Tammy
I sat on Giselle's couch while I waited for August to come pick me up for our appointment. I had been here for the last 2 days trying to ignore my want and need to talk to August. He gave me space like I asked him to but it was bothering me.
Although I was mad at him I still wanted to be up under him. I had to blame that on this pregnancy because it couldn't be just me.
I missed him a lot but I needed time to think. He was wrong in this entire situation. I understand he wants to help but obviously she's taking it as more than that. Besides he can't neglect me for her. That won't work. I'll be single before I allow that to happen.
Giselle walked into the living room and sat next to me. I know she's been wanting to say something for the last couple of days but for the sake of my feelings and me not feeling good she didn't say anything.
"Go ahead G. I know you want to take up for August." I said breaking the silence.
She sighed. "I don't want to take up for him I just want you think about the whole situation." She paused. "Now he was wrong. Dead wrong.... But he really was just trying to help her. He may have gone about it the wrong way but that wasn't his intention to hurt you. He said she's done this whole "I'm gonna kill myself" routine before and he knew she would try and he couldn't have that weighing on him."
"He should have told me. I'd be a lot more understanding if he wasn't sneaking around behind my back."
"You're right but he didn't. You're not gonna leave him over this so you might as well talk it out and move past it. Besides the fact that regardless of anything else y'all are stuck together forever."
I knew she was right but I'm stubborn. They both know this.
"I'll talk to August when I'm ready to talk to him."
"Why you so stubborn?"
I shrugged. "I get it from my daddy." I said telling the truth. My father was beyond stubborn so that's where it came from.
Giselle rolled her eyes at me and got up when there was a knock on her door. She walked back in with August behind her looking like he hasn't gotten lick of sleep in days. He had bags under his eyes and they were red. He looked completely exhausted.
"Bro do you need some coffee or something?" Giselle questioned looking at his with concerned eyes.
He shook his head. "Nah I'm good." He looked at me making me feel kind of bad for leaving the way I did the other day but he crossed the line. "You ready?"
I nodded grabbing my bag and getting off the couch. He let me walk out the door first like he always did following me to his car where he opened the door for me. He let me get in before closing the door behind me and going around to his side.
He started the car and I could tell he was upset. I was mad at him but I still cared about his well-being.
"When's the last time you ate?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Not really sure."
"And you haven't been sleeping."
He shrugged once more. "Can't sleep."
I didn't look like him but it was a struggle going to sleep at night. I was so used to his body being next to me. The only reason I had no trouble eating was because my appetite was rapidly increasing.
"You're going to eat before you leave me today."
He didn't say anything or look at me. He just had this sad miserable look on his face. I know he's probably been beating himself up. I don't want him to do that he just needs to realize his faults. I need him to know he was wrong and know exactly what he did that was wrong because when we spoke it didn't seem to me that he got all of it.
Had I stayed he would have gotten me with his words because I was already having mixed feelings. I needed to think with a clear head away from him.
The doctor's visit went well. Besides Dr. Jones telling me to watch my stress levels everything was fine. He gave us new pictures of the baby and that perked August up a little.
"You hungry?" He asked.
"I'm starving actually." He smirked. "Can we go to iHop?"
"Yeah we can do that."
He made the necessary turns to get to iHop while we rode in silence. I knew he was holding back whatever he wanted to say because I asked for space. I'm glad he respected that but I guess over breakfast we can finally talk about this whole thing without me being as upset as I was. I may have seemed calm but in the inside I was beating the absolute fuck out of him.
Once we were seated we both looked over the menu. Our waitress took our drink and food order at the same time. August must have not eaten in the last 2 days because he ordered a hell of a lot of food. I felt bad for my baby so I guess now was a good time as any to talk while we waited on the food.
"I'm sorry Tammy." He spoke up first taking me by a little surprise. "My intention was never to hurt you in anyway. I really was just trying to help the girl. I wasn't thinking about the wrong in it or how it would affect you when you found out and for that I apologize. I apologize for kissing her back but I swear on everything I love that it meant nothing. I really sorry baby. I love you and you know I would never intentionally hurt you."
He looked me in my eyes as he spoke making sure I knew he was sincere. I knew he meant it when he said he was sorry and I couldn't be upset at that.
"I accept your apology August." I paused and took a sip from my water that the waitress brought back while August was talking. "Have you spoken to her since then?"
He nodded. "Only to tell her that I can't be her crutch. That's not my job or responsibility. I don't care for her in that way."
"So why did you do it in the first place?" I didn't want to seem cold hearted but I needed to know.
"She has a way of making me feel bad about different shit. I know that abortion wasn't my fault but it was still my kid as far as I know so it hits a soft spot. I can't help that." I nodded understanding.
I can't fault him for that. I listened to her throw that in his face when she came over. It was wrong of her and she needs to deal with her own demons and stop trying to throw them on other people especially August. Emotionally fucked up of not I'll beat her ass or anyone's ass over him.
I didn't want him around her like that but she must really have some issues if she's threatened to kill herself and I don't need August feeling guilty if anything happens to that girl.
I sighed at myself at what I'm about to do. "Do you think if we got her some actual help that she would actually go through with it?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I tried that years ago but she left the place. The only way it would be impossible for her to go is if she gets committed by actual doctors."
I shook my head. "Well let's get her some real help. But only if you think it's worth it."
The waitress came with our food placing it all on the table. I looked at mine and then at August's knowing I was going to eat some of that too.
"I don't know. You can't really help someone who doesn't want help. I feel like she just wanted my attention and I mistakingly gave it to her making her think it was something it wasn't. I'll wait for her to want help."
"You sure?"
He nodded before bowing his head and praying over our food. Half way through our meal August kept staring at me making me feel weird and all warm inside at the same time.
"What?" I asked trying not to smile.
"I missed you man. These last 2 days felt like months." I had to agree. I tried to act like I was all mad which I was but I missed the hell out of him too.
"I missed you too."
"I know. That's why you coming home today." Here he goes back to his demanding ways.
"Who said I was coming home?" I raised an eyebrow.
"I did. You had enough time Tammy. I can't have you away from me that long."
I smirked. "Aww you missed me that much."
"Man gon head wit all that." I reached over the table pinching his cheek only for him to slap my hand away making me laugh. "Why you always playing?"
"Don't act like you don't love it." I pinched his cheek again and he straight faced me.
"Keep it up. Ima lay these hands and it ain't gone be to pray."
I rolled my eyes. "August please."
"Begging already and I ain't even put the tip in yet." He smirked.
"You nasty." I laughed sticking a piece of sausage in my mouth.
"You know this."
After breakfast August and I were back on good terms and he took me back to Giselle's house to get my things. She was happy that we were back to being our happy selves but she told him if he ever pulled some shit like that again she would beat his ass. I totally agreed with that.
When we got home I went straight to the shower before getting in the bed next to August who was already half sleep. I cuddled up next to him and he pulled me closer. It took me absolutely no time to fall asleep.
I woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. I groaned and opened my eyes to see it was now dark outside. August was still sleep but he was starting to move around so I knew he was waking up.
"Who the fuck is that?" He asked in a raspy stone.
"Go back to sleep I got it." I slid out of bed and put my robe on before going down stairs.
I got to the door and went to the peephole to see both Tia and Draya standing there. I sighed and opened the door. "Are y'all crazy? Knocking on the door like that." I let them in before going to the kitchen because I was thirsty as hell.
"Did you forget that we had a meeting today or were you so wrapped up in August that you just didn't care?" Draya asked. I could tell she had an attitude but I couldn't care less right now. I grabbed a water and a jar of pickles out of the fridge.
"I did forget and I apologize. I had a lot going on the last few days." I downed half my water bottle before opening my pickle jar and taking one out and starting to eat it.
"When did you start eating pickles? I thought you hated them." Draya questioned with a raised eyebrow. I forget about Draya not knowing about my pregnancy when my cravings kick in.
I glanced a Tia because she already knew but she looked away. "I did but August got me hooked on them." I stated trying to save face. I mean technically I wasn't lying. August was the reason I was hooked on these pickles. Pull out game weak.
"He's changed a lot about you."
I frowned my eyebrows at her statement and finished my pickle before responding. "Are you saying that as a good or bad thing?"
She shrugged. "It's however you want to take it. I'm just letting you know you've changed."
I tilted my head to the side and looked at her like she had lost her marbles because clearly she had. "You're not about to come into my house and try to lowkey insult me. We're not doing that."
"You're house?" She chuckled. "You and I both know this house is in August's name. You're not married so..."
"And YOUR house is in Orlando's name so what the fuck you sayin?" I was starting to get pissed because where was all this coming from? And did she forget who she was talking to? She came to me and asked for forgiveness and all that other bullshit and now she wants to come in here and start with me.
"This isn't about me."
"But you just made it about you." I stood up straight.
"Can we not do this right now?" Tia stepped in. "Y'all were doing good. No need to go back to that place. Y'all made up for a reason right?"
I looked at Draya nonchalant face and shook my head. I understood when she was going though what she was going through that she would be different. Who would be the same after having to endure that type of pain over and over again? I tried being there for her she shut me out. She came to me trying to repair the damage and I did all I could. She has yet to meet me half way since the party.
To be completely honest we only speak if it has something to do with the company. We don't really hang out and if we do it's still work related. She don't fuck with me like that and I'm at the point where I'm done trying so I don't fuck with her.
I have my friends. I have family and I will always love her but she's not who she once was to me. She saying I changed but she's the main one being stank when I come around so fuck it.
"It's whatever. I'm done with this conversation. Call me when there's another meeting." I walked past both of them and to the door while they followed. I opened it and waited for them to leave.
Draya walked out first and didn't say a damn thing to me and I didn't even care. Tia stopped and looked at me. "I don't know what's going on with her. She's been acting out of character for a while now."
I shrugged. "It is what it is and it's no longer my problem. Let Orlando handle that. Or hell you can do it since you're the only friend she has left."
Tia looked at me in disbelief but I was deadass serious. I'm not stressing over Draya and her bullshit. For what? She don't pay my bills and I'm gonna succeed with or without her. I'm not pressed at all.
"I'll call you later." I nodded and she walked out. I closed the door behind her and went back to the kitchen to get another pickle. I stuck it between my teeth and closed the jar so that I could put it back in the fridge.
When I stood up and turned around August was walking into the kitchen wiping his eyes. "Who was at the door?"
"Tia and Draya. Apparently I missed a meeting today but it's okay."
"That's all the came over here for." I nodded biting into my pickle. "So why you look like that?"
"Look like what?"
"Like you want to fight."
I shook my head. "I'm just done with Draya's bullshit."
He nodded. "Bout time. So you gone go off on ya own with this fashion thing now like I been telling you?"
August mentioned me doing this on my own. I knew I could the only thing that held me back was my loyalty to Draya. We're not seeing eye to eye but I don't know if I should branch off just yet.
"If she starts messing with my money then I will but for now as long as we can do what we have to do to build this brand then I'm straight."
He smirked at me. "Well do what you gotta do. Whatever it is I'm right behind you."
"And I appreciate that." I finished my pickle and went to wash my hands before walking over to him.
"Don't bring that pickle breath over here. Ion wanna smell that shit."
"August please. You can't talk when you're morning breath could kill all the weeds in the backyard."
He threw his hand over his heart. "Damn that shit kinda hurt. I'm going back to bed." He started to walk out the kitchen with a fake pout.
"So I guess you don't want to eat huh?" He stopped in his track and turned back around. Pout gone and everything. "Fat ass."
"Chill out. I'm eating for 2 right now."
"August shut up." I laughed. "You play entirely too much."
"What man? It's possible for me to get your symptoms."
"You gone carry this baby too?"
"Nah but I'll eat whatever you eat so we'll get fat together. That's all I can offer you baby."
I shook my head. Who told me to fall in love with such a damn dweeb?
excuse all mistakes
xoxo