"Something in my life is missing. I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I don't know what my next move should be..."
-------anonymous....
Dedicated to @angelistick
And to all who read this story.u
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Tricia stood up disturbed by the loud sound outside Vince office, out of nowhere she walked outside in messed looking back and forth, till she reached the delivery room.
Afterwards she found herself in the verge of heavy tears, she saw the woman grieving for the lost of her newborn child.
Tricia covered her mouth as she released the heavy sobs, upon hearing the woman's agony made her felt restless.
She moved forward taking another glanced at her in the glass window wherein she found herself mourning and grieving too, the flash backs of her past becomes clearer and clearer, she already saw herself in the woman.
Yes! it was almost ten years since that demuring incident happened to their life, their family almost shattered, her relationship with Vincent could've ended when both of them blamed each others negligence and undertakings.
But for Tricia's side who, have hated Vince so much because she think Vince let their baby died, and he doesn't make any move to save him.
As if she knows all his efforts.
His heartaches seeing her suffered.
The pain he kept by his own.
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"Hon, calm down okay? you'll be fine." Vince held Tricia's hands as they were rushing to the Emergency room.
"Vince, our baby! " she muttered weakly.
"Save our Timmy Vince" she cried gripping his hand tightly.
Vince moved his hands towards her temple caressing it through her head and nodded.
"Everything will be fine Hon." he assured her.
After an hour..,.........
"Doc. Vince" The doctor came out the door which caught Vince attention outside the ER.
"How is she Doc? " Vince asked desperately walking towards him.
He stared at her for a while before he continued.
"May problema tayo Vince, kanina when we tried to revived your wife's consciousness, we found out that the baby's heartbeat almost failed." He sympathetically stated.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin doc? " Vince asked curiously crossing his arms frowning.
"Sa ngayon inu obserbahan pa namin ang lagay niya, pati ang baby. But I have to tell you Vince mahina ang kapit ng bata sa Misis mo pati ang puso niya." He sigh and continue.
"Delikado ang lagay nilang mag ina at posible na bumigay ito." He tapped his arms.
Vince held his shoulders.
"Do everything that you can Doc! Nagmamakaawa ako iligtas mo ang mag ina ko." He looked down running his hands through his hair begging at him.
"We will do our very best Vince, yan lang maipapangako ko sayo sa ngayon. After the test results I will get back to you soon."
Doctor Adam leaves Vince dumbfounded while staring at her lovely wife.
He walked into the room, stopping at her right side as she opened her eyes trying to inspect the surroundings.
She found herself lying, in an isolated white room.
Tricia moved up a bit, eyes in him.
"Vince, how's our baby?" She asked him holding her tummy weakly.
"Where is he? Anong nangyari? kamusta na siya? Vince.... Tell me!" She sniffed.
"Shhhhh! magpahinga ka muna. Ligtas si Timmy, Okay! hindi makakabuti sayo ang ma stress." He hold her face wiping the beads of tears that about to fall.
"Vince I'm so sorry! Im very very sorry that I lied to you." she cried holding his hand too.
"Sorry kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo na...." she stammered.
"I almost lost our baby dahil sa kapabayaan ko. Sorry kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo kaagad. " This time she cried hardly while Vince hug her back in comfort.
"Nangyari na yun Hon. Mali na tinago mo sakin ang sitwasyon mo. Pero my kasalanan din ako. " she tapped her back caressing it.
"Lets pray that everything will be okay?" She nodded leaning her back again to the headboard.
......................
Two days had been past and Tricia was still in the hospital and still look weak, she from time to time lost consciousness, no appetite and vomits every morning, it seems that the inside her rejected the food she take.
"Doc ano na ang resulta sa mga tests mo? " Vince asked as he get in, in Doc Adam's office.
He releases the heavy sighs before continuing.
"Im sorry to say Vince..... but.... we tried the test many times. "
He placed an enveloped in his table.
"The results were the same..."
"Anong ibig mong sabihin doc?" he asked.
"Vince we found out sa results that the baby inside Tricia was already unconscious."
"Whattt?"he shouted in shock.
"What's your point? Diretsohin mo ako."
"Patay na ang anak na dinadala ngayon ng asawa mo Vince... At kailangan matanggal na ito sa lalong madaling panahon, dahil kung Hindi! You will not only lost the baby but your wife too." He continued.
He shook his head in disgust.
"Hindi totoo yan! Sabihin mo nagkakamali lang kayo."
He protested.
"Mali yan.... Mali.." He became agressive.
"Hindi pwede mangyari yun... Hindi..." He almost hit the door.
"Vince I know you know it. Doctor ka at alam mo kung ano ang tamang gagawin dito."
"Just tell your wife... about this, so we can do the operation as soon as possible." He then leave him flabbergasted.
As Vince open the door of Tricia's room, where he found her wife looking good, having fun with their kids and Vince parents.
"Dadhie!!!" Cathy and Miggy came running towards him. He just smiled at them as they walk to Tricia's side.
"Hon kamusta ang results, I'm okay na! pwede na ba tayong umuwi?" she clings at his right shoulder.
"Naiinip na ako dito eh... And besides nakapagpahinga naman na ako ng maayos." She added.
"Trish!...." he sigh looking at her eye to eye squeezing her hands.
"Vince don't worry magaling na ako. I'll promise susundin ko na lahat ng mga bilin mo. "
He look at his parents.
"Hon Uwi mo na ako pleaseeeeeeee. " she begged.
Vince take a glanced again to his parents, to Tricia and to his children.
He sigh again.
"Tatanong ko pa sa Doctor kung pwede kana idischarge"
He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know what to feel, how to react; he's like a numb during that time.
"Pahinga na kayo Ma, Pa" Trying to convert to their attention.
"Kayo na muna ang bahala sa kanila ( Pointing to Cathy and Miggy).
" At Ikaw *to Tricia* pahinga kana ulit." He tucked her hair behind her ears placing soft kiss in her temple.
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Vince came out from the ER after almost an hour if operations he assisted with Dr. Raymond.
As he walked heading his way to his office when he saw a woman outside the delivery room sobbing hardly, facing her back, that caught his attention.
He stop for a seconds still eyes glued at her.
As he walk nearer, there he found out it was Tricia standing in front of the door, in her heavy sobs.
He stop for a while staring at her, all pity for his wife, he felt guilt and pain at the same time, as what he thought like Tricia that they already moved on from that past nightmares of their lives.
But seeing his wife today in that way, devastated still in pain, everything flash backs to him, and it hurts so much.
He's a doctor....
Not just that... But a well known doctor..
Known as one of the best.
But has nothing to do for their own child.
He's such a failure to his wife.
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"Ayoko Vince hindi ako papayag." Tricia protested.
"Trish listen to me." he held her hand against him.
"Our baby there *pointing to her tummy* was unconscious for three days already. Delikado yun Hon para sayo." He explained caressing her face.
"Ano ba ang pinagsasabi mo Vince? Do you think patay na anak natin ha?"
He nodded.
"We should remove him Trish, before its over. "
"Noooooooo....Vince..ano ba ang sinasabi mo? Buhay ang anak Natin at nararamdaman ko yun." She shouted.
"Kailangan nating gawin to, ayoko na pati ikaw mawala din." He held her hand.
"Pakiramdaman mo Vince" she get his hand in her face and placed it in her tummy.
"Humihinga pa siya, at nararamdaman ko yun." He stared at him.
"Trish I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but we need to do this.." He begged holding her hand.
"Nooooooooo...Vince makinig ka.....*touching his face*
"..buhay ang anak natin. Maniwala ka naman sakin please."
"Nararamdaman ko buhay na buhay siya."
The door opened, the doctor together with the nurses came in with their apparatus.
"Anong ibig sabihin nito Vince?" She was shocked.
She cried.......
She tried to stood up as fast as she can escaping from them.
"Noooo.. Anong gagawin niyo sakin...Bitawan niyo ako." She cried fighting those nurses who tried to hold her in bed.
"Vince help me....." She begged
"Maniwala ka sakin. Please wag niyo kunin ang baby ko.. Parang awa niyo na." She cried hardly fighting them.
Vince moved backward looking away, he can't bear to see his wife in pain.
But he could do nothing with it, with the situation.
The truth hurts.
The pain his wife suffered was triple of what he felt during that time.
"Vince... parang awa mo na..Pigilan mo sila please." She begged once more as the nurse inject her arm and put to sleep.
"Wag...." She breath in trying to fight once more.
Please don't get my baby........" until she loose her consciousness, as her eyes close, wet of heavy tears.
Vince can't take it anymore seeing her wife that way.
So he rushingly walked out the Operating Room , running to the comfort room.
And there he releases all his emotions, he gets wild and wild, this is his way of relieving the pain and his guilt feeling,
He stared his reflection in the mirror after hitting the mirror inside. His fist was already bleeding.
This is not what he want at all but he need to do it, he need to decide, he had no choice but to save his wife. He need his wife more that anything else, Tricia was his life then.
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After the operation that last almost three hours Vince came in, and their he saw Tricia staring at nowhere, she's so weak, very pale and still numb.
.....................
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" She said impassively and continued.
"Hindi siya ibang tao Vince, hindi siya kung sino lang, anak mo siya.Anak mo yung binaliwala mo..." she cried hitting his chest.
"Anak mo yung pinatay mo, naririnig mo ba ako?...ni hindi mo man lang ako pinakinggan." She cried more in anger.
"Trish I'm so sorry" he also cried and tried to hold her hand when Tricia ignored it.
"Don't touch me!."
"Alam mo bang galit na galit ako sayo? Sa ginawa mo? Dahil Hinayaan mong mawala ang anak natin."
He sigh. "Magalit kana kung gusto mo. Naiintindihan kita, Iniisip ko lang ang kalagayan mo Trish, ayoko na pati ikaw mawala sakin... Samin ng mga anak mo.. Kailangan ka namin..Kailangan kita At sana naiintindihan mo yun." He muttered.
She move to the opposite side. "Gusto kung mapag isa..iwan mo muna ako." She replied at him looking away emotionless.
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Vince walk closer to her side, tapping her arms and giving Tricia a warm back hug.
Tricia knew it was Vince, so she held his hands that encircled her neck still eyes inside.
"Akala ko kaya ko na.... Tanggap ko na ang nangyari, pero hindi pa pala." She moved to face him.
Vince look at him through her eyes in pity.
"Napatawad ko na ba ang sarili ko? Napatawad na ba talaga kita?"
He pressed his thumb against her face wiping the beads of tears in her eyes.
"Shhhhhh! It's okay Trish, I know it's hard to forget but we need to moved on. I know kung nasaan man siya ngayon sigurado akong masaya na siya.." He tried to comfort her.
"Kasi nakikita kana niyang masaya. We already forgive ourselves. Our little angel was already in peace there in heaven." He smiled pulling Trish closer to lean her in his chest.
"That's what I thought Vince, pero Ang sakit sakit pa rin pala." She cried again.
She pulled from a hug fixing herself.
"Pero tama ka!..Kailangan kong tanggapin ang lahat ng nangyari satin."
"Dahil alam ko my dahilan ang lahat." She looked at him.
"At sana mapatawad mo na rin ako, hindi man ngayon, sana bukas, next week basta alam ko na handa mo na ulit ako tanggapin ng buong buo."
She held his hands against her, still Vince stared at her intently.
"Thank you for not leaving my side during those times Vince, thank you for not giving up." She caress his face.
"Na kahit buong buhay ko sinisi kita sa nangyari. Thank you for fighting with me, and for us."
"Shhhhh! Kasalanan ko din naman diba."
She shook her head.
"Nooo... Wala kang kasalanan..."
"I'm sorry dahil sa ating dalawa ako yung mahina."
He closed the gap between them as their forehead touches each other giving her wife the warm embrace.
"Let's go?" He asked her as they lowdown their emotions.
"Nagugutom na ako, Let's have dinner sa labas, then go home early para makapag pahinga ka ng maaga." He held her hand pulling Tricia closer as they both walk to his office.
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After the dinner Tricia and Vince heads immediately to their house, as what Vince told her.
They were now in their room.
Vince seated beside her reaching for her the glass of milk.
"I made milk for you, para makatulog ka ng maasyos." He smiled at her.
"Thanks..." She then drink her milk.
"But are you not going to sleep here?" She frowned as she saw Vince stood up.
"You should take your rest. May gagawin pa ako sa study room."
She nodded in reply.
"Ahhhhhmmmm. Vince.." She stuttered.
Vince looked back.
"Can we visit Timmy tomorrow?" She muttered shyly.
He mumbled.
He leaned down towards her.
"Oo naman.." He chuckled tucking her hair staring her through her eyes.
Vince drew closer, softly brushing his lips against her cheek.
He never knew that the mere touch if his lips would electrify his whole body.
She sigh staring at him.
Vince eyes moved down to her nose, then to her lips.
She bit her lips.
His hands wrapped around her arms pulling her closer. His fingers lay across her lips sliding to her cheeks.
Tricia closes her eyes as Vince slowly captured her lips.
His kissed was gentle and deep.
"Vince......" She pulled away slowly.
"What's wrong?" He asked curiously.
She bow down.
"I'm afraid that after my lips touches yours everything will changed, I'm afraid of the thought that it might changed the way you look at me now, the way you treated me right now."
He presses his fingers in her lips.
"Husshhhh.! I understand."
"Pahinga kana.,Dito lang ako..Goodnight Hon." He then place a gentle kissed in her forehead.
"You too.. Good night Hon." She hissed.
Before he finally walked out and leave their room, he gave a final glanced at her wife, tucked her in with the cover before heading his way outside.
He touched his lips.
"Kaya ko na ba?" In his thought.
"Do I still have doubts to myself?"
"Just enjoy the moment Vince, let it be."
He shooked his head closing the door.
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Thank you for reading...
Xoxo.
Pardon for typo's and grammars.
#theAmazingChardawn.
Comments and Votes are much appreciated.☺☺