I spent the next half hour waiting for Liam to come back. I tried to listen to the conversation my family was having with Dr. Jones but I could only hear when my mother raised her voice. My mind started to wonder...
How would I kill myself when I got out? Overdosing obviously didn't work out too well. And I am still very pissed off at my parents for acting like they care when they have been feeding problems to my depression. I am not thrilled Liam is here, but I do know that he'll help me. he has too. I just know that my mother is going to try to ship me off somewhere for crazy people. She'll listen to Liam though, since he has always been the favorite.
A nurse knocked on my door and quietly came into my room. She took my blood pressure and listened to my heart and all that shit. After she was done with the medical exam she sat down and looked at me.
"How are you feeling, Sweety?" She asked. Oh I don't know, since I just tried to kill myself.
I shrugged, not making eye contact with her. my eyes wandered and I glanced at a clock on the wall. It read 4;37 pm. I bet they were going to feed me soon. I cleared my throat, and she raised her eyebrows concerned.
"Actually, I am really tired. is there anything I can get for sleep?" I asked. Then I can sleep through dinner. I can't eat, not now.
"Oh, of course Hun." She left my room and shortly came back with some liquid stuff in a bag. She hooked it up to my IV bag, and I was soon drifting away once again.
A couple of hours later I woke up to see Dr. Jones cleaning my arm. He didn't notice I was awake yet, so I just watched him. He was very caring in the way he was treating me, very gentle. He looked up and smiled softly when he knew I was awake.
"Hey, Kiddo, how're you feeling?" I shrugged, which caused the stitches in my arm to sting. I winced, and Dr. Jones noticed.
"You want something for the pain?" He asked, his eyes meeting mine. I shook my head and sighed.
"I think I've been drugged up enough the past 24 hours," I stated, and he cracked a smile.
"True, but if you have any discomfort just let me know okay?" I nodded, still kind of out of it.
"Your brother wants to come see you, is that okay?" He asked, and I once again nodded.
He left, and shortly after Liam appeared. He walked in gingerly, and looked gently in my eyes.
"Baby Sis..," His voice trailed off. I looked at him, and all the hurt his face showed.
"What?" He sat down next to me, his hard eyes looking into mine.
"What happened to you?" I shrugged.
To be honest, I was still very traumatized by this entire event. I mean, I tried to kill myself and those feelings didn't go away just because I survived. I'm traumatized because I survived. I am as alive as ever, and I feel like I'm going to burst. I want to scream and cry but I can't because then they really would lock me up.
Liam sighed. "Fine, don't tell me anything." I looked at my hands, and then back up at him.
"What did you guys talk about? Are they sending me away?" I asked gently. He sighed and put his face in his hands. Then he stood up and paced around my room.
"Fuck, Scar, what the hell happened? Why did you do this?" Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, but I couldn't tell him. I bit my lip, looking down, and shook my head. Liam sat back down in the chair next to me.
"Why won't you open up to me?" I shook my head, looking him in the eyes.
"I can't." I whispered, my voice shaking.
We sat in silence for a while, and after a bit Liam started to sing to me. I used to get nightmares and shit so it would calm me down. I sat up after he ended a song.
"What did you talk about with Dr. Jones?" I asked. He bit his lip as I waited.
"I'll tell you if you tell me why you hurt yourself. They found scars all over your body, so we know you harmed yourself before you attempted to.." He couldn't finish. I stared at him simply.
"You left. Now tell me." A hurt expression came across his face but he answered anyway.
"Okay, so you can either go to rehab, thats what Mom wanted, or you can come with me on tour for a few months. Since you won't talk to me, you have to either have to see a therapist or talk to one of the boys. Okay?" I nodded.
"Okay, when do we leave?" He smiled widely.
"You get out of here tomorrow, so then. Do you want to see Mom and Dad before you leave or not?"
I shook my head. I never wanted to see them again. I opened my mouth to say something but changed my mind.
"What were you going to say?" Liam asked curious. I shook my head. Opening up to him is something I forgot to do a while ago.
*The Next Day*
"Well Scarlet," Dr. Jones said. "I'm glad to say you can be released today, but I want to discuss some things before you go."
I nodded for him to go on.
"Are you planning on harming yourself again when you get out of here?" I shrugged. I most likely will, but Ican't tell him that. He sighed, but accepted my answer.
"Scarlet, if you want to stay alive you need to eat. Your body isn't your enemy."
"The whole reason I'm in here is because I don't want to be alive, so that doesn't really help." He nodded and started to leave my room for good.
"Wait," I called, and he turned around surprised. "Um, thank you." I looked down. He really had helped me even though I didn't want it. He smiled.
"Anytime Scarlet. now don't come visit me again! Stay healthy!" And he left.
"Are you excited?" Liam asked at the airport, smiling a mile wide. I nodded and smiled, happy to see him so excited.
On the plane, we acted like we did before he left. We joked around, listened to music, gossiped about celebrities, and laughed. Although his smile faltered every time he glanced at my arm, although it was covered by my long sleeves.
I started to get really nervous in the car on the way to his flat. All of his band mates were waiting for us, to meet me. Liam looked over and noticed me shaking.
"Hey," He wrapped me in a hug. "They will love you, okay?" I shook my head.
"That's not it." I said, suddenly feeling really insecure. Liam turned his head slightly, confused. I had to hold in my laughter because it made him look like a puppy.
"I...do they know? About what..happened?" I asked, pulling at my sleeves. He grimaced.
"Well, yeah. I had to tell them why you were staying with us. I didn't tell them much though, because you won't allow me to know." I nodded.
"Do I have to talk about it?" He shook his head and relief spread over me.
"No, but its not good to hold in your feelings. You should talk to one of them, Scar, if you won't talk to me." His voice sounded hurt when he said that, but I ignored it because we pulled into his driveway.
As we entered his house, I was welcomed by 4 fit lads waiting by the door impatiently.
"Is this her, Liam?" Niall asked. Louis hit him on the head.
"Who else would it be? HI love!" And he pulled me in to a really tight hug, which although I enjoyed it hurt my arm. It turns out I cut it a lot worse than I thought. Louis felt me wince and immediately let go.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Liam gave him a look to calm down and he stepped away. Niall hugged me next.
"Hi, Scarlet!" He said cheerfully and I said hi back to him.
"You are really beautiful, Scarlet." Harry said cheekily. He's lying, I said to myself. I stood there not knowing what to say, and Liam thankfully interrupted.
"Back off Harry, she's sixteen." Harry put his hands up in surrender.
Zayn walked up and softly wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm glad you're still here," He whispered into my ear. We separated which was embarrassing because I'm sure my face was red.
"Are you hungry, Scarlet? I'm starved!" Niall said. I started to refuse but Liam gave me a look.
"Yes, she'll have something." He looked at me while he answered, and I slumped in a seat at his dinner table. Liam sat next to me and took my hand.
"I'm going to be annoying and you're going to hate me but it's because I love you." I nodded reluctantly, knowing he was going to make me gain weight.
"I love you too, big bro." And he smiled.
Then Niall plopped a huge sandwich right in front of me. And I'm not just saying this. The sandwich had an assortment of pretty much everything in it. All the boys eyes widened except Niall, who ate his sandwich happily.
"Jesus Niall, I don't think her stomach will be able to handle much after..." Louis realised what he said, and his eyes widened. "I am so sorry, Scarlet! I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine." I forced a smile. Just pretend you're okay, and they'll think you're okay.
I ended up eating a good amount of my food, and after I finished I excused myself to go throw up- I mean to the bathroom. When I went to close the door someones foot was in the way. Zayn's. I squinted my eyes.
"What are you doing?" I asked rudely. He smiled cheerful.
"Li said one of us has to stay with you while you go to the bathroom so you don't throw up."
Fucking Liam. And fucking Zayn for listening to him.
"I'm fine." I stammered. Zayn nodded.
"Oh I'm sure you are, you know, since you just tried suicide." I glared at him and stalked off to my room. I'll just work dinner off later.
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," I said. Zayn walks in, his hands in his pockets.
"What do you want?" I said, starting to stretch for my workout. There were probably so many calories in my system right now.
"I wanted to apologize.." His voice trailed off, "It was rude of me."
"Okay," I huffed, starting to run in place. Zayn looked at me confused.
"What're you doing?" He asked.I continued to run.
"Burning off my calor- I'm exercising." I rushed. He raised an eyebrow and left my room. I ran in private for about thirty seconds until he came back, with Liam. I stopped in place when I saw the two in my door way.
"Scar, working off all your calories isn't allowed." I sat down on my bed.
"Okay," I fake smiled. Liam smiled back at me and messed up my hair with his hand.
"And I think we both know you're going to wait until we're sleeping to start working out again." My heart started racing.
"So.." I said, not denying it. Zayn and Liam smiled widely.
"So that means SLEEPOVER!" Ugh.
"Fine. Let's go Liam." I started to walk but they stopped me. Liam rubbed his neck with his hand.
"Well, actually, I am kind of meeting up with my girlfriend later-"
"To have sex," Zayn interupted, making Liam blush. I smiled lightly.
"So you and Zayn are having a sleepover." He finished quickly and left to his room.
I stood in the hallway with Zayn, and he looked at me cautiously. I sighed.
"Lets go." I said, and he threw me over his shoulder.
This is where I almost started to hyperventilate.
"Stop! I'm going to crush you." I yelled. He laughed.
"Scarlet, you are the lightest girl I've ever held. Trust me, I've got you."
We awkwardly got into his bed, and he put his arm around me.
"You are going to be just fine, Scar." He said. "I'll protect you." And then he fell asleep.
And then I lay awake in bed all night thinking about what he said.