The past few days have been eventful for the Save Elena Squad: Elijah was dead, Katherine was out of the tomb, the famous Matt Donovan found out about vampires, Isobel returned and then killed herself in front of Elena, Bonnie knew a way to kill Klaus, Elena owned the Salvatore Boarding House because she needed a safe house, and Klaus was in town. It was all a jumble of problems, one after the other. Elena, Caroline, and Stefan had been sending me mass text messages telling me about the occurrences while I was gone. Oh, where was I?
The moment Elijah died, everything he had done to me came back like a freight train. Every compulsion, big or small, burst in my mind like a bomb. It was a whirlwind of pain, of sadness, of anger. Those hidden memories were filled with so many emotions that I decided to lock myself up in my home. It wasn't for my sake, it was for the sake of everyone else. Each time a new memory arrived, I wanted nothing more than to turn off my emotions and feed. I wanted to drown myself in the sweet taste of blood until I was satisfied.
"You've been locked in here for days!" Damon's voice rang through the room as he marched in. "You've been slacking enough. Come on, get dressed. You and I are chaperoning the dance."
"I remember everything," I muttered, causing him to stop moving. "Damon, I remember everything Elijah ever did on me."
"Is that why you've answered none of our calls?" he asked, taking a seat at the end of the bed. "Well, that explains why you've been sulking."
"I've done some horrible stuff," I sniffed, pulling my legs to my chest. "I've killed so many people; I have so much blood on my hands. Damon, I think I'm worse than Klaus."
"Clara, you can't possibly be worse than Klaus," he stated, rolling his eyes.
"I killed for fun, how is that not worse than Klaus?" I scoffed and stood, crossing my arms. "I killed because it felt fun and exciting, because there was nothing better than the taste of blood. Elijah compelled me to be in control, and I don't think I'll be in control anymore because he's dead."
"Have you had any blood since Elijah died?" Damon questioned, watching me as I paced back and forth. "Clara have you fed at all?"
"I can't," I breathed shaking my head. "If I do, I won't be able to control myself, Damon."
He stood and laid his hands on my shoulders, stopping me. "Clara," he whispered. "Hey, you can do this. You've been doing this without his help for fifteen years. Now, get dressed; the dance will take your mind off everything. We'll dance, scold underage drinkers, and plan Klaus's impending doom. Doesn't that sound fun?"
I stared at him for a couple of seconds, and nodded. "Okay," I nodded. "Fine. Whatever. Forget my feelings."
"I'm not forgetting your feelings, Clara," he sighed, following my moves with his eyes. "What I'm doing is trying to make you forget your feelings. I'm helping you here, Clara."
"Whatever," I hummed, walking in to the bathroom to change.
Damon had pulled out a dress from my closet as soon as he walked in. The dress was a black with a white collar, just like the dress Wednesday Adams wore. It was one of those dresses that women wore in the late 60's, sometimes with flower patterns and sometimes with a belt to adorn it. I decided to leave it as it was. The only colour I had was white, which were the collar. the ends of the arms, and the white tights with a diamond pattern. I pulled on a pair of black t-strap shoes and walked out, running a hand through my hair. Damon was sitting on the bed, a journal in his hands and his brows furrowed. He looked up.
"Done?" he asked, raising a brow. I responded with a nod. He stood and walked out the door. I followed behind him, keeping my arms crossed. The house felt lonely, sad. I was both happy and worried about leaving the small comfort of my room.
Downstairs, on the sofa, Elena and Stefan were waiting. They stood when Damon and I entered. Elena smiled at me, but it looked forced. Stefan, on the other hand, had a small smile that was filled with pity. He had heard what I told Damon, and that was why his look was filled with more pity than anything else. I took notice that he wore a suit. Elena was wearing a purple dress, looking exactly like a girl from the late 60's.
When we arrived at the school, Elena and Stefan were the first to get out and head in. I stayed behind with Damon, keeping my arms crossed. As we walked closer, I noticed Jeremy and Bonnie talking. Bonnie saw us first.
"Damon," she mumbled, loud enough for Jeremy to hear.
"Evenin'," Damon greeted, smiling.
"Come on," I groaned, grabbing his arm and walking in. As soon as we walked in, the atmosphere hit me. Everybody was dancing, laughing, elating the ambiance with their happiness. It surprised me, but at the same time it made me smile. The sun suddenly changed to a slow one, and that was when my smile left. Although I did enjoy a good slow song to dance to, the 60's were more about having fun. Although they were horrible, they were fun.
"Thanks for being here everybody," a girl announced from the stage, interrupting the song. "We have a special shout-out tonight. This is for Elena and a Miss Clara Forbes, from Klaus." I stopped moving and stared at the girl with wide eyes. Dedicated To The One I Love by The Mamas and The Papas surrounded me, stunning me to the point where I couldn't move.
"That was a lame, cheap shot," Damon scoffed. "He's just trying to bait us."
"I know everyone here," Elena said, glancing around.
"Maybe he's not here," Stefan said, also glancing around. "Just wants us to believe that he is."
"It's a party, people," Damon said, annoyed. "Blend."
"Let him come to us," I finished for him, glaring at my surroundings.
"Good idea," Bonnie breathed, grabbing Jeremy's arm. He began to whine about not dancing, but Bonnie continued to push him to the dance floor.
"There's Ric," Damon said, pointing at Alaric with his chin. He grabbed my hand. "We'll be back." He pulled me with him, going between dancers. We took a stance by Alaric, glancing around.
"Special dedication, huh?" he breathed. "This guy's a little twisted."
"I'm not impressed," I answered, looking down at my hand. Damon still kept a hold of it, and that made my stomach fill with butterflies.
"No?" Alaric asked, raising a brow. He sounded surprised.
"Let me know if you see anything out of the whack," Damon said, pulling me away. I smiled softly, looking down at our hands. Holding his hand felt so natural, so good, so warm. Suddenly, he let go of my hand and moved to Elena, and began to dance with her. My smile faded. The butterflies that were in my stomach began to scrape my insides instead of the soft flutter they were supposed to have. This was a feeling I knew too well—jealousy.
I took a deep breath and walked out the gym, only stopping when I reached the hallway. I pressed myself to the lockers and took deep breaths, hoping to calm myself down. The image of Damon and Elena kept repeating in my mind, making me take even more deep breaths. It was like seeing Damon and Katherine all over again, but the pain was even worse. I felt like crying, like screaming, like ripping the hair from my head as I cried.
"Hey, are you okay?" A girl asked as she walked to me. She furrowed her brows, looking at me with worry. "You don't look so good."
I wrapped my hands around her neck and pressed her to the lockers. "Just a little hungry," I responded with a small smirk. "Don't scream."
"I won't scream," she repeated, monotone.
"Good girl," I sarcastically praised, sinking my fangs in her neck. The sweet taste of blood began to push its way between the two puncture wounds, sliding down my tongue and down my throat. I silently moaned, missing the taste I had stopped consuming days ago. It was sweet, tangy, and it filled me with energy. I felt as if I couldn't stop, so I continued to drink, and drink, and drink, until the girl went limp on my arms.
I pulled away and licked my lips, watching the girl. She was dead, and I didn't know whether to feel horrible or completely okay. I cleaned my mouth with the back of my hand, taking a step back. The smell of the blood on my hand and my mouth made me crave more, and I couldn't help but go on the search for more.
"Clara?" someone questioned behind me. "Clara, what did you do?" I turned to see Stefan glancing between me and the dead girl. "Did you kill her?"
"I couldn't stop myself," I explained, finally realizing what I had done. "Stefan, I couldn't stop! I-I told Damon that without Elijah's compulsion that I wouldn't be able to do this, and I was right. I couldn't stop myself, Stefan! I couldn't!" I fell down on my knees and began to sob into my hands. "I couldn't stop!"
Stefan wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. His hand began to soothe down my hair, trying to calm me down. He began to whisper soothing words. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay, Clara. It's okay."
The truth was, I knew it wasn't okay. It was in the least way okay. I had killed a high school girl that had a family, a future. My thirst got the best of me, and I had killed a girl with a life because of that. There were times that I could care less whether I killed them or not, but now... Seeing the dead girl leaning against the lockers broke me.
"Stefan!" Elena yelled. "What's... Oh my god!"
"Elena..." Stefan sighed, shaking his head. "Uh, what is it?"
"Klaus is in Alaric's body!" she said, eyes wide with horror. "He's possessing it or something!"
"Go," I told Stefan, pulling away from him.
"Clara..."
"Go!" I yelled, standing. "I'm... I'm going to get rid of the body, and then I'm going to go home." I walked to the body and lifted it, ignoring the stares Elena and Stefan gave me. Without a word from or them, I marched out of the high school and hurried to the closes biggest body of water was. It turned out to be Wickery Bridge. I threw her body at the water, and watched as it floated. Her hair moved with the small ripples the breeze caused, her eyes were still open, and her mouth was in a small O form. She looked frightened.
I took careful steps back and keeping my eyes on the body. When I couldn't handle it anymore, I looked away and made my way home. It was a long walk, and I minded not one bit. I needed time to think about what I had gone through. By the time I got to my house, the sun had already risen. When I looked at myself in the mirror of my hallway, I saw dried blood decorating my mouth and parts of the neck of the dress.
"Clara." The soft voice that I hated and loved so much danced to my ears. I stopped moving and slowly turned to where it came from, seeing Elijah standing by the back door with a hand in his pocket.
"Stay away from me!" I hissed, pointing at him. "Don't you come near me, Elijah!"
"Clara..." he softly said, taking a step forward.
"Stay back!" I yelled, shaking my head. "I don't want you near me, Elijah!"
"I take it that my compulsion wore off," he sighed, straightening his back.
"I remember everything," I hissed, tearing up. "I remember every damn thing, Elijah. Why did you compel me so many times?"
"Because you needed to forget," he answered. "Because you needed to be in control."
"You could have taught me instead of compelling me!" I yelled. "I killed someone today, Elijah. I couldn't stop myself as I drank her blood, and I ended up killing her." Elijah stayed quiet as I continued to ramble on about the girl I killed at the dance. He listened, keeping his hand inside his pocket. I stopped talking and looked at his shoes, only because I didn't want to look into his eyes. "I remember everything, Elijah, even the drawings of the women that looked just like me. Who are they? Why do we look alike?"
"I will answer all of your questions," he said, "But, right now I need you to come with me."
"So, what? You can make me forget again?" I shook my head and wiped away the few tears that had escaped. "No, Elijah."
"Come with me, Clara," he softly said, taking a step forward. "Do you remember my brother? My family?"
"Your brother?" I arched a brow. "Your family? Who? The Originals?"
"Hmm," he hummed, nodding. He uttered something under his breath, too low for me to hear. "Just as I thought... Clara, I will tell you about those women, alright? First, I need you to come with me."
"Where?"
"The boarding house," Elena answered. I looked at her, realizing that she was in the room the whole time. It surprised me that I didn't realize that she was in the room. "Please, Clara, you need to come. We're... Stefan and I are worried about you after last night."
"Don't worry," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I killed no one else, Elena. You can go tell Stefan that."
"Clara," Elijah sighed. "Please, just come with me. I'll explain later, but first you need to come with us."
I did go with them, and we did end up at the boarding house. The second we walked in, Damon and Stefan were fighting. Elena stopped them while Elijah and I watched them. Damon was the first to react, glaring at Elijah. "Now you've invited him in?"
"Elijah and I renewed the terms of our deal," Elena explained.
"The two of you will come to no harm in my hands," Elijah said. "I only ask for one thing in return."
"What?"
"An apology."
I tuned them out then, and made my way to the table to pour myself a drink. One glass, two glasses, three glasses filled with alcohol and downed. When I came back to reality, I saw that Damon left. Both Stefan and Elena kept their eyes on me, mostly Stefan. I groaned when I sat that Elijah had also left. He must not want to talk about what I asked him, but I wasn't going to back down anytime soon. I was going to push until he told me what I wanted to know, just like Elena had done.
"I'm going to help you," Stefan suddenly said as laid the glass down.
"Help me what?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "Control my hunger so I won't kill anyone else? We both know that you're not good at that either, Stefan."
"Clara," he sighed. "Will you just accept my help?"
"Hmm," I hummed, crossing my arms and looking at him. "I'll see."