Remember that anything in BOLD and italic ARE SENTENCES THAT WERE SPOKEN IN PORTUGUESE BUT I WROTE IN ENGLISH.
I took off my shirt as Dan and I continued making out. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if Chris and PJ were doing the same right there, next to us. A quick thought ran through my mind, that we could possibly, MAYBE, tell them to do it /next to us on the bed/, and we could, /maybe/, join them, and make it an orgy or something like that – but I shook the thoughts away. No. I didn’t want anyone else touching /my/ boyfriend. I’d have to be pretty drunk and high to let that happen, and I was sure Dan wouldn’t let anyone else touch me too. At least I hoped he wouldn’t.
I broke the kiss I was sharing with Dan and kissed his neck, glancing quickly at PJ and Chris. They were doing exactly the same as us, and to be honest, it was kind of hot watching my two friends making out, even if it was just for 3 quick seconds. As I’d said earlier, I was too /busy/.
I didn’t mind making out with my friends there, but things were getting heated, and Dan and I had some problems under our belts. We wouldn’t have sex there, because we knew Chris and PJ were far from doing it. Also, Dan and I were quite verbal.
“We should go to the bathroom” I whispered into Dan’s ear. I’d thought of having sex in the bathroom, just for a change, and that seemed like the perfect opportunity. We had taken showers together, yes, but for some reason we really just had some cute moments there, we had never had proper sex. Some things I just couldn’t understand about our relationship, but well, that’s how it was.
“Yes, we should… where do you want it to be? Bath? Sink? Toilet? Floor?” he bit my earlobe. Oh lord, Dan knew how to be sexy when he wanted to. Just his voice, the way he moaned quietly when he finished the sentence. It wasn’t a proper moan, but for some reason, even how he exhaled air turned me on, in moments like this. I just loved Dan so freaking much, for me, he was the definition of perfection, I didn’t think I could find someone better than Dan. He was flawless. He was cute, romantic, funny, sexy... Everything I’d ever want. He probably had some flaws but I couldn’t see them.
“Why isn’t the wall an option?” I bit his bottom lip and pulled it out, sucking on it a bit then letting it go back.
“Anything is an option for you. Except for my parents’ bedroom, that would be awkward”
“Don’t ruin our moment talking about your parents” I giggled quietly. Our noses were brushing and we’d always peck each other’s lips whilst we talked.
“Yeah sorry, let’s go back to talking about how your dick wants to be inside me now” He sunk his teeth on my jaw, literally biting the skin there. “Why don’t you tell me how much you want it?”
“I want it… like… a lot” I stroked his side, and stopped when I got to his hip.
“You know… I’ll have to stand up and walk all the way to the bathroom… You know I’m lazy and that’s a lot of work. Will you make it worth it?” I felt his nails scratching on my lower back, and even that was a turn on.
“Yeah… I’ll do everything you want, so why don’t you give me some details? What do you want me to do for you, babe?”
“I want you to push me against the wall and I want to wrap my legs around your waist as you fuck me, I want you to thrust fast and hard inside me, as deep as humanly possible, I want to see you sweating and moaning, I want you to be rough, can you do that for me, love?” he pulled my body closer to his, attaching our crotches together. Teasing was good, but I couldn’t wait anymore. I stood up without saying anything else and pulled him by his hand. There was some hot action going on between Chris and PJ and I glanced quickly. Dan looked at them and then at me and giggled, they were so into it. We left Dan’s bedroom and closed the door behind us, going straight to the bathroom.
Time skip. 1 week later.
Dan was taking a shower; I was in my bedroom, lazily checking things on the internet. Grace was taking too long to reply to a message so I scrolled down Facebook. The news about my dad kept showing up there. Things were getting worse, I could see that, but I was trying to keep control. Dan kept saying I couldn’t believe everything on the internet, that I should call my father or my mother and ask them myself… But I didn’t think they’d say anything. They’d hide it all from me.
Luckily I was just about to go meet my father. He had arrived in London that morning. According to him, he had some meetings there. That was ridiculous. My dad didn’t need to go to Europe for work. I was pretending I believed what he said though. He wasn’t going just because he missed me, no, that was for sure. We would meet for only half an hour, at 5pm. Also, if he was going just to see me, he would probably want to go there get to know my host family, my new house, but no. He didn’t.
I’d obviously not tell him about Dan. I’d go alone, so I could ask my dad what was happening.
I saw Dan going back to his bedroom, which meant I could go take a shower too. Honestly, I was extremely worried about my dad, I was just not letting Dan know about it. I didn’t want him to worry about /me/, so I kept it all to myself. I had already planned everything I’d tell my dad, the words I’d use, everything. I wanted to sound confident. I wanted to show him that I wasn’t the boy he ‘knew’ anymore. I’d wear jeans, but I chose my best shirt, one that I hadn’t worn before. I had some social clothes my parents bought me for the parties they forced me to go. I thought it would be good to bring at least one of those shirts with me, because… well, you never know. My dad was always wearing suits and everything, and he always said he was still waiting for me to become a man and wear proper clothes instead of jumpers and stuff. I never cared about his opinions, but for some reasons, I cared that day. I wanted him to be proud of me… even though I knew it wasn’t going to happen, I could try.
“Wow, are you sure you’re going to Starbucks?” Dan stood at the door gap. I didn’t know for how long he was there watching me as I straightened my hair.
“It’s not the place that matters, but the person I’m going to meet” I said as he hugged me from behind, placing his hands on my hips.
“You look so freaking wearing this shirt” he said, making eye contact with me through the mirror.
“No, I just look like a serious and emotional stable person” I giggled; blushing a bit because of his compliment. I just couldn’t help it.
“Do you really need to wear this just to meet your dad? I mean, he’s still your dad”
“You don’t know him, Dan… this is just something that will help me get some information from him”
“I wish I could meet him… I mean, you know my parents, you live with them, but I haven’t met yours… I know it’s difficult but still…” He sat down on my bed. I was almost ready to go.
“Dan, if there’s something in this world that you can be sure about, is that you don’t want to meet my parents. Imagine material and egocentric people, who only think about money and social status.”
“What do you think they’d say if you told them about me?” he asked quietly.
“They’d probably say I’m not their son anymore or something like that” I pecked his lips as I got my wallet and phone. “Really, you don’t want to meet them. Maybe someday you will, but for now I think it’s better if we pretend I don’t actually have any dad or mum”
“I see… Grace is already waiting for us”
Grace picked us up there. He’d drop me at Starbucks and they’d go to Bertie’s apartment.
I kissed Dan before leaving her car.
“Good luck babe” he whispered.
“Bye Grace” I said as I jumped off her car and closed the door.
I took a deep breath before entering Starbucks. I was 5 minutes late, so I guessed he might be there already. He wasn’t. I got a seat and waited for him. Anxiety wouldn’t let me take my eyes off my phone, to check the time.
5…10…15….20 minutes had passed and he hadn’t arrived. Another thing I hated about my parents. They were always late – for everything.
I was considering leaving, but as soon as I thought about it I saw my dad coming in. He was wearing a suit (like he always did, I’ve never seen my dad wearing other kind of clothes) and a girl followed him. Her hair was blonde and long, it touched her waist. Her clothes were… inadequate, at least for a lawyer. She wasn’t any kind of co-worker, which was probably what my dad was planning on saying. Her boobs were showing more than they should. That girl was probably the definition of ‘hot’ if you asked a straight guy. As they walked to my table, I ran my eyes up and down her body, checking every little thing I could. She was wearing high heels and tight jeans. She was in her twenties, that was obvious. Honestly, she looked like a rich slut.
*Fe!* (Phil!) my dad said as he got closer. I shook his hand but he pulled me to an awkward hug. I hugged him back, but I was so sure that was fake.
*Oi pai* (hey dad)
He pushed me away and looked at the girl with him, ready to introduce her.
*Essa é a Angela, minha nova secretária* (this is Angela, my new secretary)
The girl smiled showing all her teeth and kissed both of my cheeks (something people do in Brazil when saying hi). I kissed her cheeks as well, trying to look friendly and nice. His new secretary? That made sense. I don’t think I mentioned this but I was sure my dad cheated on my mother, and, well… having an affair with your secretary wasn’t very original but that’s what he did. I never said anything though, even though I had seen things and heard things, simply because I thought my mum knew about it, she just didn’t do anything.
*Prazer, Fe, seu pai falou tanto sobre você no avião* (Nice to meet you, Phil, your dad told me everything about you in the airplane) She smiled. It was so fake I almost threw up. My dad didn’t know anything about me, how could he tell anyone? Bullshit. Also, who did she think she was to call me Phil? When your dad’s little bitch tries to be nice to you, anything she does is ridiculous. Everything made sense now, I didn’t need more explanation about his trip to London. He was taking the girl there, whilst my mum was home. It was pretty obvious.
*Espera ai um pouco, vo compra um café* (Hang on a bit, I’ll buy us a coffee) My dad said, leaving me alone with the girl. I had already bought my coffee, so I took a sip of it and stared at the girl, with a serious expression.
*E ai Fe? Tá curtindo o intercâmbio?* (What’s up Phil? Are you enjoying England?) she said with a smile, trying to talk.
*Sim. Digamos que eu saí do inferno e vim pro céu* (Yeah, Basically, I left hell and came to heaven) I didn’t smile or anything though, I didn’t need to be nice to her. I looked down at my phone and replied Dan’s text, saying my dad had gotten there.
*Quais são as novidades, filho?* (Tell me the news, son) my dad came back and sat next to the girl, in front of me.
*I made some friends, the school is great, my host family is great, my new house is awesome.* I said quietly.
*Good to know, good to know. I see you’re wearing the shirt I always say you should wear. Are you wearing that every day or just to meet me?* he took a sip of his coffee.
*Well… My school uniform is a shirt like this, so I wear that… but when I can choose my clothes, no. I’m just wearing this today to come meet you* I said seriously, making eye contact with him and trying to sound confident. I wanted him to know I’d changed.
*That’s right, for now. There will come a day you’ll have to wear this* he pointed at his own clothes *every day* he completed. Oh, didn’t I mention my dad wanted me to study law? In fact, he had already chosen the university I’d go to.
*I know that, dad* I said quietly, and looked down. My father was intimidating, to say the least. Even if I tried hard to impress him, I couldn’t. Angela, the little bitch he had brought, was watching us as we talked, taking sips of her coffee.
*Great* he said, drinking a bit more. He took a cigarette from his pocket. He was allowed to smoke in that area, because it was just next to the window and it was open, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to impress him a bit. He’d always told me I should drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes, because according to him, that was what men did. I thought it was gross though (at least until I met Dan), so I never accepted cigarettes from him. He was just so… I have no words to describe my father. Sometimes I felt like I was talking to a man from 1950. My grandfather was just like that too, so there was a reason, I guess. I took a cigarette from my own pocket. The area was kind of reserved so I didn’t think anyone would mind if a teenager was smoking there, and also, anyone would think I was older than I was. I was just very tall.
*Do you mind?* I said, lifting the cigarette up and asking for his lighter. My dad grinned and offered me to light it up. I accepted and took a deep drag off my cigarette. Just to show him I could.
He watched me as I did so, kind of impressed.
*So, I guess England taught you some things, son* he said, taking a drag himself.
*Oh you can be sure about that* I remembered how Dan taught me how to love, I remembered having sex, doing drugs… I had learned some things indeed. I quickly shook the thoughts away though.
*Good to know then*
*Dad, I need to ask something* I said quietly, being cautious.
*You can*
I froze for a bit. I knew all the words but suddenly I forgot it all.
*Ermm…* I cleared my throat. *It’s just because… I’ve seen some things… on the internet. Like some articles in the newspapers… about you* I said quietly, waiting to see his reaction.
He kept his expression though. I glanced at Angela, her reaction was the same. Serious.
*Well, I’ve been having some problems with that, son. They’re telling lies about me, trying to get my power. You know how that works, but you don’t have to worry, everything is under control. Isn’t it, Angela?* he looked at the girl. She nodded. It wasn’t very convincing though.
Did I really think my dad would tell me the truth? I knew he was lying. I knew that those articles weren’t lies. I knew he was involved with much more, illegal stuff… but should I insist? Tell him I’d heard him talking through the walls? Tell him I’d seen some weird papers in his office? How would I explain how I’d seen it? My dad always said it was forbidden to go in his office. Ok, ok, I was investigating, true… but just because some things were suspicious.
*Are you sure about that?* I asked.
*Of course I am, son. Don’t you think I’d know if I had done those things, Philip?* he changed his tone, speaking more seriously. He was a good liar, of course he was. He was a lawyer.
*Well… Would you tell me if you had done, dad? I don’t think you would* I took another drag off my cigarette. My heart was faster; my hands were sweating. I was facing my father. That wasn’t an easy thing to do. Honestly, I don’t know how I managed to do that.
*Angela, can you wait outside please?* He said to the girl. She did as she was told, of course she did. I was now alone with my dad. His expression changed, like he was mad and angry at me. *Are you insinuating something, Philip?*
*I’m not, dad. I’m just asking* I tried to sound confident but failed.
*Listen to me, son. I don’t want you involved in any of this. I already have enough problems. I’m your father, and I’m telling you that I did not do anything. I’m your father and you’ll support me. If anyone asks you, and by that I mean, /anyone/, you’ll say that I’m not guilty, and support me. Do you understand?*
I took a drag and tried to not look scared. Truth was, my dad intimidated and scared me sometimes.
*Of course I’ll support you, father. What kind of son would I be if I told everyone you’re guilty?*
A second later I felt his hand on my cheek, slapping my face. That didn’t hurt, to be honest… I’d gone through so much pain (Haven’t I told you about the bullies?), that was nothing. A girl that was in a table near us looked at us though, a bit in shock. I kept my serious expression though, I didn’t care about that. I took another drag off my cigarette like if nothing had happened.
*Don’t you dare talk to me like that, Philip* He said trying to sound and look casual so the people around wouldn’t think we were actually arguing.
*No need to get aggressive* I said making eye contact with him, sounding casual like he was doing. I didn’t want to get any attention from people there or anything.
*Of course there is, you should respect me, I’m your father. Apparently, England is teaching you some wrong things as well. Should I bring you back to Rio with me? So I can teach you how to be polite? Didn’t I teach you that when you were 10, Philip? Didn’t I teach you that you have to respect your father?*
*You did* I couldn’t look into his eyes for much longer, so I looked down. The last thing I wanted was going back to Rio, and my dad knew that, so he made sure to threaten me. Another thing I hated about my dad, he’d always use other things to get what he wanted.
*Good, then. I wasn’t expecting this coming from you, son. I don’t want you getting involved in my work. Do you understand that? You won’t believe anything you see on the internet, or anything anyone tells you. If you do anything wrong, you know you’ll go back home, don’t you?” He stood up and offered me his hand to shake. I shook his hand but didn’t stand up too.
*I’ll see you soon, son* he said, and left. Angela, the girl, was waiting for him at the door. They left and I saw, through the window, how he placed his hand on her waist as they walked. I already knew what happened between them, but seeing it hurt. I don’t know but for some reason I felt like I should protect my mum, even though she was that much of a mother. I couldn’t do anything though.
I covered my face with my hands and held my knees against my chest. I wished I could cry, because… my dad was just so cold. How could someone be like that? I had been living in a different country for more than 2 months and he didn’t even bother to ask me anything, about school, about my friends, about my host family… And also, that only confirmed what I was sure about. My dad was really guilty, and everyone was finding things out. It wouldn’t take long for something bad to happen, I felt it.
For a moment, I just wished Dan was there with me. I shut my eyes closed and to be honest, for at least 1 minute I just stayed there, not knowing what to do. I knew I’d have to get up and go to Bertie’s apartment at some point, but for some seconds I just wanted to disappear.
That was when I felt a kiss on the top of my head. I’d recognize that kiss anywhere. Also, Dan kind of hugged me, it was a weird side hug as I was still holding my knees, but I could smell him, I didn’t need to open my eyes to know it was Dan. I could smell him. I could feel his hands on me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked quietly, looking up at him. He sat next to me and kissed my cheek.
“Sorry, I just… I was waiting outside on a bench. I just… I thought something bad could happen” I couldn’t care less that we were in public so I pecked his lips and entwined our fingers.
“Thank you for doing that, then… I was just thinking how I wished you were here with me”
“I saw your dad leaving… with a girl. Is that your mum?” he asked confused.
“No, my mum isn’t 22, Dan, and also not so hot” I giggled. “She is… my dad’s secretary. As you could see, not just a secretary…”
“Oh. I see. Wow.”
I quickly told him the conversation went.
“What? He slapped you?” he said, stroking my cheek.
“Yeah but I don’t care about that”
He kissed my cheek.
“But he shouldn’t have done that”
“It didn’t hurt, and to be honest, I think words hurt more sometimes”
“Still, how could anyone slap such a beautiful face?” he really sounded worried.
“The kids in my school used to beat the crap out of me, Dan… that was nothing”
“Still. Ugh. I feel bad because I don’t want you in pain. I don’t want to see you suffering, love”
“If you’re with me I won’t, okay?” I pecked his lips.
“Can I be with you forever, then?”
I cupped his face. How could someone be so perfect?
“Show me your perfect dimples” I giggled, not actually responding to his question.
He forced a cute smile and I kissed his left dimple.
“All I want is to be with you forever” I said against his skin.
"Then, please, don't leave me, okay? I love you so much. You make me so happy"
"I won't. I promise" I pecked his lips.
~~
TIKE SKIP. 2 WEEKS LATER.
It was the beginning of April. Things were normal. Things were great. I tried to forget and ignore everything I saw on the internet that was about my dad. I knew the articles kept coming, I knew things weren’t good there… but my dad said he didn’t want me involved. So I wouldn’t get involved.
I was watching TV with Aidan and Mrs. Howell. It was a Wednesday, I think. Dan was doing his homework, upstairs in his bedroom.
“Aidan, dear? Can you get me a cup of water?” Mrs. Howell said.
“Really, mum? Can’t you just get up?”
“I’ll get it” I stood up.
“Thank you dear” Mrs. Howell said.
I went to the kitchen to get it. I quickly got my phone, just to check the time, but then I saw my mum was trying to talk to me. 3 missed calls. Weird. I called her back.
*Mãe?* (mum?)
*Oi! Filho!* (Hey, son!) She actually sounded happy.
*Tava tentando me ligar, mãe?* (Did you want to talk to me, mum?)
*Sim… Filho, na verdade, tenho boas e más noticias* (yeah, son, I have good and bad news.)
*Yeah, I’m listening. Tell the bad things first*
*Son… This is kind of… important. Do you have time?*
*Yeah, just hang on a second* I said as I handed Mrs. Howell the cup of water she had asked. I went back to the kitchen and then went outside, closing the door. For some reason I felt like my mum was going to tell me something… really bad. *Yep. You can speak now*
*So… yeah, son. Your father told me you already know about what’s going on here. We’ve been having some big problems, even financial ones. I don't think he'll get fired though, you don't need to worry*
*Hm… That’s bad, mum…*
*Yes. It is. He is being sued. I really think nothing is going to happen, though. You know your dad is a good lawyer*
*Yeah, I know*
*So, that’s the bad news.*
*And the good one?*
*I’m going to a church! Isn’t that great? I’ve been going there for 2 weeks. It’s helping me, you know? To get through it all. Also, made me realize how much I miss you, son. Do you pray? I’m praying for you now, every night*
*Oh… really? What kind of religion?* I asked confused. My parents never went to the church, like… ever. My mum was the last person on Earth I’d thought would go to a church.
*Catholic. It is really great, I’ve met some nice people there.*
*That’s good, I guess… If it makes you happy* I never liked religious peolpe though, especially Catholics. Honestly, I couldn’t understand why my mum was going there. Things were probably worse than she was telling me they were. She must have been desperate. She would never go to a church.
*It really does… but tell me son, do you pray?*
*I don’t*
*Then you should start tonight. Alright? Pray for your father. He’s going through a lot right now.*
*Alright*
*Great! I miss you, son*
*Yeah mum… I miss you too*
*I need to go. We’ll talk more, okay?*
*Ok. Bye*
I watched the sky for a moment. I wished I could know what was happening back home. Then I remembered. I had Sofia’s number, I could call her. Sofia was the maid who worked for my parents. She basically lived there, she probably knew something. I could call her.
*Oi? Sofia?* (Hey, Sofia?)
*PHIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL, AW, I MISS YOU DEAR!*. How could the maid be more happy when talking to me than my own mum? I had no idea. It made me feel special though.
*How are you Sofia?* I asked
*I’m fine dear, how are you? How is everything in England? Are you enjoying it? And your family? Your school? Aw! I’m so glad you called!*
I smiled like a fool. Dan joined me at that point, and watched me as I talked to her.
*I’m fine, thank you so much! Everything is so good here. Really, my family is awesome, I made a lot of friends, and everything is so good! But Sofia, I’m not calling to talk about me… are you in my house? Do you have some time to talk?*
*Yes, of course I do, dear. What’s it?*
*I just… I’m really worried about my parents. My father. I know what’s happening there, you know? But they won’t tell me anything! Can’t you tell me how things are going?*
*Well… Phil… dear…* She hesitated.
*Yeah? Please Sofia! I know they probably told you not to tell me anything, but please, I need to know*
*I shouldn’t tell you anything, Phil… I’ll get fired*
*No, you won’t. I promise. Please. I won’t tell my parents*
*Ok then… Well, Phil… Everything is… wrong, I think. People keep calling, and I need to tell them your dad is not home. At least 30 times every day, people from newspapers and stuff, trying to get an interview. Some photographers are literally living in front of the building, waiting for your father when he leaves and when he arrives. Honestly, people are crazy looking for him. First, because of that guy… You know that guy who killed his girlfriend and stuff? Yeah. People are saying the guy is guilty but according to your father he’s not, so people think the guy is… you know, paying your father some extra money. It was very polemic and then, somehow people decided to spread rumors, saying that your father is involved with other illegal stuff. Like serious things. The other day, a group of 50 people were shouting in front of the building, and they only left when the police came. Your father is really worried and it seems like he’s in trouble. That’s so wrong, Phil, your father is such a good man. I don’t understand why this is happening to him”
I sighed as she spoke. Just everything I was expecting.
*Right… right. But tell me Sofia, what about my parents? I mean, their relationship. Are they arguing a lot? Or something like that?*
*I shouldn’t tell you this Phil, but yes, I’ve noticed they’re having big fights and stuff*
*Right… Okay* I sighed. *Listen, don’t tell my parents I called you, okay?*
*I won’t. Don’t worry. Anything more you want to ask?*
*No, not really, thank you so much Sofia.*
*It’s okay, Phil… I really miss you here, this place is empty when you’re not here*
*I’ll go back home soon… Bye, Sofia*
*Bye, Phil*
“So, who were you talking to?” Dan asked.
“This may sound weird but I was talking to the maid who works for my parents”
“Wow. You have a maid. Sometimes I forget you’re rich” he chuckled.
I explained my friendship with Sofia, how I spent a lot of time talking to her whilst he tidied the house.
“And then once, I told her I had no friends, and I felt bad because I didn’t have any numbers in my contact list, so she saved her number on my phone, said that I had a friend” I giggled. She was a nice woman.
“That’s nice, I guess. Can we go upstairs?”
“Yep.”
~
I sat down next to Dan, on his bed.
“have you finished your homework?” I asked.
“No… But I just wanted to talk about something” he said quietly.
“Yeah… what’s wrong?” I stroked his arm.
“Last night… I did something… That I shouldn’t have done” he was looking down, and I realized something was…wrong. He was sad.
“What did you do, love?” I asked calmly.
He slowly pulled up his sleeve, showing me his wrist. There were 2 cuts there, obviously new cuts. We both hadn’t cut for a long time.
“Dan! Baby!” I kissed his lips “Why did you do this? When? Dan!”
“Yesterday when you were sleeping” he said quietly
“Why didn’t you wake me up? What happened?”
“I just… I found a video… that I made with my brother. I didn’t know where it was but yesterday I found it on my old computer.”
I hugged him and he hugged me back. I kissed his neck. How did I let this happen?
“I’m not sad anymore, I’m just worried because my dad might ask to check it again” he mewled.
Mr. Howell eventually stopped checking our arms and chests every day, and began doing it once a week.
I kissed his cuts and pushed his sleeve, covering it.
“You don’t need to worry, until then it’ll be better. Are you sure you’re not sad anymore?”
“Yeah.”
“Come here, lie down with me” I said pushing him. He lay on my chest and I kissed the side of his head.
“We can talk about it if you want” I whispered.
“I don’t. I just… I was sad. I’m not anymore”
“Next time, you’ll go to my room and wake me up, alright?”
“Ok” he was quiet.
I stroked his legs with my foot and we were in silence for a moment.
“There’s something else I want to talk” he said.
“Ok. What?”
“I was wondering… It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I want to tell my parents that we’re together. It’s just so bad that they don’t know about it. I hate pretending we’re just friends”
“I’ve been thinking about that too… But don’t you think they’ll be asking questions? Like when we’re alone at night here. They’ll keep coming to check what we’re doing”
“Yeah, they will… but they’ll get used to it. They aren’t homophobic, things will be weird and stuff, but they’ll get over it. They know I’m bisexual, I told them once”
“Well… they’re your parents. It’s your decision. If you want to tell them I’ll support you okay?” I kissed his shoulder.
“I really want to. You know why? Because I love you” he moved so he could face me. “I love you so freaking much, Phil. I want everyone to know you’re mine. I don’t care. You’re everything for me.”
“I’m so lucky I have you, Dan. You’re perfect, and I love you. I want everyone to know it… well, not everyone, maybe not my parents or people from my school in Rio, but everyone else”
I told Dan about my mum going to the church. We talked about that for a bit, and then we decided we should go talk to my host parents. We’d tell them everything. I felt like it was the right thing to do.
We went downstairs in the lounge. Mr. and Mrs. Howell were watching TV, like they always did.
“Hey dad, mum, can we talk about something?” Dan asked shyly.
“Can you just wait a bit so this ends?” Mrs. Howell said, talking about the TV show they were watching. Dan and I sat down on the free couch and watched the rest of the thing. I could tell Dan was anxious, I was as well.
When it ended, they finally looked at us.
“So, what’s it you want to talk about, Dan?” Mr. Howell asked.
“Can you turn the TV off? It’s kind of important” he said.
Mrs. Howell gave us a curious look and raised an eyebrow. She turned the TV off. My host parents stared at us, waiting. Dan would be the one who’d speak, we have decided. We hadn’t really planned what we would say, but I knew Dan could handle it.
“So… what I want to tell you…” he paused.
“Yes?” Mrs. Howell said. They didn’t look intimidating or anything, they were just waiting. Dan froze.
“What’s it, son?” Mr. Howell asked worried.
“It’s about… Phil… and about me” he said quietly.
“Yes, we’re listening. What’s it that you two want to tell us?” she was being so nice, honestly, she was. She had a lovely expression, like she was really listening, and not judging. Mr. Howell looked more like… curious, and just watching. I was just watching as well. First I thought it would be better if I wasn’t there, but Dan said he wanted me by his side.
“You know how we… we’re really good friends, you know that right?” Dan asked. He entwined his own fingers, just to have something to do with his hands.
“Yes, and I’m so glad that you two are having fun together” She smiled.
“Yeah… what if I tell you, that we’re not just friends?” he asked quietly.