As I tried my best to fall asleep, for some unknown reason, I found myself thinking of about all of my previous incarnations. I could faintly recall each, and every one of them. Their faces appearing behind my eyelids like a slideshow every time I blinked. And no matter how much I’ve tried, I just can’t seem to get the slideshow to stop.
Blink.
Elizabeth, the first of my incarnations, came, with her long red hair, pale skin, and bright emerald green eyes. She was wearing the same cream-colored dress I saw her in, when I was in that mystical world. From what I’ve been told, she is the first to cross paths with Draco in the early eleventh century England, and the first one to die at the hands of Lilith and her coven.
It was there, when the picture of Elizabeth began to turn into a movie, and I was the third party observer, as I watched the scene unfold before me.
Elizabeth was walking through the crowded streets of London, looking frustrated as she browsed through the shops. Her red hair was wrapped in a tight bun, and she was wearing a worn but clean dress. She had just picked up some fruit to observe if they’re fresh when I saw a familiar figure bump into her, causing her to drop her basket full of bread.
“I’m sorry madam.” He said, his tone apologetic.
She shook her head. “No, it’s my fault.” She said.
Then, they looked at each other, and…they just couldn’t seem to look away.
“What is your name, miss?”
She swallowed. “Elizabeth Wilde, and who are you, sir?”
He bowed, like a gentleman, before taking her hand, and kissing it briefly. “Draco Feliciano.” He murmured.
It was there, in the middle of a busy, eleventh century street in London, I’d watch the very first meeting that had started it all. I was more than glad to watch how it all began, but I couldn’t help but feel a little weird about it.
I tried not to dwell on it.
Blink.
The long brown hair belonging to Ruth appeared, with her dark brown eyes appearing to look distant. She was wearing a pale yellow dress, similar to Elizabeth’s. I remembered when she told me the story of her family, living in Salem with her father, and her little brother, Jasper, having to take care of him after her mother had died. I also remembered how her life had changed dramatically on the year, 1692. When she met Draco, having to be accused of being a witch, and though she was found innocent, Lilith and the others had convinced the town otherwise.
Just simply recalling the story Ruth had told was simply appalling, considering what she’s been through—what I’ve been through—she could’ve rebelled, but she knew better. And for her silence she remained innocent until the end.
Blink.
This time, Agatha had appeared, this time with a pale pink dress, with her waist length dirty blond hair, and hazel eyes. I clearly remembered when she told her story, like Ruth, she too lived in Massachusetts, only on a farm outside of Boston, and in the late sixteenth century.
Strangely, I could even picture how her death happened, and what Lilith and the others did with her body afterwards. Using the superb timing they had, they’d placed Agatha’s corpse in the middle of downtown Boston, right after the British Army had killed many innocent people during the Boston Massacre. The city, and her family had already believed that she was at the wrong place at the wrong time when it occurred, but somehow, Draco knew otherwise.
Blink.
This time, a picture of a Southern plantation appeared before me, and I could see Hope, picking cotton in the hot Mississippi sun. At first I was befuddled, then I remembered what time period this is—I still couldn’t get over the fact that I was a slave. I could see Draco walking along the fence, watching her work, that lopsided grin of his on his perfect features—and I was still surprised that he’s not burning up, or putting on some freak show, all the while standing outside on a beautiful, cloudless day.
I simply watched—as a third party observer—when Hope looked up, meaning to wipe the sweat off her forehead, when her gaze met Draco’s, and I could see the emotions that went through her after her dark, onyx eyes met his blue, ocean eyes. She smiled, but when the sound of a guard yelling at a little girl to her senses, it disappeared, and she quickly went back to work.
The scene suddenly changed to nighttime, and I could see Draco leading Hope into the woods, both of them were smiling.
“What’s this you want to tell me?” she asked, confused, but confident. “I know what you are, what’s more to know.”
I smiled to myself, glad that each of them were smart enough to know what he really is. And yet, as I watched, I couldn’t stop the feeling of jealousy coursing through my veins. Even if she was me or not, just seeing her with Draco made me feel…resentful.
“Hope,” Draco said, his voice just as luring as I remembered. “I love you. And tomorrow night, I’m getting you out of this living hell, and get you North—to freedom.”
She smiled, but I could tell that she was mostly worried than elated. “Oh, Draco, I love you too, but escape is impossible.” She fretted, squeezing his hand. “I’ve seen many of my close acquaintances murdered by the guards whenever they tried to escape…” she paused, tears falling from her face.
Draco rolled his eyes, and she glared at him, outraged for scoffing off her warning.
“Hope, you actually think that a bunch of powerless guards could stop a vampire?” he asked, eyes probing.
She laughed, but from what I could hear, it sounded shaky. He carefully placed his hand on her cheek, and at that moment, the exact moment when his skin met hers, I could see the sense of worry evaporating from her body. A smile formed on her broad lips, and I could tell that it was a real smile, it made her onyx eyes twinkle.
Then, the scene changed, to the next evening. I watched quietly as Hope eagerly waited for nightfall, her parents seemed to be unaware of her daring jailbreak. She waited in a small room, where her family is kept; occasionally glancing out the window, only to see the sun is slowly setting.
When the sun finally did set, and when she was sure the coast was clear, Hope carefully walked out of the cabin, and carefully walked into the night. I watched as she made her way into the surrounding woods, the same woods where she’d sneak into with Draco so they could be together. I mentally cheered her on as she walked by the fringing trees, unnoticed from the other guards who’re from what I can see, inside for a ball the land owner’s throwing.
I continued to observe how careful her movements were, not to make any sudden noises, fearing that there might be a guard waiting for her. Whenever she’d stepped on a twig that would snap, she’d freeze, waiting for the yelling, and the beating that would come. But when she realized that no one heard her, she’d continued, and I smiled down at her for her bravery.
Then, three dark figures stood, and I could tell that we’re getting to the bad part—her death. I could recognize the shapes of Lilith, Phoebe and Jack, and so could Hope.
She froze, horrified.
“You no need to fear us.” Phoebe spoke, her tone hinting kindness, but I could tell it was false. But Hope still wasn’t convinced. “We know that you’re looking for Draco.” Phoebe added gently.
“Really?” Hope blurted, confused.
“Oh, yes. Follow us, and we’ll take you to him.” Lilith said with a smile, a smile that I knew very, very well.
Hope, whatever you do, don’t go with them, they’re just going to kill you! I wanted to scream, but somewhere in the back of my consciousness, I knew that she wouldn’t be able to hear me.
Reluctantly, Hope followed them, and I couldn’t watch what I know is going to happen. If only she knew the real danger behind their false pretenses.
Blink.
The scene finally changed to a different city, different season, and different time period. I recognized the Chicago skyline, and judging from the way the automobiles are designed, it must be in the 1920s. I quickly came across a theater, with a line of people—mostly men and their dates—waiting out in the cold. It wasn’t until I saw the marquee sign displaying the act the theater is showing that I know why everyone is gathered here.
Tonight the Chicago Theater presents: Esme Kenny.
Just that very name sent a wave of recognition through my entire body. I know that she’s an earlier version of me, because I’ve met her. I also know that Esme Kenny is just a stage name, her real name is Esmeralda Lopez.
I watched as a door to the back alley of the theater opened, and I could see Esme wrapped in an expensive-looking coat. I easily remembered seeing her in the mystical world. And she looked just the same as she did the last time I saw her. Cropped, inky black hair; slightly tanned skin, and honey brown eyes—she was beautiful enough to be a runway model. It was her beauty that had intimidated me when I met first her, I still felt intimidated just by watching her.
Moments after she had stepped out, I see Draco following her into the cold, and they were laughing, boisterously.
“Shh!” She hissed, still smiling. “The show hasn’t even started, and we’re acting like we’ve had too much to drink from a hooch.” She laughed; almost as if she couldn’t keep the serious façade she was putting on.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure your…um, fans could wait a few more minutes.” Draco murmured, his voice silky smooth, and sounding completely sober despite the laughter that rung across the alley.
Then, I watched with pure jealousy as he begins to kiss her, the same way he’d kiss me. The jealousy continued to flow through my veins, and at this point I could care less if she was a previous me, but common sense saved me from myself.
You weren’t even born yet Willa, so just shut up, and watch the show. I told myself angrily, and after taking a deep breath, I continued to observe the scene going on below with a calm, serene expression.
Blink.
The sound of loud, rock music came into my awareness, along with an unappealing smell. I saw a stage, with a banner, and I recognized the band playing. It was then, I quickly realized where I was: Woodstock, in the late 1960s; and I know that somewhere amongst the crowd of hippies Quinn, the last incarnation of me, is here.
It didn’t take long for me to spot her, though it was almost impossible to spot a mousy brown hair girl, with freckled skin, and blue eyes. Draco wasn’t hard to find, so once I found him, I’d found Quinn, at the very moment they bumped into each other.
As I watched, I realized something, something I should’ve asked when I was in that mystical world with Quinn. I’ve never seen Draco outside of the gentlemanly, or mysterious bad boy persona he’s used to woo the others, as well as me. It was interesting, if not weird to see him mingling among the other hippies, drunks, potheads, and drug abusers. Of course, I know that he’s looking for Quinn, but still.
I shook my head, dislodging the convoluted thoughts in time to watch the first meeting unfold before me.
She was pushing through the crowd, needing some air, and obviously feeling claustrophobic, so she didn’t see Draco until someone unintentionally pushed her into him. Almost knocking her to the ground, but he caught, and steadied her.
“I’m so sorry.” She shouted over the loud wailing of the electric guitar.
He looked down at her, to tell her it wasn’t her fault, and after one look into her eyes, they just couldn’t seem to look away. It immediately reminded me of the first time I’d met Draco, after one look, I couldn’t seem to look away.
I continued to watch as the next three days of Woodstock passed, and Quinn and Draco never seemed to drift apart. They continued to talk over the loud rock ‘n’ roll music blasting, and every once in a while, they’d dance to the song, and join in the mash pits. At one day—on the second day I believe—they’d found an ancient oak tree, and they’d made a carving using a pocketknife he’d brought.
Together, they both carved,
QH + DF= 4Ever
1969
And to add to how much they loved each other, he quickly carved a heart around their makeshift declaration without any difficulty. A romantic move, if not clichéd from my point of view, but the whole scene did look like something out of a classic romantic movie. I wondered if I went to that location, maybe the tree would be there, along with the carving.
On the final day, I watched as he made Quinn the offer that I know that she couldn’t refuse.
“Come with me.” he murmured.
She looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Come away with me, away from here, we’ll see the world, and all of it’s wonders.”
She laughed, but he remained impassive. After getting the giggles out, I watched as Quinn realized the meaning in his words. Her blue eyes went wide with the realization.
“You were serious?”
He nodded.
She seemed…awed, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I watched as she stared off into space—thinking over his words.
“I-I don’t know. I, ugh…” she stuttered, undecided.
He smiled that lopsided grin that melted not only my heart, but also each and every one of the previous incarnations, including Quinn. “Don’t worry, there’s no rush. If you change your mind I’ll be waiting for you tonight, near the old oak, by our carving.” He said.
Sadly, I know that she’s not going to make it. And I know that she didn’t die of a drug overdose, like what the innocent people and the medical examiners believed to have happened to her. And, no matter how loud I’d scream, or how crazy my movements were, she never once took note that I was watching her—none of the others did when I tried as well.
It wasn’t until after I saw the discovery of Quinn’s body that I began to wonder, Why am I watching this in the first place?
I began to ponder as pictures of certain scenes of each of my previous selves came into my awareness. I stared at them, seeing nothing out of the ordinary at first, but then I began to see something odd in the scene. I noticed a shadowy figure, lurking in the shadows not far from the couple in the picture.
Could it be Lilith, or Phoebe, or Jack lurking back there? I asked myself, but I couldn’t tell for sure, for I don’t recognize this tall figure.
I could tell that the figure is male, but other than that, I couldn’t see any notable features. He’d be located where it’s almost impossible for any other passer bys to notice, just in the background, unnoticed by Draco and the others. Then I began to wonder if this guy is a secret cohort of Lilith and company. I’ve never seen him before, and I’m not sure if anyone else has either.
Then, the sound of a loud beeping noise came into my awareness, and the picture show completely disappeared. I rolled over on my bed, slowly realizing that I’d been dreaming this whole entire time, and shut off the alarm.