Chapter Fifteen
❝ a good friend can tell you
what is the matter with you in a minute.
he may not seem such a good friend after telling ❞
;
Arthur Brisbane
Waking up with mosquito bites on my arms was definitely not the best way to wake up.
But waking up next to a shirtless hot guy? Definitely the best way to wake up. If only that happened in real life. Because the bastard lying next to me was undeniably not hot. And attractive. And good looking. And has a killer jawline. And a six-pack.
Squinting at the rising sun, the sky a stunning palette of blue, white and orange, I rolled to my side only to find a smiling Adam with his unfairly attractive sleep-ridden eyes. And I imagined myself years from now, waking up beside someone I love with the sun peeking through slats of the blinds, the soft rustle of the leaves filling the comfortable and easy silence between us.
And we'll just lay there, with my head resting on his chest— on where his heart beats, and he'll softly run his hand through my hair, our mind and soul still in that space between being awake and asleep. Secure and enthralling.
A half-smile danced on Adam's full lips. And said, softly spoken, "If I get to wake up like this with you," he rested a hand on my tailbone and scooted closer to me, lips dangerously close to mine that his warm and spearmint breath fanned mine, "every single day of my life, then I would be the luckiest assface in the world."
I covered the silly grin forming by hiding my face in his bare chest, snuggling closer. "Stop that." I did not like this. At all.
His shoulders shook as he laughed. "Stop what, cherry?"
"Stop making me feel things. I don't like them. Make them go away." I bit my lip and drew small hearts on his chest. The tall grass around us swayed to the wind, dandelion fluffs flying in the wind. Even the rush of the waterfall lost its loud hustle.
"What kind of things?" He, too, was grinning though he made no move to hide it and lifted my head with his index finger and thumb. "Things like this?" Adam's hand reclaimed their place on my waist and inserted themselves inside my shirt. Everywhere he touched was a wildfire that had my toes clenching with anticipation until it stopped just below the hem of my bra. "Or things when I say that I wouldn't mind waking up next to you and having your so-called moments even when I have to suffer through your morning breath?"
I really wished killing wasn't a crime. But hey, knee-ing someone in the balls wasn't.
Even though the pull to do so was strong, I still had some self-control. I rolled my eyes and started to stand up. "You just love ruining these moments, don't you?"
"I was just kidding." He gently pulled me back down with him, an unapologetic smile grazing his lips. "Your breath actually smells of apples. And you know what? I love apples."
I swat his hand away. "You're doing it again." Heat rushed up to my neck then to my cheeks and I probably resembled an apple. "Stop saying stuff like that, will you?"
"Why?"
"Because," I drawled lazily, entwining my hand with his as the sun casted its rays on the side of his face, making his eyes a clear blue shade, "you make me want to..."
There was a dark gleam in his eyes and—Goodness gracious above, save me from this sin. Adam jr. took a slight turn heavenward and it's resting awkwardly on my thigh which was tangled with Adam's. This game I'm playing might very well back fire badly. "What? Kiss me? I'd like to see you try."
"I did it before and trust me, I can do it again." A heartbeat later, I was on top of him, straddling him with my hands on my hips. "I think it's you who can't do it. I mean, every time we kiss, you have to ask me for permission."
His glance flickered momentarily to my lips then back to my eyes before breaking out a devilish smirk. "I was only being a gentleman, cherry. But if you want me to be a beast, then just say so."
For a split second, I saw his breathing hitched, a glazed look on his face. "Yeah, ri—"
Then he pulled me down on him and his mouth was on me, rough and wild. Teeth bumping, lip nipping and a whole lot of swirling tongues. How did it get to this? I ran my hands on the ridges of Adam's abs, scorching hot and hard under the palm of my hands. Torturously slow, Adam's mouth traveled to the side of my cheek, planting soft kisses, then to my ear where he—
"Ow!" My eyes flew open, blue eyes meeting stormy blue ones.
Upon knowing what he did, he nipped lightly on my ear, kissing it gently until the pain was long forgotten. His penetrating gaze probed mine, asking for permission for something. And before I knew it, his hot tongue licked a spot on the column of my throat before sucking and biting on it. Hard.
Holy burning Hell. Biting on my lip, I tried to suppress my moans and Adam knew full well what he was doing to me. Then he ran his tongue over and over on that spot, lessening the ache before kissing it for the last time. That's gonna leave a mark.
"So," his voice sounded like melted butter— smooth and burning hot and his usual focused and kempt eyes were glazed and heavy-lidded. I found myself mirroring that. "Does this mean that we're together?"
I didn't say anything.
"Harper?" His eyes bore into mine, looking, searching.
I remembered the words I said to Xander, the truth and lie it held. "I still love him." My brain said yet my heart told otherwise.
Pain crossed Adam's eyes, deep and wounding and the position we were in got awkward almost instantly. "I-I understand. I'm not- don't think that-"
"You know," I started, feeling the constricting in my chest as I avoided looking at him, "I think I'd like that. I mean, they said to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?"
Something like relief and happiness shone in his heart-stopping eyes and the next thing I knew, I was under him and he was planting kisses all over my face, pining me on the ground as he straddled me.
"You're mine, cherry." He whispered against me. "And I'm never going to let you go."
The words got stuck in my throat as I looked up at him, the sun behind him casting rays of light on his tan skin and he looked to be an angel. Salty tears welled in the brim of my eyes at the promise he made. I knew they would be broken some way or another— not because of his own doing but of my own.
Yet, I whispered back. "And you're mine and mine only."
**
A piercing scream tore through the silence we were enveloped in.
"Oh my fucking gosh." The familiar voice said which was followed by groan of annoyance. "Make-up sex here! Make-up sex there! Make-up sex every-fucking-where. Everybody is having make-up sex! Dennise, can you believe this? Did we suddenly wake up in the world of Fuckland with a discounted ticket price? I want a full refund!" Before she walked away, she muttered under her breath, "Sex-crazed horny people."
I looked at Alex's retreating back and down at Adam who had a smirk grazing his lips— swollen lips, might I add. We weren't really having sex, only coming close to it. Just kidding. Though, if anyone else saw the position we were in— Adam naked from the waist up under me as I straddled him, again, our lips both swollen while our hair had that— what do you call it? Right, sex hair.
"You do know that she's going to tell them we're having sex, right?" I asked him, trailing the tip of my finger on the lines of the plane of his stomach.
Adam rested a hand under his head while the other one stayed on my bare waist— a spot he particularly liked as he told me last night.
He smirked. "I have no problem with that, if that's what you're worried about."
"I'm not worried about that because they won't even think about me doing the do with you." I crossed my arms and looked away from him, at the place where my friends where milling around, laughing and having fun.
I sure do hoped so they'll forgive me soon enough.
Then, as if on cue, Vanessa's shrilling voice rang out as did the smell of something roasting. "What? Adam and Harper are having sex? Finally!"
My face must've shown some kind of horrified stricken expression making Adam burst out laughing, tears almost welling up in his eyes. Begrudgingly, I stood up, picked up my dirty clothes stomped away from him.
"W-why didn't t-they tell us we were? I would've at least bothered to remove my jeans." He sat up, shoulders still shaking from his laughter. "And now we know the truth about you having friends."
I fumed as a blush crept to my already-heated face. "I hate you!"
"You love me really." Even from afar already, I could've sworn I felt him smirk. "And don't even bother denying it!"
Love. I halted in my steps and whipped around splittingly I got a minor headache though that's the last thing on my mind. I shot Adam a dirty look. "There's a huge difference between liking and loving someone. Get your head out of the clouds, bastard, because you seem to be stuck in them."
Adam pouted, his bottom lip sticking out and I was just biting and pulling on those less than ten minutes ago. "I somehow prefer cute Harper than feisty Harper but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose." Upon saying that, he stood up and stretched, basking in the early morning sun. And dear Lord, help me control my inner demons.
His muscles flexed and went taut from all the work out he must've done back in Texas and my eyes traveled all the way down to his ripped abs I would never get tired of looking at until I reached a thin strip of hair visible on his v-line where his jeans hung lowly by his waist.
"Like what you see?" His mouth twitched, his trademark insufferable smirk forming. "You won't have to dream about me anymore, cherry. I'm all yours. Any way you want. Anywhere you want."
I blushed profusely, embarrassed by being caught ogling him. But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of that. Plastering a disgusted look, I mimicked him. "'I'm so beautiful your panties are going to drop', 'Hey there, cherry', 'Everybody loves me because I'm so wonderful' blah, blah, blah. What did I do to suffer this nuisance?"
Before he got to say anything, I stomped away. That egoistic brute and handsome bastard! Somebody better pop his ego a couple of notches down since it was extremely huge it blinded him.
"—bet you five bucks Harper's gonna be angry at Adam in less than ten minutes." I heard Will say followed by a scoff.
"Make it five." Vanessa countered, picking at her cuticles whilst Dennise braided her hair messily. Her eyes rose and met mine, her pink lips curving into a smile upon seeing the expression written all over myself. "I win!"
"Wait, wha— that's unfair. You already saw her coming." Will stood up from the log he sat on and walked to where Alex was, talking on the phone.
"Pay up, bitch. I won right and square." Nessa said, a smug grin on her face.
"Don't you mean 'fair and square'?" But then everything that happened for the past couple of days dawned on me, digging deep until I was under the water in the falls again, unable to breathe. "imsorry." I hastened to say, tumbling in my own words.
Dennise's skillful hands paused but didn't say anything. Nessa, on the other hand, looked rather amused than angry. Even as she spoke, venom didn't lace her words. "Excuse me, what did you say?"
A strong gust of wind blew, blonde hair whipping my face. And I realized how stupid it sounded to say a simple 'I'm sorry' that anybody could've said in similar situations. "I'm a shitty bestfriend."
Nessa bit her lip, though the smile never faded from her face. "And?"
"I'm a stupid and reckless girl that puts herself in danger despite having her family around to help her?" I cringed.
There was a snort which was immediately covered up by a cough. Nessa seemed thoughtful for a moment, a finger tapping lightly on her chin. "Something's missing. Don't you think so, Den?"
"Uh-huh." Dennise bit her lip to hide her growing grin and resumed her hairstyling, fingers maneuvering adeptly in Nessa's dirty blonde hair.
I sighed deeply through my nose. Can this get any worse and embarrassing? "And no, I'm not having sex with Pierce. Nor did I yesterday. And probably won't for the next 4 years."
There was a dejected and abrupt shrill scream. "What? Then you're not forgiven and you will ne—"
I cut her short with a hug, careful not to ruin the masterpiece Dennise created. "Thank you." I took one look at Dennise who smiled to herself and nodded as I mouthed 'I'm sorry'.
"I'm still mad that you and Adam aren't doing the do, yet. I mean, it's been, what? Four weeks? Five? Will and I did it on our second week just after meeting each other." Nessa scoffed and rolled her eyes but her voice shook as if she didn't mean to say that.
I stood there, mouth agape to which Dennise mirrored. I didn't which was more shocking— the fact that one of my best friends had sex with the other or the fact that I almost agreed to do it with Adam. "How come you never told us?"
Vanessa shrugged nonchalantly yet her eyes were glossy. "I was already a whore to everybody before we even graduated. New boy every week, had sex more times than you can count. The last thing I could do for myself is to at least save that last shred of dignity I had. Besides, if I knew Will would be my bestfriend on a long run, I wouldn't even think about doing it with him."
I pressed my lips together and looked at her straight in the eyes, Dennise holding both our hands and said, "Don't, for one second, think that you're anything like that if it what makes you happy, Nes. It's just a label that everybody will forget in about ten years. Having sex makes you happy? That's fine. New boy every week? Well, damn, girl. You're hot."
"If it makes you feel any better, Den and Alex has been doing it for over two years now." I added with a cheeky wink.
"Harper!"
I looked at Will and Alex, talking animatedly on the far side to where we were, smiles dancing on their faces. Alex's dropped as soon as I walked to them, replaced by light frown. What was I even going to say to her? I knew for one, she wouldn't be as forgiving as the others were. But I had to try. For my ha— this friendship.
At that moment, I was a four year-old again, apologizing to my mom for a petty accident I did. I remember being on the verge of crying every time, snot running freely down my nose. "I left a note in Adam's hand just the night I left. And I'm not trying to justify my actions with that but if it changes anything, I wanted to let you all know what I was going to do. I just didn't want any of you to be a part of it."
"And if you died, Harper? Who do you think will suffer the most? How would we feel knowing we let our friend go without even bothering to help?" Alex asked in an undertone, her eyes not quite meeting mine.
I found myself doing the same. "You, all of you, not once let go of me even when I went away. You were in my heart all the way through. You helped me get through the fear, as cliché as that sounds." I laughed but there was no humor in it. "Last year, you almost lost me. And no, I didn't try to do that. I just— I almost lost my self, too. Because my life was so fucked up I didn't know how to live it anymore."
I continued. "I spent the last year of high school like a ghost. There but not really. And I would've let go and allowed all the grieving and sadness to consume me. But you were there, an anchor to hold me down to the ugly and painful reality and I couldn't be more thankful. You helped me live again. And for that, I'm sorry. For every fucked up thing I did."
An anchor when I was drowning.
A pillar when I was falling.
A refuge when I was lost.
My family when I lost mine.
Arms embraced me, home and familiar. I didn't realize I was crying had it not been Will wiping my tears with the pad of his thumb. Through the tears, one look at Alex and I knew I was forgiven.
**
If I can kill an annoying bastard, I would've done it a long time ago and nobody would even notice his death.
Too bad I like him to not do that. But then, I hated him at first. So, the possibility to kill him was always there.
"This is our last stop, Harper. We won't be going anywhere. We gotta make memories happen in here!" Adam yelled just before he dove for the deep part of the waterfall, splashing us all. He resurfaced seconds later, hair covering most of his eyes and a wide grin blooming on his face.
Someone landed beside him, creating another splash. It was Will. "And by memories, he meant have sex."
I couldn't help the blush that crept on my face. Thankfully, the tan I got over the past days covered most of it. "Just because you're all getting laid doesn't mean I have to." I accused, floating on the water with my glasses perched upon my nose. More than grateful, Nessa brought swimsuits. No other explanation needed.
Will snorted. "But it's obligatory to have at least sex three times before college!" There was a squeal followed by a string of colorful words. "Right, Nes?"
A painful smack against water before, "Hell yeah! Though, I would say three or higher is beneficial."
"How is having sex beneficial?" Then I was drowning and flailing before being hauled up in a hard shoulder, the cool air biting my skin. I looked down to see none other than Adam. "Put me down!"
His hands were warm and hot that sent tingles all the way through me. The sparks turning into fireworks when he decided that stroking my bare thigh with his thumb was perfect for my hormonal state. It was him who answered. "Because," he started, "having sex not only makes a person a whole lotta gorgeous than they are already but it makes one happy."
"That's it?" I asked, aloof. "A lot of things makes a person beautiful and happy so your answer is invalid."
Adam scoffed just as Alex yelled, "It's invalid because you haven't done it in, like, a year!"
"And I survived without it since then." I pointed out, pushing Vanessa off of Xander. What started out as a friendly match turned into a duel— who falls first loses and whoever wins got bragging rights. I know. It's amazing. Not. "Can we stop picking on my sex life please? This isn't Tease Harper For Her Non-Existent Canoodles Life day." I managed to speak out.
Adam's hand trailed farther north than I'd like it to, causing me to lose my focus and thus, making me the sore loser. I glared daggers at Adam. "Sorry, babe. Not my fault." He shrugged before stealing a kiss and ran away like a maniac.
From atop Xander, Nessa squealed like a child getting her first candy. "You guys are so cute. Why can't I have a boyfriend like that?" And dreamily sighed.
"Answering that question would be answering why Harper doesn't have a sex life." Alex remarked, craning her neck to get a better look at Dennise who wore a pink polka-dotted swimsuit. Her black skin near-glowing with the sun kissing it.
"What?" Nessa asked.
"Exactly." Smug by her answer, Alex took one long look at Dennise before laying back down her makeshift blanket.
I, on the other hand, could barely contain my laughter upon seeing Nessa's confused expression. Her whole face scrunched up. "Don't sweat it, Nes." I said.
And for once, I was afraid to leave. Knowing that someone knew it, too, made it even worse. I had zero idea how to break it to them when the time comes when I had to say goodbye. And ohgod Adam. You ignored me when I was warning you, idiot.
That's because you were ruining the moment. But deep down, my annoying subconscious was correct. And I wanted to be happy even for a moment.
Stupid, idiotic girl. Why did I even become your subconscious?
I internally rolled my eyes. It was a Fuck-it moment, alright? You can't blame me.
A Fuck-it moment? Since when did you came up with that?
Just now?
Somebody splashed me with water, the force strong enough the water went straight up my nose. "What the fuck, Pierce?" I said, blowing out the water with tears welling behind my lids. In answer, the rest of the laughed, splashing me with even more water. "I hate you all."
"Come on, babe. You were practically drowning in your thoughts." Adam surprised me by hugging me from behind, arms wrapped around me in a gentle grip. "It's not my fault the water decided to travel far up your nose."
Another glare. "Well, it's not my fault this relationship isn't going to work anytime soon."
"Relationship?" They all said in unison, eyes wide open. Oops?
**
Happiness, like most things, turns its back on you as soon as it was there.
"Hey, mom," I said through the phone, shivering from the cold wind with a flimsy blanket being the only thing available, "I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you for the past days. A lot of things were happening. So, how are you?"
Mom's voice was small and throaty as if she had been crying. And I absolutely hated it that I wasn't there for her. Yet she let out a chuckle. "Good things, I hope. And I'm okay, Harper. I've seen way worst days than this so I'll live."
"Mom..."
"I'm fine, Harper." And I wondered if it held the same amount of truth as I had whenever I say it myself. "Really. I've just been a member of a local group therapy and it's going great. As far as great comes, I think."
"Mom." I said a bit harder.
"Helena has been helping me around the house for a while. Dusting shelves, chatting and getting on the bandwagon around town. You know the usual." She ranted on. "And did you know that—"
"Mom, stop it! I don't want to know about Mr. Griffith's new dog or a new neighbor or other bullshit that you're making up. I want to know about you." I may have sounded harsh but sugarcoating the bullshit was the last thing I wanted to hear from her. "So, how have you been doing?"
A pause. It gradually grew until the silence became deafening and I would've thought mom hanged up had it not been for the soft sob. "I'm sorry. It's just— Harper, it's hard. I don't know what to do. The therapy sessions weren't helping at all. Talking with Helena seems forced. I don't know what to do." Her cries were a needle to the heart, painful and bleeding.
I bit the inside of my cheek. "We're going home today, mom. I'll be there for you. But for now, go to the kitchen." There was shuffling. "Now make yourself a cup of good tea and read a book mom. Anything. And I'll stay over the line. Sounds good to you?" I, on the other hand, settled under a tree, thankful for the shade.
"Harper?" She asked after a while as I listened to her pour water. "They're trying the radiation route to remove most of the tumor in her head. Mark stayed at home most of the time and the private nurse I hired was the one taking care of her."
That uncaring jackass. "And how's the radiation going so far?"
"They just did it today. The results may not come until tomorrow." Mom sniffed, though her crying lessened. "And I've been thinking about something."
The leaf I was toying with flew out of my hand. "What is it?" I said slowly.
"How would you feel about leaving this Wednesday? I'm not trying to rush you in to anything. You still have a couple of days to say goodbye to everyone. I mean, I've only been thinking about it only but being close to mom might put my mind to ease, at least."
Wednesday was five days away. The trip back to Brooklyn might take a good four hours' worth of travel and that would leave me a total of four days to prepare for the worst. But then, even a month wouldn't be enough for a goodbye.
Goodbye. That sounded like something one would say in a Fuck-it moment— when you know everything's going to fall down and it hurts.
Hurts like a bitch. So, fuck it. "Wednesday sounds good, mom. It sounds great, actually." I hope she didn't hear the evident lie in my words.
"Well, that's fantastic, Harper. Thank you!" The glee and excitement was almost enough to be on the same level as the pain. Almost. "So, how have you been doing these past days? How's everybody else?"
I shrugged and realized she couldn't see me. "We're having a great time." I said with as much enthusiasm I could muster. "I actually think Xander and Nessa might be together."
"Those two?" There was a loud crash followed by several others. "Oh, dear. I may have just destroyed the kitchen. But those two?"
"Mom, are you okay?" Flashbacks of the broken glass on our kitchen floor, screams exchanged amidst the chaos— they all came in unwanted.
Mom breathed heavily on the phone as if she had been running. "I'm fine. Great. Grand." And in that moment, my mom didn't sound like a mom. At all. "I've been waiting for this moment to come."
I couldn't be more confused than a preschooler in a math class at college. "I don't understand where you're going with this, mom."
"You don't have to understand it, Harp. But it's love." And with a sigh, all happiness was drained from me replaced by one of pure horror. "So, you and Adam doing the do yet?"
**
Five chapters left and an epilogue before this novel is finally done! I don't think I'll be ready for when that time comes. But then, all things come to an end. Both good and bad.
GUYS, things are escalating between everybody! What do you think is going to happen next?
And the fact that Harper is going to leave? Let me know about your thoughts and rants for this chapter. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.
I loved writing this chapter and I hope you all felt the same as you read this. Leave a vote and comments. Don't forget to share this story with your friends. :)
- Jhodie ♛