And so we come to the end of another story :( I've had great fun writing this story and I hope you all join me for Becoming Jane.
Her secret will be revealed in the FIRST chapter! And with any luck that chapter will be up tomorrow :)
And I have picked a winner for my little guessing competition - some of you were way off and some of you were close. None of you were dead on, but I've picked someone :)
So anyways, enjoy!
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Epilogue
Sabine rubbed her hands over the flickering flames as they danced over the logs in the fireplace. Winter was coming quickly and the snow had started to stick to the ground as November came to a close.
In a week’s time they would be departing for Yorkshire, and it would be Connor’s first Christmas spent with her family. They would leave earlier than the rest of her family, and travel up to Scotland to spend the rest of winter with his family. Sabine didn’t know how well they’d travel though, if the snow was already becoming hazardous. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the hope that they would be able to see both families in the short space of time.
They’d made their home their own in the short time that they had been living there. Her father had seen to it that the necessary renovations were done swiftly after the wedding.
The wedding had been beautiful. Connor had dressed in a traditional Scottish wedding suit, something that was entirely different to anything she’d seen an Englishman wear before. She too wore a sash or McKenzie plaid across her white wedding gown. Deirdre had told her the night before the wedding that in Scotland, the wedding ring was a symbol for eternal love.
“A circle,” she had said simple. “With no beginning an’ no end, your love will never end.”
She had never felt more sure of anything when she they had exchanged vows, watching the sincerity of his brown eyes when he spoke.
It saddened her when it came time for everyone to return home, but it meant it was time for her new life to begin … and another’s apparently. Munro had taken her advice. She didn’t know the intimate details, but Munro had somehow charmed Heather into a very euphoric mood for the rest of their trip.
Sabine enjoyed the independence and freedom of running her own household. Most of all, she enjoyed being styled as Lady Sabine McKenzie, as Connor was ‘Sir’, and spending time with him outside day in and day out, helping him train their horses. Connor had constructed a type off barrier that would drop when the horses were to start racing that she thought was very clever.
Word had spread about the new sport that Connor was so heavily invested in. He planned to begin racing come springtime and he’d already had several wealthy men and women board their own horses with them with the hopes that they would win races and amass a small fortune. Not only was Connor brilliant with horses, but he was an incredible entrepreneur. He and Sabine together had developed training regimes to help enhance speed and stamina. Puissant was the exception, she was already a perfect specimen. Connor desperately wanted to foal her, but Sabine didn’t want her mare in pain. She was older now, and Sabine wanted Puissant to be comfortable for her remaining years.
In the meantime, they’d had two months of completely uninterrupted time being husband and wife. That was a change she entirely loved.
“Two months,” she gasped to herself, filled with sudden realisation. Standing up from the fireplace, Sabine tightened her wrap around her shoulders and crossed the drawing room to the window. Looking out the window, the rate of her heart getting faster and faster. She could see Connor outside, wearing only his undone white shirt and a simple of slacks, coaxing a stubborn colt around the riding ring. “It can’t be,” she whispered, looking down to her flat stomach. Resting a hand there, she imagine a little baby growing in there. A wide smile spread across her face.
She began to quickly move across the floor, but stopped herself, knowing she had to be more careful. Lord, could she ride? She couldn’t recall if her mother had ridden when pregnant with her brothers for it was so long ago. Pulling open the door, she scanned around the small foyer for a maid. When she couldn’t find one, she resorted to ringing the bell in the drawing room. Minutes later, young Georgina appeared. Georgina was one of the several young maids who her father had hired to work for them.
“You rang, milady,” she said, curtseying.
“Yes,” Sabine said excitedly. “Have someone fetch my mother at Southerby … and the doctor please. Immediately, I must speak with them.”
“Of course, is everything alright, milady?” Georgina asked.
Sabine nodded. “Yes, yes it is, please. Just have footmen sent out right away.”
“Yes, milady,” Georgina replied, curtseying and flitting from the room.
“Thank you, Georgina,” Sabine called after her, fearing she had just been rude in her moment of elation. Giggling, she too left the drawing room, feeling like she was walking on clouds. She wasn’t sure, of course, but there was only one explanation. She just never imagined that it would happen so quickly.
Stepping down the few stairs to the soft ground, Sabine wished she had pulled on her travelling coat. The cold air nipped at her exposed skin and it chilled her right to the bone. She would never know how Connor could manage to work in practically nothing – she was sure he would one day catch the death – but his blood seemed to run hotter than the average man’s.
She made her way briskly over to the barn where she had seen him disappear into, still wearing a goofy smile on her face. The heavy door creaked as it opened and Connor’s head popped up.
His wide, crooked smile spread across his face as he saw her. He abandoned the bag of feed he was holding and raced over to her. Securing his arms around her waist, he lifted her up and spun her around. Placing her down on the ground, he kissed her neck. “Ye have no’ come out to see me today,” he murmured against her neck. “I’ve missed ye.”
“It’s cold today,” she whispered.
“Jus’ a breeze,” Connor dismissed it. Connor brushed the back of his hand over her cheek. “What’s tha’ smile for?”
Sabine was still smiling like a fool. “I’m not positive, but I do want you to be the first to know. Mama and the doctor are on their way … I believe I am with child.”
Connor froze and he released her quickly. His eyes widened and his muscles tensed, as if he had just received the worst news in the world. It was not the reaction Sabine had been expecting from him.
“There’s … there’s a bairn,” he whispered, his brown eyes filled a mixture of horror and fright.
“Possibly,” she nodded. She then remembered his previous fears and objections. He was afraid that she would die like her mother did so many years before.
“What have I done?” he said to himself in a distressed voice.
“Stop that,” Sabine commanded, gripping his jaw in her hands. She looked into his eyes sternly. “You will stop that this instant.”
“But ye will die, Sabine. I don’ think ye understand!” he stressed in a pained voice. Pulling himself from her grip, he took a few steps from her and slumped his shoulders. She watched as he clenched his fists so tight that his knuckles were turning white.
“I will not die,” she said sternly. “And we will celebrate this together. This is a very good thing.”
“Ye can’ know that, Sabine,” Connor said, still not facing her. “Ye can’ know when your time is.”
“Perhaps my time is when our baby is born. Perhaps it is tomorrow if Puissant bucks me off her back. We can’t know. But what I do know is that fearing death is no way to live.”
Connor turned around slowly with a painfully tight look on his face. “I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost ye,” he admitted.
Sabine was determined to live, no matter what. She was going to enjoy her child. “You won’t have to. I’m not going to die, not when I have you around to save me. You’ve always saved me, even when I didn’t think I needed it.” She closed the distance between them, taking his clenched fists in his hands and massaging them with her fingertips until they relaxed. “I want us to enjoy this experience. What is meant to be will come, but I won’t spend this time in fear.”
Connor smiled slightly. “Ye are a wise woman, Lady Sabine,” he noted. “Bu’ I think it will be me tha’ will need the saving,” he chuckled. His hand made its way onto her stomach and pressed down softly. “Ye really think there is a bairn in there?” he whispered.
“Yes,” she replied. “I do. You’re to be a father.” And she was to be a mother. The thought overwhelmed her. She did not know the first thing about being a mother. Looking back at the arguments she and Jane had had, she didn’t know how she would handle it. It seemed as though she had a few more things to discuss with her when she arrived.
Connor pressed his lips to her forehead and hugged her tightly. “I’m happy, Sabine, it’s just tha’ the fear outweighs the happiness at the moment,” he admitted.
“I know,” she replied. “But think of the fear we will experience when her first suitor comes calling. Think of her wedding and think of leaving the safety of our home. There is plenty more to be fearful of, darling, once she’s actually here.” All those things frightened her too, but it was years away, and no doubt those years would fly by, but she would be there to see them, she was sure of it.
“A lass, then?” he checked. “A lass is what ye want?”
“I don’t mind. But in my heart I know it is a girl,” she smiled. She knew it was a girl, when she thought of her she saw her face and she knew her name. “Her name already fits her so perfectly.”
“What’s her name to be?” Connor asked.
“Eleanor Jane,” Sabine replied contently. Smiling, she said “She will be named after my mother, who died saving me, breathing my name as her last words, and my mother who raised me as her own. She loved me unconditionally, something I needed when I felt like I was completely alone, and continues to love me even when I test her nerves.”
“It is perfect,” he agreed. “Lass,” he said to her stomach, kneeling down on the ground. “I’m goin’ to set ye a few rules while ye are in there. One: Ye don’ hurt your mama. Two: Ye are healthy, an’ he keep ye mama healthy. An’ Three: Ye kick our hands when we call out ‘Ellie’. Ye do those things an’ then I don’ think we will have any problems.”
Sabine giggled, knotting her fingers in his golden locks. “Ellie,” she repeated. “I love that.”
Connor leant against her stomach and held on her hips. Such a gesture made her feel utterly peaceful. She didn’t know how or when she would die, but to her grave, whether it be in seven months or forty years, she would take these memories.