My first oneshot ^_^ Hope you'll like it =)))
It's kinda...mmm..what's the right term? Uhm...
PG 15? Something like that =] PLEASE BE OPEN-MINDED. This story's concept is a societal issue and must be accepted. Let's accept the fact that some people can't accept others for who they are. IT'S NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY. One day I was lying down and then poof, the idea came to me.
HOPE YOU ENJOY IT~
Saranghaeyo yeorobun!~
[Kris and Tao on the side ----->]
~~***~~
Kris was resting in the veranda with Tao’s diary near him. He rereads the diary every day that’s connected to Tao. Birthday, death anniversary, Christmas and New Year. It never fails to make him cry and make him reminisce the past.
Today is Tao’s 26th birthday so Kris’ plans to go back to the past by opening Tao’s diary once more. The entry on the 7th page is where the story starts
[Kris-ge beat me up again because he saw me cross-dressing a while ago. My lips were wounded and I got a big bruise on my temple. My left eye is swelling too because of the punch he gave me. Why can’t he accept me for who I am?]
~~***~~
Kris was enraged when he saw Tao wearing a girl’s dress.
“Tao!” He growled
Tao got shocked when he heard the voice of his infuriated brother. Tao slowly walked going to his brother but even before he was near, Kris took a few steps forward and grabbed his brother’s collar. He lifted Tao in to the air until the poor 16-year old was tiptoeing.
“What did I tell you about this?” Kris angrily asked
“They made me wear it Gege. They forced me” Tao tried to convince his older brother.
“And you fucking agreed?” Kris vehemently hurled Tao like a piece of garbage to the ground and said “You’re going to get it later”
Tao’s heart pumped very fast. He knew what “it” means.
--
“Gege, stop please” Tao begged while crying
“What are you!? Boy or girl!?” Kris shouted as he hit Tao with an encyclopedia in the temple.
Due to the impact, Tao fell down and felt dizzy.”I’m a…I’m a…boy” the young boy said.
“I’m not convinced! What are you!?” The elder exclaimed then punched his brother’s mouth which caused his gums and lips to bleed.
“I’m a boy!” Tao blurted even though he was very dizzy and felt like fainting. He can see swirls around him. He feels the world turning around.
“Next time I see you cross-dressing, I would definitely do worse.” Kris warned the vertiginous youth. “Why can’t you stop being gay, Tao!? No one in our family is gay!” The elder said “Our great grandfathers are warriors, soldiers; Dad is even a war veteran. Me, look at me, I’m a basketball player and I want to become a doctor someday. Look at yourself in the mirror. You’re useless, you’re gay, you’re nothing to the society Tao!”
These words caused Tao’s tears to gush from his eyes.
“If you want me to treat you as a brother, act like a man and not like a little sissy who wants a doll” Kris said and left.
[After being battered by my Gege, I went to my best friend’s house. I want to live longer so I don’t want to die because of wound infection]
Tao semi-literally crawled going to Jandi’s house. His best friend and her mother are always there to treat his wounds whenever his brother beats him up. Jandi’s house was just 5 houses away from Tao and Kris’ so it wasn’t that far. Tao rang the door bell and leaned on the gate.
A 16-year old girl went out the door.
“Yes who’s th—SHIT! Tao, are you okay!? Oh of course you’re not.” Jandi rushed to the gate, opened it and assisted her weak friend.
“MOM! GET ME THE MED KIT!” She shouted “Did he do it again?”
Tao didn’t have enough force to answer verbally so he just nodded his head.
Jandi and her mom treated his wounds. Tao felt numb. While his wounds her being treated, he slowly lost consciousness.
~~***~~
Kris took a sip of coffee and continued to read the entries of his brother. As he imagined the things written on the diary, a tear escaped his eye. He was on the 13th page when this happened.
[Gege saw me playing dolls with Jandi. He got mad & as usual, he punched, hit and kicked me or to make the long story short, he treated me as a punching bag]
~~**~~
“You stupid bastard!” Kris loudly vociferated as he hit poor Tao with a meter stick in the thigh. Kris exerted too much force that caused the meter stick to break into two and his brother to kneel down and sob in pain.
“Barbies!? Fucking hell, Tao! You fucking have the height of a basketball player. You should play basketball with your own gender not some dress up with girls” Kris was speaking when Tao fainted. Kris just brought and threw Tao on the bed like a piece of bear crap.
~~***~~
Kris was now eating a slice of cake but before he tasted the sliced sweet, he whispered to himself…
“Happy Birthday Tao. Gege loves you”
[Kris-ge heard me singing in the shower. He said men shouldn’t do that so as usual, he beat me up but this time I was naked]
~~***~~
♪Lalalalalalalalala♪
Tao joyfully sang in the shower. He confidently vocalized in the bathroom because he thought Kris was going to be back after lunch…but he was wrong. Kris came back earlier than Tao expected. Kris heard Tao singing in the shower so he got mad because as he thinks, it’s for girls who aspire to be a songbird.
Kris unlocked the bathroom using the key in the cupboard. Tao was shocked to see this. The elder grabbed the youth in the neck and pulled him out of the shower,
“For Pete’s sake Tao! When will you fucking learn!?” Kris exclaimed. He grabbed and choked Tao. “Next time I hear you acting like a songbird in the shower, I would make you wash your face in the toilet, got it?”
“*uhuk* Yes *uhuk* Yes gege…”
Kris punched Tao in the stomach before he released his grip on Tao’s neck. The poor teen curled himself on the floor while he’s naked and sobbing.
~~***~
After satisfying his hunger with a slice of cake, he got a slice of egg pie.
He started to dig in and eventually he remembered
“Tao likes egg pies”
[It’s my 17th birthday and Kris-ge gave me a slice of egg pie. Even though it was on the floor, I still liked it. Egg pie is my favourite of all pies.]
~~***~~
Tao was busy cooking their lunch when Kris came home. He threw something to Tao but he failed to catch it. “It’s your birthday today” Kris said
The pie was on the floor. Good thing it landed on the crust so only a few parts splattered on the floor. Tao was so happy that Kris remembered. He picked the pie and uttered his thanks. Tao’s smile was metaphorically up to his ears. He didn’t really expect Kris to remember.
“I wish you to become manlier this year. If you’re sick and tired of me beating you, I’m not. I won’t stop hitting you with objects until you’re a full-fledged man” Kris said
Tao didn’t listen. He was busy satisfying his hunger with the slice of egg pie that Kris gave. He savoured each bite. He felt heaven with each munch.
~~**~~
Kris felt a little full so he stopped eating the egg pie and just continued to drink his hot coffee. He accidentally spilled a little on his shirt. It was so hot even though it was just a few drops.
[I accidentally spilled coffee on Kris-ge’s new shirt. He got so mad that he threw the contents of the mug to me. It was newly boiled water so it was really really really hot. Good thing I blocked it with my arm so my poor arm received Kris-ge’s boiling fury]
~~***~~
Kris ordered Tao to make coffee for him and his friends. He boiled some water and waited. After a couple of minutes, the kettle was whistling loudly. He poured the contents of the kettle into several mugs. He served the coffees to their guests. When he was to give Kris his, he accidentally tripped on something which caused him to spill some of the coffee on Kris’ new shirt.
“YOU STUPID IDIOT!”Kris shouted “Look at what you did!”
“I’m sorry gege, I’m so sorry” Tao placed the coffee on the table and tried to wipe the stain
“Stop wiping, stupid! It won’t come off!” Kris pushed his brother. He held the mug and threw the contents to Tao. Tao’s arm was badly burnt. Almost half of it had burns while some of the coffee was on his shirt. He cried in pain but no one dared to help him.
“Come on guys, I don’t like stupid gay people around me” Kris said to his friends. They all left, leaving the injured Tao untouched
~~***~~
*twink*
Kris got a message in his Blackberry Messenger. It’s from his wife
‘Appa, we’re on our way home. Want anything?’
Kris replied ‘Na, just come home so I can cuddle both of you’ and continued reading
[I was so tired of being bludgeoned by Kris-ge. I decided to start changing. I took the first step a while ago. I threw away all the things that makes me remember what I am]
~~***~~
Tao was decided to change. He threw all the stuff that makes him remember of what Kris so-called his “sickness”. He threw away all the stuff that’s pink. He threw away his hidden butterfly stickers. He dispatched everything except his diary. Tao had money. Their mom and dad left him 200,000 won for emergency uses. Kris knows about this but he was told by his parents not to touch it and leave it to Tao.
Tao bought new stuffs like masculine-colored shirts, jeans, shoes etc. He even bought hair gel, shaving cream and shaver. Kris saw this and he was puzzled
‘What’s he trying to do? Is he changing? Well, he should. I’m homo-llergic so he should change himself. It’s good that he’s learning. I bet his tired of getting battered’–Kris’ mind
~~***~~
[It’s hard you know? Getting rid of the stuff you once treasured but if this is what it takes for Kris-ge to love me as a brother, I don’t give a damn about it anymore but I really admit this changing thingy is really hard!]
Tao always observes Kris. He observes how Kris walks, talks, eats and sits. Tao was really striving hard to change. He learned how to play basketball. He asked some of Kris’ friends to teach him. At first, they were all laughing because Tao was obviously gay but time passed, Tao became better. Tao also learned boxing. At first, he would hit like a little girl. The coach would even laugh because when Tao gets hit, he stumbles and tears swell in his eyes. Practice. That made Tao better.
~~***~~
*twink*
Someone messaged Kris in BBM again.
‘Appa, you sure you don’t want anything? We’re here in the convenience store’
‘Na, I’m full. Just come home :*’
[I remembered Kris-ge asking me before what I want. He asked me what he should give me to change. Before I would answer to myself “Nothing can change me but I really want him to treat me as a brother” but everything has changed now. I’m changed now but I still want him to love me as a brother]
~~***~~
Tao didn’t show any signs of being gay anymore. He walks, talks, sits and eats like a man now. Kris became happy when he saw this.
Tao’s shyness still remained but his basketball and boxing skills became better. He joined the inter-village basketball game and he came the MVP.
Kris’ heart was slowly changing.
~~***~~
Kris went inside to get a glass of water. All this reading made him thirsty.
“Tao, wherever you are, please know that gege loves and misses you so much. Happy birthday again” he whispered
[It’s my 18th birthday. I’m so happy this day because gege gave me not one but TWO SLICES OF EGG PIE and not only that, HE GAVE ME COKE TOO. I hope he’s appreciating my efforts.]
~~***~~
Tao was busy cleaning the house when Kris arrived. He placed 2 cans of coke and 4 slices of egg pie on the table.
“Tao, come, let’s eat” Kris invited Tao
The celebrant was delighted. He smiled and sat beside his brother.
“Tao, my wish for you last year came true. Continue that and I might as well treat you better than this” Kris uttered and smiled
Tao’s face was lightened by a smile. It’s the first time he saw Kris beamed at him. Tao became so happy that day.
~~***~~
Kris brought the diary to their bedroom. He wanted to lay down while reading because his nape was already hurting. He continued to peruse the diary
[I went to Jandi’s house because it’s her birthday. We had so much fun. They were teasing me because of the change in me but I just laughed at it. They were so happy that me and my brother are okay now. When I got home, I was devastated. I heard sounds. Headboard banging, bed bouncing, a woman moaning and a man thrusting. It came from Kris-ge’s room. He was having…sex with someone]
~***~
As Tao entered the house, he heard someone moaning
“Ugh Kris! Fuck! It’s so good! Ugh ugh ugh!!” the woman whined
He could hear the headboard of Kris’ bed colliding with the wall. He went straight to his room and sat on the bed. The sounds were louder because Kris’ room was in front of Tao’s.
“Faster Kris! Ugh ugh ugh! Fuck it’s so good ugh faster!” he heard
‘Kris-ge is such a man. He’s now having sex. Should I do that too? I’m a man now and I think it’s time for me to do that too. Am I ready? Well, I don’t care. If this is what I should do to become a man, I will. FOR KRIS GEGE!’
Tao said in his mind
--
Kris was in the dining room, drinking his morning coffee when Tao woke up. Tao sat beside his gege and asked “Ge, I’m sorry to ask but what were you doing last night?”
“Oh, I was banging some girl. Why? You heard it?”
“Yeah. I’m just curious. Are men obliged to do that or something like that?”
“Not really obliged but it’s a manly need Tao.” Kris answered
“I was wondering…”
Kris read between the lines. He knows what Tao wants to say so he interrupted by saying “If you could have sex too? Of course, why not? I’ll call her to meet you up later”
Tao felt a little guilt but he was also a little excited. It will be his first, if ever.
--
Kris advised Tao to just wait in his room. The elder said he would just let the girl enter his room. Tao obeyed and just laid on his side.
Minutes later, he heard his door opening. He knew that he was near to losing his virginity but he didn’t care. The girl crawled on the bed and glided her fingers on Tao’s legs.
“HI babe” she whispered seductively to Tao’s ears. Tao turned around. The girl literally rode Tao. She went above him and asked “Excited?”
Tao nodded
“First time?”
The boy nodded again
“Well, I’m going to make it your best” Then the girl started to kiss Tao. She started to remove her clothes as well as Tao’s.
--
Kris was in his room. He was surfing the net while he waited for Tao and the girl to finish.
“Ugh Tao!!! Fuck it’s good!! You and Kris are really fucking brothers. Faster Tao ugh ugh!!!” The girl shouted
Kris was hearing headboard-wall collisions, bed bounces and moans of pleasure coming from Tao’s room
‘My brother is a man now’ Kris proudly thought
--
It was 2 AM now and Tao had 3 rounds with the girl. Even though they were done, Tao was still massaging the girl’s breast
“Did you like it?” The girl asked as she pressed her lips on Tao’s
“Of course. I even want more” Tao replied and kissed the girl again
“I’ll be back later” the girl said
“Make sure because I’m going to give you better.”
Before the girl left, Tao gave a smooch on her breast. Tao put his clothes on and went outside his room. In the sala was Kris with several bottles of beer
“Congrats bro! You’re a man now” Kris greeted. Kris and Tao did a high five. The younger grabbed a bottle, opened it and toasted it to Kris.
“CHEERS!” they said in unison
~***~
Kris became a little drowsy but he still wants to read the diary. He Indian sat on the bed and continued.
[By this time, I’ve already banged 5 girls. It feels so good! It seems like my body wants it 24/7. I don’t feel like I’m addicted to it I feel that it’s just a hobby or something.]
~~***~~
Contrary to his belief, Tao was now addicted to sex. He and Kris would often hire prostitutes to have sex with them. Kris deals with it in moderation. He limits himself to 2 per week but Tao...He was obsessed with it. Tao's room never gets unoccupied. Well, when it does, Kris can hear fapping sounds coming from Tao's room. Tao would usually watch x-rated stuff on their TV and masturbate on the couch regardless of who might see. Kris sometimes sees Tao doing it on the couch but he doesn't mind.
Tao goes to clubs every saturday and goes home drunk and with girls. Kris doesn't mind this stuff because he thought Tao was just enjoying his life, his manhood, his true gender.
~~***~~
Kris felt like peeing so he went to the comfort room to answer the call of nature. After urinating, he washed his hands, dried them and went back to reading.
[Why do I feel pain whenever I pee? It's as if there was something blocking the urine. IT'S PAINFUL YOU KNOW!?]
~~***~~
Tao had some urinating issues. He would complain to Kris that it hurts when he pees.
"Do you use condoms when having sex?" the elder asked
"well sometimes but sometimes i forget to"
Kris was alarmed with Tao's answer.
"Can it be? Does he have it?" Kris said in his mind
~~***~~
As Kris was reading this part of the diary, he became hungry again. He got a bag of chips and shoved some in his mouth
[I went for a test. I was so disappointed. How can I be so careless?]
~~***~~
Kris went home. As he opened the door, he saw Tao. He heard some sobs so he went near his brother. He placed his hand on Tao's shoulder.
"Don't go near me, gege" the sobbing boy uttered
"What's wrong?"
Tao handed papers to Kris. As the elder was reading the papers, his eyes grew wider. His eyes were almost coming out of its sockets because Tao was...
"HIV positive"
Tao weeped even louder. Louder. Louder . His cry was becoming louder.
"I'm fucking infected, gege! Don't go near me!"
"Tao..." Kris patted his brother's shoulder but Tao stood up and shouted "DON'T GO NEAR ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Kris pulled Tao to a hug. The teen was resisting at first but eventually relaxed while being embraced by his brother.
"I'm so careless *sobs*"
"shhh... Gege is here."
"I'm dirty gege! I'm immoral!!! I'm immoral..."
Tao's knees weakened causing them to slowly sit down.
"Gege is here for you Tao" Kris tried to comfort his weeping brother
~~***~~
Kris finished the bag of chips and is no drinking coke. 'I'm gonna have LBM with this' he thought. He still pursued reading his brother's memoir.
[It's been 3 weeks since I discovered this illness of mine. I don't know how but people knew about it. They called me names like "male whore" "HIV Kid" "The dirty one" and so many more. Even Jandi is afraid to go near me. Now, only gege goes near me and talks to me. Thank you, gege. I love you so much but I think it's time to end all this.]
~~***~~
It's been five days since Tao last came out of his room. From time to time, Kris checks on him but when it was the fifth time he skipped a meal, he became worried. Kris cooked porridge for Tao to eat. He opened the door to Tao's room and said "Tao, please eat. I'm worried already"
He placed the bowl of porridge on the side table on the right side of the bed. He sat down on the bed and said "I know your situation and condition is hard but please eat."
He received no response.
He shooked Tao's body to try to end his brother's deep slumber. He felt something odd as soon as his fingers touched Tao's skin. It was cold, oddly cold. Kris flipped his brother's body. A wound in his wrist was revealed to Kris. His brother was pale and the bed sheets were red.
"Tao...Tao...Tao, wake up..." Kris shouted as he slapped Tao lightly on the cheeks to try to wake him up.
Kris brought Tao to the car and to the hospital.
He was rushed to the emergency room. Kris waited for a couple minutes then the doctor came out.
"Doc, how's my brother?" he eagerly asked
The doctor removed his facial mask and said "It's been three hours since he died. You should have brought him earlier, we could have saved him. The laceration on his wrist was really deep so he died of blood loss. I'm so sorry" The doctor walked away leaving Kris in agony.
'This is all my fault' Kris thought
Kris cried as he drove home. He was loudly sobbing. He almost hit a pedestrian crossing because his vision was blurred by his tears.
As Kris arrived home, he went inside Tao's room. He sat on the middle of the bed and from there, he can see a big stain of blood on the left side of the bed. Kris cupped his face with his hands.
"I'm sorry Tao, I'm so sorry" he cried "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have forced you to quit being gay. I should have accepted you for who you are. I shouldn't have taught you sex. You wouldn't be obsessed to it if it wasn't for me. I'm sorry Tao, I'm so sorry. It's too late to say this but I'm sorry. " Kris continued to cry. He remembered all the times he bludgeoned Tao, shouted at Tao etc. He remembered Tao staring at him and observing how he moves. He remembered how Tao manages to smile hours after being beaten. He reminisced the old Tao.
When Kris turned his head to Tao's study table, he saw a letter on top of Tao's diary. He opened it and read the letter.
'Gege, I just want you to know that I love you so so much even though you don't love me back. I want you to know that even if you beat me up so badly, I still love you as my brother. I thank God for giving me a brother like you even if you curse me. I changed Gege. I changed because of you, to make you happy. I'm happy if you're happy. I hope that you appreciated my efforts. Thank you for making me stronger Gege. When the time when I was weak came, you were there. When I needed a hug, you embraced me wholeheartedly. I'm glad you changed too. When I discovered my sickness, I became blue. People knew about it so they became afraid but you Gege, you weren't afraid to hold me in your arms even though you knew I had HIV. What does heaven look like gege? Is it cold there? Are there gay people there? I hope there are none because I know you are homo-llergic. I'm gonna see Mom and Dad now. We'll be waiting for you okay? But don't come early, take your time here in Earth. I hope you become happy now that I'm dead. You want to become a doctor right? I hope it happens. Have a family of your own, gege. Have a family that will make you forget about me. I'm really sorry for causing you so much trouble. I know that you were suffering because of me. Now that I'm dead, you're free. Please don't get mad at me. It's the only solution I see. I don't want to feel like a monster so I'd rather take my life than be called a "male whore". I will always stay by your side Gege. I love you. Forever. Always
-Tao
Kris' cry became louder. His sobs were deafening, his growls were ear-shattering . Kris hugged the letter.
"I love you too Tao. Gege loves you too" he cried. "It's too late to say this but I'm sorry and I love you too."
~~***~~
Kris' tears fountained from his eyes. He can't help but remember everything. Countless times has he been reading Tao's diary and it makes him cry everytime. He remembered Tao's youthful and sincere smile.
"I love you Tao" he whispered as he wiped his tears away
"Appa, we're home!" Kris' wife shouted from the door. Kris went out of his room and gave them a hug.
Noticing Kris' swollen eyes, his wife asked "You read it again?"
"Nothing in this world can make me cry except Tao's diary and imagining that you and our child will leave me."
"Of course I won't leave you, Yeobo. I love you so much" She pecked a kiss on Kris' lips
"Appa, you should have seen the butterfly a while ago, it was really big" said his child
"How big was it?" he asked the youngling
"As big as you Appa"
"Wow! Really!? That butterfly is really big. Take a shower first and tell me more about it after, okay?"
Kris' child ran but came back after a few seconds
"Appa, am I pretty?" His child asked
"Yes Baby Tao, you're the prettiest son of all" he answered then kissed his son on the cheek "Go now, kiddo. You're smelly"
The joyful kid skipped going to the bathroom.
'Tao, look at my son. I named him after you and coincidentally, he is you. Don't worry, I won't treat him like I treated you. I will love him as I should have loved you. I will be a good father to him as I should have been a good brother to you. Protect him okay? Don't let bad things happen to him. He's my precious.'
Kris whispered to himself "I love you brother Tao. Forever. Always"
Kris felt the wind embrace him. He felt a cold yet comforting hug from the wind.
"I love you too Gege. Forever. always" Tao whispered
and the embracing wind vanished.
~~**~~
GAMSAHABNIDA!