.Chapter 30 [Colton's POV] - Today Is Officially The National Lying Day.
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Songs: Never Say Never (Don't Let Me Go) - The Fray | Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding
A few hours ago, I was writing down this chapter and instead of saving it as a draft, I accidentally published it. Oops! So this is the COMPLETE chapter 30, and not the measly 4 lines I had written. Sorry for the confusion!
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*trigger warning*
A week has gone by since everything.
A whole week since I asked Ella to be my girlfriend; a week after the Ethan and Macy drama, and a week since I started having disturbing nights.
Given the newfound reason I have to be happy, I had expected that I'd get more sleep: more peaceful sleep. But instead, my head keeps throbbing throughout the day.
I've become snappy and irritable than usual because of lack of sleep, and my mind constantly drifts towards the bottle of sleeping pills lying in the drawer beside my bed. The pills have tempted me more than what I'd like to admit, I just wish the doctor would've prescribed something more strong.
A small hiss of irritation escapes from my lips and I jump out of bed, the pounding in my head as also the thoughts in my brain not making me feel any better. Pushing the duvet off of me, my breath coming out irregular, I rest my head in my hands, my elbows placed on my thighs as I try to breath in more, trying to calm my racing heart.
My chest heaves as a sharp pain shoots in my head, making me clutch my head tighter. Ducking my head down further, a dry sob escapes my lips as I run my fingers through my hair once, ready to pull them out. Tears start their way slowly down my cheeks, feeling as though they're burning my face.
I wish the pain just stopped...
Negative thoughts race my mind as I stay frozen on the bed, trying to let sleep come to me, but that doesn't happen. The only thing that comes to me is the pain.
I try to breath in and out slowly, but my arms keep shaking, making me hold on to the duvet tightly, my eyes close shut.
As my breaths become more levelled, it dawns upon me how much I'm sweating. My t-shirt is stuck to my body and my forehead is lined with sweat, some of my hair plastered to my forehead with it.
Bringing a shaky hand to my torso, I take off my t-shirt, tossing it on the bed carelessly, my body lunging forward towards the bedside table. I pull the drawer out, switching on the bedside lamp, my hands fumbling to open the bottle containing my pills.
I think I've had enough of restless nights...
"Colton!"
My heart hammers in my chest violently the moment I hear a familiar voice, the small bottle dropping from my hands back into the drawer.
With a swift moment, I'm on my feet which is clearly a wrong move because I feel the world spin around me, making me dizzy. I stumble forward a little, clutching the table beside me for support, but Ella's faster than me.
Taking two big steps towards me, she catches me by my shoulders, steadying me, but it takes so much self-control to not slap her hands away because the feeling of someone else's skin against mine is really irritating. So I simply shrug her off, sauntering towards the bed.
I'm not ready to see Ella.
"What are you doing here?" My voice is so raspy and dry that I, myself, cringe when I hear how I sound. Clearing my throat while checking my phone for the time, I croak, "Isn't it, like 2 am... wait, it's just 10:30 right now?"
She nods, looking at me warily as if I'll faint any second, and says, "I called you several times but you didn't pick up. So I called Ethan and he said that you had gone to bed at 8, which I found weird. Cam offered to come with me. He's waiting downstairs."
"I was tired."
I was trying to find ways to have one peaceful night of sleep.
"Colton," Ella begins, worry etched on her face, "are you okay?"
No.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask her, cocking an eyebrow, trying to sound as indifferent as I can, but I can tell that I'm failing miserably.
"You-you were taking more pills than you should've." Ella kisses my cheek, caressing it afterwards. "I'm worried for you."
"I am not," I lie again. "Those are given in my prescription. I was just following the doctor's orders. You don't need to worry about me."
"I think I do need to," she says, removing her hand off my cheek, and I feel a little cold without her touch that I now crave. "I care about you."
"I don't need that shit," I snap at her instantly, regretting it the moment I say it. Hurt flashes in her eyes and she looks down at her hands, getting up suddenly.
A pit forms in my stomach when she does; I don't want her to leave... fuck, I don't want to push her away, but I can't help my behaviour right now. I'm in a vulnerable state of mind, and I can't comprehend half of the things happening around me; it's difficult to explain all of this to her. But I neither have the patience to fight with her nor to watch her leave.
"I'm going to the kitchen to drink water. Do you want water?"
My head snaps up to meet her gaze in surprise, and I feel myself going giddy with happiness. How on earth did I get such an understanding girlfriend?
I thought she was leaving.
"I-I'd like that," I whisper to her, watching her disappear.
After what seems like ages, I sense her presence in front of me, and I almost grab the glass of water from her hands thirstily, downing all of it in a flash.
The pain in my head automatically reduces.
"You've been crying," Ella states softly, but it doesn't affect me.
"No."
Today is officially the National Lying Day.
"Colton, you can talk to me," she presses with a plead, and I know in the bottom of my heart that I can. But somewhere in my mind, I'm still afraid that if she comes to know how fucked up things with me can get, she'll leave me.
So I need to keep up with the strong façade.
"There's nothing to talk about." I keep shutting her out and maybe that's what will drive her away...
"Fine," she whispers and I swear I hear her voice crack. Looking up at her, I melt a little, seeing her eyes water instantly, making me sigh.
"Listen, Ella-" I begin, but she cuts me off.
"No, Colton. You listen. I don't want to push you to tell me anything. You can tell me whenever you're ready. Just don't push me away like you did for the last two days."
She got me.
For the last two days, I'd been ignoring all of her calls, not responding to any of her messages, only replying to one of them when I felt like it.
"Come here," I instruct her, lying back on the bed and motioning her to sit beside me.
She obliges. Curling around her, I take her hand, give it a small kiss and say, "I promise, Ella. I won't hurt you, and you don't need to be on your toes while talking to me everytime. I know I give you shit many times, but don't you dare let my intimidating side get to you, understand? You know I'm an asshole sometimes, right?"
Ella smiles a watery smile, and seeing her sad because of me is like a punch in the stomach.
"Yes. But only sometimes."
I smile back. "You can be double the asshole at those times, then. I give you full permission to do that."
"Gee thanks," she lets out a small laugh, trying to poke my stomach, but before she can even touch me, I manage to catch hold of her hand, earning a gasp from her.
She opens her mouth to say something that I bet is sassy, but I cut her off.
"Ella Collins, if you're free tomorrow, would you like to go out on a date with me?"
That was fast.
"Colton!" Ella gasps again, a grin on her face. "You're so spontaneous!"
"And is that a bad thing?"
Judging by her blush, it's not.
"No! I just... It comes as a big surprise for me, and I'm not good with surprises. I usually end up crying out of happiness," she says, looking a little embarrassed.
"I don't see you crying yet," I reason, feigning an offended look. "Does that mean you're not surprised enough?"
"Maybe..." she drawls.
You sly creature...
"Perhaps this will help."
I quickly sit up and crash my lips onto hers. She doesn't respond at first, which means I definitely caught her off-gaurd.
"You're such a dork," Ella breaths out, pulling away from me, her cheeks red and her chest heaving slightly, her hands on my chest.
"But I'm your dork." I wink at her, pecking her lips once again.
And she looks surprised this time.
"Now is the time you start bawling," I tease her, trying to rile her up, but she just giggles.
"My, being too affectionate, aren't we?"
"My affection for you will increase manifold if you go out on a date with me," I interrupt cheekily, but Ella's face falls.
"Colton, I-I would love to go out with you, but..."
I sigh, sensing her long pause.
There's always a but.
****
Mwahahaha cliffhanger! XD
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