I could hardly breathe. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was wearing a deep red gown with tight gathering on my waist. It was a little too fitting for my liking. Mother had chosen this dress for me saying that a young lady should show her curves at the right places to win the hearts of handsome young gentleman. I really wished that the earth would have swallowed me when she had said that.
"Mary! It's too tight. I can hardly breathe. I will die because of lack of air."
"Oh Miss Rosa, you worry too much. You are looking beautiful. Nothing wrong will happen to you."
"Does my hair really have to be tied up in a bun like this? It looks ridiculous!"
"Now Miss Rosa please don't be difficult. You look wonderful. Every man's eye will fall on you."
"That's what mother wants isn't it? She wants me married so that I am not a burden on her. Mary she is taking me for this dinner just as a showpiece. She wants all those gentlemen to come running after me like animals! I feel horrible thinking about it."
"Miss Rosa, a woman's life is tough. We must learn to accept this and move on."
She pulled my face towards her and she looked deeply in my eyes. Her eyes were filled with years of wisdom. "You are going to have a wonderful time. You are looking beautiful."
My own mother couldn't calm me down as well as Mary did. I felt overwhelmed and my eyes filled with tears. I simply nodded my head. Mary hugged me in a comforting manner as if trying to make all my worries go away.
"Rosalina! Are you ready?" My mother called out.
"Coming mother! I better go Mary. I will tell you all about my evening when I return."
I ran downstairs skipping a step at a time.
"Rosa! At least conduct yourself when you are wearing a dress! You remind me of a street child. I believe we have raised you better than that."
"Of course mother. You have raised a fine child." I muttered under my breath and walked my way past her into the carriage.
It was a lovely evening, the sun was just about to set. The rays of the sun fell on the leaves making them appear green, so green that it made me long to go and touch them. Suddenly I remembered the green eyes I had looked into when the owner of the eyes had caught me as I had fallen. Nicholas. His strong arms had encircled around me to prevent me from falling. Oh! They had felt so delightful. His face was etched in my memory.
We were going for a dinner party and ball to our father's friend's mansion. His name was Mr. Colin Wordsworth. He was a rich businessman working with my father. They had been friends since childhood and had started this business together. Now they were so rich that people feared them. It was rumoured that father and Mr. Wordsworth were very powerful people, so powerful that they could make anything happen and also there was a possibility that they were involved in some bad business.
We made our way to Mr. Wordsworth mansion. My mother was seated across me in the carriage and my father was seated next to her. They were discussing about the things to expect at the ball.
"Rosalina, I expect you to be at your best behaviour. When you are asked anything I want you to answer politely. There will be many important dignitaries, I don't want you to cause any trouble or embarrassment." My father said sharply.
"Yes father.", I said timidly.
"We never had any problem like this with Kate. She was a proper young woman."
That's what I disliked about my parents, they always compared me to Kate! It hurt me when they praised her and never said anything good about me. In such situations, I simply nodded my head and looked outside the window tuning out whatever they said.
"Are you listening Rosa?"
"Yes father?"
"I said, you will be attending the ball. Your mother and I will be with the other guests at the banquet. Young gentlemen and ladies of your age will be at the ball with you. If there is any sort of discomfort make sure you find some way of informing us."
I did what I was best at. I nodded my head.
The mansion was indeed a beautiful one. The butler had escorted me to the hall where I saw that people of my age group were dancing and seated. Some of them knew each other so they were interacting with one another, some were eating and chatting away. This was exactly the situation I had dreaded. Looking at them I felt bored already.
"Are you lost?"
I looked around and saw that a young man was talking to me. He had brown hair and warm brown eyes. His hair was brushed up neatly at the side which made his face look a little too big. His eyes radiated a wonderful warmness which made me confident that he would be friendly. He was good looking, but no one here could be compared to Nicholas. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I was surprised at myself. I had met that boy only once and I could not keep him away from my thoughts!
"No I'm fine, thank you for your concern thought." I smiled politely.
"I always try and look out for pretty girls like yourself."
I blushed deeply at this, no one had ever called me that before, but if I am completely honest, it felt nice.
"May I ask your name?" The boy smiled back.
"Rosalina, and yours?" Even though I hated the name, I still used it, my mother would get angry if I did not.
"Ah, what a lovely name that is." He grinned. "I'm Wilson. My friends and I are sitting over there, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a bit?"
I took a while to answer but then decided to say yes as he seem like a good man.
"Of course, that would be lovely."
Wilson guided me over to the table where the teenagers were sitting, they looked so posh and rich. I didn't want to make a bad impression like I usually did, so I just tried to casually talking to Wilson and a few other girls.
"Oh, this song is simply delightful, would you do my the pleasure of dancing with me Rosalina?" Wilson stood up, holding my hand.
"I'd love to." I said, getting up and taking his hand.
When I touched him, there wasn't a spark there like there was with Nicholas. Wilson was a handsome young man, but didn't come close to what Nicholas looked like.
Once the music started, Wilson put his arm around my waist and pulled me close, I took a glacé at my mum and dad who were both smiling at me. For once, I think the were actually happy with me. It felt.. Good? We danced around room like no one watching, laughing and just talking about ourselves. I felt secure in Wilson's arms, it felt comfortable. I'd never never danced with a boy.
I was really having a wonderful time, when I realised the dress was basically suffocating me. I needed some fresh air.
"I'm sorry Wilson I'll be back so, I just need soon air it's pretty warm in here." I said, fanning myself.
"Yes malady." He smiled. "I will be waiting on your return."
The cold air against my skin felt lovely. I just wanted to get out this horrific and run into the fields.
Just as I was thinking how annoyed I was at my parents for bringing me to this, I saw a very familiar figure working on a few things in the garden. I walked up to him and saw myself looking into a familiar pair of green eyes. That's when I realised who it was. Nicholas.
"Good evening." I blushed. "Nicholas right? I don't know if you remember me, I came to your bakery yesterday."
Nicholas nodded at me, not saying a word.
"So, what brings you to this ball?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.
He didn't reply, only smiled. He gestured at his clothes, he was wearing the uniform of a waiter. I realised that he was working as a server to earn extra money.
"Erm, you don't talk much, do you?" I mumbled.
Nicholas just shook his head. He went on with his work.
I was getting slightly impatient with him. "Look, if you didn't want to talk to me, I understand."
He got up and started walking away from me, I felt so ridiculous, I thought he liked me.
Just as my heart was beginning to crumble, he turned back round to face me, signilling me to follow. He brought me to the garden and brought out a pen and paper.
Hope wrote in the most neatest handwriting I had ever seen. The note read:
'I think you are beautiful Miss Rosa.""
I blushed deep red. No one had ever called me beautiful. Nicholas's compliment was different from Wilson's. Wilson saying that I was pretty was not something that touched my heart, but when Nicholas said that I was beautiful I felt wonderful from inside. Then a thought struck me. My eyes widened with realisation and I held his hand with the impact of my understanding. He was mute, he couldn't speak!
"I'm so sorry I judged you, I just-" I stared, but was cut of by someone shouting. I couldn't believe it, he cannot speak and I was demanding him to talk. Then I noticed his lips, they were slightly inside indicating he was mute.
"Nicholas? Oh there you are, come on, we are not needed anymore. We can go home." The baker from yesterday smiled.
"Oh, I'll see you soon Nicholas!" I smiled, starting to walk away.
Yes, my feelings for him had grown..again! There was something about his silence which made me want to know him. He was not only a beautiful boy but also a kind hearted person. I stared at him and the baker making their way towards the gate, as they reached the gate Nicholas turned his head back and looked at me. He smiled at me and bowed slightly and went away.
I never felt so lonely as I did at that time.
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