My phone buzzed inside my bag drawing my attention from my current focal point -a small stain on the window of my car. Fuck! Now I really had to finally risk making eye contact with my bodyguard -the same bodyguard who appearently had a thing for me and who wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. In fact, tension -which kind, I couldn't really tell- was hanging heavy in the air between us already. I didn't even want to imagine what would've happened if I looked her way or worse yet, tried to start a conversation. She wants more than just a friendship from you and you know you can't give her that, so man up and just tell her the truth. You're simply not into women. My conscience snarled, her choice of words making me wince. 'Man up'? What the fuck? That was exactly my problem. I couldn't man up. I was a woman.
Finally pulling my cell out, I had to bite back the frustrated moan that almost escaped me at the sight of my friend's name.
Lila: Are you still coming today?
I was really starting to get sick of that text. My friend was asking me that on a daily basis already, in spite of the fact that my answer was always the same. Taking a deep, calming breath, I texted her back anyway.
You know I am.
Pushing the send button, I sighed deeply, knowing better than to let Lila and her raging hormones get to me. Unfortunatelly that got Gabe's protege's attention, Ginger giving me a questioning look from the driver's seat and instigating one of the sweetest smiles I could muster given the situation at hand. First she'd been acting completely strange this whole morning and now this? If I didn't know any better, I would've said that she was becoming paranoid, the impossible woman. Or maybe you are. My conscience drawled. Now that she was over Gabriel's departure, she had crawled back to the center of my brain, catching the spotlight and becoming an even bigger bitch than before.
"I need to fuel the car. We'll make a detour." I nodded my head, glancing out the window again. I had no interest in making things more complicated than they already were by talking and saying all the wrong things to her -which I knew I would have. The fact that she refused to look me in the eye and that the little conversation we made was shallow and uninspired was bad enough. I didn't need to make any of us feel more uncomfortable than we already were.
Pulling into the gas station's parking lot, she opened the door and climbed out of the car without even glancing my way. I watched her going around my Mazda and stopping next to the man waiting by the gas pump and gesturing while talking to him. A phone started vibrating a moment later and a quick glance at the cellphone in my hand convinced me it wasn't mine. Quickly scanning the interior of the car, I found Ginger's phone lighting up an vibrating, waiting onto the driver's seat to be picked up. I don't know what made me do it, but I grabbed the Blackberry, glancing at the screen.
A text immediatelly appeared before my eyes and my mouth dropped open, my breath catching in my throat. The text I'd received from Lila and the text I'd sent her back were both waiting to be read. On Ginger's phone... How the fuck was that even possible? Quickly scrolling through her text list, I found more of mine and Lila's messages, not to mention the calls history, full of the numbers of the people I'd spoken to during the last month or so. There it was; Lila's number and Meredith's; the missed calls from my father and Brandon's phone number. Oh my God! I wasn't being paranoid. I was simply being kept under surveillence. By Ginger.
Turning off the Blackberry, I scanned my surroundings again while placing the phone back onto the driver's seat and trying to take a deep breath. I had to behave normally or Ginger was going to know I'd found out about it and tell Gabriel. Then they were both going to try and find different ways of spying on me -ways I couldn't find out about before it was too late. Things had to stay the way they were. They had to believe they could monitor and control me. And all this time, I had to pretend I knew nothing about it and also keep a closer eye on my bodyguard. God only knew how many other spying devices she'd installed into my house, phone or car. Fucking hell! I had to start keeping my distance from Ginger. Maybe even find another ride to the court house and then back home.
Of course she had to make things so damn hard for me. Of course Gabriel still controlled me. And of course he wouldn't let me move on. I'd never thought he would, really. I'd never even thought I would allow myself to move on...
$$$
I didn't make a sound on our way to the courthouse, making Ginger scowl at me. I knew she was wondering what was with all the silence. I knew she was becoming suspicious -maybe even more so than before. Yet I couldn't make myself find something to say to her. I felt betrayed by the person I was supposed to trust the most. How do you get over that?
"I'll pick you up at 5 and take you to see Lila." That wasn't a question, but I nodded my head nonetheless. Not that she was really going to pick me up though. I planned to find a cab to take me where I needed to go from now on, or better yet, rent a car of my own. It was moments like this that made me miss my Chevrolet. And my former life. "Is everything ok, judge?" I wanted to laugh at her. To tell her that nothing was ok.
"Everything's fine, Ginger. I'll see you at 5." I smiled and did my best to sound convincing, even though I was actually not going to see her. In fact, I had to start looking for an excuse for why I couldn't see her anymore. An excuse for avoiding her, more accuratelly, because that was exactly what I planned on doing.
Opening the car's passenger door, I quickly climbed out, not giving my bodyguard the chance to say another word. Unfortunattely for me, Ginger was just as stuborn as Gabriel. I was already preparing myself for the argument that was coming my way.
I heard the door slam shut when she climbed out of the car and cringed, refusing to stop walking. A few moments was all it took for her to catch up with me and grab my wrist, turning me around and pulling me into her. Before I really knew what was happening her full, red lips had captured mine in a soft, lingering kiss. By the time she let go of me, my brain was a mess. Did I like that? Oh, yes, I did. And now you see why I said my brain was a mess. I was not into women, for fuck's sake, but there I was, realising I liked being kissed by one. So screwed up. My conscience mumbled and I finally gathered the courage to look up at the one woman who'd managed to leave me speachless.
"I had to do that. I'm sorry." I wasn't. What the fuck was wrong with me? "I'll see you at 5." She mumbled smiling and placed another quick peck onto my lips. Gabriel's face flashed before my eyes, his scent intoxicating me and that was when it hit me. It wasn't Ginger I thought about while she kissed me. It was Gabriel. She reminded me of him so much. And now, I felt as if I was both cheating on him and her. It wasn't fair for me to still think about him. Especially not while one of his proteges kissed me. God, that sounded so fucking wrong even to my own ears.
Quickly turning on her heels, Ginger started for the car, leaving me alone in the middle of the parking lot. I could've sworn I was flushed and ravaged and panic flooded me for a moment. How was I going to show up in court like that?
Lightly running my hands through my hair and pulling at my green, knee length, office dress, I started for the elevator, trying to stop thinking about what had just happened and hoping to God for nobody to notice my flustered form.
$$$
Brandon smiled at the sight of me, my old bailif a breath of fresh air after everything that I'd been through this morning.
"Your father's called me a couple of times, kiddo. He's worried about you." Not my father again. At first, when I had tried to call him, he refused to answer my calls, and now this? He really needed to make up his mind. But right now, I couldn't talk to him yet. Not anymore. I needed more time to heal.
"Thank you, Brandon. I'll make sure to call him later." No, I wasn't, but he didn't need to know that. Brandon was a good man. I knew that he would've tried to make me talk to him. My bailif nodded and smiled, opening the door to my office for me.
"He really loves you, judge." He mumbled before letting me step inside and closing the door behind me. I knew my father loved me and I bloody loved him too, but if I was given the chance to choose between him and Gabriel right now, I would've made the same choice all over again -not even considering the fact that Gabriel was currently at the other end of the world, the bastard.
My office was empty, cold and quiet and it gave me the perfect opportunity to think about everything that was wrong with my life. I hated the fact that the man I'd stupidly fallen for was thousands of miles away from me. I hated the fact that Ginger and her kiss had reminded me of him. I hated the fact that I was so weak as to even need a bodyguard. And above all, I hated the fact that, all this time, he hadn't once contacted me.
A knock at the door reached my ears just as I took a seat in my chair and Cacy Lindon pocked her head inside. I'd grown to hate the woman and I also think she knew that too, but as she didn't seem to mind it, I didn't bother hiding my feelings from her. Further opening the door, the annoying woman stepped into my office, walking to the couch without a word. She had a mean smile stuck to her face and I gave her an impatient look. I didn't look forward to spending the following minutes in her company, but the sooner she started talking, the sooner I was going to get rid of her.
"I'm really sorry for coming in unannounced, but I have some news you might be interested in hearing." Oh, so that was why she smiled so brightly at me. Cacy was here to tell me that she was suing me -because of the Shaffer case, why else? The bitch had guessed my implication with the case and now, she was doing something about it. Now, you might wonder how I already knew that. Well, first of all, I'd always knew that it might get to this. Second of all, I had my people who kept my back, of course. "I thought you might want to know that I'm appealing the Shaffer case's sentence." That was it? Well, I didn't worry about that. I'd expected she did that a long time ago and already made sure nobody would reopen the case.
"Good for you, Ms Lindon." Cacy grimaced while I tried not to smile triumfantly back at her.
"I know what you did." She spat at me through gritted teeth and this time, I actually forced myself to smile. She didn't know what I did, she just suspected it. And well... As long as she had no evidence against me, I didn't really give a crap about what she thought she knew.
"Well, good luck trying to prove it, Ms Lindon." The smile on her face slipped a little. She knew just as well as I did that I was right. In fact, one of the reasons why I didn't try to defend myself to her was the fact that I knew she was never going to find enough proof to incriminate me.
Standing up abruptly, Gacy grabbed her white purse and pulled at her black, pencil skirt until she straightened any eventual crease of the fabric, then scowled at me. Oh, if only looks could kill...
"I'll take that as a challenge, judge Groves. Make sure to watch your back." I barely helped myself from smirking at her. Cacy's hand reached for the knob to open the door and I had to clear my throat to get her attention. Turning her head toward me, she gave me a questioning look.
"Have a nice day, Ms Lindon." My perfectly normal tone took me aback. I knew I had to play it cool and act normally and I knew I couldn't afford giving Gacy the chance to take me down, but I'd never really expected my voice to sound so normal while lying to her. Appearently I'd underestimated myself.
Giving a short nod of her head, Cacy finally opened the door and stepped outside. She wasn't giving up on her beliefs quite yet. I'd seen that in her eyes the moment she'd stepped out of my office -determination written all over her face. Cacy was going to fight for justice, whereas I was going to fight for the exact opposite. Maybe my place really wasn't in court anymore.
$$$
A red SUV pulled up in front of me and I quickly glanced backwards, checking my reflection in Paula's hair salloon's windows.
The door to my red Mazda opened, Ginger quickly climbing out and heading toward me, her determined strides making me cringe, her frown firmly in place. I knew she'd be here ever since I called for that cab, but that didn't stop me from making the call. And right now, nothing could stop me from waiting for that cab to arrive and take me to the clinic where my best friend and her son were waiting for me.
"Judge? What do you think you're doing? And what the fuck have you done to your hair?" My bodyguard asked me, her hand grabbing my wrist and trying to pull me into her. I did my best not to hiss in pain from her strong grip and continue to act nonchalantly while running my free hand through my currently slightly shorter, much blonder hair.
"I'm waiting for my ride." I almost spat the words at her, Ginger's eyes widening a fraction. I knew she was still trying to get used to my change of look, her eyes constantly looking from my face back to my hair.
"Well, your ride is here. Let's go." The grip of her hand tightened around my wrist, making me bite my tongue to stop myself from whining the moment she started to pull me towards my car. Digging my heels into the ground, I refused to budge. My shoes were going to be ruined when she was done pulling at me like that and I almost bursted into tears at the thought of my beautiful Loubutins all ruined, but I wasn't going to give up that easily. "Stuborn, stupid woman... Wait 'till Gabriel hears about what you did to your hair. You have no idea what you've just started and the motherfucker's gonna blame me, I'm sure of that. Fuck!" My bodyguard mumbled on our way to my car and that's when I realised that she was still pulling me in that direction.
"Ginger, stop! I'm taking a cab to the clinic." She stilled immediatelly, a chill runing down my spine the moment she turned so that she could face me. I knew I shouldn't have said that and I was just about to take back my words the moment I remembered why I was doing this. Ginger was not to be trusted. She worked for Gabriel. She was spying on me for him. I was mad at her.
"Look. If this is about this morning, then you should know that it's not going to happen again. I know I've made a mistake." A mistake? I had to seal my lips shut not to tell her how much I approved of her mistake. I ended up just shaking my head at her, my now blond hair meeting my face.
"It's not about this morning." I mumbled, my voice barely a whisper. Ginger frowned, her beautiful eyes searching my face and making me squirm on the spot.
"What is it about then? What's going on, judge?" I wanted to slap her across the face and scream at her and hug and kiss her, all at the same time, but I couldn't. First of all, I had to stop thinking about her like a replacement for Gabriel and second of all, we were standing in the middle of a fucking parking lot, in front of a fucking hairdresser salloon. This was no place for a mental breakdown.
"How do you receive all my messages and phone calls?" I asked instead and Ginger paled for a moment, her heart picking up so much speed that I could actually hear it beating.
"Judge, it's not what you think." How did she know what I was thinking and how could she imply that I was wrong? I'd never been more right in my entire life and we both knew that.
"How is it then?" Ginger shook her head lightly, her eyes full of something resembling guilt. That was good. She was supposed to feel guilty. For fuck's sake! She was guilty.
"It's all for your own safety. Trust me! We would never do something to hurt you." And there was that we again. I suspected she was talking about her and Gabriel, but that didn't make me feel any less angry. Nothing had given them the right to invade my privacy. What privacy? My conscience huffed and I found myself wanting to punch the bitch all over again.
"No, Ginger, you're not doing this for me, so don't try to make it seem that way. You're doing this for him." Her brows furrowed all over again, her eyes expressing the deepest confusion possible. She didn't know what to say to make things better and for a moment there I wanted to tell her to stop trying to say something at all. Then her phone started ringing and Ginger had no other choice but to take the Blackberry out of her jeans' pocket and connect the call.
"What?" She barked at the person at the other end of the phone, making me slightly jump. I knew something was wrong the moment her eyes darkened and started scanning our surroundings. "Stay on the phone." She breathlessly mumbled and pulled at my hand again, this time actually making me move. "Get in the car, judge!" She growled at me when it became obvious that I was still putting up a fight. Too bad that there was nothing in the fucking world that could've convinced me to get into that car with her. "For once in your life, Julia, do what you're told. Please!" She must have been desperate to get me into that car since she was trying to reason with me, but I was way past the point of being reasoned with. "Fine." Ginger huffed, bending down and picking me up -Mathew style.
The passanger door of my Mazda opened and I was simply dropped onto my seat, Ginger hurrying to buckle me up. I didn't understand the rush, but this wasn't the time for me to start asking questions either. After making sure that I was going nowhere, Ginger went to the other side of the Mazda, opening the door and climbing into the driver's seat. The car's engine roared to life the moment she switched the key into the ignition and my breath caught in my throat when we pulled away from Paula's.
"I like your hair, but it was nicer before you died it." My bodyguard mumbled while glancing into the rearview mirror. What the fuck was she doing, trying to make small talk while she was so obviously worried about something? Her terrified expression screamed danger.
"Ginger, what's going on?" She slightly shook her head, then took a sudden left turn, making my head bump against the window. That's when adrenaline and panic flooded me.
"Realx, judge. I've got everything under control." No, she didn't. If she had everything under control, then she wouldn't have had to drive around town like a maniac, in the attempt to lose our followers -and no, she didn't have to tell me we were being followed; that much I had gathered myself. Two huge, black SUVs had us cornered, following us and getting closer and closer to their target -again, meaning us.
"Ginger!" My voice was shrill and demanding, my bodyguard immedatelly turning her head to look at me. I knew I was bordering insanity, but you try to get through something like this and keep your head clear then tell me how it worked. I was freaking. "Tell me what the fuck is going on. Enough with the secrets, for God's sake." Her eyes softened the tiniest bit and I let out a breath of relief. I'd thought that I would have to fight her for information and the fact that she'd given up so easily was messing with my mind.
"I've got things under control, so don't worry about it, but there are some very bad people following us right now, judge." Great. I was not an idiot. I'd realised that much. I wanted the details. "This is why we had to 'invade your privacy' in the first place." She mumbled and that's when it dawned on me. Those bad people following us right now, they were not really following US. They were following me for some fucked up reason. That was why Ginger and Gabriel were tracking me down. That was why Ginger was not letting me out of her sight. That was why I needed a fucking bodyguard and why she'd stayed behind with me. Why Gabriel had left her behind. I was in danger -God only knew why.
"Oh my God! They're after me." I uttered and Ginger briefly closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in what I guessed to be annoyance.
"I didn't say that." She didn't fucking need to. I was not stupid.
"They are, aren't they?" I wasn't ready to give up on the subject quite yet. Not until I'd gotten some answers.
"Julia..." A white Minivan stopped right in front of us, making Ginger pull at the steering wheel so suddenly that an impact was almost inevitable. And just like I thought, we ended up crashing my Mazda, but not into the white Minivan in front of us, but into one of the black SUVs that were now driving on either side of us. A loud boom made me grit my teeth to stop myself from screaming and the events that took place after that horrible sound filled my ears happened in slow motion. I saw the car we were about to hit. I saw the triumfant smirks on those men's faces. I knew what was going to happen. Shit was about to hit the fan and we were going down with it.
My eyes closed by instict and I tried to ignore the searing pain bursting in my head the moment it collided with the window. Ginger was injured too, her nose bleeding, her hand hanging loosely at a weird angle. Her green eyes found me for a second before the doors of the SUVs opened, 8 men climbing out of the cars and I could see that she was scared too.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled and I could hear the pain, disappointement and tears in her voice. Then the doors of my Mazda opened, a huge man pushing the airbag out of his way -that was when I realised that the airbags had come out- and reaching out to me. He picked me up and the last thing I remember is the smell of sweat, musk and tobacco.
$$$
"We have the girls, boss." One of the men who had kidnapped us said just as I became sightly aware of my surroundings. I was seated on the backseat of one of those black SUVs that had followed me and Ginger earlier, my bodyguard unconsciounsly sitting at my side. I wanted to reach for Gabriel's protege and shake her until she woke up, but then I risked being seen awake and God only knew what would've happened then. Instead I decided to focus on the low music coming from the speakers, Alex Clare damning someone's eyes while trying to convince himself that he could do what he wanted. I liked that song better when Etta James sang it, but then I was in no position to argue at that moment. Unlike Alex, I was not in complete control of the situation. Also, I was perfectly aware of the fact that my thoughts were completely irrelevant at the moment, but it was the only thing stopping me from doing something stupid that I knew I would've regreted.
"Good job, Robert. Bring them to me." The voice coming from the phone sounded oddly familiar to me and I tried to remember where I had heard it before, but then nausea hit and my insides started churning, my head hurting like a bitch. I must've had a concussion. And unfortunatelly for me, that was also the least of my problems.
"We'll be there in 5, boss." And that must have been when the fun was going to start. I knew that whoever that boss of theirs was, he was one thousand times worse than his two gorillas, driving us to him. My world started spinning, the bump on my head sending horrible pain throughout my entire body. I wished Ginger was awake. I wished she told me what to do to get out of this situation, but she wasn't awake and there was no way out of the mess we had gotten ourselves into. Not one that I could think of anyway.
My eyes slowly closed again, my head ending up resting against the window, my blond hair making me want to cry. I shouldn't have died my hair. I had no idea why I'd done such a thing actually, but now I regreted it bloody much. If I ever got out alive from what was about to happen, I was going back to red. Back to my natural color. Back to my former, normal life.
$$$
Santa Maria Clinic - San Diego, California.
11:45 pm.
The white, clean, hospital room was perfectly quiet except for the constant silent buzzing of a ringing phone. The blond woman sitting at the edge of the bed suddenly stood up, her hands fumbling with her cell before finally connecting the call.
"Thanks for calling me back." The woman paused waiting for the person at the other end of the line to speak. "I know I shouldn't be calling you, but I think we have a problem." That had her interlocutor's entire attention, his heavy breathing audible over the phone. "I think you should come here." The line went dead, the woman placing the phone back onto the nightstand and climbing back into her bed. She was worried and she had all the right to be so.
Something had happened to her friend. Her gut was telling her so.