Throughout all of History class I could feel Ash's gaze on my back. I could barley pay attention to what we were supposed to be learning, and my anxiety began to creep up into my chest. I had no idea why I felt this way. Ash was nothing to me except an annoying asshole who, apparently was having fun trying to annoy me every chance he got. I wasn't sure if it was due to all of the negative attention I had been getting at school lately, but I really wished it would stop. I didn't need the added stress or the added attention.
I stared at the clock, counting down the seconds until the bell rang. With five minutes left, I began to pack up my books, wanting to be the first one out of the class.
"Miss Anderson, we still have five minutes of class. Please do not be disruptive by packing away your things too soon." I looked up to see Mr. Gally, our history teacher, eyeing me with disapproval. I sighed, placing my books back on the desk.
"Sorry My. Gally" I said. The last thing I wanted to do was draw more attention to myself and, of course, that's exactly what I did.
The second the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I was up and out of my seat. I didn't bother putting my books away, instead piling them into my arms and making my way for the door. Once in the hallway, I started walking towards second period Geometry. I didn't want to spend any of our free time in between classes lingering in the hallways. As I felt someone brush passed me, almost knocking my pile of books out of my hands, I looked up to see Ash.
"See you later beautiful," he said, winking, before walking off down the hall.
I sighed, regaining my balance and adjusting the grip on my books to keep them from falling over. I prayed the rest of my day would turn out to be much better than first period. I only had one other class with Ash and that was Biology, which was the last period of the day, and the last time I would have to see Ash before the end of school.
******************
By the time my lunch period came around, I had basically forgotten about Ash's existence. I was able to focus on my actual teachers and assignments and I felt as though I was even getting stared at less in the hallways. My anxiety remained at bay as it should and I was excited to see Haley at lunch.
As I made my way into the cafeteria, I immediately searched for Haley. I found her sitting at one of our usual spots, with her phone in hand, concentrating on a message she was typing out. As I walked over to the table, Haley looked up from her phone and smiled.
"Hey!" she exclaimed. "How has your day been?" She asked as though she was insinuating something.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I sat down in my normal seat next to her.
Some days, Haley and I sat alone at lunch. Just the two of us, talking about whatever was new in her life and what assignments we had to do that night. Sometimes, Haley's friends from her cheerleading squad would join us, and I would stay quiet most of lunch. I didn't have much in common with any of them. I felt a rush of relief when I noticed two of the girls from her squad sit at another table with some guys from the football team. One less lunch period to feel invisible in.
"I hear rumors Faith," she said, as though I should realize what it is she was referring to.
"Haley I honestly have no idea what you are talking about," I said, taking my history book out and opening it to todays chapter, to look over the assignment I had for that night. I wasn't really hungry enough to eat the less than pleasant cafeteria food.
"Rumor has it, Ash basically, almost, might have gone in for a kiss in the hallway and you totally denied him." She explained, all excited as though this was the biggest news she had ever heard.
"What?!" I asked, completely and utterly shocked. It was amazing how people could turn nothing into literally anything. "Who the hell told you that?!"
Haley shrugged, "I hear things." When I didn't respond right away, still basking in the realization of how unbelievable people at this school were, Haley continued. "So?" She asked.
"Haley, that is completely untrue. There was no kiss, no almost kiss, no attempt at a kiss or denial of a kiss. There was no kiss!" I exclaimed.
Haley sighed, looking disappointed. "I figured it wasn't true, knowing you and all, but a girl can hope." I rolled my eyes, still completely flabbergasted by the entire scenario. "So did anything happen?" she asked.
"What? No!" I said, looking at her as though she was insane. How many times did I have to tell her that nothing happened and how much he repulsed me until she understood?
"I didn't mean like kissing or anything!" she replied, defending herself. "I meant, like, did any type of encounter happen in the hallway with Ash, for people to make up this crazy rumor?"
I sighed as I began to tell her what had happened in history class and then the comment Ash made in the hallway, as he almost rudely knocked all of my books out of my arms. I knew Haley was going to probably over exaggerate what I was telling her, but she was my best friend and I told her everything. Plus, she couldn't help it, it was her personality and I wouldn't change her for anything in this world.
"Oh my God." She said, after I had finished telling her about the unfortunate experiences I had to endure that morning during first period. "I swear Faith he likes you and he's just acting like an ass because he doesn't know how to act around you."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "He's just an ass in general Haley. I bet he says the same bullshit to every girl in our school."
"He hasn't said any of this to me." She pointed out, raising her eyebrows. "I don't think he's ever even talked to me."
"The point is," I continued, ignoring her comments "I'm not interested. I don't see what you apparently see in him. I don't see an underlying good guy; all I see is a cocky asshole that is only trying to press my buttons because he enjoys it. That's it."
Haley sighed, turning back to the text message she had abandoned earlier on her phone.
"Alright," she said. "Whatever you say darling."
The rest of lunch went by as normal as it normally does. Haley and I talked about our classes that day, what assignments we had that night and made plans to hangout later and go to a movie. She also wanted to make plans to go shopping later that week. According to Haley I needed to expand my sad, depressing wardrobe, especially given guys were apparently paying attention to me now.
When lunch ended, we made plans to meet back at my locker at the end of the day. Haley went off to her Algebra class and I headed towards Art History. It sucked that we didn't have any classes together this semester, but I was happy to at least have lunch with her.
***************
When it came time for the last period of the day, the period I had been dreading, I made my way towards Biology. I kept my head down most of the walk, attempting to avoid making eye contact with anyone that was staring at me. Apparently I hadn't noticed that the stares only got better for a period or two before the rumor that Ash had tried to kiss me got out. Now I felt as though every eye in the building was on me.
When I walked into biology, I looked around at the tables, debating which seat to pick. Usually, I would sit by the door, but no one ever sat at that table, and given that the desks were two seated lab tables, I didn't want to risk the chance that Ash would have an open seat next to me.
I picked a table in the back, and sat next to a girl that I recognized from other classes, but couldn't remember her name for the life of me. I didn't want to sit anywhere where Ash would have the advantage of sitting behind me, and then have to go through history all over again. It irked me that I even had to go through this thought process while picking out which seat to sit in in class. Less than a week ago this wasn't even a thought that would cross my mind, let alone become a constant annoyance.
Ash ended up walking into class a minute late after the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the new period. He picked one of the three seats left in class, which was a row ahead of me and all the way to the right of the room. The table I considered sitting at by the door remained empty. I was silently thankful that I hadn't chosen that seat in the end.
As Ash took his seat, he looked over at me, smirking. Oh how I wished I could smack the smirk right off of his face. When he saw that he had caught my eye, he winked and smiled before turning back towards the front of the room. I didn't even have the chance to roll my eyes or given him a look of disgust.
I made every attempt to pay attention in class, but could feel Ash staring at me multiple times. I couldn't decide what was worse, feeling Ash's gaze on my back as it had been in History, or being able to see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I didn't understand why he was so interested in staring at me. It wasn't like he was going to see anything interesting as I sat at my freaking desk. It took every ounce of strength in me to not stand up in the middle of class and yell at him to stop looking at me. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction or embarrass myself. Knowing this school, there would be a rumor that I stood up and declared my love to him before the class was even over.
"Faith, could you please come up to the board and solve this part of the equation please." When Mrs. Laverty called on me, I sighed and got up.
Biology wasn't my strong suit so I knew I had a good chance of getting the answer wrong. Also I hadn't been paying attention, due to all of my attention being on how Ash wasn't paying attention and was only staring at me all class.
When I was walking towards the board, I felt the anxiety begin to set in. I didn't like to be the center of attention, and I definitely didn't like to be the center of attention as I attempted to answer a question I didn't know how to solve.
I was walking passed the last row of desks at the front of the room, when I tripped over someone's book that was on the floor, and fell. Thankfully, I caught myself with my hands, preventing me from smashing my face against the floor, but that didn't stop people from laughing. Within seconds, the whole class was up in roars as my face turned bright red.
Mrs. Laverty ran over to help me, bur stopped as I felt someone behind me, helping me up. When I looked over my shoulder, it was Ash. Shocked, I rushed to stand up, waving him off.
"I'm fine." I said, maybe a little too harshly. "Thanks." I quickly added in.
A look of hurt washed over Ash's face, but was gone before I could even blink. His face turned hard as he nodded is head and walked back to his desk.
"Just trying to help you, Klutz." He said.
The class laughed harder. Mrs. Laverty tried to tell the class to calm down, but her voice was drowned out the laughter.
As I felt the panic attack rising in my chest, and the feeling as though I was at the brink of drowning, I ran out of the room and away from the laughing class. I heard Mrs. Laverty yelling at the class to settle down and I was glad she hadn't tried to follow me.
I ran to the bathroom as tears were brimming on the edge of me eyes, threatening to spill over. Going into a bathroom stall, I locked the door behind me and tried to focus on calming myself down. I sounded horrible, gasping for air as though my lungs just couldn't figure out how to work on their own.
I hated this day, I hated this school and I hated Ash.
I hated myself as I remember that I had thought too soon when I was sitting at my desk in Biology. Ash did get to see something interesting happen, and I did embarrass myself.
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