As requested, there's a new update today. This is quite lengthy, eleven pages with 4.2K+ words. Hopefully, it should last to your Ziall feels until Wednesday.
I think I had a good Saturday morning, I woke up at around 7:30 and I don't know why, I'll probably get sleepy again later in the afternoon.
Currently, I'm working on chapter 22. It's quite a mess, so I'm planning to rewrite it, it turned out to be something that I didn't like. For more spoilers, just follow me on my Twitter: @Shime_TheWriter.
*****
Zayn was exchanging banters with the band: Josh, Sandy, and Dan. Josh was teasing Zayn that he found Perrie downloading manipulated naked pictures of Zayn on her phone couple of weeks ago. A cackle escaped from Zayn, clutching his stomach to stabilize his posture.
"Oh man, that girlfriend of yours is crazy with a capital K," Sandy teased, elbowing Zayn on the side.
"Yeah, man," Dan agreed. "Why won't you just tap her already?"
Zayn choked on his saliva after hearing those words. He had to wipe the tears escaping from his eyes. Those were not tears of joy, of course -they were something else.
"She's not my girlfriend," Zayn cleared the issue. He doesn't want the rest of the band thinking he has the hots for Perrie, which clearly he doesn't. His heart belonged to someone else. "It's just for the show only."
"If I have a hot girlfriend like that, I will tap her twenty-four seven," Josh snickered.
"Feel free to do that, Josh. You have my blessing," Zayn nodded, placing a hand on Josh's shoulder. Another fit of giggling erupted in the air as they talked more about what they were going to do on their next break.
"So what's the deal with you and Niall?" Sandy asked, making Zayn pressed his lips together into a thin line.
"What do you mean?" Zayn asked, wondering if the rest of the band knew whatever twisted relationship he had with their assistant.
"Look, man, I don't judge, okay," Sandy eased the tension building up in the center stage. "I don't have problems with gay people. I think they're awesome."
Zayn laughed, hiding the truth wanting to come out. "What are you talking about? Niall and I are just friends. For God's sake, he's just an employee. Do you really see me dating an insignificant assistant?" Zayn scoffed. "Besides, I'm straight. I had sex with this hot chick couple of days ago." After saying that, Zayn felt this empty hole in his heart. He wondered why he kept lying to himself that he might not be a straight guy anymore. Although, he found some women really sexy but, when it comes to Niall, Zayn was becoming breathless, speechless, and his world stopped turning for a split second.
"Sure," Sandy nodded, pretending to believe the words coming out from Zayn. "If you say so."
"Now that you mention it, where is Niall?" Josh questioned as he watched Liam, Louis, and Harry talking to one another from a great distance from them. "He's usually the first one in here."
Zayn blinked twice, wondering the same thing. Although, he wasn't receiving that much text messages from his assistant like before. Zayn was lucky to receive one or two messages per day but today, he felt like Niall disappeared altogether. That scared him.
Not a moment later, Zayn saw Niall walking, getting closer to his band mates. He noticed that the blonde was wearing thick, full clothing with long sleeves, and a pair of large sunglasses covering the majority of his face. He found that weird, considering it was a humid and a cloudy day.
"Excuse me, guys," Zayn stepped away from the band and walked towards to his band mates. It didn't take long when he heard Louis raising his voice to Niall.
What the hell is going on, he thought to himself.
Zayn got worried all of a sudden when he heard Niall sobbing on Louis' chest but the moment he heard that familiar Irish accent, it felt like a ton of bricks hitting his guts.
"Aiden raped me..."
Something snapped within Zayn, making him sprinting towards them. As soon as those blue eyes filled with tears staring deeply into his golden amber ones, Zayn felt the hard thumped beating of his heart in his chest.
"Let's go!" Zayn roared, grabbing Niall on the wrist as he dragged their assistant away until they found a private place to talk. His band mates were calling for them, but he ignored it completely. Zayn needed to deal with this firsthand.
"Let me go!" Niall screeched, trying to get away from the grip Zayn had on him. He saw the fury escaping from Zayn. Niall noticed the nostrils flaring and the mouth twitching involuntarily. And once again, he feared for his life as soon as he saw the angry golden amber eyes directed at him.
"What did he do to you!" Zayn growled.
Niall felt his knees buckling, trembling even. He had the same feeling last night as he recalled how Aiden forced himself on Niall. Without even knowing, his knees gave away, founding himself sitting on the floor.
Zayn panicked as he saw in slow motion how Niall falling down. He grabbed on him, but it was too late.
"Niall!"
Zayn dove on the ground, try to caress the blonde but as soon as his hand touched the blonde, he felt a hand slapping against his.
"Don't you dare touch me!" Niall growled back. At that moment, Zayn couldn't help but to feel hurt and confused at the same time. Hurt because the coldness tone escaping from Niall was directed to him. Confused because he doesn't understand why Niall was hostile towards him.
Zayn gave Niall distance but still close enough to reach for him. With a distance separating them, Zayn noticed the purple bruise on Niall's eye. He felt his fists were balling up on his sides.
I am gonna fucking kill him! Zayn thought.
With the glaring contest between them, Zayn was the first one to fold. He cleared his throat first after removing the hateful thoughts running around in his head.
"Talk to me, Pumpkin," His voice was soft and mellow, trying to ease the pain from Niall as much as he can. He doesn't understand why Aiden would do such a thing to Niall. If only he knew that Aiden would do that to his Pumpkin, he would never let Niall and Aiden be together.
Niall saw the fury on Zayn leaving him. But the pain still remains inside of him as he noticed the similarities between Aiden and Zayn. Now, he remembered what Louis was telling him months ago, that Aiden and Zayn were exactly the same. The eyes, the hairstyle, the ear piercing, and many more. That thought left a bad taste in his mouth, making him want to vomit at the moment.
"I don't know what you heard, but it is true that Aiden raped me."
The anger in Zayn resurfaced again. He took a risk by closing the distance between them. He gently grabbed Niall on the hand. It was a good thing that the blonde didn't flinch from his touch.
"I'm going to kill him," Zayn said with cold tone imprinted on his voice. How could someone do that a pure, innocent guy like Niall. Zayn thought that it was up to him to punish a vile creature like Aiden MacAllister.
"Don't do that, Zayn. I don't want you ending up in a jail cell." After hearing that from Niall, Zayn couldn't help but to smile because he knew that Niall was still concern for him even after these seven months of being apart, not in a literal sense.
"I don't want you to misunderstand me," Niall stated. All these past few months, the love he felt for Zayn somehow was being masked away but concealed by his affection towards Aiden.
The smile on Zayn gradually disappeared. The Niall he knew before was all gone and was replaced by this empty, soulless shell of Niall that he didn't recognize anymore.
"So what are you gonna do now?" He asked, hoping that he could nudge Niall on making a decision of making them having their own happy ending.
"There's nothing to do," Niall answered.
"Wha-You can't be serious?" Zayn was left with a gobsmacked expression on his face. He couldn't believe that Niall was just going to let that scumbag get away for his crime. "You have to report him to the police."
"I can't do that," Niall felt his voice cracked until his eyes were filled again with tears. The horrible event from last night flashed before his very eyes-on how Aiden defiled him in and how he disgusted with himself after Niall used him like a rag doll.
"Why the hell not!" Zayn caught himself raising his voice. He could feel his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he could have a cardiac arrest at any moment.
"If I did that, the press will be all over it. I don't want to dirty you and the boys for something that happened to me," Niall felt the shame, looking at the ground because he couldn't look Zayn on the eye. He felt that no matter how many times he purifies himself, the filth on his soul will never disappear.
"I don't care about my reputation," Zayn reasoned out. He was still willing to put dirt on his name if that's the only way to restore the dignity that was stolen from Niall. "I'm sure the lads will understand if you pursue this. You have been violated, Niall."
Niall shook his head as the tears were flowing from his eyes, hydrating his skin. He quickly moved his hand, covering his face as he sobbed loudly. Not a moment later, he felt Zayn imprisoning him with his arms. For once, he felt the safety he'd missing ever since last night.
"Shhh..." Zayn cooed, caressing Niall on the back. "I will take care of this. Don't you worry a thing, Pumpkin."
*****
After two-week vacation, the lads were back in London. As of today, they start preparing for their next album and now they locked themselves up as they brainstorm song ideas for their fifth album. But after the third hour, the inspiration somehow was dripping off from them.
"So hypothetically, if you're interested in a friend who got out from a relationship recently. How soon can to let the friend know that someone was interested?" Zayn broke the silence between them. At the back of his mind, he knew what he was doing. He just wanted to ask for advice from his friends and band mates. He definitely wants their input on how was he going to approach Niall.
Liam and Louis, who were holding separate notebooks, gave Zayn an odd look then put their notebooks down filled with song drafts. As for Harry, he had this questioning look on his face.
"What brought this on?" Liam asked. "Who is this friend?"
"No one," Zayn squeaked, moving his gaze away from the knowing look coming from Liam.
"Well, I'd say six months or even a year," Liam answered after studying fidgeting Zayn from his seat.
"I agree," Louis nodded. "You don't want to be someone's rebound."
Zayn watched his band mates, taking every single advice from Liam and Louis. Although, they were making a real point, at the back of his mind, Zayn was so desperate to make Niall his forever.
"What about you, Harry?" Zayn asked. "Got any advice?"
"Two seconds," Harry replied.
"Wha-" Zayn felt his jaw dropping on the floor. Of course, why Zayn would be surprised to hear something like that from Harry.
Liam and Louis gave Harry a glare for an apparent reason, but they didn't know the reasoning behind Harry's answer.
"Don't give me that look," Harry sassed, cocking an eyebrow towards his two band mates. He turned to Zayn and said, "Don't be so wishy-washy, Zayn. If you are really interested in this friend of yours," Harry quoted the last three words. "Which by the way, we know who it is so let him know that you're interested and let him taste your horse dick."
"I'm not... uh..." Zayn felt the walls were closing in on him, trapping him in this inescapable space. Words failed him once again. He doesn't want to sound like a douche in front of his friends.
"It's Niall, isn't it?" Louis asked. Although, he was against for Zayn pursuing Niall. He decided not to voice out his opinions anymore but after what Niall went through, Louis couldn't help but to butt in on his best friend's life. For the past two weeks, they spent their days together, trying to cheer up the blonde. Most nights, he heard Niall screaming his lungs out from the nightmares taunting him. No one should go through that kind of darkness in their lives. Louis tried convincing Niall to talk to someone professional, but his best friend was so adamant that he doesn't need any help and just wanted to leave the past behind him.
"Louis, I know you don't like Niall and me but I promise you that my feelings for him are real so, please don't pick a fight on me. There's no way that I'm going to give him up. That's not possible. You can hate me all you want but I will not walk away from him and treat him like a thing, like what that jerk did to Niall," Zayn explained. He let his emotions and heart took control of himself as he said those words to Louis. He didn't even dare to blink, letting Louis know that he was dead serious pursuing Niall.
"Hey, I'm not saying anything," Louis replied, raising both of his hands in the air. "It's just Niall is so fragile right now. I tried telling him to talk to a professional but he didn't want to. Now, that he didn't press charges to that monster."
"I can't believe he's just going to let that guy get away for his crimes," Liam shook his head in disappointment. "I really thought that Aiden was a nice guy..."
"Well, he's not," Zayn spat. Bitterness was evident in his voice.
"I don't think pursuing Niall right now is good for him. He's broken, literally," Louis suggested, hoping that Zayn would understand his point.
"I'm not forcing him anything," Zayn stated. "I just want him to know that I'm here, that's all."
"Then let him know," Louis said. "But please don't sleep with him."
*****
As Zayn was leaving the building, he saw the rain pouring down hard outside. He cursed himself for not bringing umbrella to cover himself up but it's too late now. He quickly opened the door and ran fast as he can to the parking lot. The sensation of raindrops hitting on his skin felt like needles piercing through his skin. His styled hair was lost its incredible shape and now dripping wet. His clothes were soaking wet as well. He almost slipped from the concrete floor he was running on but he was so desperate to take cover. It didn't take long before he reached his car, he quickly grabbed the keys from his pocket, unlocking the car as fast as he can then get inside.
He pulled down the folded mirror from the ceiling of the vehicle to take a glance at himself. He cringed at the reflection of himself that could be compared as a soaked chick, dripping wet.
"Damn it!" Zayn cursed. He had this pride of making himself look good at all the time. Some people called it being vain but for him, he wanted to look presentable at all times. He shook his head harshly as the raindrops from his hair splashing around. Then, he grabbed the loose fabric of his shirt twisting it until the water absorbed from his clothes falling off towards the floor of the vehicle.
"This is such a mess," Zayn huffed. "I need to clean this tomorrow." And with that, he put the car keys on, turning on the ignition as the car roared to life.
(Author's Note: I'm not sure if Zayn could actually drive. For the sake of the story, let's pretend that he could drive.)
It took Zayn a good half hour before he arrived at his flat. But as soon as he stepped inside, his nose was starting to get itchy and within seconds he lets out a loud sneeze as his body retracted a few steps back. That's how strong his sneeze was. The blasting sound bouncing off of the four corners of his flat.
"Wow, that's a loud one," Zayn found himself giggling. "I really need to take a quick shower before I could get sick. Getting sick right now is not advisable to me." He could see their management giving him grief like the last time he got the flu that lasted for almost a week.
As the night progressed, Zayn felt his body weakening. His worry was becoming of reality. Zayn didn't take any chance so he took a couple of flu pills then head towards the bedroom and have a long sleep.
After a couple of hours, Zayn felt the urge to empty out his bladder but when he tried to get up, his body felt like he was carrying a ton. Zayn still pushed himself up but as soon as the blanket left his body, he caught himself shivering from the cold. He put his hand on his forehead to check if he was okay.
"I am so dead," Zayn groaned, realizing that he has the flu.
*****
"I'm heading there right now. Can you make sure that Harry actually left because you know sometimes he said he already left when, in fact, he was still curled up on the bed?" Niall spoke on the mouthpiece of his phone talking to Liam. His assistant duties were back in full swing. After the traumatic event that happened to him weeks ago left a big scar on his soul. If it weren't for Louis, Niall would consider ending his life. But now that he's back on being single again, it felt like the past seven months was just a blur to him.
"Good luck on waking up Zayn," Liam giggled. "I think you'll need a miracle."
"Shut up!" Niall laughed. "You three go ahead. I'll just drive Zayn to the TV station." He had to remind himself to be firm on waking up Zayn because they have a TV guesting this afternoon. Being late was not an option this time.
It didn't take long before he arrived at Zayn's flat. He greeted the guard in the building before pressing the elevator button. As soon as he reached the third floor, he stepped out from the elevator, walking towards Zayn's flat. He tried knocking on the door but there was no response so he fished out the key in his pocket, pushing it to the keyhole before turning the knob on. It was a good thing that he has a spare key of all the lad's key on their flats. It was for this purpose-for not answering their door.
"Zayn..." Niall called out weakly but he didn't get any response. The whole flat was so quiet as if it was abandoned for a long while. He stepped in as he noticed the same furniture that he saw months ago when he was staying there as Zayn insisted on him staying until his health stabilized. As of now, his heart was doing well despite the horrible event that he dared not to mention again.
He pushed the bedroom gently, peeking his head first, not wanting to startle Zayn if he was in fact still in bed. And Niall was right, he saw the big lump on top of the bed, assuming it was Zayn. He walked towards the bed, reaching out gently his arms and placing it on the big lump. Niall gently shook it.
"Zayn..." Niall whispered. "It's time to get up. You have a TV guesting today."
The big lump didn't respond so Niall shook it further. It had taken a little while before he heard a groan coming from it. He watched as the blanket was slowly being peeled away. He almost jumped from being scared to see Zayn with a messy hair.
Zayn had his eyes closed, not wanting to blind himself from the light peeking in through his windows. He shivered right away as he felt the air prickling as his skin. He grabbed instantly the blanket and cover himself up.
"You need to get up," Zayn heard the familiar Irish accent traveling through the air. As much as he wanted to smile, he couldn't. His body was so heavy that all he wanted to do was to hang out with his comfortable bed.
"I can't," Zayn groaned, his throat was parched. A drop of water could rejuvenate his mouth cavity.
"What's wrong?" Niall asked but he didn't wait any longer. He placed his hand over Zayn's forehead. He hissed as soon as his skin made contact towards Zayn's because it was burning hot then pulling his hand away immediately. "Zayn, you're hot."
Zayn with his eyes still closed chuckled and replied, "I know that already. Tell me something I don't know."
Niall caught himself grinning from the dry humor from Zayn. "What I meant is, you're burning hot. You need medical help."
"That's not what I need," Zayn replied, slowly opening his eyes. He was starting to feel giddy when he saw the concern coming off from the blue eyes staring directly at him. "You know what I need?"
"What?"
"I need kisspirin," Zayn chuckled.
"What is a kisspirin?" Niall asked as the confusion spread within him. He was starting to get worried because Zayn doesn't talk weird.
"Kisspirin is an aspirin made up of your Irish kisses," Zayn grinned. Niall scoffed right away, hitting Zayn on the forehead playfully.
"You are indeed sick," Niall chuckled, shaking his head with humor. "Leave the lame jokes to Harry." He continued. "Besides, I'm not gonna fall for that trick anymore." He recalled the memory of their first kiss together that happened months ago.
"Come on, just one kiss," Zayn begged, batting his long eyelashes. "You wouldn't dare deny a dying man of a kiss, would you?"
"You're not dying, okay?" Niall scoffed, rolling his eyes out. "You're just exaggerating."
"I'm serious, Pumpkin," Zayn whined, intentionally making his voice groaned as if life was slipping away from. "I need some spooning."
Niall raised an eyebrow towards Zayn on the bed. He knew that Zayn was just messing his head like he usually does.
"You know what I'm going to call your girlfriend to deal with you," Niall said with a straight face, fishing out his phone from his pocket.
Instantly, Zayn got up from the bed as if someone splashed an icy water on him. "I think I feel fine now. No need to call that witch!"
Niall cackled, clutching his stomach to restrain himself from abrupt shaking off his body. "I'm just kidding," Niall replied, pushing Zayn gently back to the bed. "I don't want you collapsing on me. You know that I can't lift you up."
"You big meanie!" Zayn teased, sticking his tongue out. "But seriously, I need some cuddling time with you, Pumpkin." He reached out for Niall, pulling him towards the bed. Zayn felt elated that Niall didn't flinch from his touch. He was starting to feel better because the seven months they lost was somehow returning to them. They stayed lying down on the bed for the next five minutes. No one dared to speak, not wanting to break the comfortable silence traveling through the air. Zayn found himself caressing Niall on the arms. But Niall was starting to get uncomfortable with the set up so he pushed himself away from the sick lad. Not that he wanted to get sick as well but he has a pressing reason why he wanted to stay away from Zayn. It was a deeper personal reason that he cannot tell Zayn, at least not right now.
"I'm gonna call Liam, telling them that you won't be able to go to this TV guesting. You're in no shape to talk to any living being," Niall cleared his throat, not meeting the gaze from Zayn. It was better that way; he doesn't want the feelings he had for Zayn to resurface again. He was able to control it for the past seven months. And now he was single again, he feared that the lid restraining his emotions was open again. And the feelings that he tried to conceal was going to stink away, revealing the hidden emotions that he doesn't want to come out. Before he could change his mind, he turned away and started walking away from the bedroom.
Zayn nodded, enduring the emotional pain beating inside of him. The moment Niall pulled away from him felt like a knife was stabbing on him, ripping his insides, exposing his flesh to the world. Even after these seven months, his love for the blonde intensified. Even when he was sleeping with countless women to fill the empty void within him, Zayn was picturing Niall on top of him, satisfying his carnal needs.
Zayn hoped that now Aiden was out of the picture, that he would be given a chance to prove to Niall that he was the right one for him. He does see a future for them-he saw a big house in the country with domesticated animals running around on their lawn, three children playing around in the hammock, and as the two of them spending their time together as they grow old. Zayn caught himself smiling...
The future wait for us, Niall...
*****
Isn't Zayn or what? What do you guys think about this chapter? I do feel like it's turning into one of those boring books. I have so many ideas in my head, but I don't know how to write them in a logical sense.
Anyways, is there anything you want to see in this book more? I'd like to hear your thoughts. Who knows, I might include it if I like it.