Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakikita ko. Ni hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman ngayon. Bigla ko namang naalala ang mga sinabi ng mga nakita ko kanina.
What if it's too late? Paano kung may ginawa na sa kanya ang mga 'yun?
Kelan kaya babalik si ate Rielle?
'These frequent Shinigami attacks around the campus really bothers me.
I've been searching for you for months but I can't find any clues.
God, ilang linggo o buwan na ba ang nakakalipas? Did I see them in different time?
Napatingin naman ako sa likuran ko nung may narinig akong ingay. Nakita kong bumukas ang pinto at nagmamadaling pumasok si Hideo habang nakasunod sa kanya si Dr. Miwako. Nakatingin siya sa totoong ako at para siyang nakakita ng multo.
"Why?" he said in a low, angry voice.
Lumapit si Dr. Miwako sa experiment table kung saan ako huling nakahiga. Parang kanina lang nangyari ang lahat pero hindi ko akalaing matagal na panahon na ang nakakalipas.
"The council's order. They want to conduct a study and carry out different tests on her but by doing that, she will definitely die," sabi ni Dr. Miwako habang nakatingin sa katawan kong nasa loob ng chamber. "She might be an enemy but she's still young...and I don't want to experiment on her kaya naman pinag-aralan ko lang ang body system niya nang walang dissection and injections. In order to save her from death, I made her sleep so she's in a dormant state. But..." Halos sabay silang tumingin sa tiyan ko at maging ako ay hindi makapaniwala sa nakikita ko.
"But after eight weeks, I detected a heartbeat. Akala ko nung una, unti-unti na siyang nagigising at nagiging active na ang puso niya. Week after week, napapansin ko ring lumalaki ang tiyan niya pero I assumed na dahil lang 'yun sa supplements sa cryogenic liquid. Pero may isa pang possible cause. I don't want to believe it at first but after I checked her womb, the fetus is already on its fifth month."
I cursed a mouthful when I heard that. Naghalu-halo na ang nararamdaman ko ngayon at hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Seeing myself inside this chamber is scary enough but knowing that I'm carrying a child inside me is terrifying. I am not ready for this. What's scarier is that I've been unconscious for five months and I have no idea on everything that's happening around me.
"Is she okay? Is the child okay?" tanong ni Hideo kay Dr. Miwako at kita ko sa mukha niya ang panic.
"They are. I've been monitoring them. Actually, I don't have any plan to tell anyone about this but when I identified the father, I was in a state of shock." Seryosong nakatingin si Dr. Miwako kay Hideo at hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman niya ngayon. "Alam mo ba kung ano ang pwedeng mangyari ngayon dahil dito, Hideo? Both of you are the next leaders of your respective tribes. If everyone learns about this, this child can be the cause of war."
Bigla namang lumapit si Hideo sa chamber at hinawakan niya ang salamin na nakapagitan sa amin. I felt his pain just by looking at his expression.
"I'm sorry," bulong niya habang nakatingin sa akin at sa tiyan ko. He repeatedly say those words and it repeatedly broke my heart.
'Sorry for being so selfish. Sorry for leaving you alone in this cold chamber for a long time. Sorry, Akemi.' I want to hug him because we share the same emotions right now. I want to tell him it's okay and everything's going to be fine but I know it won't.
"I know it's not the right time to say this but we still have another problem," biglang sabi ni Dr. Miwako kaya sabay kaming napatingin sa kanya.
"What is it?" he said in a worried tone.
"I told you she's in a dormant state right now, right? Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko alam kung kailan o kung magigising pa ba siya."
My mind went blank when I heard that. H-hindi na ako magigising?
"W-what do you mean by that? Bakit? Anong nangyari?"
"During her last seconds when she's still conscious, she used her sixth sense."
Did I use it? Hindi ko maalala ang mga huling sandaling 'yun. Everything was so hazy that time.
"Maybe subconsciously, she used it since she felt danger. However, she didn't use it to repel the liquid surrounding her nor the chamber itself. On her last moment of consciousness, she repelled her thoughts."
"What?"
"Right now, her mind is just an empty vessel. Kapag nagising siya, maaaring wala siyang maalala. Her memories and thoughts might be drifting elsewhere for five months after she repelled them. I don't know if she can really repel her thoughts and memories but if she didn't mean it, I don't know what will happen when she wakes up. She might lose her sanity."
Realization hit me. This...this...consciousness...it's my own mind. My mind which was separated from my body and I don't know how to get back. Lalo akong natakot sa pwedeng mangyari.
"Is there a way to get her mind back?" tanong ni Hideo at bumuntong-hininga lang si Dr. Miwako.
"There is, but it's dangerous—"
"I'll do anything for her."
This guy...how can he say that so easily? Seriously...
"Fine. A way to get her thoughts back is to find them using yours."
"W-what? How?"
"I'm sure you've heard and read about seventh sense, right?"
Tumango naman si Hideo at naalala ko ang nangyari nung gabing 'yun. I was able to see my surroundings clearly, which is his sixth sense, and his own thoughts flowed into my mind without any hindrances and difficulty but I almost 'drowned' in his overwhelming thoughts.
"Seventh sense is a dangerous technique and a natural one. You can't use it for training nor control it. Understanding yourself and the ones you want to share your senses with is the first step. Seventh sense is a technique to share your sixth sense and your mind to others but it's very difficult to open yourself to them. Alam mo ba kung bakit madalas magkakapamilya, lovers o 'di kaya magkakaibigan ang nakakagawa nito? It's because they can connect with each other much easier. They know and trust each other. Pero sobrang kaunti lang ang nakakagawa nito. Alam mo ba kung bakit?" Hindi naman sumagot si Hideo. "Because a person's mind is overwhelming and fragile at the same time. Sharing some of your thoughts to your family or friend is one thing, but opening yourself, your whole being to them, is another thing. We don't really trust a person 100% of the time. Laging may nakalaan para lang sa sarili natin. That's why seventh sense is a dangerous thing. You need to trust your partners completely. You should be willing to share your whole self, even your worries, fears and your deepest and darkest secrets, to them. That's why those who tried it and failed lost their sanity and even drove them to death."
If mind suffocation exists, I think that's what I'm experiencing right now. Kahit wala akong physical form ngayon ay parang nahihirapan akong huminga dahil sa mga narinig ko. I didn't know that seventh sense can be that dangerous and deadly. Thinking about that drowning feeling I felt when we accidentally did the seventh sense frightens me to the core.
"I'll do it," biglang sabi ni Hideo at hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko. He...he will do it? Is he out of his mind?
"Are you sure? You might suffer—"
"She's worth suffering for."
Natahimik si Dr. Miwako after that at naglakad siya papunta sa experiment table kung saan niya ako pinahiga bago ako mapunta sa loob ng chamber.
"I can connect your mind to hers but the rest of your body systems must be inactive since we don't want any interferences with your brain waves. But I'm telling you, you might end up like her. I'm just offering this slim chance to you but honestly, no one can save her except herself. Think about this, Hideo. Think about your child and the future."
Gusto kong sabihin kay Hideo na itigil niya 'to pero napatigil ako nung nakita kong namumuo ang luha sa mga mata niya. Doon ko narealise kung gaano kahirap ang desisyong ginawa niya para rito. He might be hurting right now but he's doing his best not to breakdown.
No one can save her except herself.
Those words left so much impact to me. I, too, want to save myself. While my mind is wandering a while ago, there are moments that I just want to die to end this misery. Gusto ko na lang na matapos ang lahat. Pero nung nakita ko ang mga importanteng tao sa buhay ko, unti-unting nawala ang ideyang 'yun, lalung-lalo na nung nalaman ko na may bata sa sinapupunan ko.
I want to give him or her a happy family because I didn't experience that. I want to be by his or her side when she grows up. I want to give her a better future that's why I want to live.
I will live for Rin, Sarah, my friends, for Hideo and for our child.
"No one can save her except herself?" bulong naman ni Hideo sa sarili niya at pagkatapos ay tumingin siya kay Dr. Miwako. "I can and I will."
Pagkatapos nun ay humiga siya sa experiment table at ilang segundong nakatayo lang si Dr. Miwako na parang hindi makapaniwala sa nangyayari. Lumapit siya sa table at umiiling siya habang nakangiti.
'Such a genuine and selfless person. He'll do everything for the people he love even if it's hurting him. You'll be a great leader, kid.'
"As I've said earlier, her mind is an empty vessel. I'm going to direct and transfer your thoughts to her mind and find a trace of her own thoughts and memories from the mind's dimension before the repulsion. Are you ready?" tanong ni Dr. Miwako habang pineprepare ang syringe at ang chamber.
"Yes."
"Good luck, kid."
Then I watched how he fell to the liquid and lose consciousness, how the wires encircled his whole body and how his chamber moved beside mine. The next thing I knew, in this darkness, his image...the embodiment of his thoughts was in front of me.
***