Black clouds started to cover the blue sky above me. Even nature wasn't pleased with my behavior.
Surrounding me were eyes filled with shock. Standing a few feet away from me were my parents. They were staring at me in apprehension—terror and disappointment filled their faces. Sunny stood there to see what I would do, my brother was muttering something inaudible and the other boys were staring with their mouths wide open.
I was already a coward in their eyes.
That didn't matter now.
Jace was looking straight at me, his eyes were blades that could tear my chest open and rip the truth out of me. I tried to walk backwards but a wall of people blocked my way. No one was on my side. Jace was always the victor when I was his opponent.
My head spun. There was a vibrating sound in my ears and my sight got blurry. My heart was beating so fast. Everything was dreamlike and I wished none of this was true.
"Jordan, come here!" Dan shouted.
The pressing crowd backed away. A straight pathway formed in front of me. In the center were the Alpha and my mate. I stood frozen in place until the boys pushed me from behind. I trembled a few feet away from them and had no choice but to walk forward.
Jace was breathing rapidly like his chest was about to explode. His face was ablaze.
He jumped toward me and Dan stopped him before he could do anything.
"Calm down," Dan said.
"Let me go!" Jace screamed in response. "It's him, Dan! I know it! He's the one! He's the one!"
The crowd gasped. They continued with their whisperings and mutterings as I stood here anticipating death.
"I know, I know," Dan muttered. "Maybe Jordan has something to say. Jordan, please . . . come forward, son."
I was sobbing as I moved closer. My face felt metallic and sturdy, and I felt oddly invincible. My breathing was starting to even out again and I could feel some relief in my chest in realizing that there was nothing left to hide anymore.
Now I had to face the consequences.
I stood on the ground, about three feet away from Dan and Jace. This was the closest distance I could afford to give them. Dan was still holding Jace by his side—if he hadn't the guy probably would have lunged forward and eaten me alive by now.
"Jordan," he said, "you're the one who bears the other half of Jace's soul, aren't you?"
I couldn't answer him.
I felt Jace's warmth when he sprinted forward.
"He asked you a fucking question, you coward!" he screamed. "Answer him!"
I couldn't deny that everything about him was beautiful. Behind the rage in his eyes I could see his vulnerability. Suddenly I wanted to reach out and touch him. I died to feel his skin, to engulf myself in his warmth, to feel every piece of him on me. I wanted to beg on my knees for an apology.
He ruins your life mercilessly, Jordan. Remember that.
"You better answer Dan now!" he screamed.
He held a fistful of my shirt collar in his hand as he pulled me toward him in full force until my eyes met his. Dan wasn't strong enough to keep him from moving anymore. Everyone's eyes were on us like houseflies around an overflowing trash bin. I tried to breathe evenly and not think about the crowd staring at us.
I kept my sight fixed on him. I refused to be defeated.
"You'll regret this, Jordan," he said. "I ask you once again! Tell me the truth! Tell me that you're that fucking coward who hides—"
"Yes!" I screamed. "I am the one. I am that fucking coward. Satisfied?"
The adrenaline rush numbed my brain. All I could think was don't back down, you can't back down. Sweat dribbled down my face—at least they weren't tears.
I panted heavily when Jace didn't respond to what I had said.
"Go on," I said. "Make me look like a coward. That's what you always do, anyway. Isn't that true, Jace? Huh? Do these people know what you've done to me? All these years?"
He remained silent.
"If they knew how you behaved, they'll understand. God knows why I don't want you, Jace. I don't want you in my life!"
That's it, Jordan. Back away and you're done.
Jace pulled my collar again, harder this time, and his lips were on mine.
Suddenly his mouth was the only thing that mattered. I could feel his teeth, his tongue, and his lips . . . it felt like he wanted to devour me. But aside from that, I sensed a spark, like an exploding firework in my chest.
His mouth eased up on mine and the world started to spin.
This is my first kiss.
His lips were made for mine. I wanted to do it again. I wanted his mouth on mine. I wanted the warmth of his lips to stay permanently on my skin. I wanted to remain like this forever.
A kiss between mates seals the two halves of their souls together . . . if a mate is too afraid to tell their mate with words about the destiny that is meant for the both of them, one should seal their lips on their mate's. Once their mouth touches their mate's, the mate bond will send impulses to the mate's brain and the two of them will bond and seal as one, together forever. Immediately, the unknowing mate will understand—these were the words from the Immortal Guide—I'd read them somewhere before and it echoed in my head loudly now.
I felt it.
I was falling deeply in love with him.
He's winning and you're losing, Jordan.
I pushed his chest as hard as I could and my fist flew toward his face. The chaos returned among the crowd.
I stared at my hands. They were bruised badly.
Jace's nose bled as he fell to the ground. The boys surrounded him and the rest of the pack was staring at me like I was an uncontrollable monster. Dan was too stunned to make a move towards me.
"He is my mate, Dan. He is," Jace shouted in pain.
I never thought it was possible for me to hit Jace Andrews this hard before. Now he was laying on the ground, bleeding and broken. The green grass was starting to turn monochromatic—this usually happened to werewolves when distressing things screw with their heads.
There was no other way.
I ran.
I pushed through crowds of people and headed towards the backyard and jumped over the tall fence. The screams and shouts from the crowd started to fade away as I roamed deeper in the woods.
I forced air into my lungs and ran further into the woods, trying to use all my energy so I wouldn't need to stop. I was too afraid to stay still. I needed to sprint as fast as possible to let all of this mix of excessive fear and exhaustion out.
"Jordan, don't you dare—"
Jace.
I turned around and saw him a few feet away behind me.
I tripped on a twig and rolled down a hill. Maybe I would die, but did it matter? I was already the biggest coward in their eyes. I was the first boy to commit the crime of hiding from his mate.
My thoughts stopped when my head hit something and the world around me turned black.
* * * *
I was standing in the middle of an open space, and the sun was setting ahead of me. I didn't know exactly where I was, but about ten feet away from me was an edge of a cliff, and beyond it was a full panorama of the neighborhood our pack resided on; La Cove.
No one knew why our late former Alpha, Raoul Sanchez, named the neighborhood that way, but, as I stood here alone, I realized how beautiful this place was it wasn't surprising mortals wanted to move here. La Cove might have looked like any ordinary human neighborhood to them, but most were naive to the fact that half-human, half-wolf creatures resided within the whole territory.
Just when I thought about him, I heard footsteps on crunching dried leaves behind me. I turned around and noticed Raoul emerging out of the trees, grinning at me. I was very young when he died, but I was sure it was him standing before me now. My mother told me he'd suffered a deadly disease. As a remarkable architect, Raoul had designed and paid to build this neighborhood during his final days, awarding the houses and space to the whole pack he'd led for almost two decades.
I didn't know if I should smile, and I was pretty certain this wasn't real. So I just stood and remained in silence.
"Jordan," he called my name.
"Raoul?"
"Be brave, son," he said. "Hold on and believe."
I was about to respond when the vision of him disappeared, and the world spun so fast that the sky turned pitch-black in a flash. A shot of agony bewildered inside my head, and I found myself screaming when I woke up.
I opened my eyes to pure darkness. I was staring straight at the gloomy night sky. Stars twinkled and gleamed—it was the only source of light. My heart was racing at the speed of light.
For a short second I didn't know where I was, but then I remembered tripping and Jace had joined me in the forest. That single memory intertwined causing me to recall all the events that had happened today. The gathering, the crowd, the eyes, the shout, the arguments—everything came back to me, boom, boom, boom. My brain sent impulses to my heart and it continued beating fast. The anxiety of being alone in the forest was one thing but being lost here was another. Maybe I was lost here. I didn't want to return either—I was pretty sure I could track my scent back to the neighborhood if I shifted.
I wasn't ready for a confrontation.
Jordan Patterson was going to be a name people would always remember. He's the coward, they might say. He's the first in the pack hiding from his mate.
I got up on my feet and realized there was moisture on my face. I had been crying as I ran into the forest—I hadn't realized this until now.
My chest felt heavy and I decided to let all the tears out. As I walked I tried to scream out all the pain I was feeling.
"It's not fair!" I shrieked. "You don't know who he is! He's a motherfucker! He's an asshole!"
My voice echoed in the forest gloomily. I heard crickets chirping and owls hooting in the dark. Maybe they understood me.
If nature really did understand me, it knew I was lying to myself. It wasn't because Jace was an asshole to me or because of what he did to me . . . I knew I had always been use to him being a jerk. The thought of me falling in love with him was the thing that scared me the most.
Of course I would be falling in love with him—it was inevitable for mates.
I couldn't believe it. It was happening now.
"Please," I cried more as I let my knees fell to the ground. "Jace, please . . ." I muttered his name.
I wanted him. It wasn't just right. The thought of craving him was ridiculous. He was that guy, the guy that girls swooned for. He could make anyone fall for him and the last person I thought that would be was me. I didn't want to be the next person who would be head over heels for him.
The thought of hitting him till he bled was both torturing and satisfying. I had always wanted to stand up to him, tell him to stop calling me names, scream at him to leave me alone and to fuck off. On the other hand, I wanted him to look at me and kiss me again . . . like he had.
I jumped in shock when a hand gripped my shoulder.
I turned around and recognized those sparkling eyes in the dark. It was still full of fury and vulnerability. Then there was the pair of lips—luscious, tender, the lower was fuller than the upper one. I had kissed those lips not too long ago.
"Get out!" I screamed. "Go away and leave me alone!"
Surprisingly, he chuckled and let out an evil smile. Then those feelings returned—I was eleven years old again, afraid he might physically hurt me with his humongous physical build.
I pressed those feelings away and started at him by hitting his chest as hard as possible with my fists. It was like punching a rock; my hands throbbed as an aftereffect. Jace remained steady in the dark. His grin getting wider—the starlight was bright enough to let me see his expression.
I hit him again and he caught my wrist. He pulled me toward him until his face was less than an inch from mine.
"You were crying out for me," he whispered. "I'm here now."
I pulled myself away. He was starting the game all over again and I promised myself I wouldn't lose.
"Fuck you," I cursed. "Get the hell away from me, you—"
"Wow, you really are a coward," he said. He laughed before adding, "This is the weirdest emotional reaction I've ever seen from someone that had fallen for me."
"Shut up!" I screeched.
"I've never seen this before," he continued. He took my hand and slid it under the fabric of his tank top.
I balled up my hand just as my hand touched his bare skin.
"Why don't you just touch me . . . like this?"
My head was burning with pure anger when I pushed him so hard we fell down to the ground. I got him under me and I seized the opportunity by punching his face as hard as I could.
"You fucker," I said. "I won't let you put a finger on me anymore."
I got up on my feet and put my sole on his tummy. I attempted a kick when he grabbed my leg and I fell on my back.
Then Jace was above me, sitting on my torso, his weigh pinning me down.
I tried to hit him as hard as I could with my free hand. Just as I was about to punch his mouth he seized my wrist tightly and bent forward, his lips approaching my face.
"Jordan, this will be easy . . ." he muttered.
No, I screamed. No. I won't back down now.
With a scream I pushed his body with all the energy left in me. We ended up rolling down a hill, balled up against each other. I kicked whenever I could. I tried not to let anything force me from stopping. My hands and my knees were attacking my mate again and again, refusing to let go.
It was too dark but all I knew was his lips were all over mine again.
The warmth of his breath was too overwhelming my whole body relaxed.
"Stop," I panted, but Jace forced my lips shut with his lips. Truth be told, I didn't want him to stop; the feel of his skin on my body was euphoric, escalating my nerves and adrenaline, and I wanted more of it. He sucked the air out of me, returning it with his own. His hands were pressing against my palms. He seized me on the ground, not allowing me to move when his lips traveled around my face and down to my neck.
"Jace, I can't . . ." I said, but he ignored me. His lips were now on my collarbone down to my chest. His hands slid under my thin T-shirt, feeling every inch of my skin, making my heart hammered faster in my chest. His touch drained all the energy out of me.
My mate is here for me.
"You're not allowed to tell me to stop," he whispered. "After what you've done to me, you can't tell me what to do."
He continued kissing me. It was gentle and fierce at the same time. It was too overwhelming I was certain it would kill me. Nobody had ever made me feel this way.
A vision of the night spun around me, my head was throbbing wildly again.
"You're dead, Patterson," Jace said to me—I could hear laughter in his voice. "I'm paying you back for what you've done to me. You're dead."
I couldn't open my eyes anymore. I could only feel as his hands slid under my arms as he lifted me with my face against his chest. The smell of his body poured all over me, driving me crazy and hot.
Shit, wake up and run, Jordan. Wake up now!
I had to accept it again. In Round Two, Jace was again the victor.
I will have to work harder next time, I guess . . .
* * * *
I wasn't really awake, but I did realize my head was on someone's arm.
I was by my mate's side on a bed. I could recognize his scent now. I was too dizzy to open my eyes so I could only feel as his hand lingered on my body, rubbing my head. I felt him kissing me, again and again, very gently but full of pure passion.
"My mate," I heard he muttered in my drowsiness. "I'm with my mate. Finally."
The happiness in his voice sounded so genuine. Why wouldn't I just let it stay there?
I could only hear as he chuckled to himself. "It's you, Jordan. How could I've never noticed that before? You were so into me."
No, I'm not, my head screamed, but, of course, it was inaudible to Jace. He continued brushing his lips over my skin and I could do nothing but to snuggle deeper into his arms. He felt so comfortable; I could sleep in his arms like this forever.
"You'll come around soon," he said.
That was the last thing I heard from him before I drifted off into a deep sleep.
* * * *
He's kissing me . . . his lips touch my chest . . . down to my tummy . . . into my—
I woke up abruptly to a weird terror that was creeping in my chest.
Things clicked altogether—what happened yesterday. Then a name popped up in my head: Jace.
I blinked painfully to the brightness of the morning light. I focused my sight to a sense of weird familiarity.
I knew this bedroom.
I was on a bed, to my left was a small lamp table with a framed picture of Jace Andrews. Posters of soccer and football stars were all over the wall. To my right were a window pane and a study desk with piles of papers and books.
I can't believe it! I spent a night in Jace's bed!
Then I realized what happened yesterday.
"I'm paying you back for what you've done to me. You're dead."
The words echoed in my head, bouncing on and off the walls, flying like bullets that wanted to shoot straight into my heart.
This room was definitely illegal territory for me. Jeff and I had sneaked into this place once. Jeff wanted to secretly borrow his brother's iPod. Jace eventually caught us, and, of course, the victim of his terrifying scowls was me instead of his damn little brother.
"Hey lazy ass, wake up."
When his eyes met mine, all the thoughts running in my head stopped.
"You better get up now," he said. The intended humorous tone still hadn't left his voice. "You got . . . to face reality."
The fury set in again, burning my head.
"Shut up," I groaned.
"Knock it off," he said. "I told you. You can't tell me what to do."
He was laughing as he walked towards me. He sat down beside me on the bed. At his approach I had gotten up immediately, building some distance between us.
His snickers and chuckles annoyed me. But deep inside, I couldn't resist the way his gaze touched all of me. He actually had the ability to control the speed of my racing heart now. That was certainly unfair.
"You're messy," he said as his hand came on top of my head.
"Get off!" I grunted, skimming his hand off my head.
"But you're cute too," he continued.
"You better shut up." I hated that I didn't have any other words to say. Heat kept blossoming on my face.
I should've just stood up and gotten out of the room. Instead, I scooted a few inches away from him, still sitting on the bed beside him. He laughed some more at what I did. I looked away. His eyes lingering on me didn't help.
He slid closer to me. Surprisingly, I froze. I just couldn't move. I didn't exactly know why. At some point I thought Jace had used some cursed spell that could control my mind.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling my head closer to his body.
"I thought you were very cute in your sleep," he said.
Shut up! I'll kill you if you say one more word—
His mouth came close to my ear, "But you're way cuter . . . when you whine."
"I do not whine!" I screamed.
"Really? Okay, you're so adorably cute when you sulk. Is that a truer word for it . . . sulking?" he sniggered.
"Just shut up! Shut up!"
With that being said, I got up from the bed and went straight into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and leaned my back on it, trying to figure out how to breathe right again.
Don't cry, I told myself. It wasn't my first time being teased like that. But now, Jace did it for a different purpose. I knew his flirtatious whisper was intended to make himself irresistible to me, so I couldn't help myself.
I really wanted to kiss him again.
"Dude," he shouted beyond the door, "you're not going to hide in there forever."
"Go away!" I bellowed.
"If you want to clean up, I've put some new clothes on the bed for you. Better wash yourself. You stink," he said and then chuckled again.
Nothing was funny at this moment. Why did everything always seem like a comedy to him?
Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Jordan."
Shit. Why won't he leave? " I told you! Leave me alone!"
"C'mon," he said, "open the door for a while."
"No!" I said.
"I swear I won't do anything to you. Just for a little while."
I remained where I was and waited for him to go.
"Fine. If you don't want to brush your teeth, I don't care. Let your mouth rot—"
I opened the door and shot him a look. When he smiled the heat came flushing back to my cheeks.
"Take this," he said as he handed me a still-in-the-package toothbrush, "the toothpaste is at the sink."
"Thanks," I muttered—it came out as more of a groan. I didn't understand why I was too numb to move. I could only stand and stare at the beautiful sight of my mate.
"Now, go," I grunted.
His lips kissed my cheekbone and my face was an untouchable hot burning rock.
"Fuck," I whispered. "Don't! Now, please . . . go!"
He chuckled as he held his hands up. "Okay."
I slammed the door shut and slid my back down to the floor.
I looked at the scarlet-colored cheeks in the mirror. I couldn't believe it was my face. I definitely looked pale and terrible, the paleness of my skin was so transparent that the blush stood out solidly against my skin tone.
I tried to calm myself down. I told myself repeatedly that I just need to clean up, get out of there, and run to my house and everything would be over.
I brushed my teeth until I realized the T-shirt I wore felt strangely large. My thoughts confirmed I wasn't wearing something I had put on yesterday.
That led me to think of Jace undressing me and changing my clothes.
I stared around in shock when I kicked something under the sink. A green basket had fallen down and dirty clothes spilled out of it. There it was—my dirty clothes, covered in dirt and mud from being in the dark meadow yesterday.
Did Jace change my clothes? Does that mean that he stripped me and he saw me—
Naked?
Oh God!
I tried to drain all the thoughts away and washed my face as quickly as possible, wrath burning in my head. This was technically another bully tactic by Jace, only with a different method. The impact of him kissing me was not that much different from how he had teased and picked on me . . . I hated it.
No, you don't hate it. In fact, you want more.
"Shut up!" I screamed at myself. Oh, great—now I was going insane.
I couldn't linger any longer in this room. Now, I just had to avoid interaction with any of Jace's family members. I was still too angry I might try to lunge at any of them if they tried to ask me why I hid from my own mate. I rinsed my head with cold water as if it could numb my brain and dried myself with a towel hung on the wall.
I took my dirty clothes from the basket and rushed out the door. In the corridor outside Jace's bedroom, I could hear muffled sounds from downstairs. The whole family was waiting for my arrival there.
At the end of the hallway was an open window that would lead me to the backyard if I jumped out. It would hurt a little, of course. But a little pain was worth it—I really did not wish to see Jace's whole family now.
I breathed in deeply and swung one of my legs out of the window. I had to land on the surface of an awning roof about three feet below me.
The surface of the window opening was so sharp my butt throbbed with pain. I couldn't hold on any longer. I closed my eyes and without counting . . . I jumped.
Bang!
When my back hit the awning, a shot of extreme pain ran down my spine. I let out a yell to the impact. The awning roof sloped downwards and I started to slide downwards. My head hit the grass first when I landed.
Footsteps clattered somewhere around me. Great—the happy family had heard the noises now.
"Holy crap, what do you think you're doing, Jordan?" Jeff screamed.
I fought the pain and tried to stand on my feet. Jeff, Lisa and Bob stared at me. The same look that the crowd had on their faces yesterday reflected in their eyes. It was like they were seeing a completely new person when they looked at me.
Rudely enough, I walked past Bob and Lisa and tried to run out onto the neighborhood street.
Jace caught my arm.
"What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed.
I turned to look in another direction and pushed to my side so hardly that he tumbled backwards and I was free to move again. I walked as fast as possible once he was out of my way and got out of the yard and onto the street.
I made my way swiftly towards my house. But, of course, Jace wasn't giving up. I could feel the thumping footsteps he made on the ground. Once again, his hand landed on my shoulder. He grabbed me and pulled me so I was facing him again.
"You're stupider than I thought," he groaned. "What a surprise."
"Get your hands off me!" I said and pushed him with the maximum amount of energy I could extend. But he was strong enough to gain control. His hands reached my arms as he seized me.
"Why? Are you too afraid of falling in love with me? Admit it, Jordan. Stop lying to yourself."
I punched his chest as hard as I could and pushed him over so he could no longer touch me. He let go of his hands and I paced toward him menacingly. I was shivering from pure anger I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"You listen here, motherfucker," I said. "You might think I'm still an easy target for your game. But you're going to see I'm not."
"So you think this is all a game?" Jace let out a gigantic laugh that erupted in the silent empty street. "You're pathetic."
"Everything's a game to you," I hissed at him. "Because you're an asshole."
I decided not to say a word and walked away. Again, his hand gripped me.
"You're really insane," he said.
"Get away from me!" I screamed.
He was still touching me and the thought of it only added oil to the burning inferno in my chest.
"I said, get the hell away from me!"
I attempted a punch and it hit his jaw. He looked stunned by my sudden reaction as he rubbed his chin.
"You really can't help playing it rough, can you?"
Then, he lunged at me like a lion catching its prey.
Two of his large strong hands pushed me backwards and immediately I flew backwards and tripped on the ground facedown.
I let out a loud cry when I felt like I sprained my arm. My head throbbed when it banged on the cement walkway. I lied down on my back and tried to hold my arm so it didn't sprain worse.
Something dripped down my forehead to my nose.
Blood.
Jace's eyes went wide. He remained where he had pushed me, shock filling his face. My vision blurred, my head started to spin.
After a few short seconds, he ran to me.
"J—Jordan, I'm . . . I'm really sorry—"
"Don't you dare touch me!"
I scooted backwards away from him and tried to stand up. I looked at him one last time before I turned around and limped all the way back home.