I wonder
Why life seems so cold
These days
Why everything seems so old
These days
Time to go your separate ways
C H A P T E R 21
'Jesse?' We were on the way back from the cafe. It was only the second time I had spoken aloud to him since the cupboard incident.
'Yes?'
'I was just wondering... why... why you're Dad left...'
His eyes flashed, and for a moment I wished I hadn't asked.
'He left because he was a bastard. Because he didn't care 'bout no one but himself.'
'Oh...'
He sighed. 'Sorry, it's a tough subject, and I haven't really told anyone before... I... I had a brother, once. He was called Michael. And when he was seven, he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia...'
'Oh...' I said again. I didn't know what to say and I didn't quite understand what it had to do with his father. Still, I was interested in his past, very much, so I let him continue.
'It was around five years ago, so I was about twelve, when we found out. Mum was distraught, wouldn't stop crying, barely got any sleep, but at least she tried, she tried to be hopeful, she tried to lighten up the hospital rooms and doctors’ appointments. But Dad, he dealt with it differently. It was like he didn't care anymore. He resigned himself to the fact that Mikey was going to... to die...' his voice broke on the last word. 'So he spent less and less time with him, with all of us... Before Michael was diagnosed, I think we all knew something was going on, that he was cheating on Ma, well, except Michael, he was too young, but even he knew something was up. But the day Mikey died, while Mum and me were sitting crying next to his hospital bed, Dad was in Scotland with his new mistress. His own son, and he... he...'
'Oh...' I said helplessly; what could I do? I was rubbish at comforting people.
'Still, Ma kicked him out pretty quick, and he got himself a place in London... Not quite sure where, and to be honest I don't really care.'
'Oh.'
Josh sat with us the next day at school, and at first it was a little awkward, but Lilly seemed to be oblivious, and we ended up laughing like this was what we did every day. Josh was funny, but shy, and quite quiet. I got the sense that he had a lot of pride, and was worried that we wouldn't like him because he was gay- but to be honest, none of us really cared. I guess it was just who he was- like part of his personality or something. It sounds a little weird but...
We got on fine, the seven of us, and Jesse pushed aside previous grudges- with a little help from me and mine- after Josh apologized.
Luke and Angus made Jokes about us, and Josh, but Lilly punched them enough times it was almost aversion therapy- and they ended up realizing that 'joking about us or Josh basically equals evil punches in the crown jewels.' Luke was hanging out with another guy, Theo, who had been there, that day in the woods, and Josh said that Theo was one of the reason Luke was suddenly being so hostile.
But life was, it seemed, finally looking up, in some ways, more than others.
Daniel started coming to school after Josh and Emma had been sitting with us for a few weeks. The days passed quickly, James' now steady girlfriend Emma, sat with us too. She was really nice, shy, quiet, and it was odd, because the people I hung out with got into trouble so often, and were known throughout school as the bad kids. Emma though, was a straight A student, and had never gotten a detention in her life. still, she got on well with the rest of us, especially Lilly and I. It was odd, her and James being together, and when he wasn't with her he was loud and obnoxious, but when Emma sat with us he was quiet, more sensitive. He heard no end of it from the boys, though as soon as Jesse started to join in they teased him about not barely having got into any trouble since I got here, but that was just a coincidence. And Sam too, he was whipped, though he'd never admit it.
Josh came and sat with us every day, he ignored the schools comments, and if anyone called him a fairy he'd just bow, and thank them, or if someone, like Luke had a couple of days after the incident in the woods, called him a fag, he'd just yell back something like 'like I haven't heard that before- more original please!' It was funny to watch him get the better of all those homophobes.
It was a Monday morning, when we met Daniel...
Jesse and I were walking into school, and the cool wind blew my hair in my face. It was cold, though late April, and I shivered and bowed my head to stop my eyes tearing. We reached the arts block, where our form room was and went in, glad to get out of the wind and cold. I rubbed my arms, and sat in at my desk next to Jesse's.
First period passed in a flash, as did second, and then at break I hung out with James, Emma, Sam , Lilly, Jesse and Josh as normal. We all got the pleasure of watching Lilly beat up a girl who had decided to push me in the corridor, well along with say a few extremely horrid things to Josh, but he was used to it. Not that that makes it right or anything.
But when third period arrived, I felt this feeling, crawling up my spine. Like I was being watched. I tried to ignore it, asking Sir if I could go to the loo 'cause of girl problems' just to try and escape. The relief seemed short lived. I left, and was thankful, but I couldn't take more than five minutes and soon the fresh air of outside was back to being the stuffy dusty air of the Math department. I reached the door of my classroom, and as I opened it, the feeling came back. I looked around the class, and then I saw a new boy. He had dark hair, and surprisingly pale features. There was just something about him, that creeped me out. And then his eyes met mine. And it all went black.
**
Where did I know those eyes from? They were dark, haunting almost.
I was walking home that night, from school. Levi was at swimming practice, for school, so I had to go home on my own. But I didn't mind. I gave me time to think, and prapare myself for my next encounter with him. I pictured his fist flying to wards my face, and his foot coming into contact with my gut. I flinched at the image, or memory, or what ever it was, it wasn't pleasant.
But then suddenly, as I walked down a backstreet to the flat my so-called father had got us, suddenly I felt someone’s gaze on my back. I shivered slightly, and carried on walking, subtly checking to if anyone was around. I couldn't see anyone though and it was getting dark, so I just kept moving, hurrying now to get out of the cold and get my beating over with.
Dad had enough money to buy us a mansion in every capital city in the world, you know. He was a world famous business man and billionaire. In fact, as far as I knew, he already had two houses in Rome, one in New York, and a condo in Florida. I think he was planning on purchasing a villa jut on the outskirts of Seville, in Spain. So why he never actually lived there, was a mystery to me. I could understand that he hated me, that he wanted me to go through hell, but he could just as easily live there and make my life horrid all the same. Not that it was any of my business, I guess. I was just his slave, and he would never consult me about anything, or even talk to me if he wasn't drunk or beating me.
I felt the familiar tingle and checked behind me again. As far as I could see there was no one there, but out of the corner of my eye as I turned back around, a shadow seemed to dance at the edge of my vision.
I was nearly home my then, and I started to walk a little faster, until I heard the footsteps.
I could hear that they were trying to keep in time with mine, but it was failing miserably, and the click of the soles of shoes on the pavement was almost deafening in the silence of the evening.
I looked behind me once more, catching sight of a figure, their face masked, only their eyes were visible. Those oh- so- familiar eyes. And so I broke into a swift run, no longer caring about the night of beatings to come, just wanting to get away.
The man didn't chase me, or follow any further, he just stopped. And when I looked back, I caught one last sight of those wild, ruthless eyes.
**
I woke up, what I guessed was barley seconds later, a few minutes at the most. I was on the floor of the classroom, a few students crowded around me, the rest standing up to get a better look.
'Move away, kids, give her some space.' Said Mr Kelly. 'Someone go and fetch Jesse here, would you? You'll have to talk to the office secretary to see what room he's in; I haven't the faintest.'
It seemed the teachers gossiped too. Everyone knew I lived with him now.
I stood, and shook my head quickly. I ran over to my bag, and took out my board.
I'm fine, don't worry. Em is here anyway, to help if I need it.
I showed Mr Kelly, and he nodded, calling back the student that was already half way out the door.
'If you're sure.' He said. 'But I think you'd better go to the medical room, just to double check. Daniel can take you, maybe he'll find his way round school easier because of it.'
I looked at where he was pointing, and saw that 'Daniel' was also the new boy with creepy eyes. I felt my eyes widen and my lips part slightly in panic.
'Is that alright, Kat?'
I nodded, faking a smile.
Daniel and I left the class room.
'So, what happened back there?' he asked.
I shrugged, but he carried on staring so I wrote.
I faint sometimes, you know, have panic attacks. I'm fine though.
'Why'd you have one?'
I don't really know. I just saw your eyes, and they reminded me of something... I shook my head to banish the memory, and then looked closer. To be honest I don't even know why, they are a different colour than what they reminded me of, and a slightly different shape to. Sorry if I creeped you out.
'Don't worry, I get that sometimes.' He smiled and I smiled back. ' You've got nice eyes you know...'
I looked at him in alarm.
'Don't worry, I'm just messing with you. I'm gay.' he said.
I put my finger to my lips. This school is not entirely understanding... you know, to people that are gay. Homophobic, some might say. At least some people are. I have a friend here who's gay and he gets picked on a lot.
'Don't worry, I don't care. Had that stuff at my old school. I just dealt with it... So...' He looked down at my board. 'Why don't you talk?'
Long story, but basically... I have a... dodgy... past. To say the least.
He dropped it understandingly, knowing I didn't really want to talk about it. Then he grinned.
'So, how’s about you introduce me to your friend?'
I smiled back. Sure! Come sit with us at lunch! Ooh! Josh will love you!
Yup, that's me. The match maker.