:: ONE ::
There were days where Carolyn felt like complete shit, and then there were days where she felt beautiful. She had spent the entire day yesterday trying to find a perfect outfit for her birthday today and when she did, it had been the first time she had genuinely smiled in forever. She has happy.
She was positive she looked beautiful. With her hair up into a tight bun and her mascara enhancing her beautiful hazel eyes, the red lipstick that stuck out and her beautiful, curvy, sexy body, she couldn't wait to hear what Andy had to say. Because despite how much he treated her like complete and utter shit, he was always staring at her boobs.
And that made her feel sexy.
Of course Andy would slut shame her, and of course she would feel down, but this time she was sure that Andy would admire her for the first time.
And as she saw Andy walking down the hallway her palms began to sweat and her heart began racing like she had ran in a ten mile race. There was this tingling sensation in her stomach as looked at her and then before she knew it she was back at where she started; Andy had hated it.
His nose scrunched up in disgust as he threw his head back laughing hysterically and wickedly. "You couldn't look worse even if you had a sack over your head." He said and as hard as she tried to forget it she couldn't. Andy had placed his foot before Carolyn's and as her entire body fell forward he laughed harder. Earning her many stares.
Everyone just laughed. No one defended her. No one said anything. No teachers were around. And as everyone continued laughing, she couldn't have thought of worse birthday.
Her bun had fallen out of place, her mascara was smearing due to her tears and her heart couldn't ache more. Because as much as she tried to look beautiful. Andy wouldn't want her. Nobody would.
All she wanted was to feel sexy.
But Andy wouldn't let her.
He made her feel worse.
He made her feel pathetic.
He made her feel unworthy.
He made her feel suicidal.
And as much as Carolyn tried, Andy would only mount on her problems. Because the guy that she wanted to be loved by, did not love her.
➳
If you feel down because of some jerk who won't admire your bountifulness, you are beautiful. If you feel down because you don't feel loved, I love you. If you feel like you aren't enough, know that you are, you are in this world for a reason and don't waste it on being sad. Live it by being happy.