In the excitement of everything that has happened in such a short time, and mainly Justin's undying support, there hasn't been time to sulk around in the subconscious of my mind, or get lost in the fog that I call my thoughts. There's nothing to be worried or anxious about, even the idea of college has started to grow on me, also, mainly due to Justin.
"You'll be great. It's be awesome. I'll pick you up on weekends and take you to Busch Gardens, we'll probably make out a little..." Justin told me one day, during our outing at Wakulla Springs. The hottest month of year had yet to make its arrival, yet continued to tease us during the muggy days of July. The water was still too cold for me, and Justin was about waist deep and still walking. "Come on Lyric, and yeah, you said you haven't been there in forever, shit this water is cold," he said shuffling through the water, nearly avoiding the kids splashing around us. "Sounds nice, I guess. Whatcha got against Disney—JUSTINNN!" I screeched and tripped in my haste to back far away from Justin's wet body. He was drenched, his hair plastered to his head, and a mischievous glint in his eyes. Damn. He looked really hot. But damn. I was pissed. "What the hell! Ughhh, I'm gonna kill you." Justin was bent over at his waist and I knew why. Onlookers apparently found me funny too. "You...are barely...even...wet," Justin managed to choke out before snickering. Though he was right, my entire lower half was wet enough for me to catch a chill when the wind picked up.
And if that wasn't enough, he plucked my glasses off with dripping hands, picked me up firefighter style, and sent both of us deep into the blue, clear, and freezing waters. If he wanted a death wish granted, he got his answer. I moved to hug my body tightly as I slipped from Justin's embrace and got out of the water. "Are you crazy!" I yelled back at him, grabbing my glasses and heading back to our spot in the sun. I grabbed my towel and started drying off when Justin walked up to the grassy spot. "That's what college should be like. You just gotta jump right in." I stared at Justin for a long, hot minute before reaching to the ground to chuck something at him. Immediately he flinched, covering his privates. "Okay okay, I'm sorry!" I threw back my arm as if I was going to let the rock in my hand fly, then stopped, just as suddenly as I had picked up the rock. As mad as I was, the Florida sun was doing its job and Justin had a point, even if only half of me agreed in that moment.
"You're so beautiful when you take mercy on my ass," Justin breathed out, but I noticed his hand never left its position. "I'm not gonna attack you," I laughed, and easily let the rock slip from my hand. Then I had a second thought, and when the heat started rushing to my cheeks, I quickly fought to think of something else. I dropped to the blanket and started running my fingers along the inside pockets of my backpack, looking for sun lotion, but mostly to give myself something to do. When Justin didn't sit down next to me, nor move his hand, my thoughts were confirmed. "I'm gonna pee," I blurted, and ran off to the bathrooms to relieve my emotions as opposed to anything else. That was a particular conversation I didn't want to have to even think of having. Instead of going to the bathrooms, I made a beeline for the building that served ice cream, other foods, candy, and various souvenirs. I had pack a lunch for me and Justin, so the only possible thing I would get was ice cream. After a suitable amount of time had passed, I walked back to our spot near the water, Justin's gaze following my path.
He sat up on the blanket, and I keeled down next to him, pulling out our sandwiches. "How was the bathroom?" Justin asked me, and I kept my eyes focused on anywhere but him. "I took one of the water bottles I'd packed and whacked him on the shoulder. "Am I beautiful still when I beat the crap out of ya?" I figured the best way to pass my mental storm would be to push through. I got us both giggling, and then took out a bag of potato chips for us to share. "Have you been eating the chips?" I asked. Justin shrugged, even though we both knew he had. I ran my hand across his still damp hair, more to make it less ruffled, and also to try and sneak my fingers near his ear lobe to flick it, but he caught me by the arm and pulled me into him. Instead of a near concussion, our lips actually met, no thanks to me. His comment after my splash attack flooded through my ears as if I was hearing it fresh again, and when we pulled away slightly, he leaned next to my ear and whispered, "Forget Busch Gardens, we can make out here." Laughing, I pushed him away and stuff his sandwich in his mouth. "Make out with that!" I took the bag of potato chips and hid it behind my back, but it didn't stop him from poking my sides.
Lying awake in bed, I trace the outline of my ceiling fan with my fingers, and with my other arm, I clamp it tightly against my stomach, hoping that will stop the churning. It doesn't help, and that's when I realize it's all in my head. It's always in my head. I turn my head to read the time on the clock in my room. Three thirteen. I turn back and continue to trace the shape. Suddenly I feel dizzy and sick. Racing off to the bathroom, I don't even bother feeling around for the light, using my memory to make it to the toilet. When I dry heave and nothing comes out, I sort of chuckle to myself. The minute I stand up to go back to bed is when I vomit up everything I ate for dinner. Well this is new. And scary. After one round, there's nothing left, and I flick on the light, careful not to stare into the toilet bowl. I flush, wash my hands, and climb back into bed, but this unknown sickness has now travelled and spread all over. I'm just about sick of these restless nights when suddenly turn on my side and hear my phone buzz. Reaching for it I unlock it and read the message.
Can't sleep...thinking of u
I smile into the darkness, instantly feeling comforted.
that makes 2 of us