I walked into my house like I owned the place. Er, bad example. Guess that phrase doesn't work so well when you actually do own the place. Pointless either way, seeing as how I was there alone at the time. Aaron was once again God only knows where.
For want of anything else or better to do, I went through my closet. If I was going to complete the makeover, I was going to do it right. That meant, making sure the wardrobe went along with my personality and newly styled hair. The clothes that didn't fit the description I thought they should, they were thrown in a garbage bag to be taken to a charity.
In the end, I had decided to give away all my long sleeved shirts. I just saw no need for them anymore. Plus, I never liked wearing them much anyway. Reminders of what had been. I wanted hope for the things to come. Some other items were given away as well, but are not of any importance that would require a mention as to what they were. One thing was for sure, none of my shoes were gonna go anywhere. True shoe whore, who me?
When I was all finished, I loaded the garbage bags into my car so I could take them to a local shelter first thing in the morning. Just as I had placed the final bag into my trunk, a car pulled up behind me. Right away I noticed it was Ashur, Molly and their adorable baby girl they had named Olivia. Ashur had got out of the car and just stood there staring at me.
“Rae?” There was complete shock in the sound of his voice.
“I don't look that different do I?” I let out a small chuckle.
“You look-” Ashur started to say but, Molly cut him off.
“Hot.” We both turned to stare at her. “Well I mean, you always looked hot, but... Okay, shutting up now.” Ashur and I laughed at her as she turned all her attention back to her child.
“You really don't look like you at all. You were beautiful before, but now you have sort of an exotic look. Men will be tripping all over themselves to get to you. As if you didn't have enough trouble with males at the moment.”
“Uh, thanks Ash. I know right, I have no idea what I am going to do.”
“Anyone else see you yet?” Molly asked as she came walking up with Olivia in her arms.
“You two are the first. Just got it done this morning. Decided it was time for a change.”
“Good change,” Molly said with a smile.
“Thanks.”
“Don't mention it.”
“So what's with the garbage bags. Dead bodies?” Leave it to Ashur to ask that.
“No,” I laughed, “it's all the old clothes I decided I no longer needed. Basically, I am completely transforming my life.”
“I'll say,” he said.
“Hey Molls, If you want to look through some of the clothes, you are welcome to them before I take 'em over to the shelter.”
“Cool, thanks hon. I'll definitely take a look.”
“More like she needs to, her wardrobe consists mostly of maternity clothing,” said Ash.
“At least it's all cute.”
“You tell him Molls.” We all were standing on my lawn now, just near dying of laughter. Olivia and passersby looking at us like we were mental. After a short while, we all calmed a bit and went into the house.
“So what brings you here?” I asked politely.
“Molly wanted to swing by. We were just a short while away looking at some stuff for the baby.”
“If I had known you were coming by, I would have picked up.”
“What are you talking about, this place is spotless.”
“Thanks Molls. It's really not, but thanks.” I laughed.
“Never pegged you for a clean freak Rae.”
“Oh hush Ash.” He immediately closed his mouth and held his breath as if trying not to make any sound.
“Must you take everything so literally?” I asked him. He continued to hold his breath until he couldn't anymore. It escaped from his mouth in a rush.
“Such a dork,” Molly teased.
“But I'm your dork.”
“Yes. Yes you are.” She let out a soft laugh.
See, that's what I wanted. I wanted a love like Molly and Ash's. One that seemed effortless, boundless, dare I say, perfect. I understand that nothing is perfect, but if it were, I imagine it would look like their love.
Meanwhile, this had only made me realize my problems all the more. I definitely needed to get my head screwed on straight and sort it all out. But, how did one go about doing that. I hadn't the first clue on where to begin.
Molly and Ashur seemed to sense my thoughts for they just sat there quietly waiting for me to figure things out.
“Sorry guys. My mind is just a mess lately.”
“It's totally understandable,” Molly said as she made her way to, giving me a hug in an effort to comfort me.
It felt like I could finally breathe and think a little better when the doorbell rang. Damn doorbell. Regardless of not wanting to answer it, I got up and did just that anyway.
“Hey is Raven home?” A man asked as soon as I opened the door.
I looked at my feet and hands as if I was making sure I was still standing there. “Last time I checked, Tanner.”
“Oh my..Raven?”
“That is I. Seriously, I'm not that different looking am I. Ashur barely recognized me at first either.”
“Oh is now a bad time?” He asked picking up on the fact that they were visiting. I desperately wanted to tell him yes, because well, it was. But,I was never one to be openly and overly rude, so I told him it was alright.
“How can I help you, Tanner?”
“We need to talk.”
“We certainly do,” I replied. Although, I doubted we wanted to talk about the same thing.
“Hey Molly, Ashur,” he greeted them as we entered the living room.
“Molly you remember Tanner. Ash, I'm not sure if you do or not.”
“Yeah, from the club,” came the reply. “Hey man.”
“Hello Tanner. Nice to see you again.”
“Likewise. What a cute kid you got.”
“Thank you.” Molly was practically beaming. “She is a little angel. We are so blessed.”
“Yeah...when she is sleeping,” Ashur added swiftly. He then had to move away from Molly before she reached over and lightly slap him on the shoulder.
“Ash, you're just jealous that Molly has to spend all her time away from you now.”
“Me? Jealous of an infant? Yeah right.” It was then that Livvie started crying. She was hungry and no just was not in the cards. Molly politely excused herself off to the spare bedroom to feed her child.
“Man I love that baby!” I squealed as Molly walked away. “She already knows how to push her daddy's buttons.” Ashur just frowned at me. Tanner laughed. This earned him a frown too.
There was a moment of awkward silence before anyone spoke again. It was Ash.
“What is so fragile that just saying it's name breaks it?”
“Too easy! Silence,” said Tanner.
“Okay then how about this. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
“Letter M.” Tanner didn't even need a moment to think.
“Smart guy huh, how about, He starts and ends 2 common English words. One painful in love, one painful in everyday matter. Do you know what 2 words I must be?”
This time I answered. “Heartache and headache. Pick some tougher ones Ash. Sheesh. Pronounced as one letter, written with three, two letters there are,and two only in me. I'm double, I'm single, I'm black, blue, and gray, I'm read from both ends, and the same either way. What am I?”
“No clue,”both guys said at the same time.
“An eye.”
“I so knew that!” Ashur yelled out.
“Sure ya did,” I joked.
It was not too long before Molly came back to join us all in the living room. “Did I miss all sorts of exciting things?”
“Not really,” I told her.
“Well, Rae didn't want me to tell you but she totally made out with Tanner.”
“Ashur! Did not!”
“Thou doth protest too much dear Raven.”
Of course Tanner was just sitting there laughing. Molly was looking at Ash like he had lost the last of his marbles. He had so few to begin with, such a shame.
“Ash honey. Stop making stuff up you goober. These two don't need you adding to their drama,” Molly said in a polite, hush up tone.
“ I've caused drama now?” I asked.
“You know what I meant Rae. Anyway, we have to head out now. Sorry I can't stay and visit more. Ash needs to be up at the butt crack of dawn. Otherwise we would.”
“It's alright. Thanks for stopping in and letting me see my little Livvie. I'm gonna spoil her rotten.”
“Oh no you aren't!” Ashur hollered.
“Try and stop me.” I am sure the grin on my face was bigger than it had ever been before.
I gave them both a hug and kissed Olivia softly on the forehead as I bade them farewell and told them I loved them. Also, I told them they had better stop by soon or I was going to hunt them down. They just laughed as they exited. Must not have realized I was serious. Oh well.
That left me and Tanner alone. The house had fallen silent. Not even the sound of a leaky faucet could be heard. Utter silence. Neither one of us knew what to say to the other. So for now, we just sat there, staring at the floor, or awkwardly at each other. When one of us finally did speak, it was Tanner.
“So Aaron came to see me.”
“Ah hell. Everything okay?”
“Well let's just say I am probably not welcome here at the moment.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“He showed up at my apartment, demanding that I stop sleeping with you.”
“I told that idiot there was nothing going on. Why the hell did he go over to your place?” It was more a rhetorical question than anything.
“He seemed to be so sure I was doing you. Was so pissed off, actually. I thought I had finally convinced him he was wrong when he just shouted out that I could have you anyway.”
“That's really what he said?”
“Well, uh, no.”
“Lying to me, is not a smart thing to do.” It was funny how much braver I felt around Tanner. I would never dare to speak like this to Aaron.
“It's just I don't think you should hear it.”
“I'll be the judge of that.”
“He told me that he wasn't sure why he was wasting his time. That you were a 'diseased riddled whore that spread her legs for everyone she met.' That was the nicest things he said.” Anger was not an emotion I ever saw in Tanner, but it was plain as day on his face and in his voice as he spoke.
In an instant, I began to cry. No longer able to hold back their tears that had been welling up behind my eyes. I wanted to run far away and never look back. Then at the same time, I still felt I couldn't. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I felt I was stuck here.
“Shh, shh. Don't cry it's alright. If it helps, he was drunk, so it wasn't really him talking.” I heard Tanners voice comforting me as he pulled me towards him and held me close. My face against his chest.
“That's an awful excuse,” I whispered through tears.
“I know it is.”
“Why would he think I was cheating on him. I could never do that.”
He tilted my chin up to face him. “ I know Raven. Not many girls would pass this up.” He gestured to himself. “But, you did. Because you love Aaron and I respect that. I hate that he has you crying into my arms right now and all I can do is tell you that I respect you enough to let you love him.”
“Seems so wrong.” Once again, whispering through tears.
“It's certainly not right,” he whispered as he brought my face up to his and kissed me gently on the lips. Not a lingering kiss. Just a quick gentle kiss. Innocent. Like a child would kiss their mother good night. Somehow though, I found myself wanting more. Like a good, faithful girlfriend, I refused to give into that want.
Either way, this couldn't lead to anything good. That I was almost sure of.
Authors note: So before I go into all my rambling I want to shout out to 4 very important people! These people are important because they have decided (for some reason unknown to me :P) to join my fans. So a big thank you to: Poppyroe, ElegantAngel, SkiesOfWinds and last but certainly not least ninjariceiv!
I know the last update was a short one, so I worked my butt off to be able to post this one for you today. Since I was in a hurry to get this up, I have not edited it yet. But hey, I've been a good girl and updating lots lately. =) So a few temporary errors are forgivable right? Already working on the next chapter, not sure when I will get it up but, hopefully soon. I hate to leave ya with that ending for such a long time!
Also I am not sure how many chapters are left, but I know that this story is nearing it's end. It won't be for a few more chapters yet, but just know that the end is near.=( Makes me sad and happy at the same time lol.
In other news, I have nearly 30 fans now! Woot! So happy! I said a while back if I ever got 30 fans I was going to do something cool or something anyway lol. So I am trying to think of a contest idea or something. Obviously, I am open to suggestions. So I think that is all I want to say at the moment. Anything else escapes me for the time being. Have a fabuous day, night or afternoon! Love ya all!
~Beautiful Lies