A/N HEY GUYS BACK WITH ANOTHER UPDATE. AS YOU CAN SEE CHAPTER 32 WILL BE IN PARTS TOO. THERE WILL BE 3 PARTS FOR SURE...NOT SURE IF THERE WILL BE A 4th, DEPENDS ON HOW LONG THEY TURN OUT. PLEASE READ NEXT CHAPTER WITH CAUTION. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ PLEASE STOP AND DON'T READ IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU WHO ARE READING MY STORY AND VOTING AND COMMENTING. I WOULD ESPECIALLY LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS CHAPTER TO MY AMAZING FRIEND XIN WHO ALWAYS SUPPORTS ME THROUGH EVERYTHING AND THAT'S A LOT. THANK YOU XIN I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING YOU ARE AND THAT I DO LISTEN TO ALL THAT YOU SAY. LOVE YOU. HOPE YOU ALL DON'T HATE ME TOO MUCH FOR THIS CHAPTER. ALL THE LOVE M XXX
Harry returned to his room an hour after he had left it. He had met Jeff in the lobby and they had went to the hotel's bar and grill. They had sat at the bar until their table was ready and had a few drinks though Harry stuck to tonic water and lime. His mind was too preoccupied to handle any alcohol and his heart was too hurt and he figured that if he'd drink, he'd only end up a sobbing mess. He hated that he couldn't be better company for Jeff. After all, Jeff had flow out from Los Angels to spend time with him here, to be here for him and had extended his stay, telling Harry that business could wait and that if anything required him urgently, he was only a hop on his private jet away.
Harry loved Jeff. He was an amazing guy and always had Harry's back, now more than ever. He couldn't understand Louis' obsession that Jeff wanted him as more than a friend. There had never been any signs of this. Jeff had never taken a step out of line. Harry felt sorry that he had to leave Jeff in the middle of dinner, telling him that he wasn't feeling well but as always Jeff was understanding and told him to just go on up and rest and that he'd see him in the morning for their flight to Perth.
Harry slid his key card into the slot and pushed his door open. His mind was just thinking about Louis. It was all about Louis. Harry wished that he didn't love him so much, that he wasn't what made up his world, what made every moment tick for him. Harry sighed and wished that Louis would give his heart a break. He threw the key card on the couch and sat down heavily. He felt bone tired. Well he could sleep in tomorrow since he was flying into Perth with Jeff in his private jet. The others were leaving earlier but Jeff had told him to take his time and rest up as he much as he needed. Harry really loved his friend. However, he had neglected to tell him what had happened earlier tonight with Louis. Not because he didn't trust him or wanted to hide things from him, but because he knew that Jeff didn't really exactly like Louis and he voiced his opinion about him to Harry and Harry couldn't stand anyone saying bad things about Louis. Not even Jeff!
He heaved himself off the couch and made his way into the bedroom but when he reached the door, he stopped dead in his tracks. Louis was asleep on his side of the bed, on his back. Harry swore under his breath as he walked over the bed determined to wake him up and get him out of his room. He will not have him sleep here again and have to face him and his hurtful accusing words again in the morning.Harry stood over him with his hand outstretched ready to shake him awake but he felt his heart go out to him. He looked so peacefully asleep just like an angel, so beautiful and so not his. He brushed the fringe off his forehead gently not wanting to wake him. Harry guessed he could let him sleep here and he would be fine sleeping on the couch.
He stood there and looked at him for another second. He was so close yet so unreachable and so unattainable. Harry knew then what it must be like for the fans to want the one you can't have, to be so close, so within reach yet never having. His fingers softly traced down Louis'cheek, his jaw, the light stubble which felt rough under his fingers.Harry smiled to himself as he bent at the waist and placed a kiss to Louis forehead. As he turned to go he noticed the empty bottle of Jack on the other side of the bed. Harry shook his head and realized that Louis had once again drowned himself in alcohol, now his only escape. He would let him sleep it off in here. He moved away from the bed and stepped on something, hearing a soft crunch under his boot.He looked down and saw his empty painkillers bottle. He picked it up and looked at it confused. What was it doing here? He always left it in the bathroom and he was sure he had at least 8 pills left last night after he.....
He stopped horrified and felt his blood turn to ice, freezing in his veins. He felt his heart stutter to a stop then lurch and beat fast against his sternum. He stood rooted to the spot, his eyes wide staring at Louis as a horrific realization spread into his mind while he fought against it refusing to even consider the thought.Then everything happened as if in slow motion, as if he was in some horrible nightmare where you tried to run away from some horror but you were stuck and it always caught up to you no matter how hard you tried to struggle to get away. He felt the bottle slip out of his fingers and fall to the carpeted floor. He felt himself move towards the bed and grab Louis by the shoulders and shake him hard. Louis did not open his eyes. Harry shook him again but his head only lolled from side to side.
'Louis,'he called out desperately, shaking him again, 'Louis get up.' But Louis remained with his eyes closed, lips slightly parted.
'No,no, no, no,' Harry screamed horrified. 'No Louis what have you done?You don't get to do this Louis, you just don't!' Harry shook him harder as he felt panic rise within him, fear, dread and desperation.He touched Louis' face and it was still slightly warm. He pressed his ear to his chest and he thought he heard a faint heartbeat, unsure whether it was his own raging heart he was hearing.
'Help,'Harry yelled as loudly as he could into the silent suite. 'Somebody help please. Anybody!' He knew no one would hear and he was freaking out and at a loss at what to do.
'Dammit Louis,' he yelled as the tears began to fall from his eyes. 'Damn you. What the fuck were you thinking you selfish prick? Why would you want to leave me? Why? You can't fucking do this!' Harry sobbed out. He quickly grabbed his phone out of his pocket and and hit speed dial number 6, Paul. He had never removed him from his speed dial.Paul answered on the third ring.
'Paul,'Harry screamed into his phone, 'Paul its Louis. Call a fucking ambulance hurry, my suite. Now! Hurry!' He hung up and shoved his phone in his back pocket. Harry looked at Louis still lost to the world and his mind quickly tried to go through options. He couldn't just leave him there. He remembered once he had seen a programme about first aid and it hit him. He draped Louis' arm about his shoulder, his own arm wrapped securely around his waist and he hauled him off the bed. Louis was small, he was easy to carry.
'C'mon,'Harry told him in between sobs, 'how dare you want to leave me like that? How dare you Louis? You left me once you want to leave me again you fucking ass hole?' Harry dragged him into the bathroom and straight into the shower. He got in with him and held him up with one hand the best he could and turned on the shower to cold over them. He held him up under the cascading cold water.
'C'mon Louis,' Harry begged him, 'please please wake up. Don't leave me baby. I won't survive without you I won't. I can't be in a world where you are not Louis please please,' Harry sobbed. He tilted Louis' face up to the spraying cold water smoothing back the fringe away from his face. He hoped Louis' system would work and snap him out of it but Louis remained unconscious and limp in Harry's arms.Harry hugged him tightly and buried his face in his neck.
'Louis please don't do this to me. I love you so much. I will do anything you want baby, be whatever you need me to be even just a friend just please don't leave me. I'm so sorry I yelled at you. You can't leave me Louis,' Harry cried as he held him tightly against his chest. He didn't hear Paul barge into the room, followed by Alberto and Ryan.All three of them stood frozen in the bathroom door looking at Harry holding an unconscious Louis, sobbing his heart out, both soaking wet.
'Harry what the hell?' Paul yelled as he rushed over to them. He tried to take Louis out of his arms but Harry only tightened his grip on Louis.
'No,'Harry screamed at him. Harry peppered Louis' face with kisses. 'C'mon baby wake up please for me. Please Louis,' he cooed, running his freehand across Louis' face but Louis just wouldn't open his eyes. Harry was vaugely aware of more voices in the room, yells and shouts and hands grabbing at him but he only held on tighter to Louis, his face buried in Louis' neck, whispering to him to wake up. Then he felt them pry away Louis from his grasp and he trashed against the hands that were tying to pull him away from Louis. He tightened his grip on Louis but strong hands were pulling him away from Louis and he watched as Louis was taken away from him.
'No,'he yelled struggling in the hands that were gripping him, 'give him back give him back! Give him back to me. Please!' He tried to wriggle his way out of the arms that were holding him away from Louis. He felt himself being dragged down on to the bathroom floor, somebody sitting behind him with their arms across his chest not allowing him to move. Harry thrashed and kicked out as he watched the paramedics lay Louis down on the cold tiled floor across from him and begin their examination. He needed to get to Louis, he needed to hold him.
'Please,'Harry begged sobbing, 'please let me hold him.'
'It's alright Harry,' Paul reassured him. 'It's going to be alright buddy.They are going to help Louis but you have to let them work on him.'Harry let out a strangled sob, his arms reaching out to Louis. Paul enveloped him in a hug trying to calm him down. A paramedic came over to them, crouched down in front of Harry and was asking him questions but Harry could hardly hear what was being asked of him. He was looking round the paramedic to Louis. The voices in the room sounded like a lot of babbling noises and he couldn't distinguish from whom they where coming or from where. His mind just screamed out Louis!Next thing he knew, Harry felt a sharp smack across his cheek and it stopped him short. His eyes focused on the paramedic in front of him as his hand flew to his stinging cheek. More tears fell out of his eyes.
'I'm sorry man,' the paramedic apologized, 'but if you want us to save your friend here I need you to focus for me okay.' Harry nodded as if dazed, one hand still holding his burning cheek and the other hand wiping at the tears in his eyes.
'What did he swallow?' the paramedic asked him. Harry furrowed his brow trying to get his brain to co-operate with this man and answer his question.
'My...my pa..painkillers,' he stammered out, his eyes zoning back in on Louis.
'Which painkillers?' the paramedic asked him but Harry was focused hard on Louis, still unconscious on the bathroom floor. He could see his lips were turning blue as one of the medics placed an oxygen mask over his face. Harry made to scoot over to him but Paul held him back. The paramedic snapped his fingers in front of Harry's face.
'Harry,Harry focus for me. You need to tell me what he took if we are going to save his life you hear me? What did he take?' With difficulty Harry tore his eyes away from Louis and refocused on the paramedic.
'Arcoxia 120mg,' he said softly. His throat felt hoarse from all the crying and screaming.
'How many?' the paramedic pressed. Harry tried to remember how many he had left after the one he had taken last night after the concert.
'Seven or eight. I can't remember. I don't know....I...I wasn't here...I left him here....he...he was okay....I don't fucking know,' he said breaking into tears again. Paul hugged him and the paramedic placed a hand on his shoulder.
'It's okay Harry. You did good man. What you did might just save your buddy's life here.' Harry raised his tearful eyes to the paramedic.
'Is he? Will he?' Harry asked but he couldn't form a whole sentence. The paramedic squeezed his shoulder.
'We need to get him to hospital as soon as possible. There is only so much we can do here. They will take better care of him there.' The paramedic went back to assisting the others with Louis. He watched as they attached an oxygen tank to the mask covering Louis' nose and mouth, another checked his pulse, another checked his blood pressure all the while shouting orders to each other. Harry placed both his hands over his ears trying to block out their voices. He was aware that someone had draped a blanket over him because he was shaking very badly. He watched as someone wheeled in a stretcher and they lifted Louis on to it. The paramedics started wheeling Louis out of the bathroom and Harry scrambled on to his long shaking legs clumsily nearly slipping from the water on the tiled floor. He felt Paul's hands steadying him.
'I need to go with him,' Harry said to no one in particular as he made to follow the paramedics but he felt hands holding him back. He struggled and tried to pull himself free. 'I need to go with him,' he yelled loudly.
'Harry you can't,' Paul told him sternly. 'You're not in a condition to go with him.' Harry turned and looked at Paul.
'I'm fucking going with him. I have to be with him,' he yelled frantically struggling out of his hold. 'He fucking needs me.' Paul let go of him, not wanting him to struggle anymore than he already has and Harry dashed out of the room and ran after the paramedics, letting the blanket fall to the floor as he ran. Once out in the corridor, he was vaugely aware of Liam, Zayn, Niall, Eleanor and his sister. They approached him asking a dozen questions and trying to hold him but Harry was just focused on Louis. Louis was where he needed to be. The others followed at his heels as he caught up with the paramedics at the elevator. Harry stopped by the stretcher and looked down at Louis. He was so pale. Harry took his hand in his and squeezed it tightly. He bent down close to Louis' ear.
'Please don't give up Lou. Don't leave me Please. I can't be without you.'Eleanor pushed her way though the others and approached them. She looked at Louis and clasped a hand to her mouth.
'Oh my God Louis,' she whimpered. Harry raised his head and shot her a look, a hard 'don't you even fucking dare' look. The elevator doors dinged open.
'Not all of you,' the paramedic informed them as they rushed Louis inside.Harry kept his hard gaze on Eleanor as he went into the elevator followed by Paul. She knew better than to follow them. Harry never let go of Louis' hands and his eyes remained on Eleanor as the door closed and they started down. Harry squeezed Louis' hand again. He was shaking so bad from the cold and the shock he was under. Paul looked at him worriedly as Harry pushed his wet hair away from his face with his free hand. Paul wondered how much more Harry could take before he broke down.
The elevator opened out on to the lobby. Luckily not many people were there and thankfully no paps. The paramedics ran Louis out to the waiting ambulance. As they hefted him in, Paul put his hand on Harry's shoulder stopping him. Harry shivered. The weather in Melbourne was crazy. It was the only place, he was told, that had four seasons in one day. Sunny one moment and cold the next and tonight it was cold with a chance of rain.
'Harry I'll drive you. At least change and get into warmer clothes. You're shivering in those wet clothes.' Harry shrugged out of Paul's grasp.
'I'm going with him,' he told him desicevley.
'You can't go without security Harry,' Paul argued.
'C'mon,'the paramedic urged them, 'we can't waste time. His life is on the line.' Harry looked at Paul and hopped up into the ambulance, sat and grabbed Louis' hand again. The doors shut with a loud bang and the ambulance wailed it's way to the hospital. The ride seemed endless to Harry, the siren of the ambulance ripping into his brain and heart.He kept squeezing Louis' hand more for his own reassurance than anything else. He needed to feel him, to know he was still here. He sat there shivering, his teeth chattering holding onto Louis' hand for dear life.
As soon as the ambulance screeched to a stop in front of the emergency unit, they were on the move again. A doctor and the nurse were waiting for them at the doors.
'What do we have?' the doctor asked, slipping on a pair of latex gloves.Harry watched still attached to Louis' hand.
'Twenty three year old, attempted suicide. In take of 7 to 8 Arcoxia 120mg tablets. Accessive in take of alcohol. Pulse weak. Heartbeat irregular. Breathing was extremely shallow, blood pressure low on both ends, possible system shut down.' Harry felt his head reel as he listened to the paramedic informing the doctor of Louis' condition.The situation hadn't hit him fully until he heard the paramedic say'possible attempted suicide.' He looked down at Louis and felt his heart break, a kind of break that was even worse than the one that the break up had caused him. He realized that he might lose Louis,that Louis might not make it. He realized that he might have been too late to save him. Harry felt a hand on his arm. He looked down at the nurse.
'You have to wait out here now Sir,' she told him softly. Harry shook his head at her.
'No,'he protested, 'I need to be with him. Please,' he begged her as he looked over her shoulder to where they where rushing Louis down a corridor through a set of double doors. He made to move past her and follow them but the nurse put a hand flat out on his chest.
'Sir you need to let us work on your friend if we are to save his life.Please. Just wait here and let us do our job.' Harry was about to protest again but she turned on her heels and rushed through the door they had just wheeled Louis through and it closed behind her, separating Harry from Louis. Harry kept staring at the door feeling on the verge of breaking down totally. His jeans and shirt clung wetly to his skin and his long hair still dripped cold water onto his shoulders. He had goosebumps all over his body and he shivered again but it wasn't all from the cold. The gravity of the situation was slowly seeing into him and the more it seeped in, the more he thought about how he could lose Louis. He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Luckily it hadn't gotten too soaked. It was a message from Niall
[To Harry]
We're on the way mate. Hang tight. We got you. Niall xx
Harry felt a lump close his throat and he tried to swallow but he couldn't. He felt as if he was choking. He looked at his phone and saw that he had a voice message. He went to his messages and put the phone to his ear. He stiffened when he heard Louis' voice.
'Hey I know you don't believe me and you've had enough of my shit and I don't blame you but Haz I really am sorry for everything. At least please believe that.'
Harry squeezed his eyes tightly shut, his fingers wrapped so tightly around his phone that his knuckles went white. He rested his back against the wall and slid down till he sat on the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest,wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his forehead on his knees. He had put his phone on silent after he had left his room, leaving Louis behind. He didn't want to hear anymore from him.He felt guilt eating him up inside that he had shut Louis out when he needed him. He felt guilty that he had been eating with Jeff while Louis was thinking about killing himself. Harry let out a strangled sob. If Louis didn't make it, it would be all his fault.
'Please God,' he whispered as the tears fell down from his tired eyes,'please let him be alright. You just can't take the love of my life away from me. What will I do if you do? Please let him be alright.Please.'
To be continued....................