"I lost the baby." Jenna manages to get out as tears run down her face. Jesse stares at the wall behind us, sitting next to her in a stock still position. "I don't know what I did wrong." Jenna sobs.
"You did nothing wrong." Scott says, moving to sit beside her. "The doctor said that your body just wasn't ready for the baby. There was nothing you could do."
"I can't believe I killed my baby." She said ignoring Scott, falling into Jesse's arms crying louder than ever. Jesse hugged her, holding her close.
"You didn't kill the baby, you didn't do anything wrong." Jesse says, repeating what Scott said.
"Jenna I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do for you?" I asked her.
She shook her head. "I just want to go home."
Jesse and Jenna left a half hour later, she was in a wheel chair, walking still hurt. That left the rest of us alone. "Well, Scott and I are going to go now." Ian said. They waved goodbye and left.
Chris took my hand. "Want to see something cool?"
"Sure."
We walked out, he was a few steps ahead of me, tugging at my hand because I was lagging behind. Seeing Jenna in that state, watching her go through that pain was awful to see. I was so close to her, that I could feel her pain. I wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry. How could the world be so cruel? They would have loved that child so much, and suddenly the baby was taken away. Chris took me to the center of the parking lot and stood in front of a white dented car. He smiled proudly toward me.
"What do you think?"
"It...looks like a car... I don't know."
"This is mine." Chris said.
I raised my eyebrows. "Yours?"
"I have been taking driving lessons. This bad boy is ours."
"You got a car?!" I smiled and hugged him.
He laughed. "Now we don't have to take the bus."
"That sounds wonderful."
"Come on, I think we should go back to our safe haven."
I nodded. "That sounds great."
Even though the new car was exciting, I was still in a sad quiet mood. I stared out the window as the barren land rushed past us and Ed Sheeran played in the background. Chris's hand was on my thigh, he drove with one hand on the wheel and looked straight ahead. He was quiet too. I expected him to ask me what was wrong, but he knew, and he was shaken up too. No one wanted a child's death for their friend.
We arrived and headed upstairs. I fell into one of the beds and Chris fell down next to me. He hugged me close to him and put his head in the crook my neck. He started kissing my neck, going up, and hitting my ear. I turned around and kissed him back, this always felt good. I could feel things getting heated and I sat back.
"Chris." I whispered.
He sighed. "I'm sorry, but I hate this. I want more, I only want you. This isn't a relationship we just started! I just want to be with you." He got up and started pacing. I knew what this pacing meant. He was trying not to be angry, he was trying to work it out in his head.
"Please don't push this." I whispered. I hated keeping this from him, but I would feel awful if I gave myself away. So much had happened between us so I couldn't help but be a little uncertain and I refused to risk my future.
"I just can't keep doing this." He said motioning to me.
"So what then? You'll leave?" I blew up. "Not everything is about sex Chris. Don't you realize what you would be putting me through? I can't do it now! Don't you understand that? I can't get pregnant now!"
"We would be safe!" He argued.
"And there has always been a story of a girl getting pregnant anyway."
Chris sighed. "This is just getting difficult."
"Well that sucks, but I'm not budging." I said coldly.
"Don't you want to sleep with me?" He yelled.
"Yes! But I'm sorry, that's not enough. There is no promise of a future, there isn't a crystal ball to tell me what will happen. I have things I want to do, I have a life I want to live. I'm sorry but it won't happen!"
"Well then I don't know if I can be in this relationship anymore."
"That's fine, I don't need you pressuring me. This isn't like getting me to eat chocolate, this could change my life. And the fact that you take it so lightly is awful. You should respect my decision."
"This is something we should agree on together."
"No! Of course not! If one is unwilling, it should be done! End of story!"
Chris ran a hand through his hair. "I'm...gonna take a walk." He murmured.
"You go do that." I said, I turned to the CD player, flipping through the CD's. I heard him leave, and I sat on the bed letting myself cry a little. Why was this so hard? Why did he have to fight me on this? Couldn't he just let it go? I lay on the bed, staring out the window watching the stars. A few more tears slipped down my cheeks and then I slowly drifted off.
I woke in the morning with Chris holding me. I lay there for a while, maybe he was ok now. I didn't think it was over, but I hoped we could just let it go. I got up, twisting out of his arms and went downstairs where there was a fancy kitchen with an even fancier coffee maker. I was trying to figure it out when I felt Chris's feet pad down next to me.
"Morning." He mumbled.
"Morning." I said. I turned to him, unsure if I should smile or act serious.
"I'm sorry." He said. "I was a jerk. You have a right to your body, and to do whatever you want with it."
"What changed your mind?"
"After thinking for a while, I called Scott. I was angry, and he talked me through it. You remember Andy?" I nodded in response. "Well they slept together, and he said that after she got pregnant, he lost her. Everything was so crazy, it wasn't the right time, and she left. I don't want to lose you over something like that."
"You won't." I said shaking my head.
"I just...love you so much." He said, moving toward me, holding my hands. "I just want every part of you."
I stroked his cheek, smiling up at him. "I want that too, believe me I do. But, just not now."
He nodded. "I understand that better now. I'm willing to wait."
"Thank you." I said, he smiled, nodding. "So do you know how to work this coffee maker?" I asked him, looking back at the small black thing.
He chuckled. "Yeah, go sit, I'll get the coffee."
"Thanks babe." I kissed him and then went to sit on the couch.
We went to see Jenna a few days later, she was feeling better. Still in bed though, but Jesse was so attentive and kind, it was cute to watch.
"I'll get back to it in a week, but...it still hurts." She said, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"I understand." I said sitting next to her. "Take all the time you need."
"Yeah, we'll support you." Chris said nodding.
"I feel awful for saying this...but a little part of me is relieved. Is that wrong?"
"No, you guys weren't ready. And it costs a lot to take care of a child. It would have changed your whole world. That's not awful." I said.
She nodded. "Yeah. I did want the child though."
I smiled. "I know. And the good thing is, you're sad about it. I would be worried if you didn't care and just moved on."
"Ok." She whispered. "I have Iron Man, do you want to watch?"
I smiled. "Sounds great."
___
I stared up at the tall building. It looked like Hackley. I turned to Chris. "Don't make me go in there."
He smiled. "You have done amazing in everything else academic, why is this so scary?"
"Because it's college."
"Babe, you're going to do great. You'll love it. Now go on in, I'll be here to pick you up after school."
I nodded. "Alright, you promise?"
"The world would have to stop for me to not make it after your class ends."
I smiled. "Alright." I hugged him and then headed into class.
The room was all gray. The walls, the desks, the chairs, the only difference was that the board was white. I sat near the front. I had my pencil ready, my notebook sitting in front of me, my legs crossed, and my phone put away. I was ready to learn. The teacher walked in, she was young. She had blonde hair that flowed to her shoulders. Skinny blue jeans and beige flats. She had a Michael Kors purse and walked with confidence. She smiled at us, and set her purse down.
"Alright, well it's good to see all of you here. I'm so excited to teach you the history of music. This is my favorite part, seeing how it evolved and how creative people can get. Does everyone have something to write with? I talk fast because I get excited so be ready for lots of notes. That's the only way you'll pass this class."
Some kids groaned and she ignored them. She started writing on the board and everything began.
"That was so exciting." I said to Chris after school, running into his arms.
He chuckled and hugged me back. "I'm happy to hear it."
"I can't wait until you start next week, your going to like it I think."
"I don't know, I never really liked school."
"That's true. I remember you skipping class and smoking outside. When did you quit?" For some reason I forgot that he was smoking at one point and then stopped. I don't know how that never came up in our many conversations.
"When I fell in love with you. I started the process of quitting, I knew you wouldn't like a guy who smoked."
"When did you fall in love with me?"
"About two weeks after we started working on that math project. I just knew I needed you."
I smiled and blushed. "I'm glad you quit. It's bad for your health and the smell is awful. But honestly, if you still smoked I would stay with you. I love you too much, I would be able to get past it."
He smiled. "Well good, but I'm not going back to it. I feel a lot better now that I don't have it in my system."
"Good."
"How about we go get some coffee's?"
"Yes please! And then I have to work on homework."
He groaned. "I won't see you for months now! You get so focused on your homework!"
I shrugged. "Sorry."
He shook his head and we drove off to Starbucks.
~~~~
ONE MORE CHAPTER OF CHECK YES JULIET!!!! LET ME KNOW IF THERE ARE ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE THAT YOU WANT ANSWERED IN THE LAST CHAPTER, AND LET ME KNOW HOW I CAN IMPROVE AND GET BETTER AT MY WRITING. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT/DAY.