I already know that
I then heard that voice.
The mouth of that girl who responded began to swerve.
It must have been a smile.
Smiling from the taste of the knife that pierced Matsuda-kun's flesh.
And that's when Matsuda confirmed it.
The fact that the person known as Ryouko Otonashi, no longer exists.
"Um, by the way..."
Mukuro Ikusaba's murmuring voice could be heard.
"I was only supposed to appear in Junko-chan's likeness in front of the real one, but I accidentally got caught by Madarai at one point...but I really didn't caught by anyone else..."
"O-Obviously..."
Matsuda coughed up blood along with his resentful voice."
"A-Anybody who knew would easily be able to tell...even if you are sisters, you two are still different people...besides, the Enoshima who appeared before me...is definitely the real one."
Hearing the words "different people", Ikusaba, as if annoyed, turned her eyes away from him and instead placed them only on that girl and spoke.
"That's why...for this case, besides me being disguised as Junko-chan, the real Junko-chan conducted her own secret plans as well...it's just that, she herself did not even realize that...meaning, Junko-chan was deceived by herself."
"I-In the end...everything went just as planned...from the very beginning straight to the end..."
Matsuda spoke to that girl as well. While speaking, his consciousness was beginning to fade away, and just standing appeared to be a struggle. But even so, his frail gaze continued to focus on that girl.
"B-But there's one thing I don't understand...why you planned such a troublesome turn of events. Why you went so far to have me take away your memory...in order to escape investigation from the school...it doesn't sound pleasant at all...but even so, you were able to push through all of it. T-Then why..."
Failing to keep his ground, he finally sat down. But Matsuda continued his interrogation, resolute on obtaining his answer.
"W-Was it to...p-pull me, who was always thinking of you, into despair?"
That girl then began to finally move.
She gently caressed his face with her hand in an almost lovingly way, and sat down next to him, paying no matter to the blood spread around the area.
She then drew Matsuda's face, whose eyes were beginning to drift away, towards her own, and whispered.
I'll tell you.
That whisper was filled with a gentle feeling love, but it soon radically changed.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Don't get so ahead of yourself! There's no way in hell I'd go through this pain in the ass mess just to bring you into despair! What the hell are you thinking!?"
As soon as those words finished, that girl immediately thrusted her hand away from Matsuda's face.
Doing so, Matsuda collapsed onto the pool of blood he created.
"Y-You don't give a damn...is what you're saying, huh..."
Matsuda muttered those words as he laid on his back gazing towards the ceiling.
Staring at that face from straight above was that girl. Their faces were close enough for the tips of their noses to easily touch. But even so, his gaze didn't exactly match up with hers, as it began to absent-mindedly falter.
"I guess...I don't have anything to with this...t-that really was the case after all..."
Because of the overflowing blood, I felt an unnatural warmth developing in the back of my throat. But, that soon faded away.
"H-How long have you felt that way...has it been since...we were children?"
"Upupupupu."
That girl's face then warped into a cruel smile.
"What if I told you...that the reason your mom got that way was because of me? What kind of face would you show me?"
"...Wha-?"
Pain as if a sharp needle passed through his heart was displayed.
"You're, you're not serious...are you?"
As he spoke with that shivering voice, bits of blood splattered onto that girl's face from his mouth. It stood out more than even her cruel, inhumane smile.
"A-answer me..."
While Matsuda grew more and more grave, Enoshima on the other hand seemed to fall into ecstasy. Without giving any response, that girl just continued to watch as she cupped her chin in her hands.
Matsuda's soul was falling into the depths of despair.
His own meaning of life was thoroughly and decisively violated, and was then rejected.
He had completely given in to despair.
"P-Please...respond..."
His clinging words barely formed into words at all.
"C'mon...what's your answer...Junko Enoshima..."
That was the end.
Without ever hearing his answer, Yasuke Matsuda died.
Completely submerged in despair, he died.
Once she confirmed everything had ended, Junko Enoshima slowly got up.
But, she ceased her actions and decided to look down for a while longer.
She stared at the Yasuke Matsuda who had experienced his last breath not too long ago.
"There's no way this would have nothing to do with me..."
There was a hint of sadness laid somewhere in that murmuring voice.
"After all...you were the most important person to me of all..."
Those were her true feelings.
Yasuke Matsuda was an especially important existence for Junko Enoshima. Ever since they were children, he always stood up for her, always continued to unconditionally love her, and above all, just being by his side made her heart feel warm.
But, she killed off that existence with her own hands. She stepped on it, forced it past the gates of despair, and brutally murdered it.
"This...this is..."
But, that's what Enoshima had desired.
She loved him so much, that irreplaceable existence, more important than anyone else, almost obsessed with him to the point of insanity, always wanting to be within his embrace, even living in a world with only him would be fine. And by losing that incredible existence, just how much despair would I fall in?
She nurtured her love for Matsuda all this time just to get a taste of that feeling. Seeing her loved one be smothered by despair during his last moments, she pretty much lived to experience that spectacle.
Finally getting to taste that despair,
"...INCREDIBLE!!"
It was more than anything she could have hoped for.
"Too depressing! Too good! My chest is gonna tear open! This is true self-loathing! I want to die! This is! This is the despair that comes from losing a loved one!"
While Enoshima's being was assaulted by that despair, she kicked Yasuke Matsuda's corpse with all her strength.
"Amazing, amazing! Amazingamazingamazingamazingamazing!"
While absorbed in screaming, she kicked the corpse of the one she so dearly longed for with no mercy whatsoever.
Flowing out of her eyes were a continuous stream of tears.
While those tears of delight, lament, and confusion overwhelmingly flowed, kicked her beloved's corpse until it was a lump of meat barely holding any resemblance to its original form.
"Upu...upupupu...upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu. Upupupu."