A/N Make sure to please read notes that i put at the end of the chapter. It's important!
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I looked down awkwardly at my cup of coffee and tried to find the right words to say to Spencer. “So, you’re coffee tastes surprisingly good. What brand is it?”
He looked up at me and stared at me like I had ten heads. “What?”
“I don’t know what to say.” I admitted sheepishly.
“How are you feeling?’
“My head and body hurts, there’s a bruise for some god known reason on my arm thanks to those fucking needles, and I just want a bath.” I said flatly.
Spencer looked back at his bathroom and shrugged. “There’s a bathroom.”
“I would need clothes.”
“Clearly there are some that you could borrow.” Spencer said.
“Then can I have a towel?”
“As you wish, your majesty.” He said before standing up and getting me a towel. I looked down and noticed it was already seven o’clock. I sighed before getting up and stepping into his huge bathroom.
Spencer started the water and disappeared to a different room. While the tub filled up Spencer came back with a bath bomb. “My mom used to use them whenever she was stressed or something, thought this could help.” He said before dropping it into the warm water and bubbles formed everywhere.
“Thanks.” I said weakly. I watched as he went for the door and stepped outside. “Don’t leave me alone.” I said softly.
“What?” Spencer asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“I-I don’t want to be by myself.”
He rubbed the nape of his neck and shrugged. “Where do you want me to sit?”
“Anywhere, just please don’t leave me alone.” I begged. He nodded his head and turned away as I stripped out of my clothes and lowered myself into the tub. I put my hair in a bun and made sure my body was covered by the bubbles before telling him it was okay to turn around.
“So, what do you remember from last night?” Spencer asked, lowering himself down onto the closed toilet.
“I just remember fighting with you and then running off somewhere.”
“I’m sorry for saying you were fucked up. It was wrong and I shouldn’t have said it.”
I looked over surprised at him. I felt my muscles relax as well as myself. “Wow, Spencer Adams is actually capable of apologizing. Really, I feel honored to be the person you apologized to.” I said, placing a soapy hand over my heart.
He rolled his eyes and lazily smirked at me. “There’s just no pleasing you.”
I smiled and blew some bubbles at him. “Learn how to have some fun.” I said simply. “I appreciate your apology. I’m sorry I slapped you.”
He shrugged. “I had it coming; I shouldn’t have said what I did. And I shouldn’t have tried making you mad by using Hayley.”
I tensed at the mention of my best friend and sighed. “Did she…” I trailed off when I saw Spencer shake his head. “Oh,” I said flatly.
“I would’ve been the person to notice if she had come to visit and she didn’t. I’m sorry, I’ll fix it.”
I looked at him and bit on my lip. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Jason kind of told me to get my head out of my ass. You’re not like the girls I typically go after so I shouldn’t be treating you like one.”
I faked a gasp. “The bad boy has a heart.”
“Yeah well there’s a reason I don’t show it too often.” He said softly, almost to himself.
“Why is that?” I asked in the same soft voice.
“We’re not talking about this.” He said firmly, handing me a towel.
I looked at it and shook my head. He sighed and stood up, walking out of the bathroom. I bit my lip and looked after him. I quickly rinsed off and wrapped the towel around my body before making my way into his bedroom. I noticed it was empty but he had tossed some clothes for me on his bed. I sighed and quickly changed into his sweatpants and t-shirt before looking around for him.
I made my way downstairs and saw he was outside in the backyard. I slowly walked up to him and crossed my arms over my chest once I got next to him. “You can tell me, you know that right?”
“No, when I do you’re going to treat me differently, or you’re going to do some stupid shit. I don’t want to tell anyone, not even your brother for a reason.”
“I won’t tell.” I said firmly. He scoffed and shook his head before turning to go back inside. “Spence,” I pleaded. “You can trust me.”
“How?”
“What?” I asked, furrowing my brow.
“How do I know I can trust you?”
“I haven’t tried to screw you over.”
I saw him clench his jaw and rip his arm out of my grasp. “Just get inside.” He said harshly.
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong!” Without uttering a word to me he stormed inside. I quickly followed after him and grabbed onto his elbow. “Just tell-“
“Damn it Kelsey, enough is enough!” He said, pushing me up against a wall and slamming his fist on it.
My eyes widened and he dropped his head once he saw the look of fear on my face. “I didn’t mean to.” He said softly, pushing off against the wall and once again walking away from me for about the fourth time.
“I won’t treat you differently and I won’t tell anyone. I’ll respect what you want and I’ll do as you say, just please let me in. If you can’t talk to Jason then talk to me.” I begged.
He looked at me with a torn expression and shook his head. “It’s long.”
“I have time.”
He sighed and grabbed a beer before making his way upstairs. I tried walking as fast as I could behind him in his huge sweatpants but I can only walk so fast.
When we reached his room he opened the beer, took a sip, and flopped down on his bed. “What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you’re holding in.” I said, settling myself down next to him on his bed.
“You’re parents are going to wonder where you are.” He said flatly.
“I’ll send them a text saying I’m with you.”
“Why don’t you hate me anymore?”
“Why are you avoiding the question?”
“Because to talk about my parents I have to be very drunk.”
I furrowed my brow and looked at him. “What do your parents have to do with it?”
Spencer sighed and took a giant gulp of his beer. “Kelsey, my parents abandoned me.”
~~~
I looked down at Spencer who fell asleep on my lap. I sighed and softly ran my fingers through his hair, looking down at our intertwined fingers. I lightly trailed my finger across his chest and he furrowed closer to me, letting go my hand and wrapping it around my waist, his light snoring filling the air.
"God, what am I going to do with you Spence?"
To say I was worried about him was an understatement. I was freaking out. Actually no, scratch that, I wanted to shake him and ask him what the hell was wrong with him for thinking that his situation was acceptable.
"What do you mean your parents abandoned you?"
"I mean just that, really it's not that complicated."
"But, Spencer you can't just be living on your own."
He shrugged and leaned back, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'm a legal adult, I actually can."
"Can you quit brushing this off? Damn it you were so pissed before and now you're shrugging it off like your parents just said they were going on vacation? They left you for over a year."
"Shut up Kelsey."
"Make me," I challenged, feeling my temper get the best of me. "You don't care? Then let me talk about it."
"Don't try and piss me off." He hissed through his teeth.
"Why is that Spence? Hm?"
"Kelsey I'm warning you. We were having a good time, don't fuck it up now."
"Do you know where your parents are? Do you know what they're doing? Do-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Spencer shouted, throwing his empty mug at the wall, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces. "I'm not sixteen-years-old anymore. I'm not the same little kid who would love to get into trouble. I'm nineteen, I drink a lot and I sleep around so much I think I've seen more vaginas than a fucking gynecologist, what the fuck does that matter to you? Why the fuck do you care?" He practically snarled at me.
"Because I care about you, you dumbass!" I shouted exasperatedly. "Jason was right, I care about you! More than I fucking should but I do and I can't turn it off Spencer! As hard as I try I'm still attracted to you, I'm still worried about you, and I still want to help your sorry ass!" I shouted before throwing my own empty cup at the wall.
"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted incredulously.
"Acting like my head is so far up my ass that I don't even notice what's going on around me, just like you!" I screamed. "Jesus Christ, do you not understand that I just got released from the fucking hospital and I'm here with you because I care about you like Jason? For fuck's sake I care about you more than Jason! But you can't seem to get it through your thick head!"
"Don't go around yelling at me when I didn't do anything!"
"That's the problem! Spencer you haven't done anything! Would you quit thinking with your ass and let go of your pride for five seconds?"
"Why? Why should I do that?"
"Because you’re so broken that you’re lashing out on people, and throwing everything away through sex and drinking!" I shouted.
"What if I don't want to deal with my reality?"
"You said it yourself, you're a legal adult. It's about damn time you started acting like one."
He bit his lip while he looked at me, shaking his head. "You don't know what it's like."
"Then tell me what it's like!" I pleaded.
"I hate it." He said softly.
I sighed and scooted closer to him, my legs tangled with his as I faced him. I took hold of his hands and squeezed them lightly. "Keep going."
He shook his head a few times and took a couple of deep breaths. "I can't Kels, I can't." He said hoarsely.
"Yes you can, with me. I'll help you, you, just have to let me."
He looked down at our hands and then into my eyes. "It fucking sucks."
I let out a sigh of relief when I realized I had him. I finally got him to start opening up.
"It hurts, and I don't know why."
"Because it would hurt anyone to be left alone."
"No, I don't know why they left. Was I really that bad that nobody wanted to be with me? That my parents don't love me?" He asked.
"Of course your parents love you, I just don't think they were ready to have a kid Spence. They had you when they were sixteen; that's younger than us." A bitter laugh escaped his lips.
"Who are you trying to kid, they hated me. And I hate them."
I cupped his cheek and made him look at me. "Don't say that, they don't hate you and you don't hate them."
"Do you want to know why I was never close with my father? Do you want to know why he always used to buy his way out of everything?"
I shook my head and waited for an answer. When he didn't say anything I gently poked him. "Why?"
"Because he fucking hit me more times than I could count. And each time it just made me more and more numb to the point where I didn't care at all."
I felt my stomach drop and my heart stop. "Spence I-"
"Don't," He seethed. "Don't tell me you're sorry. Don't give me a look of pity. I told you my story wasn't pretty."
I looked down at our hands and gently rubbed his. "I had no idea."
"Yeah, no one did."
I felt myself shudder as I thought back to his horrific stories.
All those times I had seen Spencer with black eyes and bruises he would smirk and tell me, "You should see the other guy."
Little did I know the other guy was his own father and he was scratch free.
I felt my eyes water and a few tears fall down my cheeks and onto his head. I quickly wiped them away and tried to control myself until I broke down in a sob.
His story, it hit too close to home. It reminded me of something I didn't need to remember. It reminded me of a time where I didn't even know who I was. A time that I haven't shared with anyone or have learned to accept.
"Don't cry baby girl." Spencer whispered sleepily.
I sniffled and looked down at him. For the first time I had seen the tender side of Spencer and I feel like it was the first time he's ever shown it.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, running my fingers through his hair. Another sob escaped my lips and I shook my head. "I'm so sorry you were hurting and nobody knew." I said before lightly kissing his forehead.
I saw his eyes flutter open as he held my cheek, wiping away the tears. "I'm glad I told you." He said. "But I need you to keep it a secret."
I shook my head. "I can't-"
"You promised me Kelsey, I don't take promises lightly. You can't and you won't tell anyone, not even Jason."
I looked at him and slowly nodded my head. "It's our secret."
"Now please go to sleep, you've had a rough few nights." He said sweetly.
I still wasn't used to this sweet side of Spencer but I wasn't just going to let it slip through my fingers.
"You've had a rough few years." I whispered before obliging and getting under the sheets with him, placing my head on his chest. He turned the lights off and I closed my eyes.
I breathed in his scent and basked in the warmth radiating off of his bare chest. I felt his arm wrap around me protectively and for once in a very long time I felt safe.
Jason was right, I liked Spencer, more than I possibly could have imagined.
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I let out a slight groan when I felt the sun hit my face. I once again felt the warmth and hardness of Spencer's chest beneath me and I smiled to myself as I remembered last night.
I might not know how he necessarily feels about me but I do know that he trusts me. I also know that I do have feelings for him and right now I'm okay.
I looked up at his peaceful face as he snored lightly, his mouth agape. I traced my fingers lightly over his chest, trailing it over all the lines from his abs and chest.
I saw his fingers stir and he softly grabbed my hand. "Can't you let me sleep in peace woman?" He asked softly.
I shrugged. "That would be far too easy."
He grinned and looked down at me through one eye. "You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"
I scoffed. "Please, you wouldn't have it any other way."
He smirked and nodded his head. "I wouldn't." He said before kissing the top of my head.
We both froze at his action and looked at each other. "Right, so I'm going to go brush my teeth." He mumbled before getting out from under me and walking to his bathroom.
I looked over and admired his toned back and ass in his black boxer briefs. Yup, I definitely had a thing for the kid.
Spencer’s POV:
I spit my toothpaste out into the sink and looked at myself in the mirror.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Not once, and I repeat once have I ever been "gentle" with a girl. I fucked her and on more than one occasion left right after. I rarely stayed the entire night unless I was shitfaced drunk, tired as hell, or just thought the girl was some goddess.
But for the first time since I hit puberty and found girls hot, I actually stayed the entire night and didn't even kiss the girl.
I needed to talk to Jason.
~~~
He groaned into the receiver and clucked his tongue. "I already told you, you like her."
"I don't fucking like her." I hissed.
"Fine, explain to me what you feel towards her then."
I sighed in defeat and shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "I don't know."
"Ah, now you see that is because you've never liked a girl before. At least not in that way."
I looked down at my phone and had the urge to chuck it at the wall like I did with my cup last night.
I peered towards the bathroom door and heard the water still going. "Listen man, all I know is that it's freaking me out."
"You know what's freaking me out? The fact that I'm actually allowing this to happen. To think, there's a chance that my best friend will have a chance of deflowering my baby sister." He groaned. "If she's dumb enough." He added.
I scoffed and shook my head. "Let's be realistic bro, your sister is sex on legs. Chances are she has been 'deflowered' already."
"Spencer!" Jason hissed. "Shut up!"
"I mean I'm just saying."
"And I'm just saying if you give my baby sister one of the multiple STD's that you probably have, I will personally castrate you."
"Is this your way of telling me you want to come out of the closet, man? I have no problem with them but I don't play for that team. Which is the reason why I'm going for the more attractive, boob-bearing, Miller sibling."
I heard a door slam and I furrowed my brow. "Where are you?"
"On my way to buy a shotgun."
"Why?" I asked uneasily.
"To kill you for calling my sister the boob-bearing Miller sibling." He said calmly which made him seem crazier.
"So you're okay with me calling her sex on legs and saying I'll fuck her brains out but you won't accept 'boob-bearing'?" I questioned incredulously.
"We'll when you put it that way you make me seem crazy." He said flatly
"You're a fucking shithead, you know that?"
"I've been hanging out with you, of course I am."
I saw Kelsey leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, a sheepish grin on her lips. "Can I have a pair of clothes to borrow again? I'm really not comfortable in those jeans my mom brought me when I was discharged."
I smiled at her and nodded my head. "I'll call you back."
"Bring her back soon."
"When I'm good and ready." I said. He started to complain but I hit the end call button before he said more.
I handed her a pair of boxers and one of my black t-shirts. "Thanks," She said softly.
I nodded my head and went back to my bed while she changed. She came out of the bathroom and I smiled, patting the spot on the bed next to me.
"You hungry?" I asked.
"Define hungry." She said.
"Like you want food?" I questioned.
Her stomach grumbled loudly and a blush crept up her cheeks. "In that case, I'm starving." She said.
I smiled and pushed her hair out of her face. "What do you want?"
"Y-" She stopped and frowned. "Anything is fine."
I looked at her, a smirk on my lips. "What were you going to say before?"
She shrugged and hopped off my bed, taking off for the door. "I dunno." She threw over her shoulder. I quickly got off my bed and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.
"Really? I could've sworn you were going to say 'you.' As in you want me." I said huskily in her ear. I felt her shiver in my arms and my smirk grew bigger.
"I would never."
I rolled my eyes and spun her around, my hands on her hips. "Is that so?" She nodded her head and then I quickly wrapped my hands around her thighs, pressing her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I smirked at our close proximity.
"Say you don't want me."
"I don't want you." She said simply.
"That's nice princess; why not try saying it to my face, not my chest?"
"You know, you're really cocky."
I shrugged and looked down at her lips. "And you're really beautiful." I said softly, leaning down, my lips only centimeters away from hers.
"Spence," She said softly, her hand on my chest.
I looked into her eyes and nodded my head before letting her go. "How about some breakfast?"
She nodded her head and smiled at me, dropping her hands from my chest. She walked ahead of me and I admired her backside.
I don’t know what was happening to me. I finally opened up about my parents and out of all the people that I know it was Kelsey Miller. I mean I remember tormenting her when I was younger! The fact that there’s a possibility that what I’m feeling might not just be lust is crazy. I’ve never seriously liked a girl before so why the hell am I starting now?
I groaned softly while I followed after her down the kitchen. I wanted her so bad but I’m starting to realize that I can’t treat her just like every other girl. I have to gain her trust.
Well, this is going to be interesting.
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I don't normally really like my chapters but I feel awfully proud of this one and like it a lot! Ihope you guys do too! i tried to make it as good as I could since I won't really have computer access for a week! I won't be posting my normal every 3-4 days but I promise I'll try and write in my spare time!
I love you all and appreciate every single read! Comment and tell me what you think!xx