(Austin)
As I pulled Alexis across the parking lot to the bus I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down. How could those girls say something like that? They don’t even know Alexis! They don’t know anything! After we got on the bus I sat down and saw her take a seat.
“We’ll just get food somewhere else.” I said when we started driving. There was a moment of silence and I noticed she looked confused so I looked at her.
“What?”
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“Why did you say those things to her?”
“Because they were the truth.” I shrugged.
“Well not really.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“What you said about me being a girl who is confident and likes who they are and feels secure about themselves.”
“But you are.”
“No I’m not.” she shook her head.
“I thought you were over that.” I said.
“Well I’m not.”
“Alexis.” I sighed. “You are beautiful. Okay? Stop telling yourself that you’re ugly because it is so far from the truth that the two don’t even exist on the same planet. You’re beautiful.” I said. I stared at her for a moment and then started to lean in. She leaned but then quickly pulled away. She stood up and took a few steps back.
“No you cant do that.” She shook her head again.
“Do what?”
“You cant just say something like that and then try and kiss me. Not after what happened earlier.”
“Alexis I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that.”
“It’s too late for apologies.”
“Please Alexis-“ I started.
“No. wait here. I have to tell you something.”
“Then why should I wait here?” I asked as she walked off to the room.
“Because the only way I can do it is through song.” She said back.
She came back out and sat on the couch across from me and began strumming.
“All this time I’ve been wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been givin out chances every time
And all you do it let me down
And its taken me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you’re thinkin we’ll be fine again
But not this time around
You don’t have to call anymore
I wont pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t wanna hurt anymore
And you can say that you’re sorry
But I don’t believe you baby
Like I did before
You’re not sorry
No, no, no, no
Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
No, oh, no, oh, no oh
Whoa, no, no” she strummed the last note and I saw tears had formed in her eyes. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I just got up and walked to the bedroom. I looked at the ground while walking. i heard her say my name so I stopped, turned around and looked up at her.
“I want you to know, that no matter what, I’ll always love you. not as much as I used to, but I do. That feeling will never go away. But I cant-I just- I think-“ I stopped and sighed. “I just feel like ever since that day you broke up with me, there was something broken that, no matter how hard we try, can never be fixed. I really-“
“I get it. You don’t have to explain.” I said cutting her off.
“Okay.” she nodded.
“Well goodnight.” I said.
“What about dinner?” she asked.
“I’m not hungry after all. See you in the morning.”
“Okay. Night.” She nodded.
“Night.” I said as I shut the door. I kicked off my shoes and got under the covers of the bed, trying hard to fall asleep. Which didn’t happen. I ended up staying up way to late thinking about nothing and yet everything. I was reminded of yet again how much of an idiot I was. This was the only girl I was ever going to want to be with and she hates me. Where did I mess up? Oh yeah that’s right, when I broke up with her. God I’m such an idiot. I regret that decision all the time. Not a day goes by that I regret it. If that makes sense. What I mean to say is that everyday I regret breaking up with her and if I could go back in time and fix it then I would. But I cant. And that is the reality of it all. She is never going to want me back and I am just going to have to accept that.
So much for that song I wrote for her. It’d be stupid to play it now since she just sang me a song of how I’m not sorry. I’m not going to deny that that song was amazing. She was a great writer, but it tore me apart inside. I thought about how much pain I had put her through and realized that she was much better off without me. It killed me to say that but it was the truth.
I would never get to hold her in my arms again. I’d never be able to hold her hand. I’d never be able to hold her face in my hands when I wanted to kiss her. I’d never be able to do any of that ever again. She wanted nothing to do with me. With these thoughts in mind I drifted off to sleep.
-next morning-
I woke up feeling overly tired since I had barely enough sleep. I got out of bed and walked to the “kitchen” to see what we were doing for breakfast. I saw Alexis sitting at the table eating Mcdonalds.
“Morning .” she said. “I got you food since you were still asleep. I didn’t wanna wake you.”
“Oh thanks. That’s really sweet.”
“Don’t mention it.” She shrugged. I sat across from her at the table and quietly ate my food.
It was silent for a while and she seemed to be distracted by something so I glanced over at her. I noticed that her eyes had bags under them and looked puffy and red which meant she had spent the night crying. I hated that I had caused that.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
“What? Oh sorry. I didn’t realize I was.” I lied.
“Oh okay.” She nodded. A few seconds later I got a call from dave.
“Hello?”
“Hey Austin so I need you guys to pack up your stuff from the bus.”
“Why?”
“Cause we’re here (did I ever mention where they were going? I’ll check and then edit it in later)”
“Oh we are?”
“Yeah. And you have rehearsal in about two hours. You get to the hotel in a half hour so you both have time to shower and sort of get settled in.”
“Okay thanks for the heads up.”
“Bye.” He said. I hung up the phone and looked over at Alexis.
“That was Dave. We are arriving at the hotel in an hour and we have rehearsal in two hours. So he wants us to shower and try and get settled in. So we have to pack up our stuff.”
“Okay sounds good.” She said. I nodded and then quickly finished my food.
-at the hotel in the room after checking in-
“So um I’ll see you in an hour?” I asked or said to her. We had room that were right next door to each other in the hotel.
“Yeah I guess.”
“Okay bye.” I said as she walked off to her room.
Alexis
I took a quick shower and after blow drying and straightening my hair I looked through my suitcase to see what I was going to wear to rehearsal. Not that it mattered since all our “outfits” were already there. I decided on black sweats, a red tank top, black beanie and my blue converse. I still had forty minutes until I had to leave so I decided to turn on the radio.
You’ll never believe what song came on first.
“If you’re feelin the vibe.”
I couldn’t help but sing along to the all too familiar tune. I love this song. It’s a great song. And I loved him. But I couldn’t go back to him. It would make me look weak. He would think I was okay with him hurting me. Which I most definitely was not. A few songs later I heard a knock on my door.
“Alexis its Austin. Its time to go.”
“Coming!” I called back. I shut off the radio, grabbed my phone and walked out of my room after grabbing my key.
_____________________________________
AUTHORS NOTE: its not great, i know. but its something. thanks for being patient