This chapter is dedicated to @DahliaSalcedo thank you for all the votes you've le
Jason
The third time my body hit the mat with a loud thud, I couldn't take it anymore.
Growling, I got up to my feet and faced a smirking Cass. Her expression irked me further, while Tim and Asteria stood behind her, also sporting looks of amusement. Beyond them, I could see Razel's familiar brown hair in my peripheral vision. But I knew looking at her would distract me further.
"You're supposed to be training me," I complained in frustration to Cass, who crossed her arms over her chest and raised a challenging eyebrow. "Not beating the crap out of me the day before I have to face your mother."
"This is training," Cass replied, uncrossing her arms and shrugging. "You need to learn to deal with the pain, because you'll probably get a lot more from my mom."
I scowled at her words, but deep inside, my heart felt heavy. Somehow, I already knew things weren't going to go my way at tomorrow's mission. "How encouraging," I commented with heavy sarcasm.
Asteria finally stepped forward, probably taking pity on me. "Alright, Jason. You have to remember, Shiva is one of the best martial artists in the world. And she's very patient. If you're too rash, she's just going to hand your ass to you."
"Her daughter already seems to be doing a good job of it," I muttered angrily under my breath. My hand automatically went to rub my back, which still hurt after the last time Cass threw me.
"Imagine what'll happen if you actually face her," Tim chimed in with a grim expression.
As usual, my impatience and annoyance won out. "Screw this. I don't need to save that asshole anyway," I spat before walking off the mat and storming out of the training room. Once the doors slammed shut behind me and echoed in the hall loudly, only then did I realize that what I said could've hurt Razel very badly.
Why does it matter? You never cared about hurting anyone before Jason, I told myself.
And yet, even as I tried to convince myself to walk away from a task that could quite possibly get me killed, my feet slowed down and eventually stopped. It was as if knowing Razel was on the opposite end of the hall kept me tied to the place. Because if it weren't for her, I would've grabbed my helmet and gotten on my motorbike- long gone before anyone finally had the guts to come after me. That's what the Red Hood would've done. Hell, that's what Jason would've done. After meeting death once, I wasn't keen on doing it again. Screw Peter Pan. Death is not a fun adventure.
I sighed, once again feeling like I should keep moving forward yet being unable to. It felt a lot like the time when I had to decide whether or not to tell Razel about my nightmare. When my fight or flight instinct came out to play, flight had always been the easier option. But ever since I met Razel, I felt more like fighting.
God damn it, Jason! You sound like a lovesick fool! I gritted my teeth and ran my hands through my damp hair in frustration. I tried to focus on quieting my riot of thoughts, and that's when the sound of soft footfalls met my ears. I turned around just as Razel came walking down the hall, looking uncertain with her bottom lip underneath her teeth.
She stopped short when she saw me standing there and already looking at her. I saw her slender neck move a she swallowed hard before my eyes met her brown ones. "What?" I snapped when she didn't say anything, making her flinch in surprise. Of course, I felt awful afterwards and released a loud breath to calm myself. "I'm sorry," I said tightly. "Why are you here, Razel? Can't you tell I want to be alone? Or was me walking out of the room not enough of a clue?" Still being a douche, but at least I wasn't shouting at her.
"I know you want to be alone right now," she whispered, looking down at her fidgeting hands. Her brown hair fell like a curtain and hid her face from me. "But I just wanted you to know that whatever you choose to do, whatever happens tomorrow, I won't blame you for it."
The silence that followed after she said those words was deafening. Why did she have to make it more difficult for me than it already was? Didn't she know that saying that would only make me choose to save Jared, even though I didn't want to? Razel still didn't look up at me, and I sighed loudly before unclenching my tightly balled fists.
"Come on," I told her, making her look up before I turned on my heel and continued away from the training room.
I heard her footsteps rushing after me before she stood to walk by my side. "Where are we going?" she asked curiously, peeking up at me.
I shrugged and actually found myself smiling. "To Burger King. If I'm dying for a second time tomorrow, I might as well have my favorite last meal before it happens."
Razel
I stopped short once Jason's words registered in my brain.
The thought that Jason might die tomorrow never crossed my mind when I asked him to help me save Jared. Because Jason was Jason. He seemed so invincible and strong. Taking note of my immobile form, Jason also stopped walking and turned to look at me with a frown. "What's wrong now?"
I opened my mouth to reply, wanting to beg him to just stay here and not go tomorrow, but I couldn't. If I did that, wouldn't I be sentencing Jared to death instead? So, what? You'll sacrifice Jason to save him? I groaned and my knees suddenly felt too weak to hold me up. I lowered myself to the floor, wanting to curl up in a ball 'til everything was over and done with. I was used to life and death situations, but this was completely different from the life and death situations I had to deal with as a doctor.
"Hey," Jason's voice reached my ears, sounding gentler and more worried than it was before. "Hey, Razel. Look at me."
I looked up from my crouched position on the floor to see Jason's brilliant green eyes flashing with concern as he knelt beside me. His warm hands came up to cup my face, and I closed my eyes at the feel of his skin against mine. "What's wrong?" he whispered.
"I don't want you to die," I admitted in a quivering voice, still not opening my eyes. I was afraid to look at his beautiful face and feel the fear that it might be the last time I actually saw him. "Don't go tomorrow. Please."
The words just poured out of me, before the thought of Jared once again flashed in my mind. I groaned out loud, utterly torn and confused by everything. "Razel, look at me," Jason ordered, but I shook my head. Great. I've actually lost my mind. I'm refusing to follow orders from Jason. "Damn it, Razel. Open those beautiful, brown eyes of yours and look at me."
Biting my lip, I shook my head once again. Beautiful. He called your eyes beautiful. But it's not going to work on persuading me to look at him. "Please," he begged, surprising me so much that I did open my eyes. Jason rarely pleaded for anything.
His face was inches away from mine, and his breath fanned my face, stirring my hair a little. Those brilliant green eyes of his bored into my brown ones, and I stopped breathing as I lost myself in them. "I don't want to die, either," he admitted, his brows furrowing. I wanted to reach out and smooth the crease between his forehead, but I was frozen in place. I was like a deer caught in the headlights whenever it came to Jason. "But I can't stay here and let Jared die, no matter how much I dislike him. Because we both know you may not blame me for it, but it's going to tear you up inside. And I don't want that to happen. I know what it's like to live with the guilt, Razel."
"Please don't die," I finally whispered. I couldn't argue with the rest of what he said. And if he wanted to go, how was I going to be able to stop him? I finally moved and wrapped my arms around him- something I seemed to be frequently doing the past few days I'd been spending with him.
"You know I'm a lot more stubborn than that," Jason replied, sounding like he was smiling. "Besides, I have a reason to make sure I keep on living. That's something I didn't have before."
His words surprised me almost as much as his arms coming around to engulf me in a hug did. No reason for living? "What's the reason?" I asked after a moment of silence, my curiosity once again getting the better of me.
Jason chuckled, and the sound sent warmth through me. Knowing he was happy made my heart feel relieved, especially after seeing him so serious just a few moments ago. "I'll tell you after we go to Burger King."
I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud, too. The relief was spreading through my body, and I felt like everything was normal again. Well, as normal as it can get when you're living with a bunch of teenage superheroes. "Right. Burger King."
"I need to change out of these training clothes first, though." We stood up from the floor, and I felt a little silly from my breakdown, but Jason was grinning boyishly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards his room. I watched the way his muscles moved, visible due to his sleeveless muscle shirt and thought, you look just fine in your training clothes.
Like always, my emotions kept switching back and forth when it came to dealing with Jason. One minute, it felt as though the weight of the world was upon our shoulders, and the next, I felt like a young, carefree teenager. It was a rollercoaster ride.
Jason
After throwing on a fresh and clean shirt, Razel and I were on our way to Burger King.
As I drove, I watched her fiddling with the radio of the car. I laughed again when she stopped at an old radio station playing For Once in My Life by Stevie Wonder. "What?" she asked, chuckling herself as the lyrics of the song filled the car.
I simply shook my head, not bothering to reply. How could I explain to her that I felt like I could relate to the song perfectly well? "I didn't know you liked old- school music."
She scoffed at my statement. "Old- school music is the only music there is. I don't particularly like the music nowadays."
"I couldn't agree with you more," I replied with a glance at her. I couldn't seem to keep my eyes on the road.
She snorted at my statement before tearing her eyes away from mine and looking out her window as we passed by the bright lights of Star City. "Jason Todd agreeing with me? I never thought I'd see the day."
I shrugged even though I knew she wasn't looking at me. "There's always a first time for everything."
"I hope it's not the only time," she added, finally looking back at me. I could feel her gaze on me like a light blanket.
"If you think I'm going to agree to everything you say from now on, you're wrong," I told her. Please. She's got you wrapped around her fingers.
Razel's laugh met my ears as Whenever I Call You a Friend by Kenny Loggins came on the radio. "Good. Because that's one of the things I love about you."
Silence filled the car after she spoke. Did I imagine her saying that? I glanced at her again to see her quietly looking out her window. But as we passed by a street lamp, the lights made the furious blush on her cheeks visible. We stayed quiet until we reached Burger King. By then, I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to hear her voice and laughter, especially if this was the last night I got to spend with her.
The truth was, I didn't know if I'd be coming back after tomorrow's mission. So I was making the best of the time I had left. Especially the time left I had with Razel. Smiling, I killed the engine and turned to her. "Here we are," I announced. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
She finally looked at me, and there was a small smile on her face. "You're always hungry," she teased, before pushing her door open and getting out of the car.
I was so surprised, I was frozen for a few minutes in my seat before following after her. "I'm not always hungry!" I argued as I ran after her into Burger King.
"Oh please," she said as she pushed the doors open. "You have a never ending appetite."
Smirking mischievously, I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Trust me, sunshine. When it comes to you, I always feel like a starving beggar."
She blushed once again at my words, making me laugh as I pulled away from her. Glaring at me, she hit me on the shoulder and marched towards the counter. I was right behind her and interrupted her before she could say anything to the cashier.
I ordered the same thing I did last time. "She'll have the same thing," I added, pointing to Razel, whose brown eyes widened further after she heard me say that. The guy taking our orders nodded and punched it into the machine.
I paid for the order before turning to Razel, who was still staring at me with wide eyes. "I can't finish all that," she finally hissed at me.
I winked at her before replying. "Of course you can," I reassured her. "And if you have any trouble, I'd be happy to help you finish it."
"Of course you would," she grumbled before moving off to the side to wait for our orders. "You have a bottomless stomach."
"Technically, all us Waynes have a big appetite," I replied with a smirk, wiggling my eyebrows at her.
Razel huffed, but her cheeks colored once again. My smirk turned into a real smile, because I loved seeing her blush. She was so beautiful, and she didn't even know it.
Razel
For some reason, Jason seemed to be in a very good mood.
So much so that he kept making jokes and throwing around sexual innuendos. "I have no idea if we're even talking about the same thing anymore," I admitted in a mumble, well aware I was blushing.
Jason laughed out loud. "My, my Dr. Anders. I didn't know you had such a dirty mind."
"Excuse me-" I began, completely appalled. I had a dirty mind? Has this boy looked in the mirror?
I was interrupted when our order was called and Jason moved to take the tray and find us a table. We sat near the windows, watching the people roaming the streets at night. Jason placed my food in front of me, and I felt full just by looking at it. "Don't just stare at it," he told me. "The food isn't going to eat itself."
"No duh, Sherlock," I mumbled before finally unwrapping my burger.
We ate in silence for a few bites, until I glanced up to see Jason happily enjoying his food. I finally asked him the question that had been on my mind ever since we left Queen Manor. "You seem to be in a good mood." Okay, so it was more of a statement.
Jason shrugged and swallowed his burger. "Of course I am. I'm with you."
"No, really," I persisted, even though my heart fluttered like a pair of bird's wings taking flight, when my brain was able to process his words.
"What? A guy can't enjoy his burger with a beautiful girl?" he asked, before taking another bite of his Whooper, as if trying to prove a point.
I rolled my eyes, convinced he was once again joking. "Fine. Don't tell me."
Jason lowered his burger before looking at me seriously with those unwavering green eyes of his. "You're so quick to believe so many other things I tell you, but never a compliment I give you. Why is that?"
Because I don't deserve it. Because you're you. Amazing, reckless, completely beautiful. And me? Normal. But I couldn't tell him those things, so I shrugged instead. "I don't know."
"You're a weird girl, Razel Anders," he said with a smirk before going back to eating his burger.
"Oh, I'm weird?" I asked, before ripping off a piece of my bread and throwing it at him.
He watched the piece of bread sail over our table and bounce off his shirt before looking up at me with hooded green eyes. "You're going to pay for that," he said cryptically, making me swallow hard. "After I finish my burger," he added, making me laugh out loud as the nervousness vanished.
Oh Jason. What am I going to do with you?
-----------------------------------------------------------
We returned from Burger King to find the whole team in the living room.
Some of the kids had fallen asleep on the floor, while most of the grown- ups were cuddled on the couch. I grabbed Jason's hand and pulled him to sit beside Asteria and Dick. They smiled up at us when they saw us. "I thought Jason kidnapped you and took you somewhere far away to make sure you were safe for tomorrow," Asteria commented.
Jason scoffed beside me, cutting off my reply. "She'd probably castrate me before I could do that. She is a doctor after all."
I simply grinned at his statement and shrugged, before leaning back into the couch and looking at the movie. It seemed to be set during the late 17th or 18th century. "What are we watching?" I whispered so as not to disturb the others who were watching.
"Anna Karenina," Dick replied quietly back, making Jason groan beside me and throw his hands up in exasperation.
"Aren't there any good movies in this place? Jesus Christ. First the Tom Cruise one, then that sappy romantic comedy. Now this?" he complained.
I rolled my eyes, but smiled. Clasping one of his hands, I hushed him. "Quiet. I can't hear what Anna is saying."
Jason seemed to do as I said, and I looked up to see him staring at his hand, which was caged within my own and sitting on my lap. When he saw me looking, he simply averted his eyes towards the television and focused on the movie instead.
Jason
The movie wasn't so bad.
Okay, well. There was too much drama and mention of love for my liking. But sitting beside Razel and feeling her hands holding mine, I didn't mind so much. After the movie ended, I walked Razel back to her room. "Are you going to bed?" she asked, as she opened her door.
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep."
"Would you like to come in for a while? I don't know if I'll be able to sleep either." She was looking down at the floor as she asked me in meek voice, making me smile. She seemed so nervous to ask me.
I bit my lip in contemplation, not knowing if it was a good idea. But remembering what we were doing tomorrow, I finally relented. Who knew if this was the last night I could have with her? Even if we didn't do anything but talk, I wanted to spend every last minute with her. "Okay," I agreed, making her snap her head up. She smiled before opening the door wider and striding inside.
I plopped down onto the bed, remembering the morning's events of waking up cuddled beside her. It seemed like a million years ago, especially after everything that happened today. She disappeared towards the en suite bathroom, and I was surprised when she came out dressed for bed. She always fell asleep in the clothes she wore during the day that the sight of her in cotton shorts and an oversized shirt surprised me.
She didn't seem to notice me watching her as she crawled onto the bed and laid down beside me, like we'd shared a bed so many times before. "Jason," she began quietly, breaking the silence.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"Are you scared for tomorrow?" she asked, and I thought about her question. Was I scared?
I sighed and turned my head towards her, meeting her brown eyes as she watched me as well. "I'm not afraid to die, even though I'm hoping I don't. But I'm afraid you might get hurt and I won't be able to protect you. I'm also scared that Jared might get hurt, even though I honestly don't like him very much. I'm afraid that if he does get hurt, it will also hurt you, because you love him."
Razel bit her lip, making my heart pound in my chest as I imagined what it would feel like to feel those lips on mine. Don't go there, Todd, my inner voice said, finally sounding rational for once. "I'm scared, too. I'm scared you'll get hurt and it's going to be my fault. I'm scared I'm going to lose you, and I don't know if I could live with that."
"Why not?" I whispered as I turned to lay down sideways and wait for her answer.
Razel smiled at me. "Not so fast. You owe me an answer, too."
I frowned in confusion. "What answer?"
"You said you'd tell me your reason for wanting to stay alive after Burger King," she explained, reminding me of our conversation in the hallway. A part of me didn't want to admit it, but what the hell. This could be your last chance to tell her, Jason. Drawing in a deep breath, I said the words I was too afraid to admit.
"The reason I want to stay alive is because of you," I told her.
I imagined a million reactions when I told her that- shock, disbelief, even rejection. What I didn't expect was to see her smiling at me with warm brown eyes and saying the words, "Good. Because the reason I'm afraid to lose you is because I don't love Jared, you dolt. I'm falling in love with you."
And just like that, the distance between us was gone and her lips finally met mine.
�S����