Everything Is Ephemeral - phan

By phanci

210K 13.2K 7.7K

Dan Howell secretly loves Phil Lester. Phil Lester secretly loves Dan Howell. Dan Howell is bullied. Phil Les... More

introduction
1/6
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conclusion

4/6

23.9K 1.7K 674
By phanci

Phil knows Dan is getting close to the edge.

Phil knows Dan is cracking more and more each day, he knows Dan is upset, he knows Dan is miserable, he knows Dan hates himself.

He can see the life slowly slipping out of his sad, guarded, chocolate brown eyes. He desperately wants to help, but his own cowardly nature holds him back. He fears being judged, being friendless, being picked on, being hated.

Lucas is currently shoving Dan against the wall, while Phil stands beside him, like a statue, cold and unmoving. The fight has gone out of Dan - it left him long ago. Phil suspects that he partially enjoys the pain.

His eyes find Phil's own, they look lifeless, but emotion flashes through them as they lock with Phil's emotionless gaze. Phil finally has to turn his head away, breaking his stare, guilt curling in his stomach and he feels his heart tear in two.

Phil hates how much he loves Dan, and he hates how he is too scared to admit it. Dan deserves to be happy more than anyone else Phil knows. He just hopes Dan will just hold on, until school is over.

But what Phil doesn't know is that Dan has already fallen off the edge - right into free fall.

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