The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Ashton's POV
Luke and I were sitting in the train car as it rolled along the tracks. Everything was packed away, and I had the honor of sitting in a lap of luxury in Luke's train car. He was sitting in a chair, gazing out the window. He had a glass of water in his hand, but the ice had long melted.
I sat across the room, I found it nice to relax but something was eating at me. I looked at Luke, I had a feeling he had the answer for me. Whether he would give it is another question.
"Luke," I spoke. He turned his head to me, and just looked at me. Along he had a questioning look on his face. "I was just wondering something."
"You were right to shoot that bear." Luke said and turned back towards the window.
"No, that wasn't it." I said and Luke turned his head back to me. "Do accidents happen often?"
"Definitely." Luke answered. "All the time."
"You don't seem too bothered by that." I replied.
"What am I supposed to tell you?" Luke asked. "There's been several accidents since you've started. Do you want me to lie?" Luke looked me up and down. "Don't worry I'm fine."
" I didn't say weren't - "
"That's why you're asking." Luke said. "You can stop wondering if I'm going to die tomorrow."
"I didn't say anything about it." I sighed.
"I bet CiCi is trying to scare the living hell out of you. That's what she does to everything. She's bad for business but she knows what she's doing." Luke said as he stood up, he ran a hand through his hair. "What's the date?"
"Nineteenth, why?" I asked.
"Hm. I guess it is next performance." Luke said as he looked at a calendar on the wall. "Well if I'm going to die it would be then."
"Why?" I asked.
"Our performances are themed." Luke said. "Once a year we do a primal themed one. It's the biggest one."
"Why?" I asked again.
"Because it's super dangerous." Luke replied. "In practice for it last year three people died." He turned to me and showed no sign of fear.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.
"Because it was roustabouts." Luke said as he narrowed his eyes at me. "You work around professionals. You'll want to try what we're doing." Luke walked closer to me. "If you should be worried about anyone it should be yourself."
"What do you do?" I asked as Luke went to walk to the other side of the room.
"What did I just tell you?" Luke asked as he turned back around.
"Tell me, it can't hurt." I responded.
Luke sighed. "You remember Jewel, right?" I nodded. "We stage a fight. Man verses beast or something."
"What do you do for that?" I asked.
"We're supposed to square off and eventually she's supposed to jump on me." Luke said. "If it goes as planned she'll be faking it as much as I am."
"And if it doesn't?"
"Well she would see me as a threat and attack me." Luke shrugged.
"You don't seem to bothered with those odds." I said.
"The circus is absolutely crazy." Luke said. "You either learn to be crazy with it, or you die trying. I think I've told you before, but for a lot of people this is all they have. If they don't try for it they have nothing. There's a reason you're a roustabout and not a performer."
"I don't have the talents to be a performer." I shrugged.
"You don't have the daring attitude to be a performer." Luke said. "You have to be willing to do anything and everything. Even if it means fighting a tiger."
"Oh so if you had to go be an performer in the cooch tent?" I cocked an eyebrow.
"Been there, done that." Luke shrugged.
"You have no shame." I sighed.
"I'm trying to get that through to you." Luke rolled his eyes.
"Why would you ever want to join the circus?" I sighed.
"You did." Luke retorted. He let out a sigh. "I feel at home here. You would be amazed at what an outcast I was in every other aspect of my life."
"CiCi is always really worried about you, but you don't seem worried about anything." I said.
"Ashton, I warned you not to be an idiot with animals. I helped out other roustabouts because I didn't want them to get mauled. I took care of Michael for three hours to make him feel better. Last night I brought a drunk Calum back to his train car and I took care of you. I care." Luke huffed, as if I had offended them. "If I was not worried about others I would not attend their well beings"
"Sorry for offending you." I said.
Luke laid across his bed and looked at the ceiling. "Trust me Ashton, it's not easy. But it's all we have. You have to live with it."
"So if something happens to you I have to live with it?"
"What else do you want from me?" Luke sighed. His eyes were closed and his hands laid across his stomach. He seemed very uninterested in me.
"You don't seem like you would ever consider me a part of your life." I sighed.
"You're a nice addition but you're not a necessity." Luke said.
Ouch.
I blinked a few times and did not know what to say. I guess I was not something needed. It made sense. Luke was dedicated to his work, if he could make time for me he would. Otherwise he never would look my way.
When I looked to Luke I saw his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Why does that upset you?"
"It doesn't." I shook my head.
"Come here, love." Luke opened his arms up and I shook my head. "Ash, come lay with me."
"Why?" I sighed.
"Because I like you so come here." Luke groaned loudly.
"You just said you didn't." I huffed and folded my arms.
"No I did not!" Luke sighed. "Look, you're not my first priority. You have to work your way up to that. I would not drop everything for you at this point in time. Why would anyone do that for anyone?"
"I would do that for you!"
"Well that's your first mistake." Luke huffed and rolled on his side. "Never mind. Sit there all night if you want."
I said nothing. Instead turned my head out the window to glance around us and keep my mind busy.
AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION; Ari
Woo yay done. Also I wrote this on my phone so pardon all typos.
Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX